I find myself looking back at Nick who after complimenting everyone in the car, sinks back inside himself and becomes very quiet. I hope he is all right I think to myself but decide to just take the unexpected compliment at face value. I turn around to face my cousin and smile at the intense look of concentration coming from his face. His mind is only on one thing. Getting us to our destination. The mature, grown up, married Brian is a very focused one. Nothing like the Brian we were all used to back in the early days. This is a good thing.
Sometimes...
Even I miss the old Brian sometimes. The one who would put shaving cream in AJ's toothpaste and sit back and watch everyone blame Nick.
The quiet trouble maker, that's what I called him back then. He had such an innocent look on his face at all times that the finger's of blame rarely pointed to him. That Brian is all but gone, that saddens me. In his place is the new, introspective Brian. He seldom laughs anymore. I never realized it until Howie brought it up one day. We make him miserable.
I sigh and focus on the road. What if this is a lost cause? Kristin told me to be as positive as possible. I've never really been good at being the positive one. I see things half empty. That's something I have to work on.
"What do you guys feel like having for dinner?" I ask the other men in the car. My stomach is growling a little bit but I ask more to break up the silence.
"We just stopped a little over an hour ago Kev, you don't want to stop already do you?" Brian asks me annoyance slightly tinging his words. I can tell he doesn't plan on stopping until we reach our destination. To Brian this trip is just a big waste of his time.
"No, relax man I was just asking a question that's all." He nods and says "good" under his breath.
I miss the old Brian. He would have made a joke about my bladder or Nick's appetite by now.
"Well, I for one am a little starved." Nick says from the back. I turn his way happy to see that he has come back from his far away thoughts to join us once again.
"Why didn't you eat when we stopped earlier?" Brian asks now the annoyance that was just threatening to show it's face erupting all over his words. Nick visibly tenses up and closes his eyes trying to shut us all out again.
"I didn't think about it then. I wasn't hungry." He says behind closed eyes. The tension that had been absent from the car after our laughing fit is now back full throttle.
"Well, you're gonna have to deal with it, I'm not stopping this car right now." Nick doesn't say anything. The entire car silent. I sense what is going to happen next. The normal routine. On cue it starts to unfold...
"God Brian, just relax, he didn't tell you to stop the car now, he was just saying he was hungry. Lay off the kid. He was just answering the question that YOU asked!" Howie coming to Nick's rescue again.
"Well, I didn't ask him or you anything! I was asking Kevin." I look at the fighting pair and realize I don't know how to help. AJ is sitting behind me staring out the window and I know he doesn't know how to help either.
"I didn't mean to start anything guys, just forget I even said anything." Nick says apologetically. It always ends with Nick saying he's sorry. I look over at him and give him a little smile. I than glance over at Howie to see he is just about to start up again. He doesn't.
My attention goes back to what transpired in the car a few minutes earlier. I decide to continue where Nick left off...
"Brian, You know what I like about you best?" He doesn't respond. I think he didn't hear me but than I realize he was just caught off guard. he looks over at me and by the look in his eyes I can tell that he thinks I am going to insult him. The old Brian would never suspect that.
"What? Tell me what you like about me best?" He says almost sarcastically. I think about changing what I was going to say to fit what he is expecting. I don't. Instead I go on with my original idea.
"I like how you could always act so innocent and unsuspecting while quietly being the funniest guy in the room. I like how you could pull the nastiest pranks known to man and yet be such a warm person that no one ever suspected you."
He laughs and looks over at me. "So, what are you trying to say?" He asks with his eyebrows slightly raised. The old Brian shinning through his eyes.
"I'm just saying that the next time I find super glue in my socks, I'll know who to blame."
"What? I told you when that happened a long time ago, that it wasn't me!" He says innocently.
"I saw you do it!" I confess. They all start to laugh.
"Hey! You yelled at me for like an hour because of that! I got the biggest lecture of my life and you knew? That is sooo wrong man!" Nick says form the back. I look over at him and smile.
"You know what I like best about you junior?" I decide to call him our playful affectionate name for him. I hadn't called him that in years. I could tell that he missed it when my question was met with excited response.
"What?" He says anticipating the answer. he looks so young at that moment. Still a child in so many ways.
"I like the fact that no matter what HE did" I say pointing at Brian, "You would take the blame. That's the mark of a good friend." I make sure I pause because I don't want my last statement to be lost in the moment. I see him stare at me so I continue..
"You guys make a great team." Both men laugh. I sit back and feel like I have done something positive. My glass becomes half full....
