"Baylee Thomas Wylee, if you don't stop whining right now," Natalie warned with a harried sigh as she entered the kitchen, attempting to calm a fussy Zachary as Baylee continued to tug on her jeans. Wincing as his whines continued to grow in an effort to drown out Zachary, she opened the refrigerator to locate a bottle. "You hungry, Zach? Baylee, please--"
'That's my cue to haul ass,' Alana thought with a cringe as she wrapped the slightly damp towel around her neck, moving behind the island in attempts to escape. Perhaps she could take a quick nap with Nick before he awoke again. Whatever the case, she wanted to get away from the shrill screams and petulant whines.
"Alana! Please, can you help me? Baylee needs to go down for his nap, I can't get Zach to calm down long enough for me to get two arms to put Baylee down and--" Natalie cut off as Baylee jerked the basket of juice boxes out of the refrigerator, actually banging her head against the door in defeat. "Baylee…"
"I can take care of Boogie--" Alana's sentence halted to its ultimate conclusion when Zachary was dumped into her arms so Natalie could seize up Baylee. Her entire body tensed with an uncomfortable strain as the screaming infant writhed in her arms, reminding her why her relationship with Nick was ending. How she hated the painful worries of parenthood, wanting to shift him back into Natalie's arms. But the pitiful cries seemed to cause her heart to ache as she hurriedly shifted him against her shoulder, murmuring softly into his ear. "Zachie… What's with all these cries, Good-Looking? Tell me what's wrong?"
"Him's a 'melly baby," Baylee informed her with a dark scowl as Natalie stooped to pick up the juice boxes. "An' he puked on my favorite blanket--"
"Bay, please go sit with Daddy in the living room while I get this mess clean?" Natalie implored, a hint of desperation in her voice. "'Lana will get Zach to calm down and take a nap if God loves me, and while she does that, you are going to take your nap--"
"I don't want'a nap," Baylee whined loudly, stomping one foot in annoyance. It seemed every time during the past three days that he had sought out Natalie for snuggling, Zachary was in her arms. Always needing a diaper, a bottle, a burping. Furrowing his flaxen brows as he grunted in frustration, he stomped his foot again, this time smashing a juice box.
"BAYLEE!"
"I think you better clean that up," Alana suggested toward the tyrannical toddler when Natalie stooped with a wet rag. Feeling Zachary calm significantly on her shoulder as he slobbered and gummed her bare shoulder, she caught Natalie's hand to take the rag from her. Then, stooping down to Baylee's level, she offered him the rag. "And you really need to apologize to Natalie for being so mean to her. Your Daddy ain't going to like that much. Nobody wants to see you be a little monster."
"NO!" Baylee shouted. "I NOT A MO'NT'ER!" he declared, storming from the kitchen.
Natalie offered Alana a tense smile as she took the rag once again. "And Bumpkin's expecting me to give him another one of those," she sighed as she knelt down to clean the mess. "Sometimes I wish I could just… Well, you know."
Shaking her head, Alana watched as Baylee stomped off into the living room to complain to his father, completely ignoring her chastising. Moving to sit at the island once more as Natalie furiously scrubbed at the floor, she heard the soft grunt Zachary gave against her shoulder. Gently supporting his head and backside, she pulled him from her shoulder and held him out in front of her so they could see one another. Seeing him sniffle pathetically, Alana cooed softly as she brought him into the crook of her arm, tenderly brushing away his tears. "You just needed Baylee to stop squawking in your ear, huh?"
"That makes two of us," Natalie muttered as she threw the sopping rag into the sink. Smiling when she heard Zachary's soft coo, she turned to see him snuggled so securely in Alana's arms. Alana looked perfect holding the child as she murmured pleasant things to him, rocking him gently to and fro as he continued to sniffle. "Bay's just jealous of Zach… I can understand that… I just wish that Brian would--"
"Get off his ass and give you a hand?" Alana finished with a knowing glance.
"You can be just so eloquent…" Natalie murmured dryly, though her lips turned upward into a small smile
"Why sugarcoat?" Alana questioned with a shrug of her shoulders, patting Zachary's diapered backside as she slid from her seat. Moving to the fridge, she easily tucked him into her opposite arm as she retrieved a previously concocted bottle of formula. Popping its cap, she slid it into the microwave for a few moments before lifting Zachary to her face to smother his cheeks with kisses till he squealed. She acted as if he were any other patient in her hospital, though the natural instinct of motherhood radiated from her.
