I didn’t have a very good sleep, which was no surprise really. It usually takes me a long time to actually fall asleep because my minds goes a mile a minute. My mind went to Kevin over and over again, even when I tried to sidetrack myself with thoughts of the little mystery of his house, in the end I always went right back to him.
He was going to tell us something big, something that would change everything and the more I thought about it, the more I was certain of what it was. He was going to leave the group. It made perfect sense really.
That’s why he was working on a new house in Kentucky for Kris. It wasn’t just going to be a getaway for him; it was going to be his actual new home. A place he could hide until all the fans got over the thought of him leaving. It was so out of the way, really it’s a great hiding place.
In my head all night long I dreamt up ways of possibly stopping this from happening. Huge ass speeches about loyalty and not giving up on what made you what you are. I thought about taking a quiet, calm approach. I thought about yelling and screaming. I thought about threatening to jump off a roof if he left.
But I finally figured out the best way to deal with it was to NOT deal with it, so the plan was to change the subject whenever he tried to bring it up. If that meant keeping my distance from him all day, then so be it. I wasn’t going to let him leave me, not after all we have been through together. Sure it sounds selfish, but no more selfish than him leaving the group, right?
I gave up on laying down at around 4 in the morning and finally just sat up in bed and stared at the sketch pad a bit. I even began to draw my own little pictures, feeling slightly guilty for disrupting the pages after all of these years. Maybe if I made my own little staircase, the reason this one was on the page might jump out at me.
When the sun came out I was no closer to answers as I was when AJ finally left my room last night. I have a feeling his night was probably as restless as mine was. That became clear when he came and got me for breakfast. He was wearing his sunglasses, even though it was raining outside.
“I always panic when I see you wearing those things.”
He yawned as he plopped on my bed, taking his glasses off and placing them next to him. “Yeah? Well there’s no need to. I didn’t realize it was raining outside.”
“Did you sleep well?”
“Not really….what about you?”
I shook my head and sat down on the floor with my back to the TV so I could face him. “I’ve been thinking about this Kevin thing. I know what we need to do.”
“Bribe him? I still have the pictures we took of him in Germany.”
“Oh my God, you do?” My eyes lit with delight at that one. I’ll never forget that night ever!
“Oh yeah, I knew one day we’d need to bring out the big guns!”
“I don’t think that would convince him to stay, do you?”
“No, but it would be humorous to see his face when he saw those pictures though!”
“Would this be before or after he murdered us?”
“Us? Not us, you buddy. It was all your idea, remember?”
“Please, I was only 15 years old if even AJ. You completely put me up to it. I just went along and besides you’re the one with the proof, not me.”
“Okay good point, so I guess bribery is out. What was your plan?”
“Avoidance.”
“And how are we going to do that?”
“By changing the topic whenever it comes up. I don’t want to have this conversation with him today or anytime in the near future.”
“What if it’s not a big deal though?”
“It’s Kevin…if he says it’s a big deal, it’s going to be a big deal.”
“Well, you better think of a way to avoid him soon because when I passed his room I heard him singing to himself.”
“That means he’s looking in the mirror and brushing his hair.” I said. It was a little scary how we had each other’s routines down to a science.
He nodded, “It’s only a matter of time before he knocks on the door.”
“Every time he starts up looking serious let’s just tell a joke or something.”
“Nick, Kevin always looks serious even when HE tells a joke.”
“True, well let’s act extra silly then, he won’t even try to be serious with us if we act extra silly.”
AJ nodded at me just as a light tap on my door was heard, “Here we go.” I said as I stood up and grabbed for the door.
There he was his hair all wet and still whistling. “You’re not dressed yet.”
“I will be in a minute…come on in.”
“How’s the chest?” He asked, gingerly putting his hand on my boob and yes I am aware of how wrong that sounded.
“It’s kind of sore today; I didn’t get much sleep last night.” Maybe by playing the sympathy card, he’d feel sorry for me and not tell us what he wanted to.
“I’m sorry little man; would you like to skip working today and just stay in bed and rest?” He was giving me the out I needed. If I stayed in bed, he wouldn’t be able to tell me his big news and I highly doubt he would tell AJ alone. But then again, if I wasn’t in his house, I couldn’t investigate it properly. “I’ll tell you what…why don’t we go get some breakfast, my treat, and after we’re done you can tell me how you’re feeling, okay?” I guess I must have waited to long to give him a decision.
“Okay.”
“You ready Mclean? You look like you’re about to fall asleep.” I heard Kevin say when I came out of the bathroom… all ready to go.
I looked over at AJ who had his head on my pillow with his eyes closed. “Yeah yeah yeah, I’m coming.”
