Nick sat down on the bed and stared at the crumpled sheet of paper in his hand. He couldn’t help the tears that fell down his face when he read the first words on his father’s letter for him.
To my ever-dearest son, Nick.
He never expected his father addressing him that way. He never felt himself being dearest to his father. With all the mischief he had just to get his father’s attention, he’s still his father’s dearest son. He continued staring at the paper. His hands are trembling. He doesn’t want to do anything to start reading it. Was it fear? Was it loneliness? He couldn’t try to continue to read what’s in the letter.
His tears continue to fall. He couldn’t admit to everyone how his father’s death affected him so much, how he regretted that he was cold on him when he called before he died. He punched a wall then when he heard the news. His father didn't deserve to die.
At the funeral, he concealed see his true emotions from the people who were trying to know how does it feel for him. He doesn't need their sympathy. His father was gone and he blamed himself for being the bad son that he is, for causing his father a lot of pain.
He loves his father so much. It saddened him a lot that he wasn’t able to tell and show him how much he loves him and appreciates everything he’s done for him. He regretted that he wasn’t able to tell his father how proud he was of him. If only he could turn back the time, he will fix everything between them. He will make up for everything he’s done. He will show him that everything he did was for him.
Nick continued to cry silently. He felt so alone. He felt so lonely. He missed his father.
Probably after almost half an hour, he takes the courage to open the crumpled piece of paper. And he saw it again. His eyes blurred from tears and he gently wiped it away.
‘To my ever-dearest son, Nick.
I know you’re mad at me for failing you in many different reasons but I want you to know that I love you so much. You are very close to my heart and even though we disappointed each other many times, I never give up on you. I will be here by your side in whatever you planned to be in your life. I’ve been to your high school graduation today but they told me that you’re already gone. For the nth time, I failed again. But as long as I live, I will try to make up for the times I’ve lost. I have my own shortcomings as a father but I will do my best to be what you expect me to be. Please forgive me for the things I did in the past. And I’m proud of you when you decide to pursue a career in law. It’s something that I wanted to be when I was young but my own father insisted me to become a businessman to handle the family business. I’d like you to know that I’ll support your way to Harvard, son. You may not know it but I’ve been very glad that you pursued my dream.
After you read this, I hope we can talk. I hope you can find a time to talk with me. I will try to, just tell me when. I missed the days when we go out camping together when you’re just a kid. I remembered the days we spent together at sea, scuba diving and just swimming around. I also missed that day when you fell down the deep river and I went after you to save you. We formed a bond there and I want to bring it back. You’re my precious boy. And I just don’t want memories. I want to be your father again.
Love, Dad’
He couldn’t help it now as he poured sad tears. “Dad, I miss you…” He really did and he can’t do anything now. His dad was gone.
~~~
Audrey stared blankly into space as she sits alone in her own balcony just outside her room. She missed her dad. Seeing his handwriting when she got her letter sent back memories of the past. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. It’s been more than a month now since he’s gone. She’s still in mourning. She never got the chance to tell him how much she loves him despite his shortcomings as a father to her and Nick.
‘My one and dearest daughter, Audrey.
I want you to know that I love you. I am proud for the young woman you’ve become. I may not be always there for you but surely, your mother guided you well to become a loving and caring person that you are. She tells me a lot about you and Nick. I regret the times I wasn’t there for you. I may not be the best father you can be proud of but I’m trying to be. I can’t blame you and Nick for turning against me. It’s something that I failed to see, that I’m disappointing my own children in favor of the businesses I’ve had. Still, you’re always in my thoughts especially you, my only daughter. I felt so happy on the day that you were born. You are so beautiful that I don’t want anyone to touch you except me and your Mom.
By the time you’re reading this, you’re probably on your way to boarding school. I especially chose that institute for you. It’s a good school where you can be safe and away from the dangers and bad influences of the modern society. You may not love it there but I trust that you’re going to be in good hands. I want the best for you and your brother. I love you so much, Audrey…’
Audrey continued to read her father’s letter. Her silent weeping turned into quiet sobs. She felt alone. She felt lost. She realized how much her father loves her and cares everything for her own good. She realized how she took everything for granted and regretted what should have done because now, she can’t do anything but cry. Her father is forever gone.
~~~
‘My darling Alex,
It hurts me when you showed me away when I attended the inauguration of your business but I know, I couldn’t blame you for what you did. As I am to Nick and Audrey, I haven’t been a good father to you too. Nevertheless, I’m grateful and happy that you’re my son. I’ve been so proud of what you have become. You’re a very intelligent man who knows what he wants and what to do with his life…’
AJ bit his lower lip as he continued reading. He never wanted to cry but his father’s letter makes him cry. After all that has happened in the past, he realized that he loved his father. He may not admit it before but he idolized him. Knowing that The Geoffrey Carter was his father inspired him to be the best he can be, to achieve the goals he wanted to reach. He looked up to his father like an undaunted hero who surpassed several hardships in life. He wanted to be a successful businessman like his father.
‘Be thankful with what you have, Alex, and continue with what your aspirations in life are. Don’t give up from any challenges you may encounter for it will make you strong. And most of all, believe me when I tell you that I love you very much.’
AJ wiped his tears. He put back his shades and leaned against the lounge chair. He had forgiven his father. He felt lighter now. He realized that forgiving is the only way to make himself free, happier and lighter. He felt more confident because he now knows that his father loves him. It may be late for that but he felt he’s ready to face anything now. He had his back-up. He knows that wherever he is now, his father will always be with him, in his heart and soul.