"…Can I ask you something?" Natalie inquired softly, retrieving the bottle and checking the temperature before recapping it. Handing it to Alana, she pulled herself up to sit on the countertop, fiddling with the hem of the t-shirt she wore as Alana busied herself settling down to feed Zachary.
"When have you ever needed permission?" Alana returned in bewilderment, glancing up toward Natalie till Zachary grunted at her. Smiling softly, she offered the plastic nipple to the boy, chuckling softly when he sucked greedily. Gently patting his behind in a soothing manner with the hand beneath him, she moved her free hand to sweep the curls from her face. That is, till Zachary caught her index finger and pulled it toward his cheek. Fighting the swell of pride in her heart, she looked to the seriousness of Natalie's face. Suddenly, she had a sinking feeling to her heart as she thought back to when Natalie confessed being intimate with Nick. "...What?"
"Are you really going to leave Nicky 'cause he adopted Zach?" Natalie questioned softly.
"…Who told you that?" Alana murmured after an uncomfortable pause, immediately biting down hard on her bottom lip to keep her emotions at bay. It seemed even the mere mention of the finality of her relationship with Nick brought a stir of painful tears to her eyes, especially as the infant in her arms cooed happily between sucks. She wanted so badly to continue her relationship with Nick, but she wasn't sure how it could be possible. She didn't want the heartache of children. The risk of getting so close to another human being and having him wilt away. It was better to end it now, before Nick did anything drastic.
"Brian did… How can you do that, Alana? He loves you so much, and--"
"He has a child that needs a good mother, attentive mother that's going to love and adore him," Alana interjected softly, avoiding all eye contact with Natalie as she dropped her gaze to the beautiful child nestled so comfortably in her arms. "A mother that's not afraid to love him with everything she has in her…"
"You can't let your past heartache get in the way of your happiness now," Natalie noted in a gentle tone.
"I don't want children."
"So you're just going to walk away from Nick because he adopted Zach?" Natalie questioned incredulously as she slid off the counter. "Of all the--"
"It's not fair to either of them for us to continue in a relationship--"
"Have you told him about Colton yet?"
"There's never been a right time in our relationship for me to just blurt out that I was the sole cause of my child's death."
"How in the Hell--" Natalie cut off with a deep sigh, attempting to calm herself down. "How were you the sole cause?"
"Half of my genes produced that child and I was entrusted to care for him for nine months. Somehow, in those nine months, I did something to cause that heart defect. Maybe I didn't get enough prenatal vitamins or I ate something or…" Alana shrugged helplessly as she blinked back a rapid flood of painful tears. "Then when he was born, I listened to his heart and he was perfect. I thought he was perfect. I should have heard the murmur. Should have known that something was wrong--"
"My God, would you listen to yourself? You're blaming yourself for something you had no control over. Has it ever occurred to you that your husband may have passed that on? That maybe, just maybe, heart troubles ran in his family?" Natalie implored, jerking a can of soda from the refrigerator.
Alana flinched with an overwhelming tide of isolating depression. Moving to stand, she held her breath to keep the sob from breaking in her throat. "I don't need your criticism nor your lack of compassion--"
"I'm not criticizing, I'm just trying to understand--"
"You're jumping down my throat and I don't think it's possible for you to ever understand what it's like to have your child die in your arms..."
"I'm not jumping down your throat, I'm just trying to get you to understand that just because it happened before doesn't mean the one that's in your arms isn't going to," Natalie sighed, raking a hand through her hair as she heard Baylee's distinctive shriek from the living room.
"Well, excuse me if I don't take to your abrasive attitude and suddenly and miraculously change my ways like I'm in some storybook romance," Alana mumbled, shifting Zachary back into Natalie's arms. "I've got to go take care of Nick and check up on him."
"Fine," Natalie muttered, turning Zachary onto her shoulder so she could rub his back gently. As Alana yanked a bottle of juice from the refrigerator, she groaned, leaning against the island. "I'm--"
Alana never bothered to hear the end of Natalie's statement as she walked toward Nick's bedroom on the first floor, vaguely recognizing the sharp screams from Zachary as Brian hollered for Baylee to get upstairs in the bathroom immediately. The craziness just didn't seem to be worth the suffering in her heart. At least, not now. Perhaps not ever.
