“Sick.” I muttered after splashing water on my face. My face was beyond pale and I looked like death warmed over. I was relatively okay when I woke up this morning, but the more I woke up the more I started to get nervous. Then when Nick told me about the live feed I freaked. I guess it was the thought of not knowing how everyone was going to react to all this. I was almost shocked at how hard this was effecting me. I never threw up from being nervous and actually, I rarely even got nervous. Even back in highschool I had pretty big parts in school plays and I never got nervous. But of course this was different. I had just come out of hiding with a guy that was presumed dead and the truth was just getting announced to the whole world.

By the time I made my way back to the couch the conference was over. That suited me just fine cause I didn’t know if I could watch much more of it, not to mention there was nothing left in my stomach. People started filing back into the green room and I noticed Brian duck into the restroom, not looking any better than I did. Then Nick rounded the corner and I pang of guilt hit me. He looked a little overwhelmed as he came over and sat on the couch that I was curled up on.

“You ok?” I asked quietly.

“Peachy.” He muttered.

I hung my head. “I’m sorry, maybe I should have gone on so you wouldn’t have been as alone or something.”

Nick looked at me and then smiled. “Like I wanted you puking on me. It’s okay Lizz, it could have gone a lot worse.”

“I guess.” I said reluctantly. “Is Brian okay? He looks like shit run over twice.”

“Thanks.”

I know I turned red and Nick smirked at me when I looked up to see Brian standing over me. I scrunched up my face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, well you do, but...”

“You didn’t mean for me to hear it.” Brian finished with a smile.

I laughed. “Yeah. Are you okay?” I scooted over so he could sit down too.

“Yeah, glad that’s over with. My nerves are kind of shot with this whole mess.” He sat down on the other side of me.

“No joke, I got sick like four times and I never do that!” I exclaimed.

“Wuss.” Nick teased.

“Shuddup doorknob.” I elbowed him in the side.

We both cracked up and Brian looked as us funny. Of course that made us laugh harder. A long time ago during one of Nick and I’s online conversations he jokingly called Brian a doorknob. I about fell off my chair I started laughing so hard. Honestly, I don’t really know what was so funny about that, but I thought I was going to split my sides laughing. Ever since then that word would sneak into my vocabulary. And of course whoever I would call a doorknob would bust up too just cause it sounded so funny.

“You don’t wanna know.” I gasped between laughs.

“You’re probably right.” Brian shook his head at us.

“Well, you look a little better. You got some color back at least.” Kevin observed, a somewhat amused smile on his face as he strolled up.

“Color?! Try beet red!” Nick observed.

“Shuddup already!” I elbowed him again.

Kevin glanced at Brian and they both shook their heads like we were totally crazy. Who knows, maybe we were.

“So, Nick, where did you have in mind for a vacation?” Kevin changed the subject.

“I dunno, somewhere far far away.” Nick shrugged.

“That helps. I think that’s a good idea though, we all need a break. Figure out where y’all want to go and we can start making the plans for it.” Kevin suggested.

I looked at Brian and then Nick. “O--klahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plai--” I started to sing.

“Ugh!” Brian groaned as Nick clamped his hand over my mouth. “Lizz, don’t even go there or I might just send ya there on the end of my foot!”

I awoke with a start. My eyes scanned the room somewhat frantically, but I relaxed when I realized that everything was okay. My attention caught the 3:29 on my alarm clock and I groaned. These nightmares weren’t slowing down at all. In fact they had almost gotten worse. Every night I dreamed that Marcus came back. Sometimes it was Terri and scenes of the plane crash. Or what Marcus almost did to me. I knew I was safe now, but tell that to the dream demons. Even during the day it haunted me sometimes. At least I didn’t wake Nick up this time. I had already woken him up four times in the past week since the press conference.

