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"I can't believe he tried to lecture me again about being nice to... her. Why the fuck should I? She's just a fan using Howie for his attention and money," Brian muttered as he walked down the streets he became so familiar with over the past couple of weeks.

New York had been one of their longest ventures, filled with publicity stunts, concerts, and Lord knows what else. Brian had lost himself in the shuffle of the business. Nothing seemed to matter as he became lost within his personal darkness. Not even making friends with the new love interest of his friend. Usually, he was the first to welcome someone to their tight knit family. But now, he could honestly care less. Sneaking a hand underneath his sweater, he stroked the newly raising scar that had just recently stopped bleeding. That one had been a little too deep.

Pretty soon he would have to figure out a different way to hide his daily habit as the weather grew warmer. Too warm for sweaters and long sleeve shirts. He wasn't into a lot of bracelets or huge watchbands. That was more AJ's thing.

He could start a bit higher on his legs. Near the thigh area. That seemed to be a pretty easy space to conceal, considering he always wore long shorts. Those short, track, almost suffocating shorts that caused a man's genitalia to split into two different sections. Shuddering at the mere image of any man wearing such a casualties, especially his friends. Though, he didn't have to think long as a hard force came running straight into his body, blowing him backward onto the gritty road of the park he had been traveling.

"Fuck me raw!" a woman growled with disgust.

"Why don't you watch where you're going?" Brian sat up and noticed the woman he had collided with was glaring at him.

"This asshole is walking down the center of the pathway, weaving all over the place, I step over that small garden fence jigger to avoid him, he still hits me, and I'm the one getting blamed," the woman muttered with disbelief, already gathering her heavily padded messenger bag which Brian assumed contained a laptop. She stooped briefly to gather a few flying post-its, then immediately straightened to brush back the fly away dark golden curls that had loosened from her long French braid.

"Maybe if you weren't in such a damn hurry, you wouldn't have--"

"Excuse me? It's called a job and I have a big meeting. As much as it disappoints me," she glared at him with piercing eyes. "I've got to go before I get fired. And next time, find somewhere else to walk so they don't have to deal with your nasty attitude."

"Why don't you stick the rest of that plastic dick you're swinging between your legs further in my ass before you leave," Brian scoffed.

The woman suddenly straightened in surprise at his blatant disregard for manners. And, she held no fear in her icy sapphire blue eyes as she stepped up close to him. Upon further inspection, Brian realized that the inner ring of her irises were a deep emerald that melted into the dark sapphire coloring. She had a light splash of freckles across the bridge of her nose and upper cheeks, barely noticeable unless one was close. The faint spray of elegant perfume mixed with fruity shampoo alluring his senses. Her lean body pressed close, her supple breasts pressing against his chest, reminding him what it was like to be with a woman. That is, till she spoke, "You wish I'd give you that time of day."

"Actually, I wish you would get the Hell off me. You're late for your 'meeting', remember? Can't have your pretty little face get fired," Brian mocked her, swallowing an animalistic desire building inside of him.

"I think you'd rather me get you the Hell off," she returned easily, bringing her thigh upward to make him aware of his growing erection.

"I think this is bordering on sexual harassment," Brian murmured, his breath catching at the feel of her thigh against him.

"It would be, if you weren't smiling so much," she finally laughed, slipping away from him as fast as she had collided with him.

"I'm not--"

"See you later, Cowboy," she turned around and left.

"I wasn't smiling," Brian declared loudly, almost attempting to shout it back to her, though he reached up to his face nonetheless. And, sure enough, he was smiling.

"Damn that babe was on fire, B!" Nick suddenly shouted from the bushes.

Brian whirled around and narrowed his eyebrows. "What the Hell are you doing here?! Are you following me?"

"I needed to see where you were going all this time, in case it was somewhere fun. I mean, being cooped up in that hotel with Howie getting all... Whatever on Stephanie... is boring. I needed to know what you were doing... So, call it... Stalking-no-trespassing-no-ah-er-friendly curiosity?" Nick attempted to explain as he tripped to sneak away from the large bush, sprawling onto his stomach in front of Brian.

"Friendly curiosity my ass," Brian rolled his eyes. "If I find out you went to Kevin about this I'll--"

"No Kevin!" Nick squealed, rolling to avoid Brian's foot. "I'd rather talk about that chick you bowled over!"

"What's there to talk about?"

"She was gorgeous!" Nick exploded as he stumbled to get to his feet.

"Nick--"

"You may have not noticed because you slammed right into her, but I got the full view! Dark gold hair. Blue-green eyes. Heart shaped face. Hot as Hell body. Those curves. Those tits--"

"That were probably implants. She's a random New Yorker and I'll never see her again. Let's drop it, alright?"

