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Adrenaline was pumping through his body. He was on stage, the place where he felt most alive. The music was blasting, he was moving in perfect harmony with his band mates, and their voices worked flawlessly together. The crowd was cheering and screaming and dancing, he could see the moving mass of bodies sway with the rhythm. The lights were blinding him most of the time, but every now and then he could see a face standing out in the crowd. Whether they were singing along with the words, smiling or crying, they were the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. Oddly they never seemed as beautiful when he stepped off stage and went to sign autographs or take pictures and hug them. Of course some of them were still gorgeous, but not like this. Never like this. He took a deep breath to prepare for his solo, and belted like never before. The screaming increased, a mass of female voices rang through his head as he finished the song. The music faded away and he smiled down at the audience. A face that flashed before his eyes on the front row made him almost lose track of what he was saying. It burned in his head while he said his ending words to their audience.

"I don't really need to sing, do I? You guys are awesome!" They screamed again. "Thank you guys, you've been a gorgeous audience tonight! Goodnight ladies! Oh, and gentlemen of course," he joked and was rewarded with a laugh. He joined hands with his band mates and took a bow before walking off stage. He could hear the disappointed sighs as the lights came on in the venue, along with the massive applause.


When he came to the dressing room they shared he ripped off his shirt and crashed in an armchair. The others sat down as well, wiping sweat off their faces. It had been a rough night, and they were all tired.

"So how's that for a closing show?" the oldest one, Kevin asked, a smile on his face as he grabbed a Red Bull and gulped it down.

"Maaan... It was awesome! Can I have one of those?" Nick asked and nodded at the ice bucket filled with drinks.

"Here you go, man. Yeah it was great." Howie rolled his shoulders and threw a Red Bull at Nick, who caught it with a sigh.

"I loved every minute of it!" Brian laughed when Nick opened the can and got Red Bull all over himself. "How about you, Alex?"

He nodded. "We rocked."

"I'd drink to that," Howie smiled. "But not in Red Bull. I think what we need now is a toast in champagne." He grabbed the bottle out of it's silver cooler and opened it with a loud pop.

"Yeah, we'd better prepare for the party tonight. I'ma get really drunk and hook up with the hottest girl in the damn club!" Nick exclaimed as he took the glass Kevin handed him. "And it's gonna be so damn easy since Mr. Casanova here is taken." He nodded at AJ with a big mischievous grin. "Is Emily coming tonight?"

"Nope, she had to work, but hopefully she'll be there when I get home."

Kevin got to his feet. "Okay... To us, and to closing this tour, and to going back in the studio."

"To vacation." Howie smiled at his, in his opinion overly-ambitious friend.

"To love." Brian said as he got on his feet.

"To sleep." AJ smiled.

"To party and babes and..."

"Shut it, Nick!" Kevin couldn't help but laugh. He was so sick of living with Nick's pranks and adolescent comments, he couldn't wait to get home to his own bed and the quiet house, but this was the last night he had to take it for a while, so he felt generous. They all emptied their glasses.

"Come on guys. Let's hit the showers, there are beautiful women waiting for us out there!" Nick exclaimed, running laughing towards the shower to avoid Kevin's playful anger.


When they came to the club, AJ walked straight to the bar and ordered a shot of Jack Daniels. While he waited for the bartender to get him his drink, he looked around the room. The music was loud and the dance floor was already jammed with people. He saw Nick dancing with a cute, blonde girl with some of the skimpiest clothes he'd ever seen. He laughed to himself and shook his head. It was so typical Nick. And he sure did work fast. A voice behind him took his attention away from Nick, and he turned around. A girl was standing at the bar ordering a drink. He didn't see much of her, just a curtain of silky black hair that was so long it touched the small of her back. She was wearing a short ripped denim skirt and knee high stiletto heeled boots, and her skin looked like chocolate. He had to fight the urge to bite her. He shifted to get a better look at her, just as she turned to face him. She had on a black corset-type top that stopped to reveal a pierced belly button. He let his eyes slide up her body and look at her face. Even in her high heeled boots she was a good head shorter than him, he noticed as he looked into her eyes and forgot everything. It felt like he looked into her eyes forever, their deep brown color dazzled him, and when she stretched her hand out to introduce herself it took him a couple of seconds to regain his composure enough to shake it.

"Alanna."

"Alex."

She smiled. "I know. I was at the show tonight. It was awesome."

"Thanks. I... Were you in the front row?"

