Chapter One
What was the best time of your life?
When I met you.
Her expression was priceless. He could have sworn it was one of bewilderment. But why was she bewildered when he was the one betrayed?
“Howard!” she screamed but in the rush of the city, her voice was lost to the depths, along with his soul.
Such pain, such unbearable pain that engulfed him so strongly and gripped at his heart and tore his insides apart so fiercely he could not even squeeze tears from his eyes even if he said he wanted to cry. He almost couldn’t breath let alone move. He was paralyzed as she rushed to him for seconds. Then his body’s paralyzed state dissolved and he was in bitter agony. The thought crossed his mind that he could hit her but it wasn’t her fault, it was his. It was always his. So he decided, he’d end it. Right then, not quite right there but close to it. He turned and stormed away. She started down the sidewalk as she yelled his name again. He never saw her struggle briefly with him but he did somehow hear the clicks of her heels as she ran down the sidewalk after him.
“Howard!” He felt himself break into a run toward the beach. He felt so stupid, so vulnerable, so bare and naked to the world. It was like everyone was watching him, like everyone knew what was going on and at the same time, no one cared.
“Howard!” she yelled. He hated that name. He was tired of hearing it. He was tired of hearing her. He was tired of the city’s song and the city. He was tired of the ocean and its never-ending site of blueness stretching for miles. He was tired of being out of sync and he was tired of feeling vulnerable. He was tired of feeling childish. He was tired of being nice. He was tired of being him. He was tired of life and she was part of it.
When he climbed on the grey platform he felt that the world watched. A cool breeze had started and it was as if something wanted him to jump. This time, he wouldn’t fight it no matter how hard he hated it. He’d let himself sink and suck it in filling his lungs to capacity till they burst, just like his heart.
He didn’t look back when she screamed his name. He heard her scream when he let himself fall. All he heard was air as he fell to the ocean. He watched it approach quicker than he thought it would and opened his eyes. No matter how mad he was he was scared when he hit the water. He held his breath and wondered if it would hurt when he let go, when he gave up. He wondered briefly if this was what he wanted as he floated down and decided to let go. Decided to give up. He decided that this would be for the best. Not just for him, but for her. She’d feel bad eventually but he figured she’d lean on him and they’d pair well. Of course she could remember how they came together but sure, that’s what partners, lovers were for. To care when you felt bad, to know before you ever spoke, to breathe life into the good parts you thought were dead.
She was absolutely beautiful. A small blue dress that hugged her body that wasn’t perfect. She was a little on the baby fat side but she sucked it in as much as possible to feel skinny. Her red curls were pinned on top of her head that night when she walked in holding the small blue purse that matched her ocean blue dress and fake ring that she had decided added a hint of a finish onto her outfit with red heels that matched her hair and spoke of her personality more than she knew to him.
He felt so silly in his a white ruffled shirt and khakis with black flips flops on.
He gave her a small wave from the door and her smile lit up the elegant restaurant he had insisted they go to promising he would pay because he wouldn’t feel right if he didn’t. She walked over and he quickly pulled the chair out for her smiling enough to give her a peak at his teeth.
Thankyou.
You’re welcome.
You have beautiful eyes, she laughed, don’t compliment mine back because it’s old now.
That, her weird sense of humor had started off the night and it had ended in the most romantic way to her, to him.
What was the best time of your life? she said as she entwined her fingers from her purse into his leaning against his shoulder sighing softly.
When I met you. he replied and she stopped. He stopped and looked at her fearing the worst. When he looked in her eyes there were tears as she dropped her purse to the ground. Her hands gently pulled his face to hers and her lips brushed against his. She then leaned her head against his chest in the dark parkway shading the way partly by trees.
