When we finally got back from the hospital it was almost completely dark. Chub Chub cost me about 15 stitches and a few random smirks from the various nurses and doctors that came in looking for autographs. I was lucky, my doctor told me. A few inches to the right and I would have had some serious problems. Good thing that teddy bear’s blade wasn’t a little larger. The doctor had said with a smile as if I would’ve laughed and gone golly gee whiz…you are funny doc!
Of course it wasn’t me that felt compelled to tell half of America the reason I was there in the first place. I’d be sitting there on the gurney minding my own business and next thing you know, a few cute nurses would come in followed by AJ saying, “Tell them why you’re here Nick…you’ll love this story!”
Sometimes I really hate AJ, not like he hasn’t hurt himself doing equally dumb things.
And of course when I tried to act all coy, like I had no clue what he was talking about…that’s when Kevin not even bothering to look up from his magazine would say, “He got stabbed by his stuffed teddy bear.”
Thanks Kevin, and it’s not my stuffed teddy bear!
To make things even worse they gave me a tetanus shot! I hate shots!! You would think that all of that made me learn my lesson, but no. I was eager to get back to that house and explore some more. There had to be more in that hidden little room that held the secrets to what was really going on in that house. Then there was the question of that sketch and the number 13. With so many things left unanswered, I was understandably bummed when Kevin said we were calling it a day and heading back to the hotel.
“But Kevin, we barely got any work done.”
“And this disappoints you how?” He was talking to me as he usually does when he has decided to shut off his Nick button. I was on mental mute.
“I just think we can do some more stuff especially now that it’s darker. It’s probably also 20 degrees cooler in there. What do you say fellas?”
Both of them looked at each other and shook their heads, why did I suddenly feel like I was five? “What is the deal with you and my house?”
“What do you mean?”
“You seem slightly obsessed with it.”
“Obsessed? What? I’m not obsessed with your house Kevin.”
“I think you are.”
“Well then you’re wrong.”
“I am never wrong.” He said, wrongly.
“Well whatever dude, I just wanted to help out that’s all. If you don’t want to make use of that then your loss I guess.”
“Nick you were just stabbed, I think it’s time you relax for a bit, don’t you think?”
“Yeah by a friggin teddy bear…that’s the best dude…seriously!” I shook my head and rolled my eyes at AJ.
“I guess.” I answered Kevin, totally ignoring AJ and his fascination with my stuffed animal related injury.
“Yes, you need to lie down and relax. I mean God Nick; the doctor said you were close to dying.” I have to say that the doctor never said anything like that. Kevin can be overdramatic at times, this being one of those times.
“I’m fine.”
“Yes and we are thanking God for that.”
I smiled at him, despite me being annoyed. Kevin just always had this awesome way to make me feel cared about. Even when I was a kid, one minute I’d be ready to spit on the guy and then he’d say something like that, usually when I really needed to hear it. Those were the times when I found myself wanting to spend every waking minute around him.
Our relationship was so weird.
“Seriously, I’m glad you’re okay dude. I would have hated to explain to Teen Beat how a smelly ass bear did you in.” AJ reached back and pat my head. I was sprawled on the backseat of course.
“Does Teen Beat even exist anymore?”
“Right Carter, act like you don’t read it.”
“Do you?”
“Sometimes…” Both Kevin and I groaned as AJ continued, “Well they do have great tips on manicuring in there.”
I had about a thousand smart ass comments I could have easily spewed but the painkillers I was given were starting to take effect, so instead I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the rest of the car ride in silence.
The grandfather clock’s chiming made me look up in awe of its size. It was huge, so much bigger than me. I was child, not sure how old but there was Chub Chub in my hands. He looked evil and dirty but he wasn’t scary at all, to me anyway. That’s when I felt her jump on me. I ughed and pretended I was in pain, just like I always used to do when I was small.
She reacted by laughing. You’d think she would feel bad, but she didn’t. Leslie loved inflicting pain on people. “Get off of me Les!” I rolled on my side and off she fell, the entire time laughing.
When I stood up we were back in the house- Kevin’s house although it was my family that inhabited it. My mother was standing over the oven as she talked to my father through clenched teeth. She always was so angry when talking to him, why that memory only came back to me as an adult I’ll never know.