"Yeah. I stood in that line for twenty hours. It was totally worth it. And when I heard that you guys were having your party here, I just had to come."

"I saw you."

"You did? Cool! Well, you know, I've been a fan since the very first record was released in Europe, I was an exchange student there for awhile, and I just fell in love with you guys."

This was getting uncomfortable. 'Fell in love with'? That could be the first sign of a very stalker-ish person, he knew that. But his curiosity about this girl was forcing him to keep talking to her. "Really?"

"Yeah. You know, the whole concept of five cute guys singing amazing songs... I never really fell for the New Kids on the Block- thing. But you guys... And you. You were always my favorite. Ever since day one. I've read everything about you and all that."

"It's not all true, you know."

"I kinda guessed that when I read you were dying and paying millions to go to the moon and dating the Emily Griffin and all that."

"Emily and I are living together."

"You are? Wow. She's gorgeous. I love her in 'Santa Monica'. Hell, I love the entire movie."

"Yeah." He didn't feel like talking about Emily though, so he quickly changed the subject. "So, what do you do?"

"I'm a real estate agent. So if you ever need a house, you can call me." She smiled and pulled out a business card from her purse. "My private number's on there as well. If you want anything else. I gotta go now. But feel free to give me a call." She smiled as she walked past him, completely forgetting about her drink, and heading for the door. He remained standing there looking at the door long after she'd passed through it.


It was Nick who broke his enchantment.

"Hey! Did you see me with that girl? Is she the hottest one here or what?"

"Huh?" AJ turned his head and looked at Nick.

"The girl I was dancing with? She's in the bathroom now, and I'm supposed to get us some drinks."

"Oh, the one with barely any clothes on?"

Nick shook his head. "Man, being a couple has really got to you, huh?" He laughed. "There was a time when you still had your balls attached, and you loved those girls. Hell, you used to fight me for them."

AJ shrugged. "The times they are a-changing. Whatever."

Nick looked at his friend, completely bewildered. "What've you been doing?"

"Nothing. Waiting for my drink."

"It's by your elbow, and it has been for the last ten minutes," the bartender cut in with a smile, and threw her curly hair back over her shoulder. "You were busy, from what I could see."

"Oh." He blushed and paid for the drink, then gulped it down.

"Busy?" Nick furrowed his brows and sat down on a bar stool. "Tell me."

"It was nothing. I gotta go."

"You're going home? We've barely got here, and you're going home. Are you feeling well?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just gotta go." He walked out, leaving a completely confused Nick behind.


When he got out of the cab outside his house and saw the lights on, he expected the comfortable, cozy feeling of coming home, and coming home to Emily. They'd been together for a year and a half, and she'd moved in with him nine months ago. In the beginning he'd loved living with her. Loved the feminine touch she'd put on his house, loved having her around. But before the tour, and the few times he'd came home during it, he'd noticed a change in their relationship. It wasn't all moonlight and roses anymore, they'd fallen into a comfortable routine that incorporated sweatpants and take out in the couch, and falling asleep without making love first. Sometimes things had gotten so far that they'd argued, and that without any make-up sex afterwards, just a deafening silence. And now, as he stood outside the house, he just didn't want to go in. He'd do anything to get away from it, actually. He decided to take a walk, and steered his steps towards the beach. He sat down in the sand and stared blankly ahead. Inside his head was a ringing sound, soft at first, then stronger and stronger until it echoed in his head. Her voice. " Alanna. Alanna. Alanna. Alanna." He shook his head to try and get rid of it, but couldn't. He looked at his watch, and gasped when he saw the time. 4.30. he looked around, and saw that the sun was rising behind him, giving the waves that came crashing in a pink tone. He got to his feet and started walking home.

As he unlocked the front door he found himself wishing that Emily wasn't awake. He tip-toed into the bathroom and got ready to go to bed, then snuck down under the covers. The bed was warm from her body, and he put his head on the pillow with a sigh when she didn't show any signs of waking up.

When he woke up the next day the house smelled of coffee and pancakes. He got out of bed and walked downstairs. Emily was in the kitchen, singing along to the radio and eating her breakfast. She looked up when he walked in.

"Hey!" she greeted him with a smile.

He barely noticed her. Instead he walked straight to the coffee maker and filled the mug that she'd put next to it to the brim.

She furrowed her brows. "Okay? Are you hung over, or are we for some reason not speaking?"

