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I sat with Bailey on my lap. Singing him songs. He stared up at me with the greatest smile. He likes me. The kid has taste. His face suddenly went from a pleasant smile to a grimace. Uh oh! I shifted him in my arms and began to pat him on the back. He began to cry. Uh oh! I stood up and started walking him up and down the narrow hall in my room.

"Bailey boy! no crying!" I said as I gently rocked him. He ignored my plea and broke out into full on WAAHS!! Oh no. I started bouncing him as I walked and sang rock a bye baby. that didn't work. I went for one of Brian's favorites O Holy Night. I figured who cares that it is April. That didn't work either. I tried a BSB song. Didn't work. I broke into Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit and he stopped.

"Wow a rocker dude! Can't wait to tell your daddy this!" I laughed. He laughed too. I nuzzled my nose in his belly and he continued to laugh. Yup I gotta get me one of these things.

"So Bailey, did daddy ever tell you about the time that he and I put itching powder in uncle Kevin's underwear?" He laughed.

"Yeah that WAS pretty funny" I put my finger in his hand and he grabbed on.

"I'll have to let you know a lot of my tricks so you can torture your daddy. No telling though. Just between you and me." I kissed him on the cheek. I'm telling you the kid loves me. I put him on the bed and laid down next to him watching his pudgy little legs straighten and bend as he opened and closed his hands.

"Between you and me kiddo, You are a lucky kid. Your dad is gonna be the greatest dad in the world." He dribbled on himself so I gently wiped his face.

"Your Daddy took care of me too you know" I tickled his chin. He scrunched up.

"They all took care of me"..
*********************************
"God Howie would you please stop trying to tickle me under my neck. It's creepy man" I said pulling back from him. He pretended to be hurt.

"Sorry dude but seriously, I'm not like three or anything." Howie always went for my neck. just because Brian told him when I am annoying to tickle me.

"Aw but Nicky you are fifteen, still young enough to enjoy a tickle every now and then" I made a face.

"Howie a total pervert could have said something like that!" He seemed disgusted. It did the trick he moved on. Shortly after Howie left, Kevin made an entrance. When he walked into a room it felt like a whirlwind. He was always troubled about something. Today was no different.

"Hey Kevin" I said as he paced right in front of me.

"Hey"

"Is something wrong?" He stopped and looked at me.

"Just stressed" I laughed.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Kevin, no offense but you are ALWAYS stressed!"

"Well, maybe you're right little man but I have to look out for us!"

"What is there to look out for?"

"Stuff"

"Stuff?" I was already bored with the conversation but didn't feel like being rude.

"The party Lou is having for us tonight. I'm just worried about it that's all"

"It's a party dude."

"Oh forget it. You're too young to understand" He then moved on to stress somebody else out. I had forgotten about the party that Lou was throwing for us. It was in our honor for being a total success in Europe.

"Hey kid, have you seen Rok?" AJ asked running into the room. Why does everyone feel the need to run these days?

"Nope"

"Okay well if you do, tell him I'm looking for him then okay?"

"K" I wanted everyone to leave me alone. It wasn't everyday that we had some free time. I wanted to draw. Just me and my sketch pad. The quiet didn't last for long because next in ran Brian.

"Nick, have you seen AJ?"

"Yup"

"Where?"

"In here" Brian looked around the small room.

"Uh he's not here anymore" I rolled my eyes at his stupidity>"Yeah, duh!"

"Well, where is he then?"

"I don't know he said he was looking for you"

"Well, if he comes back in here don't let him leave! I need to talk to him right now!"

"K"

"Nick!" Howie again, wow this was beginning to be a never ending loop.

"Let me guess, are you looking for AJ and Brian?"

"Yeah, have you seen them?"

"Yup"

"Okay where are they?"

"Just wait here for a minute"

"Why?"

"Trust me D" Within minutes, AJ came running in.

"Did you see him?"

"Who him?"