“Because I said so Bob!” That’s all I heard but it was enough for me to turn and make my way up the steps. I always avoided my parents when they were like this. I felt bad for leaving the rest of the kids downstairs but I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and my bear.
I climbed up to my room which was the same one with the empty nailed shut closet. I sat on the bed and looked over at the window, why did I just want to climb out? All I wanted to do was escape this place. I was so unhappy, or was it the dream me that was? Perhaps a little of both.
I heard a small voice, “Come play with me” She whispered. It was Belle, even though I have no idea what she sounded like, instantly I recognized her.
“I can’t, Chub Chub hurt me and I need rest.”
“Oh come on, don’t be such a baby.”
I got up off my bed and leaned all the down to look through that hole. Sure enough there was an eyeball staring back at me. “I can’t!” I said more definite this time.
“Since when do you listen to them?”
I shrugged, she had a point. I was a good kid and did tend to listen to my parents but it wasn’t them who told me to rest, it was Kevin and I never listened to him. “Okay, but only for a little while.”
“Yay!”
I made my way out of my room and into hers where I found her jumping on her bed. She looked just like the little girl that was in all those pictures. “Hey.” I said as I landed on her bed. It was still bouncy from her random jumps.
“I’m glad you decided to come and play with me.”
“Me too.” I was having my doubts though. Suddenly I wasn’t quite so comfortable anymore.
She finally decided to stop her jumping and landed on the bed right beside me, “Draw me a picture!” Belle placed her head on my shoulder as she said that and interlocked her arms into mine. BJ and I always did that. It was our way of always being connected, especially when she was afraid of something.
“What do you want me to draw?” I looked down to see that Chub Chub was replaced by a sketch pad. It was the same one I had found up in that secret room.
“I don’t know…make it a surprise.” I shrugged at her.
“Okay I guess, but no complaining if you don’t like how it turns out.” It was weird the way that Belle kept morphing into BJ. One minute I’d look at her and she’d be my sister and the next she’d be this other girl. The oddest thing though, is that I felt connected to both.
I started to draw a caricature of Belle/BJ. That was always what I drew best. In fact, if this music thing didn’t work out, I would have gone into art. As I drew, no matter what I meant to make, the sketch of what I had found earlier is what ended up on the pad; the one of the stairs with the number 13 on them.
“I wonder what that means.”
“I can’t believe you don’t remember silly.” I looked over at my sister who of course wasn’t my sister anymore and she was holding the teddy bear of death. Okay maybe that was a bit over the top but the thing did almost kill me, well according to Kevin anyway.
“What is it exactly?”
She smiled at me and stood up…giving me the sign to follow her, “If you come with me I’ll show you.” She said walking out of the room. Of course I stood up and followed and the next thing you know we were heading towards the attic…
“Nick…we’re home.”
“Leave me alone…dreaming…”
I felt another shake on my shoulder, “You can dream inside. I can’t carry you in there so please don’t make me try.”
I watched as Belle shrugged at me and then faded from my view as I slowly opened my eyes. “She was just about to show me something important.” I sounded testy.
“Don’t worry Nick; you can continue your wet dream once you get into your own bed.”
“Shut up AJ.” Yup, I was still testy and sore…holy mother of Christ was I sore! “Stupid Chub Chub.”
“Nick you kind of are freaking me out with the naming of the bear…”
“Sorry.” Kevin gently wrapped his arm around me and helped me towards the hotel. This was the time I was glad we were staying at one of those dingy run down hotels where you get in from the outside. No doormen and no screaming teenies waiting for us. I bet if there were, AJ would tell them all about what had happened and then I’d read about it on Live Daily where some crazy assed fans would say I was high at the time and then get on me because I wouldn’t take a picture with them even though I would have already taken about fifty gazillion with the same creepy stalkerish type girls. “Yup…still testy.”
“What?” Uh oh, I didn’t realize I said that last part out loud.
“Nothing…I am achy.”
“Here comes the whining. This is my favorite part.”
“Shut up AJ, the boy was hurt.” HA!
“I know, but I still have to bust his balls…sorry kid.” No matter how old I am…AJ still calls me a kid. And may I add that he’s the biggest kid I know!
We finally made it back to the rooms where I was thankful I’d have some quality time to myself. I needed to think this thing through. Maybe I could close my eyes and go back to where I left off in that dream. Kind of like an ‘I’ll be right back after this commercial break’ type of thing. Those hopes all faded away when AJ followed me right into my room.