"Those are not implants. I know implants. They don't bounce when they walk. That little saunter in her hips. Bet she's a serious tomboy, but that little sway..." Nick whistled quite loudly as if she were a delectable treat.

"Thank God for your observing skills," Brian shook his head and began to walk.

"You mean like how I noticed your dick is rock hard?"

"Just stop following me, or I'll tell Kevin about the time you came back to the hotel with a stripper."

"And I'll tell Kevin about how you got hard at bowling a poor woman over."

"Don't fuck with me, Nick. I can make your life a living Hell."


~*~*~*~*~


"So, here is my question. How is it that you can just miraculously fall in love after barely meeting one another?" Nick questioned quite loudly as he galloped into the living room, flopping down on the couch with a large bowl of buttery popcorn. He grinned wickedly toward Howie and Stephanie, who were curled quite nicely on the opposite couch, Kevin in the corner, concentrating on the newspaper. And, Brian, trying to disappear from the world. Not that Nick minded, more focused upon Howie and Stephanie for the time being.

"How many times have you asked us that?" Stephanie glanced to Nick with a raised eyebrow. The man was like her younger brother and she loved him like one, but he had his annoying moments.

"I don't know. How many?" Nick questioned.

"Uh... too many!"

"Uh... Well, I was just figure, 'cause Brian--"

"Leave me out of your conversation, please," Brian snapped.

"What happened?" Kevin inquired wearily, raising his eyes from the newspaper. He immediately looked to Nick, who was grinning foolishly, then to Brian, who looked none too pleased.

"Brian met a girl at the park. Well, not a girl. A woman. God was she bangin'. Like I'm talking dangerous curves that you'd grip in bed while you're taking the ride of your life. She was so damn hot that B even got a hard-on--"

"Shut the fuck up, you fucking asshole!" Brian stood up, clenching his fists.

"He slammed into her like he was a damn football player! Started cussing her out and she dished it right back. Hell she even rubbed her thigh against his dick. That's when he got really hard--"

Brian launched himself at Nick, pulling him to his feet by the collar of his t-shirt. He smacked the younger man sharply upside the head. "What do I have to do to get through that thick skull of yours?!"

"Brian! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" AJ cursed in shock, immediately vaulting to his feet to yank Brian away. Kevin and Howie sat back in amazement, wondering when AJ became so authoritative.

"I told him to shut up! He didn't stop! Get the fuck off me!" Brian pushed AJ, allowing him to slam back onto the couch as he kept a hold on Nick.

"Stop it! Someone's going to get hurt!" Stephanie got up and tried to stop the argument.

"Don't," Howie blurted, reaching to grasp Stephanie by the waist, hauling her backward as Kevin vaulted upward to pry Brian's hands from Nick's throat.

"Brian, let him go! He can't breathe!" Kevin roared, finally releasing Nick from the deadly grasp.

"I'm sorry!" Nick rasped as he collapsed heavily onto the floor, immediately crawling away to claw at his throat for deeper breaths. "I was just kidding!"

"What the Hell is wrong with you?! You could have killed him!" Kevin grabbed Brian's shoulders and pinned him to the wall. "Calm down!"

"I told him not to say a fucking thing!" Brian growled as he fought against Kevin's hold, bucking his shoulders forward to pitch his cousin. Stumbling slightly from the freedom, he instantly recoiled like a rattlesnake about to strike, casting hateful gazes in every direction. "This whole group is fucking bullshit!"

"So strangling all of us if the solution?! How about talking to him like you used to? He listened to you before--"

"Before what? Before Leighanne destroyed my life? There's no turning back now, Cuz."

Kevin's jaw clenched. "You are way out of line--"

"You know what's out of line? Allowing him to follow me around like I'm on house arrest. I'm out of here," Brian stormed out of the room and slammed the door, going out on another one of his walks.

"Anybody know CPR?" Nick rasped through the thick tension.

"You'll be fine, you just need some water," Stephanie got him a bottle out of the fridge and she glanced at the other men. "Aren't you going after him?"

"And do what exactly? Get socked in the jaw again?" AJ grumbled, pulling himself onto the nearby couch.

"Maybe talk to him?"

"He gets pissed off when we do--"

"That's because you guys are so cruel--"

"If you think you can do better, then by all means, Stephanie, go right ahead," AJ scoffed. "You haven't been here the whole time. You don't know what it's been like with him."

"Maybe I don't, but I do know what he's going through," Stephanie went to find Brian... and hopefully help him.


~*~*~*~*~

Stephanie jogged across the busy street, quickly scanning passerby's for a certain blond man. He couldn't have gone too far just yet. So where was he? Why she was the one going out to search for him, she hadn't a clue. It was as if the men had given up hope on Brian. The one who had inspired hope in them to begin with. She had to reach out to him. She had to show him that someone cared. That he honestly wasn't alone.

