The snow sparkled pure white in a solid, unbroken blanket over the ground, the trees, and rooftops. In the frosty wonderland, it was quiet, and nothing stirred.
Except her.
She hated school, hated that she was still in school. What had she been thinking going to graduate school? Who needed a Master’s degree anyway? And in psychology of all things. Not her. No way. Except that she was in graduate school for her Master’s in psychology because she’d wanted to be.
“Did anyone hold a gun to your head, you idiot, and tell you that you had to go to grad school?” she muttered to herself as she trudged the distance from the driveway to her tiny house. “Of course not. You did this to yourself, Gennie.” And she’d have to deal with the fact that she wished that she could just forget about being a professional anything and just stay home. Preferably under the covers. “Ha. Fat chance.”
When she pushed open the door, a comfortably fat, ginger-colored cat sauntered down the hall from the kitchen and purred loudly.
“Luna, not now. Mommy’s exhausted.” But she bent and picked the cat up anyway as she headed towards the kitchen. At this point in her life, Luna was one of the truest friends she had. She put up with her owner’s antics, whether it was the frustrated textbook-throwing at three in the morning or the times when she got drunk alone and danced to everything from Madonna to Jay-Z. Luna was very good at tuning these times out.
When the phone rang, she answered after suppressing a groan. “Hello?”
One overly caffeinated best friend bubbled over at the other end. “Gennie! What are you up to? Are you back from class yet? I was thinking about going out tonight. You just have to come with me! Say yes, okay?”
“Chloe. Of course, I’m back from class. Didn’t I just pick up the phone at my house?” she asked, rolling her eyes at Luna. The cat just blinked, unperturbed.
Chloe giggled. “Whoops! Sorry. I thought I called your cell. Anyway, you’re coming with me, right? I was thinking we’d get all prettied up, go to dinner, then head to that new club on Seventh. What was it called? Sapphire! I’ve got this awesome pair of heels that I’m dying to try out with a killer skirt I found today. So, get dolled up, Gennie!”
Sometimes, she really wondered if Chloe was actually twenty-six or if she was really a seventeen year old trapped in the twenty-six year old’s body. “Chloe, I’m really tired. I had a ton of research subjects to work with today, and there’s a large stack of undergrad papers that need to be graded.”
“Oh, come on, Gen. You’re only young once. Come out and play. Live a little!”
“That’s what David thought, too,” she murmured and immediately berated herself for thinking of him.
Chloe huffed out an impatient breath. “Gennie. David’s not here, now, is he?”
She nearly dropped the phone. “Chloe.” It was a horrified whisper.
“I’m sorry. Gennie, that was terrible of me. I’m so sorry for saying that.” Chloe apologized sincerely. “I just want to get you out of that house more often. I don’t want you to lose touch with everyone. I mean, after David’s accident, you just shut yourself off to anything and anyone except school.”
She hated knowing her friend had a point. “I’m still talking to you, aren’t I?”
“And Brian. I know. I worry about you, you know that.” But Chloe knew when she’d lost. “Okay, Gen, you win tonight. But, this weekend, we’re going to do something fun. Just you and me. Is that okay?”
“Yeah.” She rested her forehead against the fridge and wished desperately for her dead fiancé. “That’s fine. Thanks, Chloe.”
“No problem. I love you, Geneva Kessler. Don’t forget it.”
Geneva had to smile. “Yeah, yeah. I love you, too. Have fun tonight.”
When she’d hung up, she took a deep breath before getting Luna her cat food. Once her cat was happily chowing down, she opened her refrigerator and the cupboards to see what she had by way of food. All she found after a five minute search was a can of tomato soup.
“Better than nothing,” she mumbled and set about heating it up. While she waited for it to warm, thoughts of a long bubble bath waltzed temptingly through her head. It would definitely help with all the knotted muscles she had in her back and neck. Stress was a real pain in the ass most of the time, and, between research and being a TA for undergraduate psychology classes, she was maxed out on stress. Coffee wasn’t even putting a bounce in her step anymore.
Impulsively, she turned off the stove beneath the soup and made her way up the steps to the second floor. She stripped off her sweater and jeans in her bedroom and walked into the bathroom to turn on the tap for the bathtub. The giant, claw-footed tub was one of the things she’d fallen in love with in the house when she and David had been home-hunting. After they’d moved in, they’d created very memorable moments in the white ceramic tub.
They’d been perfect together in every possible way. They had leaned on each other to get through the toughest of times, and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to go much longer without him. Her fingers absently brushed over the fading red lines on her wrists as she remembered the way his laugh would light up her day. His eyes would, literally, twinkle when he was being mischievous. He’d brought a beautiful light to her life and, once he’d gone, so had the light.
“I still love you, David. Always,” she whispered as the water ran.
Because thinking about him still brought tears to her eyes, she blinked them and thoughts of him away. As the tub filled, she tossed in bubble bath cubes and lit the aromatherapy candles she’d indulged in buying. She stepped up to the mirror and studied herself while she loosened the band that bound her dark hair back. There were shadows under her hazel eyes that spelled exhaustion loud and clear. Overwork and insomnia, she knew, were dragging her down. And the darkness. Always the ever-present darkness. Yet, she didn’t know how to solve either problem.
When the tub was full, Geneva turned off the water and tugged off her bra and underwear. She lowered one foot into the hot, bubbly water and cursed when the phone rang again. Yanking on her robe, she stalked into the bedroom and grabbed the phone.
“Hello?” She barely stopped herself from snarling the word.
“Hey, did I catch you at a bad time?”
She sighed and settled onto her bed. “It’s okay. No big deal.”
“You sound unhappy, Geneva.” She loved the way he said her full name, the way no one else did.
Leaning back against the pillows, she closed her eyes. “I’m tired. Stressed out. It’s nothing new.”
“Is that why you’re not going out with Chloe tonight?”
Her eyes popped open. “Did she call you and tell you to convince me to go out with her?”
There was a small chuckle at the other end. “Geneva, do I look stupid? I know better than to play messenger or whatever between the two of you. I like my skin the way it is, thanks.”
“Oh. Then why’d you call?”
“I wanted to see how one of my good friends was doing.” He paused. “It’s been a while, Geneva. I wanted to make sure you’re doing all right. I don’t like hearing that you’ve shut yourself off from everyone.”
Here we go again. “I’m fine, Brian. I haven’t shut myself off, I’ve got school and work. I don’t have the luxury of a nine-to-five job like everyone else does. I’m sorry that I haven’t seen other people in a while, but, once I’ve got my degree, I’ll have all the time in the world to spend with everyone. Is that okay?” She knew she sounded testy but couldn’t help it. Their well-meaning remarks were driving her up the wall.
“Did you have dinner?” he asked after a few moments.
She blinked at the change in subject. “Uh, not yet.”
“What were you planning on having?”
“Why do you care?”
She could practically hear him smiling. “Just wondering. Can’t I inquire as to the nutritional well-being of my friend?”
“Shut it, Brian. It’s just tomato soup.”
There was a pause, then, “I’m coming over in an hour.”
“No.”
“Geneva.”
“Brian.”
“I’ll see you soon. Bye!”
“Brian Thomas-” But her words were cut off by the dial tone. She gaped at the phone and wondered how he’d maneuvered that one. “Well, damn it. So much for the two hour long bubble bath.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, I really can't afford to write so many stories, but this one's really short. It's too long to turn into a short story, so it's going to be a short long story. Right. The rest will be up as soon as it's written. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
