Next rest stop 10 miles away according to the sign we pass and I begin to worry that I will not be able to wait that long. I need to go to the bathroom now. there was a time that I could go for hours without ever having to empty my bladder but the older you get, the harder it is to get the plumbing to work. I start to fidget nervously in my seat.
I notice that the car has once again quieted down and Nick has given up trying to find a decent radio station for us to listen to. I begin to fiddle with the dial myself. Anything to get my mind off having to pee.
It seems that we have hit a patch of road where the only noise coming from the radio is static. The irony makes me laugh. If anything described our sorry state these days it was the word static.
Things were unclear. That is literally what the higher ups from Jive said to us when we had our meeting. "Boys right now your future is unclear to us and we were hoping you could enlighten us as to the status of your group right now." I remember hearing those words and sensing the end. I had looked at my four bandmates at that instant and saw my feelings mirrored on their faces.
They were looking for answers. So were we.
The truth is we had no idea ourselves what our 'status' was. All we knew was we didn't like being in the same room together. Not anymore...
"Kev, do you want me to drive for a little bit?" I heard my cousin ask. I was tempted to say yes but decided not too. Why stop the car unless it's to relieve myself.
"No, that's okay, we'll be stopping soon enough. I can manage." I then make a point of looking at him through my mirror and smile. He's a good guy. They all are.
Maybe Jive did the right thing sending us away. No wives, fiances or miscellaneous influences. When they were telling us about the trip and that it would be just the five of us, Brian was adamant about not going unless Leigh could come too. This made some of the guys mad, but not me. I understood completely.
Leighanne, just like Kristin and Sarah had become our new found loves. A love that was true, honest and very clear. Unlike the static that the five of us produced, only a clear connection to our souls could be found by our significant others. A love that Howie and Nick just couldn't bring themselves to understand.
Jive refused to let them come. So we are now forced with finding clarity in our strange relationship alone.
The first argument about this broke out right in front of the big wigs at Jive. Brian and Nick were almost to the point of fisticuffs. I was embarrassed. The executives looked at us with an expression of sheer pity. Brian went one way and Nick went the other. The remaining three of us not sure what to do just stood there in silence staring down at the floor.
I hadn't realized until that moment how out of control we had let things become...
Suddenly the static gives way to a faint song. I recognize it but it comes and goes so I am about to turn it off when Nick's hand grabs mine.
"No leave it alone" he says. "It will come in clearer in a minute. Just give it a chance." I smile at him wondering if he realizes how many layers there are to that statement. Probably not.
I had mixed feelings about this trip from the time we had heard about it right up until packing to leave. Kristin said that she thought it was a great idea. It would be just what we need to happen. Clear out the cobwebs and find the problems. That is what scared me. Problems aren't meant to be found. I tried my best to share her optimistic attitude but it has been hard...
The song comes in once again and much clearer this time. It has changed since the last bout of clarity and I can't help but to hum along with it.
I start very quietly to hum along with the song as it sends me back to my childhood. Thoughts of fourth grade, recess, first kisses and no stress. the time of my life.
I feel my body start to move with the repetitive beat of the song and my youngest band mate joins in with the humming. I look over to see him shaking his head back and forth as he hums and mouths a recognizable word hear or there. Was he even able to have the same kinds of memories about this song as I have? He would have only been a toddler.
Music is timeless.
As we hit the chorus suddenly five voices can be heard in unison singing
I love rock-and-roll
put another dime in the juke box baby
I love rock-and-roll
come and take the time and dance with me
Then a high growl happens from the back and we all start dancing and laughing like crazy. The song ends but we are momentarily having such a good time we hardly notice.
"God I love that song" Howie says from the back. It reminds me of my brother. He used to wear leather jackets and pretend he was a Blackheart."
"Okay that's gotta be the friggin funniest thing I've ever heard" AJ says in response and we all start to laugh again.
The next song brings about a sudden mood change in the car as "Drowning" begins to play. We all fall silent. then out of nowhere once again the sound of our harmony is replaced by the growing murmur of static until that is all that can be heard.
Before I switch of the radio I think of the irony of it all....
