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When we got out the door Nick was the one to talk first.

“D, listen if you don’t want to do this just say so,” Nick told me, “I won’t be mad.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you it’s just that…” I started.

“‘I hold a responsibility to the club and it’s more important to me then you are’.” Nick finished for me.

“No, no,” I stammered, “it’s not like that.”

“Then tell me what it’s like D,” Nick replied.

“I, I, I don’t know right now,” I stammered, “it’s, it’s, it’s just all too soon.”

“Look, it’s not like I’m asking you to run off with me so we can get married and have kids,” Nick explained, “I just want you to come be there with me, that’s all. It’s not asking too much, is it?”

“It’s not asking too much, it’s just that…” I replied.

“I know it’s just too soon,” Nick interrupted, “like I said before it’s not like I’m asking you to get married, unless that’s what you want. Is that what you want D?”

“No but…” I started.

“But what,” Nick interrupted, “is it that don’t love me?”

“No it’s just… AJ,” I answered, “I don’t think all the guys like me.”

“Of course the guys like you,” Nick replied, “Did you know they helped me ask you out?”

“No,” I stammered, then thought quickly of a comeback, “but what about AJ? He seems to hate me.”

“That’s because AJ doesn’t know that we’re going out!” Nick yelled.

“You didn’t tell him,” I asked sounding shocked, “I guess Jessie was right, I guess you don’t appreciate me.”

“AJ hated the fact that all the papers wanted us to go visit your club, he thought that gave him reason to hate the people in it too,” Nick explained, his temper rising, “I didn’t tell him because I thought maybe he’d come and kill you or something!”

I gaped at Nick, I didn’t know what to say.

“I care about you, I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Nick told me, “And I still love you, I just don’t love how you make up all these excuses for why you won’t come. I mean if you don’t want to just say so, I really won’t be mad.”

I stood in silence. I didn’t know whether to tell him that I wanted to go or not, because in truth I didn’t exactly know what I wanted.

While I thought about this I saw the expression in Nick’s face turn from soft to hard, I knew by the expression on his face that I had pushed the limits, he probably hated me now.

“Fine!” Nick yelled.

“Fine what?” I asked.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know,” Nick told me, “in fact why don’t you, why don’t you go run of with that kid Matthew.”

“I don’t know a kid named…” I started.

“Or why don’t you tell Carrie that you’ll never leave here even for a month because she’s your best friend and you’ll never leave her!” Nick interrupted.

“No, no…” I started.

“You know what, I don’t care anymore! You can have your stupid club in stupid Colorado! And you can stay and work your club meetings! I’ll be fine without you!” Nick yelled and stormed off.

“Nick! Wait! No! It’s, it’s not…” I started.

I then realized that he was too far ahead of me and that he couldn’t hear me. I just sat down where I was and cried.