Glaring down at the bowl of chicken noodle soup Alana had placed on the tray on his lap, Nick shook his head. "Can't I get some real food?" he questioned with a slight whine, pushing his spoon through the broth and noodles. Every few hours Alana forced him to chug down fluids, regardless of the fact that all he wanted was a good, cheesy pizza. "I mean, this is good, but… It's…"
"Not a gooey, messy, cheesy pizza?" Alana guessed accurately as she sank into the large, plush recliner Nick had bought for the corner of his room. Folding her arms around her own queasy stomach, she watched Nick wrinkle his nose with distaste at her selection of food. He had just woken up from a significantly long nap and his fever had finally broken into a mild temperature. She hoped that this was the stage of the game where he would start recovering. Well, at least his body if not his attitude. Because then perhaps she could go back to her own house. Chaos was running rampant in the Littrell household. "…Just hold down that broth and stuff for a few hours then I'll try to get you something better…"
"A gooey, messy, cheesy pizza?" Nick requested hopefully, reaching for the stack of saltines next to the bowl. "And maybe a nice, ice cold… Delicious… Bubbly soda?"
"If you don't go running to the bathroom spewing at both ends again… Yeah…" Alana agreed, drawing her knees up to her chest to brace her stomach. She was thankful that Nick seemed in better spirits today. Healthier even.
"…Maybe later, I can see Zach?" Nick questioned tentatively before dipping his head to begin eating. He missed the baby, though he received updates on him every few hours from Baylee, who was only allowed to stand in the doorway.
"Yeah, that should be alright," Alana agreed, mixed feelings stirring about the infant laying somewhere within the household. It was a bewildering sensation to adore a child yet fear him so much, especially when Brian had tapped on the door earlier in the morning to say he couldn't keep the child from fussing. She had fed him his twilight bottle and soothed him back into a peaceful sleep, almost wanting to tell Brian that she would keep him with her for the rest of the day. But, Colton's laughter sprung from somewhere deep inside her and she quickly relinquished hold. "He misses his Daddy like crazy. That's for sure…"
"Not as much as I miss him," Nick decided with a sigh. Part of him longed to spend the rest of the day snuggled with Alana and Zachary in the bed. Wishing that, somehow, Alana would decide that she did want another child. Or, at the very least, open up and give Zachary a chance before pushing him away. "Come sit with me?"
Alana glanced away from the portrait of Nick and his siblings on the wall at his request, somewhat stunned at first. She thought about opening her mouth to decline the invitation, but decided that she'd rather relish in what little time she had left with him. Pulling herself from the recliner, she moved toward the bed as Nick abandoned his lunch tray, having already gobbled down the soup. He then reached for her hand before she could move around to the opposite side of the bed, helping her crawl over top of him so she would be closer. "What do you need?"
"You," Nick whispered, wrapping his arms around her before tucking his face against her neck. Breathing in deeply, he smiled at the aroma of her, a mixture of baby powder, formula, and the light floral fragrance of her shampoo. Realizing that she had been spending more time with Zachary than she had let on, he bit back a grin, lightly kissing her neck. "I just need you, Beautiful."
"I'm glad you're feeling better," she confessed, trying her best to control the shiver that overtook her body at his light kiss. Rubbing his shoulder with an affectionate squeeze to his bicep, she rejoiced in the coolness of his skin. For a fleeting moment, she thought she actually was going to have to take him to the Emergency Room for treatment. "You were so miserable, Handsome…"
"You're an excellent nurse," Nick informed her with a sigh, shifting her over him until she snuggled closer, her head resting on his chest. "…Even though, I was probably the bitchiest patient ever…"
"You ain't kidding," Alana confided as she slipped a hand underneath his t-shirt till her fingertips brushed the bare skin of his chest. "You didn't want nothing from me and you didn't want anything to do with me."
"Really? I must have been really sick," Nick sighed, his fingers trailing through her hair as he stared up at the ceiling. He was still amazed that she had come to take care of him, after the way things had been when he had taken Zachary to her house. He had felt she wanted nothing to do with him, which had hurt much more than the flu that had wrecked his body.
"Like a dog," she confirmed in her usual southern twang, nestling her cheek closer to his chest so she could feel the gentle pulsations of his heart. "Y'know it's bad when AJ comes busting down the door while I'm stripping for you, yanks me out of the room, and you just fell right asleep."
Nick raised one eyebrow, attempting to remember what she was referring to. "…He what? I did? I didn't… No way--"
"I asked you if it was alright and you said, and I quote, 'fine,'" Alana interrupted with a soft laugh.
"Well I'll be goddamned… See? Told you I was really sick. Must have been at death's door," Nick sighed dramatically, reaching to pull the comforter over them so they could snuggle properly. "But I guess it's okay… Ain't like AJ's stupid enough to put the moves on you with Brian and Nat around…"
"Exactly," Alana confirmed simply as she shifted to drape one of her legs over his, sneaking her bare foot underneath the cuff of his pajama bottom to lightly stroke his calf. What Nick didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
"I love you, Beautiful," Nick murmured, kissing the top of her head as he reached to thread his fingers with hers. "I--"
"I love you, too," she promised, leaning up to brush a soft kiss against his lips, the first she had given him in several agonizing days.