Kevin gave me a smile and winked at me as we made our way to his car. My chest really was sore after all so I started rubbing at it. “You sure you’re okay buddy?”
“Yeah…just a bit on the sore side I guess.”
“I think you should take a day off…”
“Maybe we all should, you know chill out for the day.” AJ seemed annoyed that I was once again getting off the hook while he was going to get stuck doing more work.
“I don’t know guys. I can probably handle doing some easy stuff. Maybe I can just go up to the attic and see what’s up there or something.”
Kevin shrugged at me, “It’s up to you. I’ll be perfectly fine if you need to chill today. AJ and I can handle things alone.”
I’m not sure why that bothered me but it did. The way he said it, was almost like he wanted me to not be around or something. Maybe he only wanted to hang out with AJ today and was hoping I’d take the ‘lazy’ way and back out. In fact, he was probably so certain of that he had no idea what to do now that I was saying I’d go along.
I’m sure my thinking was far from rational but after being up all night long and feeling kind of crappy today that’s how I took it. So therefore even if I was dying I’d be going to Kevin’s today! There was no way I was going to let him win!
“Nah, I’ll go and explore the attic. It shouldn’t be too bad just hanging up there and going through boxes. I’ll just let you know what to keep and what to throw away.”
“I don’t plan on keeping anything Nick; we’re throwing it all away. There’s no need to even go through it. It’s all just going to be tossed.”
Why was he making this so difficult?
“I’d still like to look around up there though.”
“But it’ll be hot and dusty no; I think you should just stay at the hotel today.”
“Well, I don’t really care what you think I should do. I’m coming!”
Uncomfortable silence time…just like whenever we had a fight. We always left a few minutes of quiet before one of us usually spoke.
Most of the time Kevin would be the first one to speak because nine out of ten times, I’d end up leaving the room in a ‘huff’ as Brian liked to call it.
The silence lasted the entire car ride over to Denny’s, the only real restaurant around his new place. We sat at a booth and he threw his jacket next to AJ, “I’ll be right back.” He told Bone, me? he didn’t even look at. I was feeling guilty now. I knew I’d have to apologize to him when he came back so I hope he takes his time.
“What the hell are you doing dude?” I looked up from my deep thoughts to see AJ scowling at me. May I just add that when AJ scowls he looks kind of like a raisin. He does, check it out next time you see him scowling.
“What?”
“Why are you fighting with Kevin? We don’t want him to leave the band, remember?”
“Like that’s going to make him quit. If he decided he wants to leave then he’s going to leave J. There’s nothing that’s going to change that.”
“True, but maybe now he’ll be more than happy to tell us all about it. Besides, if you had said you’d stay back at the hotel, he would have never told us anything. Now I feel like he’s going to lay it on us now. Thanks a lot man.”
“Don’t blame me for this!”
“Then who should I blame?”
“Oh I don’t know…Kevin maybe? I mean he’s the one leaving, isn’t he?”
“Leaving what?” AJ and I both looked up at Kevin as he sat back down. “What are the two of you talking about?” He asked with a suspicious look on his face. He used that look often with the two of us, especially in our younger days. He was a pro at that look, in fact that look would get me into trouble more times than I’d like to admit. Once I saw that ‘it’s only a matter of time before I know what you’re up to Nick’ look on his face I ended up spilling the beans to him before I actually got into trouble and you can probably guess who I would in turn end up ratting on.
“Nick was saying how he thinks he should leave and go back to the hotel and rest.” AJ cut in, probably before I had a chance to get him into trouble for something.
Kevin looked at me surprised, “Really? Are you feeling okay?”
Damn AJ and his quick thinking, but most of all damn him for ruining any chance I had at exploring today! I nodded, “Yeah I’m feeling okay but I guess maybe you’re right. I should just kind of chill today.”
“Excuse me? Is hell freezing over? Did Nick Carter just say I was actually right about something?”
AJ of course got a huge kick out of that, but I just smiled and sarcastically added a “Yeah…uh I guess you got me there.”
“After breakfast we’ll go back to the hotel and drop you off kiddo.” He winked at me and did that annoying clicking thing with his tongue but I guess that also meant we were off the hook for now. He seemed a lot happier coming back from the bathroom then he did when he left the table. I wonder if he took happy pills or something.
“And you’re dropping me off too?” You had to love the sound of desperation in AJ’s voice. He hated that house. For what it’s worth though, I was kind of jealous about the quality time they’d be spending together so in a way I wanted him to stay behind as well. Even though the thought of him jumping and squirming every single time the floor creaked gave me great pleasure.
“Nope, I thought maybe we could go play some golf. You up for that?”
What? Golf!!! That’s not fair!! I could easily play golf with them. “Why the hell are you going to play golf?” Yup, just like that I was back in defensive mode.