He looked at her as if he'd never seen her before. "Oh, good morning. Did you say something?"

She repeated her first question, and he shook his head as he walked out onto the sun-drenched patio. As he sat down in one of his redwood chairs and sipped his coffee, he didn't see anything of the beautiful day. Alanna's face was burned into his head, and he saw it before him now, just as he'd done all night. He could hear her soft voice inside his head as he pictured her in the crowd at the show. "Looking at the crowd and I see your body sway..." he muttered to himself. "All of your time spent, flashes of light, wishing I could thank you in a different way, c'mon... everytime I'm down, you can make it right, and that makes you larger than life."

"I think I gotta call the asylum and have some men in white robes come to get you. Don't worry though, you'll get a pretty new shirt with buckles and all that." Emily laughed softly. "Why are you sitting out here singing?"

For the first time that day he heard what she was saying and laughed. "I just was inspired, that's all." He shook his head to get rid of Alanna's face, to replace it with Emily's blue eyes, blonde hair and tanned skin. She was the classic blonde beauty, a true California girl, who looked like she'd never done anything but surfing and lying at the beach. He was halfway successful, but that was enough to concentrate on what she was saying.


A week later he still wasn't able to fully get Alanna out of his head. It was causing problems at home, he was distant and grumpy, and he knew it. Her business card was safe in his wallet, and whenever he was alone he'd take it out and look at it. He'd already memorized the numbers on it. Emily was bothering him more and more. He couldn't wait until the short vacation the band was taking was over. She was starting the shooting of a new movie the same day as their first meeting was scheduled. He looked at his watch. Only a couple of hours left. He couldn't wait to see the boys again, he hadn't had any contact with any one of them. They rarely had right after a tour. A couple of intense months on buses and planes was usually enough to make them never want to see each other again, at least not for a couple of weeks. But after some time had passed, they usually couldn't wait to see each other again. Emily walked into the room and sat down on the couch next to him.

"Honey... Are we ok? You've been acting really weird this week."

"Yeah. We're ok, I guess. I've just been tired from the tour."

"You know, you had me wondering... The only time you've acted this way before was those times you know..."

"You think I've been cheating on you?"

She shrugged, a shadow of pain flying across her face. "How would I know? The last times I found out from the press. I don't wanna see another paparazzi picture of you kissing some random slut, and I don't wanna be asked those embarrassing questions by the tabloids. I don't wanna be made fun of by Entertainment Tonight. If you've done something, please tell me now!"

"Emily, I haven't done anything like that. I was stupid before, yes, but I haven't done anything wrong since that last girl."

"The one you fcuked in our bed just a week after I moved in with you?" Her eyes were ice cold.

"That one, yes. Look, we've been through this before." God only knew how many times. "I told you I'm sorry, I promised it'd never happen again. I don't know what else you want. I gotta go take a shower and prepare for our meeting today." He got to his feet and left her sitting on the couch.

When she heard the bathroom door close she let her tears fall. "I want you to love me. To say you love me and mean it, with that smile that was only for me," she whispered before walking quickly towards her bathroom.

AJ took his Porsche to the meeting with the boys, and came just in time. Happy to see his friends, that were more like brothers to him, he greeted them all with hugs. They all talked at the same time to tell what they'd been doing since they last saw each other. Nick's news that he had in fact scored with the blonde from the club, not once, not twice, but "like seven times" were drenched by the fact that Brian had proposed to his girlfriend, Leighanne.

"She said yes. So we'll get married sometime within the next year." He was beaming.

"Congratulations, man!"

"Thanks guys. Well, enough about me and my beautiful fiancée ok? How about talking about this new album?"

"Anyone got any ideas?"

"I do. I've got this song burning in the back of my head, and it could be awesome. I just need your help." AJ sang the lines he'd been humming the entire week.

"Hey! Awesome Alex! That sounds like... A song for the fans!"

To AJ it was a love song. Alanna's song. But when Brian put the words in another context, and Nick took out the guitar, it made more sense. And it could still be his private little love song for her. That it was wrong to write love songs to another girl when he was supposedly happy with the most stunning movie star at the time didn't bother him.

When they'd finished the song he looked at his friends. "It needs a name."

"I think we should call it 'Larger Than Life'. That's what they are, at least to me, and we need to tell them that." Brian looked at him, sensing something more behind it.

"That's what they are," AJ agreed with a nod. 'That's what she is,' he thought to himself.