“I got it from here dude.” I said hoping he’d get the hint that I wanted some alone time.
He moved past me and sat down on my bed. “Glad to hear it.” Okay then. I guess my alone time will be waiting…
“Goodnight guys! Nick if you need me…” Kevin winked at me from the door.
“Thanks Kevin.”
“Surely…I have something important to tell you guys tomorrow, okay?” He said that so seriously that I actually became nervous.
“Okay.” We both answered.
He nodded and closed the door, leaving AJ and I looking at each other kind of puzzled. “What do you think that’s all about?”
“Whatever it is, it’s something big.” AJ said as he reached over to my remote and put on the TV.
“Why do you say that?” Now I was even more worried. What if something was wrong with him?
“Because whatever it was, he tried telling me at the store and then again when we were waiting for you to get stitched up at the hospital. Both times he started then stopped himself, saying - never mind, now’s not the time.”
“You don’t think there’s something wrong with him, do you?”
AJ rolled his eyes at me like I had said something especially dumb, “Nothing like that…don’t worry.”
“Then what do you think it is?”
“I’m not sure,” He turned to me with a sinister smirk on his face, “Maybe he’s going to tell us HE killed someone and buried them in his house!”
“Shut up AJ, I’m being serious.”
His smile became softer when he saw how serious I was being, “Nick…relax.”
“How can you tell me to relax when you just said that you think he’s going to tell us something big?”
“Because your panicking isn’t going to change what he’s going to say. You know Kevin…once he makes up his mind about something, he doesn’t change it. You should stop worrying and try to get yourself some rest.”
“You think he’s made a big decision huh?”
AJ turned away from me and looked back at the TV screen nodding, “I think so…yes.”
My heart sunk instantly. I mean he has talked about it all through our last tour, that maybe this would be it for him. Kevin wasn’t happy most of our last tour. He said his heart wasn’t into it anymore and that maybe he thought it was time to move on. I really didn’t want to take him seriously. I remember looking over at Brian and when Brian looked back over at me I had stopped worrying about it. As long as Brian didn’t take him seriously, we were fine.
“That can’t be it, I mean if he was going to say something like that…wouldn’t he tell us all, and not just the two of us?”
“Maybe he already did Nicky.” Oh God…now he was calling me Nicky. That’s never a good sign.
“So you think he just kind of invited us out here to break it to us gently? Like we were still two stupid kids?”
“Maybe.”
“What the fuck? That’s the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard.” I stood up and was furious suddenly.
“Nick calm the hell down, I could be completely wrong.”
“Maybe we should just go and ask him right now.”
I headed for the door, “I don’t want to know…” That made me stop. “If it is true, then the longer he waits to tell us, the better it is for me.” AJ sounded like a child when he said that. Like a child who was waiting to hear about the inevitable breakup of their parents.
I put my head down as I turned and moved back to the bed. I felt the same way, there was no way I was ready for that kind of news. No way at all. I felt his hand on my shoulder as I sat beside him, “I don’t want this kind of change in my life…not right now.” I confessed to him.
“Me either buddy.”
I glanced down at the sketch pad that just a few minutes ago I was so intrigued with and suddenly just wanted to rip it up and throw it away. I did reach for it though and placed it in my hand, “Those stairs…” I said to myself more than to AJ, “those are the steps leading up to the attic.”
“What?” He looked at the picture, then at me.
I pointed to the steps in the sketch, “These steps are the ones leading up to the attic, I’m almost sure of it.”
“So?”
“Tomorrow, we need to go look in the attic.”
“What!”
“There’s something in the attic, I just know it!”
“Nick are you insane? I told you I do NOT want to explore that Godforsaken house anymore!”
“Fine, then I’ll do it alone as long as you distract Kevin.”
“Okay I like that plan better.”
“You know in most shows, that’s the part where the concerned friend or brother would say no way am I letting you go up there yourself Nick, it’s too dangerous.”
He chuckled, “Good thing we’re not in one of those shows then huh?”
He winked at me, but inside my stomach was in knots and not even about the house, more about Kevin. If anything, my quest was more about getting my mind off of what was to come out of Kev’s mouth than solving some deep seeded mystery. Truthfully I’d rather have him tell us he killed somebody then that he was leaving the group.
Is that wrong?