“Because it’s too hot to be in the house without air conditioning and I just figured it would be something we could do without you since you hate golf. You do still hate golf, right? Or did that change?”
Damn it! “I don’t know…I kind of play a little bit now.”
“He actually came out with Rok and me a few times.” AJ added as if Kevin would never just take my word for it or anything.
“Sorry buddy, I didn’t know. Well, you’re more than welcome to join us then. Take a break from cleaning and have some fun. Although I’m not sure it’s a good idea for you to be out in the hot sun all day long. Maybe we could do something else, got any suggestions? Is there a movie you want to see or anything?”
I felt dumb for feeling excluded, it happens to the best of us though, “Nah, I think I’m going with the original plan and lounge naked in bed all day long.”
“Okay dude…way too much info for me.”
“Oh please, we all know how much the thought of my nakedness excites you Bone.”
“You sure?” Kevin asked while placing his shoulder on my arm and looking me square in the eyes. Another thing he always did to me when I was still a kid. He said he could tell when I was lying to him by looking at my eyes.
“Yup, I’m positive…go and have some fun.”
The rest of our breakfast was quite uneventful. I have to say not even once did I think that Kevin was going to say anything about leaving the band. I was beginning to think that maybe it was all in AJ’s head. It wouldn’t be the first time either.
As we were driving back to the hotel out of the blue and unexpectedly he said, “Guys, I have to tell you something…”
I don’t know why I said what I said next. I blame AJ and his Germany talk earlier on in the day, “Kevin do you remember the Lederhosen incident?”
“Where did that come from?” He half smiled at me and my randomness although it wasn’t very random at all. He didn’t have to know that though.
“AJ and I were talking about that this morning before you came to get us. That time in Germany when you got really drunk…”
“Why on earth were you guys talking about that?”
“Because I never remember laughing so hard in my life, I think I had milk pour out of my nose I was laughing so hard.”
“I don’t remember even putting those lederhosen on…it was all a big blur really.”
“What would you do if I told you I had pictures of that?”
He let out a laugh, “You have got to be kidding me!”
“I don’t have them…actually AJ does.”
“What?” Just as I hoped he would, he turned his attention to J who wasn’t very impressed with my tattling to say the least.
“I’m not sure if I do or not…uh…. I was just telling Nick that I remembered it…uh, that’s all.” He followed that up with a very nasty look at me.
Once again…very raisin-ish. But whatever the case, my little distraction worked because next thing you knew, we were at the hotel! Whatever he wanted to tell us, he never got the chance! Phew!
“I’ll see you guys later then!” I said turning to them and smiling as AJ got out of the back seat and hopped into the front.
“Go rest and take a nap, we’ll come and grab you for dinner and possibly a movie later, okay little man?”
“Sounds good.” I waved as they pulled away.
I walked into my room and collapsed on the bed, I was really tired and a nap would have done me a world of good but once again that damn sketch pad was like screaming to me. Why couldn’t I just drop it for once?
“Ignore it Nick and take a damn nap!” I closed my eyes to get the thought of that house and its stupid mystery out of my head but to no avail.
“You know it’s a good thing I’m not a god dammed cat.” I said as I stood up and grabbed for that sketch pad.
After picking it up off the floor and staring at it for a few more minutes, something else popped out at me, something that I hadn’t noticed before. There at the very top if the steps was a tiny and I mean really tiny picture of Chub Chub, at least it really looked like Chub Chub. It was so small it could have very easily been my imagination but I swear it was there.
“I wish I owned a magnifying glass or something!”
That had me looking around the room for the bear. Had I left it as Kevin’s or did I bring it back with me? I started looking all around my room and smiled when I saw Chub Chub’s leg sticking out from under the dresser. He was behind my suitcase. I probably put him there so this way the guys wouldn’t think I was insane for having the stuffed teddy bear in my room with me, especially after it attacked me the way it did.
I bent down and looked at him up close and then back at the drawing of the steps. Yup, this bear was the same one in the picture, there was no mistaking it now. How on earth did I miss it before?
You might think I’m stupid for what I did next, but I pushed down on its belly. I mean it’s not like there would be two knives in there or anything, right? I did feel something though, it felt metallic and I was scared for a second, until I realized what it was.
“I’ll be damned…this is getting very interesting now.” I said as I reached into the hole that the knife had left behind and pulled out a key. It was a small key, “Just perfect for a small room.” I smiled as I called up a taxi to take me back to Kevin’s place.
They would be gone for hours playing golf, leaving me with more than enough time to explore the attic and of course the basement, where I knew a perfect door that would match the key I was holding in my hands.
I didn’t even think about danger, I was too fixated on finding answers.
Stupid me.
