My dreams were always the past; they were always life’s nightmares.
Five
Two weeks went by slowly. It dragged because I couldn’t waste them away and do what I wanted. I never really saw Howard. I was always kept inside with chores or telling lies that were easily broken through by my new therapist named Andy. She was a girl that resembled Jenna’s features. Blond hair and blue eyes. Very beautiful and she always said she was like Jenna in middle school and high school. I replied with my normal sarcasm, “Wow, I’m really gonna open up like a flower now.” with a smile and she laughed ignoring the sarcasm.
I was back at school now. I skipped going to the cafeteria this morning and hung out in a bathroom stall. I didn’t want to be here and I felt like everyone’s eyes were on me. And as I looked around, they were. I saw a couple people smiling at me. Everyone just looked at me with a eager look that made me anticipate my meeting with Jenna today. I was just hoping she didn’t retaliate. I was scared actually, I couldn’t lie about that. I would just never tell anyone. I went to my locker and Robert walked up to me.
“Do you want to go out with me?”
“Beat it dork.” I replied and he leaned against the locker.
“Okay, so you don’t want to go out with me. But you’re going to need some help when Jenna and
her cheerleading buddies not to mention boyfriend come after you.” he said and I looked at him.
“I’m shivering in my boots.”
“Chucks.” he corrected hesitantly.
“Robert go away.” I responded with a heavy sigh.
“Come on Lucca. You’re my hero. You hit Jenna across the face. She had to get stitches across her face!” he said grinning. I never realized Robert had braces.
“Robert, I’m cool by myself. Jenna ain’t gonna touch me.”
“We’ll see about that.” one of her ugly friends said as they walked by trying to look cute. I saw Robert starring at the girl that had killed my reassurance to me. I rolled my eyes as I turned back to my locker and began to get my books form my bag and put them in a pile where I would need them later on in the day. I stuffed my book bag and coat on a hanger and grabbed the books I needed for classes before lunch then closed it. I walked feeling so awkward as everyone whispered and laughed at me. Everyone starred eager to stay by my side so when Jenna came, hopefully something would happen.
“Welcome back.” Mrs. Diamond said handing me back my drawing pad. I took it and walked to my desk in the back.
“Up front Mrs. Hai.” she said and I once again, wanted to melt. It was the seat next to Jenna.
“Why do I have to sit there?” I asked quietly as people started coming in.
“You need to mature Lucca.”
“Well tell her that.”
“Go sit down.” I wished her to hell.
“I need to use the bathroom.”
“No you don’t, now sit down.” I went and sat down. Nearly the entire class had come early and everyone was eager when they saw I was sitting next to Jenna.
Then if on cue, the door swung open and in walked Jenna and her entourage of bitches and her boyfriend. My shoulders slumped and I leaned back in my chair starring at the wall closet to me. I was trying so hard to keep my heart beating regular. I was becoming sweaty and nervous.
She walked over. “Lucca, I’m sorry. I want to make a truce.” There were groans everywhere. They were looking forward to some morning action. Mrs. Diamond looked pleased. I saw right through the bull.
“Oh.” I replied smoothly as I kept starring at the wall.
“Come on Lucca, we need to grow up. I don‘t think you‘re a whore or a lesbian anymore.” She got a couple laughs out of that from the class. I looked at her and smiled curtly.
“Go to hell.” I mouthed.
“Fine, have it your way Pong.” she said sitting down gracefully. She flipped out a mirror and her boyfriend looked at her. He was now in our class. Wow, a lot happens in two weeks.
“Jenna, you look fine.”
“I know I do.” she grinned. I starred at my sketch pad. I wanted to just start drawing and never stop. I wanted to draw so good it looked like photography. I wanted to draw and forget everything. I kind of wanted to just go to sleep for awhile. Take a nap from life.
Class went by slow. Very slow. Mostly because I was scared crapless what Jenna’s next move was. I tried to think back and wonder about a time where Jenna was fearful. It never came because I assumed there hadn’t been a time. In a world like this, beauty got you places and protection.
I went slowly to my next class but went fast enough to enter with the current of people. I was just another student, lost in the population. It was nice to feel invisible again. The next class I entered was science. I showed the guy my re-emit and sat in the back like usual. He was the type of teacher I liked. He didn’t care what you did, as long as you were quiet and you didn’t “distract” anyone else. I decided to draw that period but I laid my head down and starred at the paper.
I was tired but I didn’t want to sleep. Going to the counselor had ripped open scabs that I had thought were scars. She had nearly torn apart my whole person when I walked in talking about what I acted like and why and she was dead on but I’d never admit that. I’d let her have to actually work for her money. It really didn’t matter to me, I’d never tell her a thing that was true at least. She made me want to spill at times, but most times I just wanted to go to sleep. When things got to complicated, that’s what I do. Things happen while you’re asleep but you don’t know it. You’re dead to the world and no one can touch you. Well of course, there’s always the exceptions. Like dreams, my dreams. My dreams were always the past; they were always life’s nightmares. I wanted a break from life.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry about the delay. I'm in a stage crew class @ my highschool and we've been working on a muscial. Alittle short but next chappy's long. -) Hope you like.