"Brian"

"Yeah just wait here"

"Why? oh hey D" Brian came running in. The whole time I was just drawing. Until I heard what came out of Brian's mouth.

"Prostitutes!" I dropped my pencil and looked up in shock. AJ and Howie just laughed. They then looked down at me.

"Why did you just say that?" I asked Brian now my curiosity officially raised.

"Oh no reason kiddo."

"Yeah nice try with that one."

"Okay listen Nick but if we tell you, you absolutely cannot tell Kevin got it?" I nodded.

"Okay" AJ sat down next to me on the floor, talking in a whisper.

"We heard that Lou has hired some prostitutes for tonight's party."

"Why? Are they serving the food or something?" I am such an idiot. I realized how stupid the question was as it was coming out of my mouth, unfortunately I couldn't stop my brain in time. They all cracked up. I mean not laughing. I mean hollering laughter.

"Oh my God Nick you are so funny!" Howie said patting my head.

"Thanks I try" I said rolling my eyes.

"What is so funny in here?" Here comes the party pooper himself. Mr. worry wart.

"Hey Kevin, nothing, Nick just cracked a joke." Brian said through a smile.

"Okay well, I'm glad you guys are all here. We have to talk" He closed the door and sat down on the floor grabbing my sketch pad practically out of my hand and throwing it onto the bed.

"Jesus Kevin do you mind? I was using that!"

"Sorry little man coloring can wait a minute" He made me so mad sometimes. Coloring? I really did think that these guys thought I was a child!

"I don't think we should go to this party tonight" We all groaned.

"Why?" AJ finally asked after we were all done having our hissy fits.

"Just because"

"Oh, well that's a great reason to skip out on OUR party Kevin. Just because?" I laughed.

"Okay, well I've just heard some things about parties like this. You are all a little too young to go" There we go with the we are too young thing.

"Kevin, you are not exactly an old man either!" I said as sarcastically as possible.

"Well, I am old enough to go to this thing. So is Howie. I am going to tell Lou that the three of you will not be attending" He had a finality in his voice that let me know to drop the subject. Brian however didn't have the same intuition.

"Kevin, If we want to go, we WILL go. It is not for you to decide!"

"Brian, I am making a judgment call here"

"Who's to say that your judgment is better than mine or Howie's or AJ's?" excuse me! What about Nick's? hello I understand the point you're trying to make, but I can make my own decisions too. I didn't say it but I sure as hell was thinking it!

"Brian, there are drugs at these parties" He whispered the word drugs. I cracked up again. Kevin provided me with hours of entertainment.

"I'm not gonna take the drugs" Brian mockingly whispered the word as well.

"I trust that none of us would do that!"

"Brian is right Kevin. This is our party. We need to go, even if we only show up for a little while and leave. We won't do anything. I will keep an eye on AJ"

"Hey!" AJ said. I laughed. They trust me. I love it. I'm such an angel.

"Than it's settled we are all going" I said grabbing my sketchpad.

"You're not going!" The three older guys said at the same time. AJ laughed.

"Why the hell not?" I yelled.

"Because it's no place for you to be."

"Uh, it's my party to you know!"

"We'll just say that he is sick" Brian said turning to the rest of the guys.

"Hello! Still in the room here! I am going!"

"Little man, you wouldn't have any fun. It's not going to be the kind of party that you sit and play video games. This is a grown up party"

"Oh my good God, you can't be serious can you? My heavens I thought we were all gonna play pin the tale on the donkey and then the magician would show up! bummer. Okay I won't go then." I rolled my eyes, then continued on

"By the way I was being sarcastic!" There. Now I was done.

"Not gonna work buddy. You are staying right here" I searched my brain for the best teenager angsty thing I could come up. I landed on..

"Whatever!" Eh, not what I was looking for but it worked.

I sat there and 'colored' as Kevin and Lou fought over my illness. Sometimes I wish the walls at a hotel were a little bit thicker.