"He's got to be around here somewhere..." Stephanie muttered to herself, her eyes widening when she saw someone stalking towards the entrance of a park. Blond hair. Black hoody with baggy blue jeans. "Brian."

Hurriedly checking the street, she danced between the cars and ran to the opposite side of the street. From there, dashed toward the entrance of the park, reaching to grab the man by the arm. "Brian, wait."

"How many fucking times have I told you not to touch me?" Brian snapped, yanking himself away from her.

"Fine, I won't touch you," Stephanie promised, holding her hands in innocence. "Can I just walk with you?"

"Whatever," Brian shrugged, resuming his pace.

"Why do you get so upset when someone tries to talk to you?" Stephanie inquired, stepping up her pace to keep with him.

"Gee, I don't know... Maybe because I don't want to talk?" Brian replied sarcastically, shoving his hands into the kangaroo pocket.

"Because you're afraid someone might try to understand you?"

"Don't even think about getting Dr. Phil on me--"

"I wish I could," Stephanie scoffed.

"You don't even fucking know me!"

"Well I'm trying!"

"Stop trying!" Brian turned around and she ran into his body, falling backwards. "I don't need you to know me!"

"Then what do you need?" she yelped in shock, the wind rushing from her lungs when she hit her backside.

"To be left alone! Why can't you people understand that?!"

"Because it's not like you!"

"You're a fan! How do you know this isn't me?"

"That's not fair--"

"You're right, it's not fair! Life's not fair! It's a bitch and then you die!" Brian leaned down and got directly in her face. "Not everyone is as lucky as you, to snatch up a Backstreet Boy by simply opening her legs and getting the whole world handed on a silver platter."

Before Stephanie could stop herself, she let a hand fly to connect sharply with the side of Brian's face. The echo was amazingly loud, actually startling her as her hand turned fiery with pain. But she remained still, glaring at Brian with honest disgust. "Maybe you deserved to be left if this is how you act. You're a selfish brat who doesn't know how good he has it!"

"Don't ever come after me again," Brian growled, refusing to hold his lip, which was indefinitely bleeding.

"It's not my fault nor anyone else's that Leighanne left you. That was her own choice and there's nothing you can do to change it. And you know what? You're damn lucky you have people who actually care about you!"

"They care about the career! Not me!"

"Open your fucking eyes, Brian! If they just cared about their careers, they--"

"Would do exactly what they're doing now!"

"What do you expect them to do when you punch, shove and choke them?!"

"TO BE LEFT ALONE!"

"Get out of my face!"

"No!"

"Fuck you," Brian sputtered for a lack of better words, turning on his heels to stomp off. He had never met such a pushy, overbearing, obstinent woman in his life. He wished her a Hellish death. Much like he wished Leighanne a hellish death.

"Running away won't help anything!" Stephanie grasped the back of his hoodie.

"Stop trying to choke me!"

"Funny, that was something your best friend was saying earlier!"

"Go to Hell," Brian snarled, pushing away.

Stephanie stumbled but kept her balance as she grabbed his shoulders and pushed him into the soft grass, quickly straddling his stomach. "I know you're hurting, but you can't live like this! If she left you, that means God wants you to be with someone else! Your soul mate!"

"I DON'T HAVE A SOUL MATE!"

"YES YOU DO! EVERYONE DOES!"

"And yours just happens to be Howie and you love flashing that around?" Brian spat, bucking his hips to get her off his body. He didn't understand why she was so stubborn.

"Yes, I believe its Howie," Stephanie dug her knees into his side. She was not going to give up. "I am not flashing ANYTHING around. I'm sorry if he and I are happy together are an inconvenience to you. If you would just get over her, you could be happy with someone, too!"

"I don't want anyone else!"

"You weren't meant to be with Leighanne! I know it hurts," Stephanie reached down and cupped his cheeks. "I've thought I found the one and all I got was heartache. But I kept looking and I found him. I know you can do it, Brian."

"Leave me alone," Brian heaved as every anger bead of stone surrounding his heart started to crumble. He shuddered underneath Stephanie's hold, turning onto his side as he did his best to fight a tender sob.

"Brian... sweetheart, it's going to be okay. Just let me help you."

"You can't."

"Yes, I can," Stephanie gently grabbed his wrists so he would look at her.

"Don't," Brian yelped, jerking his wrists away from her grasp as a tremble of pain raced through him.

"What? I barely..." Stephanie's eyes grew wide as she caught a glimpse of a thick scar. "Oh, Brian... please don't tell me you're..."

"I don't," he lied, reaching to pull her off his body and he stumbled to his feet. "Let's get back to the hotel before Howie misses you."

"Brian--"

"Let's go."