The lights in the bar were dimmed when she carried her velvet red guitar onto the stage. It clung to her by way of a black strap decorated by buttons of various things and events. More of advertisements for products then messages. Her guitar was covered with stickers and her hair was highlighted in red over her natural brown. She sat down on the stool provided for her. She brushed hair from her face and sighed. There was soft chatter in the bar as cigarette smoke fluttered from the low tables. She adjusted her guitar and began to strum gently. The music dropped and rose like a sad inspirational song and then she began to sing.
“I can not blame you for simply not loving me. But I can blame you for failing for giving it a try.”
Her voice began in a simple sad tone and her lids fluttered shut in an effort not to cry. She knew he was here, somewhere in that stretching darkness that consumed the back of the bar. She knew he was back there smoking his Marlboros with his chipped black painted nails and raspy voice she had always loved. She hated him for it; his beautiful, sensitive soul but feigned male aurora that he tried to play. She saw his heavy beauty through his cinnamon eyes and sly grin that hung on his thin pale pink lips. She saw through that thick smoke that danced around him from his mouth and nose. She had watched him glide from girl to girl and when he had said no, it was like a stab to her. She knew she was overly sensitive but she knew she was better than them.
“I think you’re sorry but you’re sadly not as sorry as I am. You could have warned me, said “Don’t fall in love with this man.”
She opened her eyes and it was almost as something instinctively pointed her sharp eyes in his direction. It was almost like a light shining from the ceiling, more like beaming that directed her gaze toward him. There he sat starring as she strummed her guitar. She pushed a small smile to him as he starred at her.
“Cause although silently said. It was loud enough and too clear that my mother’s words were mistaken once again. They never do come back. They never wave a warning sign saying, “Don’t fall in love with me.”
She strummed the guitar for a second before the next verse. She looked down and watched her fingers gently glide playfully off the strings. Looking up, she leaned into the microphone. He was still starring at her. She didn’t see what he was thinking. He was too far away and it was way too dark to see his eyes or his full facial features. She just knew it was him like a mother would know her child.
“Give it some thinking and weigh your words carefully. I never believed the saying you should let the one you love free.”
If was like something died in her when he said no. They were walking slowly at night down the canal when she had asked.
“ Why do you do that to yourself Alex?”
“Do what?”
“The chicks you dig man are nothing. They’re disgusting. Every time they come you’re all over them. Why can’t you settle with a decent girl?”
“Like who?”
She grinned shyly, “Me.”
“Your eyes said you want me. Your face looked the truth. But truth would have told me that I shouldn’t fall in love.”
She let herself cry. A tear would only emphasize that this wasn’t just a gig, this was a life hanging in the balance. This was a heart torn from a word, a soul lost and discouraged. She was almost desperately scared to ask him and beg for him to give it a try. Just once would be nice. She admitted she’d been embarrassing at the party not so long ago. Actually a day ago and she had stormed out. He had left several messages on her answering service. Drunk driving was illegal and it could lead to up to 6 months in jail but she hadn’t thought then. She was happy. She felt free from restraints of life and she was ready to have sex with the man she truly loved. She was a virgin but A.J. was the man she would truly feel comfortable losing it to.
Ajia.” She slurred as she stumbled drunkly toward him hanging heavily on him. “I’m so fucking ready!” she said holding a plastic red cup half full of brown liquid. He grinned and took it away from her.
“You’ve had too much to drink. Later guys, I have to escort this beautiful lady to her house.” They were a few grunts and comments that he laughed about before he started to pull her from the party.
“Go out with me A.J.” she never saw the look on his face or the hesitation in his eyes.
“I won’t and I can’t Jon.” He said. She leaned on him knocking him on the couch. They both fell and she was on top of him stroking what she thought was the side of his face. But A.J. had three faces so she really wasn’t sure but who cared, at least to her.
Laughing, she was in his face. He could smell the beer on her hot breath mixed with the light smell of fragrance from a cheap perfume. “I love you Ajia.” She said loudly in his ear. He pushed her gently off of him onto another couple who didn’t really appreciate it and Jon ended up on the floor with her feet in the air and everyone saw the teddy bear panties she was wearing underneath the short jean shirt she wore. He helped her up by pulling her to her feet. He straightened her shirt.
“I don’t want to go out with you Jon.” He said as she steadied herself on him.
“Cause although silently said it was loud enough and too clear that my mothers words were mistaken once again. They never do come back. They never wave a warning sign saying. “Don’t fall in love with me.”
”What do yous man you don’t want ta go out wit mey?” she yelled. He began to pull her from the party and she violently ripped her arm away.
“Jon,”
“Why won’t you go out with me!” She gripped his shoulders and started shaking him. He shoved her hard into the couch and she yelped falling back into the couch. The couple sat up giving him a glare but nothing more.
“I said I won’t. You’re a mess.”
“Bitch, you’re a mess!” she yelled stumbling to her feet and shoving him. She continued to push him toward the wall. “Yous want me doncha.” She said giggling hysterically. “You’re just hard to play cuz you be after those hoe goldigger chicks. I know ya AJia.” She said winking her eye as she shoved him hard against the wall. She made him grab her butt with his hands and she smashed her lips against his hard. She tasted of sweet beer and cigarettes. He broke the kiss and took his hand back. He pushed her gently back. Grabbing her arm he began to pull her out and she ripped away from him again. He grabbed her arm again more forcefully. She screamed and slapped him hard,
“Ya don’t want mey! You’re a fucking fag boy! You’re a fag boy!” she screamed in his face. She ripped her arm violently and she started shoving people from her way as she stumbled outside quickly.
“Jon!” he yelled. “You don’t mean that.” He ran to her and she kicked him hard between the legs and slapped his face.
“Get tha fucka’ way from mey!” she fell in her car and barely got the engine started. He screamed curses at her as her car sped from the parking lot.
“For the sake of this hopeless fool. Would you pretend to having loved me, like I do? It’s so lonely realizing that I’m the only whose been waiting for two, waiting for two.” She sang closing her eyes again as her voice danced over the words softly, smoothly, “Cause although silently said, it was loud enough and too clear that my mothers words were mistaken once again. They never do come back. They never wave a warning sign saying “Don’t fall in love with me. Saying, don’t fall in love with me.” She repeated and then she sand a sweet long “Oo.” At the end that faded the song. There was polite applause and she began strumming the guitar as a figure in the back quickly grabbed his worn leather jacket the color of Jon’s brown dark eyes and exited the bar.
Author's Chapter Notes:
this story will be completes lol. I have one chapter left to write on my computer. html didn't work out on here so most of it's italisized (or whatever that word is) Lyrical credit given to my friend Ama. She used to be a fellow bsb writer and now an aspiring songstress.
http://www.freewebs.com/ama-music
or
http://www.myspace.com/amamusic
http://www.freewebs.com/ama-music
or
http://www.myspace.com/amamusic