"But Lou"

"Kevin I am tired of having an argument with you everytime we encounter something new. This is a party. You are supposed to have fun"

"I will but I just think Nick is too young"

"To have fun?"

"You know what I mean."

"Kevin people who are interested in investing in your group, your future, will be there. Nick is one of the main reasons they will be there. He can't just not show up"

"But Lou.."

"We're done son. If Nick's Mom has no problem with it you shouldn't either" Alright way to go Mom!

"If you are so concerned just keep an eye on him. That's all" With that Lou left. I heard Kevin pacing again. He opened the door and I pretended not to hear what had just gone on. He sat next to me.

"Hey buddy. Look, you can come to the party tonight. Nick I want you to stay right next to me. I'm serious now. This isn't a game. there will he things going on that I don't want you to see." I looked over at him and he looked sad. Why would he be sad? This was a happy day.

"Kevin, I know right from wrong. I'll be good. I know this business isn't all sunshine and flowers." He smiled at me.

Later that night we entered this huge hall. I mean huge. Much bigger than any venue we played in. There were people everywhere. As we entered they applauded. We were led to a long table in the front of the room where Lou and many Trans-con people were waiting for us. I felt a little overwhelmed. I actually grabbed for Brian's hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce my boys. The Backstreet Boys!" Everyone let out a thunderous applause. We all looked at each other feeling odd. So this was fame? Cool!

We sat and ate lot's of food. Many things I stayed away from because they looked scary. I started munching on these really good black things. They were buttery and loaded with garlic. Just like shrimp scampi. For some reason AJ and Brian kept looking over and laughing.

"What is so funny?"

"You are eating snails dumbass!" AJ said. I made a face and immediately let it fall out of my mouth.

"Ew, gross Kaos!" Brian said.

"I think I am going to be sick!" I said running from the table.

I ran to the bathroom and up came the snails. I flushed the toilet but was afraid to leave my stall because I heard two people come in. They locked the door. They were making love on the sink. The moans and groans that were coming out of there were incredible. If it was possible to lose your virginity by listening than I definitely did that day!

They were finally done but not before popping some pills in their mouths. I slowly opened the stall door. There was a dirty condom by the sink. This almost made me go for round two with the vomiting but I decided to just get out of there as quickly as possible. I ran into a woman.

"Sorry"

"Not a problem dear, say you want to go back to your hotel room?"

"Yeah I think I do"

"Okay let's go then" She grabbed my arm. No!

"No! I meant by myself, uh not that you wouldn't be great or anything but"

"Please save it kid" She pushed me aside. I suddenly felt lost. I looked around for the boys but I couldn't find them anywhere. I ventured down the hallway and down the flight of steps. There were people shooting up and drinking heavily. they kept asking me to join them. I just moved on wanting to cry.

"Hey kid, come here" A guy yelled through the crowd gathered around him. I walked over.

"Want a drink boy?"

"No thanks"

"But it's your party" I tried to pull away from him but he had a grip on my arm. He held out this weird drink. He wanted me to take a sip but I wouldn't.

"You are just a little kid huh?" He laughed. This will get you shit faced kid. you'll love it!

"No thanks" I tried to walk away. He kept his arm on me until Kevin showed up. Once the guy saw Kevin he let go.

"Nick there you are. we have been looking for you" He glared at the sketchy guy and his entourage.

"Sorry I got lost. I want to go back to my room" He walked with me back to the main party hall.

"Why? Did something happen?" He asked me grabbing my head and examine my face.

"That guy didn't hurt you did he?" I started to cry. He didn't say anything just hugged me.

"Okay let's go. I'll tell Lou we're leaving" I pulled away from him. I felt like such a baby.

"No Kev, it's okay. Sorry, I just wasn't ready for this" He hugged me.

"For what?"

"This"

"Oh, you were expecting sunshine and flowers weren't ya kiddo?" I nodded.

I pulled myself together and went back into the party. Thanking God for Kevin and the rest of the guys. I knew they would have my back always..