"Promise?" Nick whispered before allowing the tip of his tongue to trace her lips. Tightening his arm around her waist to bring her even closer, he groaned upon hearing the sharp wail of his son from the living room. Breaking the kiss, he sighed.
"'LANA! THAT THING WANTS YOU!" Baylee bellowed.
"Y'know, I never really thought that children had a nasty side to them. I mean, yeah, attitude, which was fine and I could deal with it, but… Baylee is the holiest of terrors ever since you adopted Zachary. Like this evil Gremlin jumped into Baylee's body to impersonate him," Alana explained with a groan as her body tensed at Zachary's agonized cries. She hated hearing him sound so desperate, especially when she knew she could calm him. Reaching up, she pressed a light kiss to Nick's lips as she moved to climb off the bed.
"He's adjusting?" Nick suggested with a sigh, sitting up to watch her throw her hair into a messy ponytail. He found it amazing that she so easily slid into the nurturing role for Zachary. "Thanks, Beautiful… For taking care of both of us--"
"No need to thank me," Alana promised as she fussed with her form fitting tank top for a moment before leaning over to kiss him once more. "It's called the compassionate side of being a nurse."
"If you insist," he whispered as she slid out of the room. Leaning against the headboard, he reached for the remote, more than ready to find a good, gory movie to occupy him until her return.
"Up to some company?" Natalie questioned suddenly from the doorway.
"The Daddy Defender?" Nick announced with a lopsided smile, resting the remote on his chest as he watched Natalie linger in the doorway. Knowing he'd have to wait for Alana to return to start the movie, he nodded and motioned for her to enter. "I suppose I could spare some consciousness for you."
"Daddy Defender?" Natalie repeated with a roll of her eyes, entering the room. Pushing the door shut behind her, she moved across the room, glancing to the stack of clothes on the chair before looking towards the bed. Sighing, she flopped onto the bed next to him, making herself comfortable after placing the empty bowl on the nightstand. "How you feeling, Nicky?"
"Better than when I first came here," Nick admitted as he glanced down at Natalie curled amongst the pillows he was saving for Alana. Though, on second thought, he decided, Alana fit far too perfectly on his chest to waste her to pillows. Grinning suddenly when he heard the abrupt stop of Zachary's shrill cries, he reached to shake Natalie's shoulder lightly as if he didn't have her attention. "How long has she been taking care of him?"
"Since he was abandoned at the hospital…" Natalie trailed in confusion, fluffing the pillows up slightly. Chuckling when he groaned in irritation, she propped herself on her elbows. Impulsively, she reached to brush the stray locks of hair from his forehead, knowing that part of her would always want to take care of him in some way. "Since three days after you got here, Nicky. Zach's fine when she's holding him or in the room with him, but it's like he senses when she leaves. Your son's got quite a set of lungs--"
"He loves her," Nick murmured with a soft smile of recognition. "…How does she act around him? How's she look?"
"Huh? She looks like Alana--"
"I knew this smartness wouldn't last," Nick groaned as he pushed playfully on Natalie's forehead. "I mean how does she act around Zachary when she's holding him? What's her facial expression when she's holding him? Y'know, the stuff she refuses to tell me because her bastard of an ex-husband stole her kid…"
Natalie bit back the urge to tell Nick the truth about Alana's ex-husband and child, instead busying herself with smoothing the comforter. "She's wonderful with him, Nicky… I can't really describe it. When she's got him in her arms she gets this glow… She loves him, I'm pretty sure. They look so natural together…"
"Then… I don't have to worry about her leaving me in the next couple days?"
"I…" Natalie faltered slightly, glancing over to see the hopefulness in Nick's eyes. Glancing towards the TV, she took a deep breath. "I don't think she could leave Zach…"
"So, I'm not even part of the equation anymore?" Nick chuckled nervously.
"She loves you, Nicky. I think you are the equation."
"You know… When you're not busting my balls… I kind of like you…"
"Gee, thanks… And when you're not blurting to Brian that you, quote, 'popped my cherry', I kind of like you too," Natalie muttered.
Nick immediately frowned. "Excuse me, Miss Thing, but you're the one that fucked that up first, bonding with Alana over some stupid pedicure shit. She wouldn't look at me straight for days and just got all distant anytime I mentioned you--"
"She's my best friend, I wanted things to be open between us," Natalie interjected, twisting the edge of the sheet between her fingers.
