Friday, October 15, 2001

       The arena was alive; we had gotten through the first half of the show. It was the last night on home soil. Sunday afternoon we were off to New York for two concerts in response to September 11th and then, we’d finish off in Japan. I sprinted to the left wing of the stage, waiting for my cue. I felt a hand snake it’s way around my waist.

“You wanna show Vegas how to get hot and heavy?”
Alex’s breath teased my neck. His plush lips fell to my shoulder, kissing the exposed skin. The band’s interlude was coming to and end.
“What did you have in mind?” I asked. I knew he’d want to change it up.

The bass pumped, the intro to “Shining Star” swelling around us. The first thirty seconds were ours. It’s funny, but the routine to that song mimicked our lives exactly. Alex and Nick each had me for merely seconds each, the three of us battled through. Especially now, since Alex had just come back from rehab. Alex took my hands and fixing his microphone, his mouth curled up.

“Just follow me,” he challenged, pulling me onto the stage. Our bodies moved together through the remains of the intro. Hips touching hips, hands caressing…gliding over every tangible inch.

    Baby, when you do things you do
    I wanna be close to you
    ‘Cause I need to feel your every move
    Oh, oh…
    Baby, I can never say how much
    I need your touch…
    I can’t get enough….

***

I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked down the hall, out to my bus. The show was a great rush; Vegas had always been good to us. We’d be heading off to Japan on a high note…or at least I would.

“AJ!”
I turned to see Nick jogging towards me.

“What’s up, Nicky?”
“I just wanted to tell you that you were awesome tonight, man.”
“Thanks, dude. A compliment from the amazingly talented Nick Carter means a hell of a lot.”
Nick laughed.
“Nah, I’m serious AJ. For a while I thought we’d lost you, but you pulled through, man. It shows,” Nick replied, sincerely. I patted him on the back, smiling.
        “It’s good to be back, Nick. It’s real good.”

***

 As I stepped out of the shower, I heard the bedroom door open.
 “Baby?”
 “In the bathroom, Nick.”

     I smiled to myself. I had ordered room service just before my shower: Nick and I were in dire need of alone time. I wrapped a towel around myself as I felt a cool brush of air hit me. Nick was standing the doorway.
 “Brian and I are going out. You don’t have to wait up.”
 “Nick! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I thought I did?!”
    
I rolled my eyes, walking past him into the bedroom. He did things without thinking and I was always the last informed. Welcome to our lives! If we weren’t fighting, we were making up, and if we weren’t doing either, then we were apart. It was times like these I remembered the promise he had made me almost a year earlier; he had said he could give me what Alex couldn’t. It was times like these I wasn’t so sure…but it wasn’t like I could anything to change that. Alex was with Sarah.

“Don’t wait up… Do I look like your mother Nick?” I sighed, rummaging through my suitcase for my favorite jeans. “I thought we could spent tonight alone. I ordered room service.” I found a thong and my bra and pulled my jeans on. I walked past him again, grabbing my make–up bag. He reached for me, but I pulled away.
“Just take a shower, you don’t want Brian to leave without you.”
    Nick kissed my shoulder.
“I’m sorry babe...”
“You can’t just casually forget to tell me you made plans, Nick. We’ve barely have time to ourselves since we started dating… Just wait until your fans find out,” I noted, exasperated. Nick laughed at the thought and wrapped his arms around me, pressing his chest into my back.
“My fans love you – they’re just like me, they can’t take their eyes off you during the show.” He turned me around and kissed me. “We can spend the rest of our two days in Vegas locked in this suite. Just you and me…in bed…making love…” He held me tighter, bringing me closer to his warm body. He took my bottom lip into his mouth, deepening the kiss. My body begged to stay, but I couldn’t just put it all behind me like I did every single time we got into a fight. I pulled away.

Damn him.

“Just go, Nickolas.”

He walked into the bathroom and not another word was spoken between us. Seconds passed, and I heard the shower running. I sighed, letting out a breath I didn’t now I had been holding. I finished getting dressed and called room service. When I was sure I had everything, I wrote Nick a note and left it on the bed. I had to get out of there.

***

Minutes later, Chanel stepped out of the elevator onto the floor above her and Nick’s; she walked down the hallways until she reached the door marked Suite 9. She knocked softly and Alex opened the door with a slightly surprised expression masking his face.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” she replied. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
“No! Of course not!”

He opened the door to her. She looked him over, blushing slightly at the fact the he was only wearing a pair of worn out jeans – sans shirt and socks – his freshly bleached out hair was damp. His goatee was precise, the rest of him cleanly shaven...his olive skin, precious as gold reflecting back into her deep brown eyes. He smirked; he knew what she was thinking.

“So, what’s up?” he asked, sitting on the bed. He patted the empty space next to him, inviting her over.
“Are you hungry?” she quipped.
    Alex laughed.

“Yeah, I could eat…”
“Good, ‘cause I ordered food and it should be here like any minute. I thought we could celebrate… ya know, with tonight’s show going so well…”
“No. You didn’t."

“Huh? Yes I did! I---”
    Alex put his finger to her lips. He looked her in the eye.
“Babe, you and Nick got into a fight because he didn’t tell you that he was going out with Brian. So, you told him he could go out even though go planned this big romantic dinner. And now, you’re here…”
“How the hell---”
“I had just gotten off the phone with him before you got here. He told me everything.” She looked down at her hands. Just then, there was a knock at the door. She moved to get up, but he stopped her.
“He doesn’t know I came here,” she whispered.
 “I know. I’ll get the door.”

Alex came back pushing a cart full of plates and trays. Chanel laughed watching him struggle; she went to help him pull the cart to the dining area of the suite.

“Damn…how much food did you order?”
1“Enough for the next two days,” Chanel teased, mocking Nick’s tone from earlier. Alex chuckled, not giving it any thought.

They sat next to each other, suddenly feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the amount of food in front of them. Alex noticed the large bowl of strawberries and warm chocolate in the center of the table almost immediately; he reached for one and dipped it in the chocolate, coating the tip of it. He put the fruit to Chanel’s mouth, she took it willingly as his eyes relished on the sight of the deep red fruit within her pink lips. She figured he would stop there, then, she saw him do something she definitely wasn’t expecting: he swirled two fingers into the chocolate and brought them to her mouth.

His voice dropped to a rasp and without a word she took his fingers and licked them clean. Their gaze intensified; he was right, he had her…he always had, since the day they met. They had each other completely, heart, body, and soul. Yet, the world kept them apart…and would continue to for years to come. Alex withdrew his fingers from Chanel’s lips as she moved over to capture his lips with her own. They melded into each other, no words were spoken. They didn’t have to be. Yes, both of them were hurting two people that loved them unconditionally, but they loved each other beyond unconditional love. They were soul mates, no one could argue it. They couldn’t fight it.

     Alex caressed Chanel’s cheek, moving closer to her as the kiss deepened. She sighed, feeling her excitement build as she pressed against him. He wrapped his arms around her, taking her into his arms. Without breaking their kiss, he carried her across the room to the bed. Lying her down, Alex pulled away breathless. He moved over her and snaked his hands beneath her top, tantalizing her lightly kissed, mocha skin. He pulled the material off her body, capturing her lips once again. She arched her back, her hips pushing into his.
“I love you,” he murmured against her lips.
“I love you,” she sighed as his kiss moved to her neck and his hands proceeded to remove the rest of her clothing.

    The two spent the rest of the night making love and soft conversation. They ate occasionally, but for those few precious hours time was no object. All that mattered was their time together; all they could do was cherish every second until daybreak.