Sumimasen. Fisshu baagaa wa arimasu ka.
There was a small orange flash in the system tray. CConnor1357... It had been too long, but... Should it be opened?... Yeah. Forget Japanese... It was him...
CConnor1357 (8:15:44 PM): I'm ready to talk, if you will listen
crystalkaos (8:16:38 PM): Hi. Of course I'll listen.
CConnor1357 (8:20:10 PM): I don't feel like we have anything in common anymore
CConnor1357 (8:20:49 PM): We were coexisting, only because of our history in highschool, and the only thing keeping us together was that...and how we thought we knew each other
CConnor1357 (8:21:09 PM): but in all actuality, we really had no idea what was going in each others lives
CConnor1357 (8:21:28 PM): and that night it became apparent
CConnor1357 (8:21:39 PM): I was angry
CConnor1357 (8:21:48 PM): and then I thought for a while
CConnor1357 (8:21:56 PM): and that's what I came up with
crystalkaos (8:22:32 PM): I know you were angry.
crystalkaos (8:22:42 PM): I never meant to hurt you like that.
crystalkaos (8:23:13 PM): It's true, we didn't talk much anymore.
CConnor1357 (8:23:23 PM): well we talked but about nothing
CConnor1357 (8:23:28 PM): nothing important anyway
crystalkaos (8:23:30 PM): I know.
crystalkaos (8:24:10 PM): What I meant was, our innermost thoughts and things.
crystalkaos (8:24:46 PM): That somehow we either felt they needn't be said or that they were better kept to ourselves.
crystalkaos (8:24:56 PM): And that's bad in a friendship.
crystalkaos (8:25:05 PM): Which is what I think you're trying to say.
CConnor1357 (8:25:10 PM): I think we both thought the other person knew...but in a way we were both in the dark
crystalkaos (8:25:21 PM): I agree.
CConnor1357 (8:25:36 PM): and then when I brought it up, the rift was revealed
CConnor1357 (8:25:38 PM): sadly
crystalkaos (8:25:51 PM): I can admit fault for that.
crystalkaos (8:25:58 PM): Really, I should not have acted in the way I did.
crystalkaos (8:26:31 PM): I firmly believed, and still do, that people should only say what they feel most comfortable saying.
CConnor1357 (8:26:35 PM): Don't worry about it...if you would have told me something like I did, I would have freaked out
crystalkaos (8:26:48 PM): I wasn't going to make excuses for what I did.
CConnor1357 (8:26:59 PM): You don't need to, I understand
crystalkaos (8:27:48 PM): But like I said, I take full responsibility for that and it is no fault of yours.
CConnor1357 (8:28:15 PM): You're reaction was, but I helped cause the reaction, we're both responsible equally!
crystalkaos (8:28:35 PM): Right, but I should have in no way reacted in that way.
crystalkaos (8:28:55 PM): I mean, after all, what I was trying to tell you was that I did a similar thing in middle school, so...
crystalkaos (8:29:04 PM): But, in the end it didn't seem worth bringing up.
crystalkaos (8:29:10 PM): At the time I mean.
CConnor1357 (8:29:19 PM): well you freaked on me
CConnor1357 (8:29:23 PM): and then it was over
crystalkaos (8:29:29 PM): I know.
crystalkaos (8:29:34 PM): And I felt badly for that.
crystalkaos (8:29:50 PM): I in no way ever feel that you should tell me anything you are uncomfortable talking about.
CConnor1357 (8:30:05 PM): well I thought I was comfortable to tell you it
crystalkaos (8:30:10 PM): Because what I always wanted was what was best for you, you know?
CConnor1357 (8:30:13 PM): and it turned out we both weren't ready for it
crystalkaos (8:30:18 PM): I know, and I gave you a poor reaction.
crystalkaos (8:30:23 PM): And I felt very badly about that.
crystalkaos (8:30:35 PM): And then I acted childish about breakfast which was completely idiotic.
crystalkaos (8:30:46 PM): I just pulled some fucked up stuff.
crystalkaos (8:30:50 PM): And I'm sorry for that.
CConnor1357 (8:31:08 PM): don't worry about it
crystalkaos (8:31:17 PM): I didn't really mean to hurt you.
CConnor1357 (8:31:33 PM): It's fine, really it is.
crystalkaos (8:31:39 PM): Or make you feel like you had made a poor decision.
CConnor1357 (8:31:50 PM): well...that's alright
crystalkaos (8:32:50 PM): I just made a lot of mistakes that night, none of which were fair to you.
CConnor1357 (8:33:12 PM): it's fine don't worry about it, it's over
So… That’s it, huh?
CConnor1357 signed off at 8:39:24 PM.
She did it without thinking. The contents of her desk shook with the sudden movement and a lone pencil hit the floor. She picked it up and set it back on her desk, its stark black and blue coloring contrasting against the wood. Her face felt hot. She rose her hand to it quickly and wiped away the stray black streaks from her cheeks. Yeah… That was it. The door opened quickly and hit the back of her chair. The soft gray padding provided a cushion for the shock, but she still jolted from her slouched position.
“Sorry!” a female voice exclaimed. She shut the door slowly, to prevent it from slamming. “I’m happy I can make you sit up straight, but you don’t have to sit so close to the door.”
She shrugged it off and continued to stare at the screen.
“Bekk?”
Not even a blink. Her eyes remained glued to the screen.
“Sorry, were you typing something?”
It was over…
“CConnor1357? Isn’t that… CONNOR?!?!”
The chair spun around quickly. Her legs flailed slightly at the sudden movement. Her eyes clenched tightly, trying to keep her stomach from lurching. She grasped the sides and looked up. “Jess…”
“You talked…”
She could feel her bottom lip quiver. What did that matter? The corners of her eyes stung as she finally blinked. The streams of black flowed down the contours of her cheeks. Her tears burned as she quickly turned her head. Warm arms held her tightly, almost a comfort to her shattered heart.
“It’s okay to cry.”
It was a low sound, almost inaudible. But it increased in tone. A shattering wail. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she had not even come to grips with yet. Why? Why!?!?! Everything she used to see vividly seemed to shatter before her eyes like glass. It was over.
“Bekk…”
She wrapped her hands around the edges of the chair and stood.
“Bekk?”
She pushed her away lightly and wiped the back of her hand across her face. She opened the door with a snap and switched on the deadbolt. Her jeans brushed against each other as she walked briskly down the hall. She thrust her fist against a second door.
“Yes?” A brunette head peered through the doorway. A tanned hand clapped against her mouth, “Rebekkah?”
She smiled, “It’s fine, Taryn… We’re going out tonight, right?”
“Yeah…” Taryn nodded, “If you’re up to it…”
“When am I not?”
“But…”
She smiled.
“Okay… Just let me finish this phone call.”
“It’s fine,” she waved, “I’m taking a shower.”
Taryn shut the door and she walked back to the room.
It’s over… Well… Fuck that. Let’s party.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Welcome to the first chapter, if you're still here, you'll probably be surprised that this isn't a fantasy story and instead is based very much in reality. Please enjoy one of the first non-fantasy stories I'm sharing. Please treat it kindly. ^_^