"By getting her to almost dump me, thanks, Nat--"
"Why would she dump you over me?"
"Because apparently sleeping with my lover's best friend isn't exactly kosher."
"It's not like it happened two weeks ago--"
"Thank God!"
"Oh, bite me," Natalie grumbled, shoving his shoulder when he began to chuckle.
"Why Brian reveled over the fact that you were a virgin, I'll never know. You were clumsy, ill-prepared, and--"
"Gave you several toe-curling orgasms," Natalie finished, rolling her eyes playfully. "Don't think my left ear's ever gained back all its hearing."
"You do think that maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't be having this discussion in Brian's house when he could walk in at any moment and catch the tail end of a very disturbing conversation?" Alana announced as she stood in the threshold of the doorway, Zachary babbling excitedly against her bare shoulder as he nibbled at her sweet skin. She had just thought momentarily that Nick might enjoy having Zachary. He had been free of symptoms for a long while. His infective period had ended. Though, seeing Natalie curled so happily on the bed that she and Nick had made love on seemed to cause the nausea to return even if she forced herself to remember that they were merely friends.
"Oh," Natalie breathed, leaping off the bed with a hard blush. Glancing towards Nick, she gave him a slight wave. "I'm glad you're feeling better, Nicky…"
Nick offered a small smile. "Thanks, Nat."
"I was just going to drop off Zachary. You can stay in here with them," Alana offered, feeling uncomfortable that she had interrupted something. If anything, she could now go home and get a nice, hot shower and have some space.
"No, it's okay, really--"
"You haven't gotten to spend time with him since he's been sick. If anything, I can go home now and you can stay with them," Alana insisted as she walked toward the bed, easing Zachary away from her shoulder to place in Nick's awaiting arms.
"But don't you want to…" Natalie trailed as Alana leaned close to offer Nick a soft kiss.
"Can't hardly try to top you in the sex department when he has his son in his arms," Alana explained as she smoothed Nick's wild, platinum locks, deciding it was far better to joke about the situation. If anything, she was still on the outs with Natalie after their previous conversation about her past life.
"Be careful, Beautiful," Nick murmured, leaning up to kiss her again. Grateful to be holding his son in his arms once again, he offered her a smile. "You're coming back, aren't you?"
"In awhile, maybe," Alana answered offhandedly, just needing some space from the entire household. "I'll call you later before I decide anything."
"Okay… I love you, Beautiful," Nick whispered, sighing when she pulled away. Glancing up to watch her, he noticed the tense look between the women. Confused, he began to question what was wrong, but the coo of his son drew away his attention. "Hey there, Son…"
"Ahh," Zachary seemed to explain as he thrust his hands up toward his father, attempting to crane his neck in search of Alana. He offered a small grin when he caught a glimpse of her fading into the hallway, then puckered a bottom lip as his body tensed. "Ma…"
"Did he just say Ma?" Natalie squealed, leaping back onto the bed. Leaning close to Nick, she gently smoothed Zachary's wispy raven locks. "He's so beautiful, Nicky…"
"Ma…" Zachary attempted to call again, erratically flinging his hands toward his head as if to brush Natalie's hands away. His cobalt eyes heavily implored his father as his face contorted to a look of distress. "Ma…"
"She'll be right back," Nick promised softly, turning Zachary onto his chest. Gently rubbing his back, he smiled as he felt him begin to relax. "She loves you, Son… I know she probably hasn't told you, but she really does, I can tell."
Pulling away, Natalie glanced towards the door, feeling as though she were intruding on a private moment. "…I'll just go--"
"You can stay if you want," Nick offered. "Unless you want to go cuddle up to Brian and Baylee?"
"Baylee's received an old-fashioned talking to and was sent to his room, and Bumpkin's gone outside to play basketball," Natalie explained softly. "But you and Zachary need some--"
"Hey, Natalie! I need your help on something downstairs!" Howie suddenly bellowed, popping into Nick's bedroom to observe the trio. Smiling slightly, he nodded toward Nick. "Glad to see you feel better, Nicky."
Nick tensed when he felt Zachary startle, immediately cooing softly to soothe him. Waving distractedly at Howie, he looked over to Nat, a playful smirk pulling the corners of his mouth. "Go ahead, Nat. He probably just wants a body shot or two…"
"You're not funny," Natalie muttered with a scowl, pushing on Nick's forehead just as he had done previously. And when he smiled toward her, she did the same, hurrying to follow Howie's footsteps.