I sighed again. The past week had been a long one. The world was pretty much in shock to discover that Nick had never died. Then the fact that I had gone into hiding with him raised a lot of questions. The reality of what Nick used to tell me a long time ago had hit full force now. About how your life is totally aired into the public and there are no secrets. Although, no one knew about Nick and I sharing that kiss. Or the few that had followed after that. Neither Nick, nor I mentioned it and as far as I knew, the guys didn’t even know anything about it. I think we were both having fun with it, being sneaky and actually getting away with it. I knew we were going to get caught eventually, but for now we just pretended like nothing was happening. Of course, people had their suspicions.

I was playing around on Nick’s computer just a couple days after the conference and I started surfing around some fan sites. Some of the ones I used to check out occasionally were still running so I checked them out. I nearly died when I saw a picture of myself. I yelled out some obscene words and Nick burst through the door seconds later. One look and “oh shit.” I couldn’t believe some of the information people had managed to gather on me and the whole situation. We must have surfed websites for hours, repeating “oh shit” many times. The worst was one girl that had a friend that worked at an American Eagle in an Oklahoma mall. The friend claimed that she saw the incognito-Nick and Lizz shopping one morning. I thought Nick was going to completely flip out, but then I noticed there was no mention of his seizure. That made us both feel a little better. The main topic whenever both our names were brought up was what was going on between us. Nick seemed to be a cross between frustrated and amused. I was just overwhelmed.

The rest of the week was full of interviews and trips to the PT for Brian and Nick, not to mention about a million other things. I had always known they had psycho hectic lives, but now I really appreciated it. Health-wise we were all doing a lot better. Brian was stronger every day and was in good spirits. Nick was still a little sore where he was shot and still under restrictions of what he could lift, but he was doing a lot better too. His voice was still pretty scratchy sounding, but it too, was sounding a lot better. I caught him singing one day in the other room and I must have just stood on the other side of the door for almost an hour listening. The cut that ran across me was looking better. The doc said it would probably scar a little, but in time it would fade so it would barely be noticeable. I had just gotten the bandage off of it and I was enjoying that new freedom. The bruises from getting smacked were nearly gone too and I was almost starting to feel normal again.

The best and probably most patience-trying thing about the week was trying to decide on a vacation place. Everyone had suggestions and then reasons why a particular place wouldn’t be a good idea. Nick and I both argued for a beach. I knew the ocean had the same peaceful effect on both of us. That was one major drawback to living in Oklahoma. I used to bitch almost weekly about it to Nick during chats. “I need an ocean,” I would say. Finally everyone settled on Fiji and I thought I was going to die. I had always heard about how beautiful it was there.

3:58 Too early to wake up Nick? If I valued my life, I’d let him sleep. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to go back to sleep. Today was the magic day. Today we were going to Fiji. Nick and I went shopping already to get approriate clothes. Actually I went shopping while he moaned and groaned about having to carry my bags. After the first store I was ready to go home, but Nick gave me the bread-box look and ushered me into another store. I guess I wasn’t quite used to being able to buy more than just a few articles of clothing at a time. College students didnt exactly enjoy shopping sprees very often. Our suitcases were packed and by the front door already. My backpack was on the floor by the bed waiting for a few last minute things. I had just bought it from the Gap and it was ocean green and waterproof. Nick had asked me if I was going swimming with it. Smartass.

Sleep was totally out of the question so I parked myself in front of one my 6 windows. The sun was getting ready to come up and I couldn’t think of a better way to start a totally perfect day. I couldn’t help but sit there and grin like an idiot. As stressful as the week had been, I had a lot to be thankful for. Everyone was okay, Nick was letting me stay with him, and we were going to Fiji!

Finally, the sun shining bright in the sky, I couldn’t wait any longer. I ran and took a quick shower, dressed and wrapped a towel around my wet hair. Then I went to the kitchen and set the coffee on to brew. Back up to Nick’s room and of course there were no signs of life coming from the other side of the door. I grinned evilly. This was going to be totally unexpected. He knew full well of my incoeherence in the morning and my inability to get up early without major help. What he didn’t know was the one thing that could easily wake me up and have me in a great mood was a vacation. All growing up, the morning I would be leaving to start a vacation, I was wide awake and beyond excited. This morning was not an exception. I rubbed my hands together, almost feeling little red horns poke through my head.

“Time to wake up, Nick.” I whispered.