"What do you want with me?" Lana wanted to know. "I ain't never done nothing to you!"

"Oh, but you have Lana," April sneered. "You were just too damn young to remember it. Thanks to you, I lost my job at the six o'clock news."

"Why thanks to me?" Lana questioned. "How could I have gotten you fired?"

"Donnie didn't want to give you to the police after your family was murdered," April rambled carelessly. "Said you were too young to remember what the killer looked like, and wouldn't remember your family after awhile anyway, so what was the point? The point was, I could've gotten a nice huge raise, and the corner office I always dreamed of. But nooo. He didn't care about how it could help me, he only cared about what was best for you. And because he kept you, I was accused of lying to the cops, charged a huge ass fine, and lost, not only the corner office with a promotion, but my job as well."

"Then it's Donnie' fault, not mine," Lana pointed out. "I didn't do nothing."

"If it weren't for you wrapping Donnie around your frigin' lil' finger, not only would I still have my job and promotion, but I'd still have my best friends!" April growled. "I wouldn't have been forced to move to California, though it's not as cold there, and I have met David Hasselhoff because of it."

Lana's ears perked up. "You met David Hasselhoff?" She asked in disbelief.

April nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"Oh my God!" Lana gasped. "I love David Hasselhoff!"

"Quite a cutie, isn't he?" April said, smiling slightly. "Him and David Charvet."

"David Charvet's cute, but I prefer Billy Warlock and Jeremy Jackson," Lana gushed. "They're my faves after David Hasselhoff, along with the guy who plays Cody Madison, David what's-his-name?"

"Oh, yeah, him," April acknowledges. "He's a real hottie."

"Good, she's becoming distracted," Lana thought. "Maybe if I keep her talking about Baywatch she'll forget why we're here and someone will have come to rescue me by then."

"And what about Jaason Simmons' accent?" April gushed. "Aww. Now there's an accent to love."

"Yeah, I guess so," Lana said, shrugging slightly.

"What? Don't you think he's a nice accent?" April demanded suddenly.

"Yeah, but Brian Littrell has a nicer one," Lana told her, then smiled proudly. "He's from Kentucky, you know."

"Australia is by far better than Kentucky," April snapped. "And I don't give a damn about some stupid, pathetic, can't-sing-worth-shit Backstreet Boy."

"He's not stupid or pathetic!" Lana cried. "And he's the best singer ever! Him and Elvis!"

"Oh, God, another crappy singer who got fame they didn't deserve," April guffawed.

"They deserved it!" Lenore shouted. "Why? Who do you like?"

"Mc Jagger," April replied. "Him and Smashing Pumpkins, along with Tea Party."

"Well, you can stick with your 'rock', and I'll stick with my pop/rock," Lana retorted.

"Don't you mouth off to me!" April yells, slapping Lana across the face. "How dare you!"