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The ride over to the hospital was in complete silence. None, not even AJ said anything and the usual chatter and comments that could be heard were replaced with a fog thick with fear. Fear that something would happen to their little brother, the youngest member in the group.

Nick unconscious. Getting hit with a bottle in his head. Seriously injured.

It was all too surreal and for the first time since AJīs drug rehab, their existence was threatened again. People, especially in the music industry had predicted the group's ending. Especially when Nick was going solo, but they had surprised them all by popping up. Like Jack in the box.

They were immortal. Or where they? The thoughts swirled in their heads. Thoughts that Nick was more injured that the doctors had let on. Thoughts that this was a serious situation.

"Weīre here." The driver announced stopping at the entry at the hospital. Curious people stopped, looking at the black long Limo with tanned windows. Waiting to see which celebrity would come out, drugged to their gills. They could thank their lucky stars that it was dawn and the worst morning rush was yet to come. No reporters had made their way to the hospital which indicated that the "accident" wasnīt out in the news yet.

"Great" Kevin uttered, opening the cardoor. He was as always taking the lead and with no words he marched straight to the hospital entrance. The moment he heard about his friends accident he had at first thought the worst. To survive, all emotions had been pushed aside. Kevin was a man that worked best when he was under pressure, although the pressure back in the early days had given him an ulcer. Those days he always had to be perfect. Never making a mistake. Kristin was the one that told him that it was all right to fail. To screw up every once in a while in life.

Kevin Richardson had matured. He was an adult.

Tight in Kevin's pace came the rest of the men, still not saying anything. Walking through the glass doors the smell of hospital crashed against them and Brian shielded away. Even if it was several years since his heart surgery it still gave him the hives when it came to hospitals. He detested the smell of disinfection and if he could he tried to avoid this place as much as possible.

The short man was unnaturally quiet as he walked into the emergency room, nodding to a nurse that looked like she had seen a ghost. Hospital personnel were whispering something and Brian couldnīt help but smile. It was the same wherever they went. People acting like they were coming from outer space. At first Brian had thought it was kind of flattering, then he thought it had been annoying and these days he didnīt care. It had become part of life. His life.

"You all right?" Howie asked, putting a hand on Brian's shoulder. There was concern in his friend's voice, as always. Howie or Sweet D' as his friends called him, was concerned about everyone's well being. He was the band's shrink as well as the negotiator. At first Brian had thought he was annoying being so nice and tidy. But then he had found out that Howie had a heart of gold and these days he was happy to be the Latino's friend. Everybody used to say that Brian was the glue in the band, the one that kept them all together but the Kentuckian knew better.

It was Howie.

"Yeah, I guess so," Brian mumbled, not knowing if he meant what he said. He was taught never to let his guard down. Never to say when something was making him sad or angry. For a long time he lived like that, smiling all the time. Smiling that famous Backstreet smile. Just like Nick. But not anymore. He didnīt need anyone else to rule his life and nowadays he was independent. It was freedom. He was a grown man like the rest. But what had changed him the most was when he had became a dad and now he never left home without his wife and baby son. They were the sunshine in his life. The ones that he lived for.

"I'm sure that everything will be just fine" Howie said comfortingly, giving away a squeeze on the shoulder.

Brian nodded. "I hope so."

His first reaction when he had heard that Nick had been in an accident, had been that the young man was wrapped up in another drunken fight. Nick had a hot temper and there was more than one occasion that he had to pay that price. Then Brian had heard that someone hit his friend with a bottle and he had gotten concerned. The hospital had told them that Nick was still unconscious and that he was seriously injured. This news hit Brian hard. Much harder than he had ever thought was possible.

Nick was seriously hurt. His friend who he had grown up with and come to love like his own flesh and blood. His little brother.

"Man, this is creepy," AJ broke the silence as he was the last one to enter the emergency room. Kevin was already talking to one of the nurses about where to find their friend. The young blonde was showing them to a hallway and Brian could see that she was more than thrilled about having them for a visit. He smiled to her. Friendly.

"I know" Howie answered back with a whisper, not wanting to cause any commotion.

"Dude I could really use a smoke right now." Alexander James McLean was nervous, really nervous. Just like Brian, hospitals gave him the creeps. But for different reasons. They reminded him of his own mortality. Reminded him of death and how in the blink of an eye, situations could change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. When he was in rehab, he had many hours to kill and then he started to think about life. How fragile it was and that it could be lost the next second. This had changed him. Made him a better person. Not different just better. A bit more humble.

"Not here" Brian snapped, sending away a disapproving glare.

"Relax" AJ said with a sigh. God Brian could be so anal sometimes. Usually this was Kevin's table but ever since Brian had married Leighanne he was a worrier. Always expecting the worst to happen. AJ on the contrary had started to look brighter at things. Not always looking at the dark. "I just said I WANTED one, not that I would smoke one. Jeeze" The tattooed man shook his head, "Chill out man."

"Follow me" Kevin said pointing with his finger towards an elevator, "He is in ICU. Third floor. Come on."

"OK." Without questioning they followed the oldest member like they had done so many times before. He had a natural authority and it was more than once Kevin had been the bands spokesman. Like when there had been strong winds blowing and the guys needed a safe rock to hang on. Especially for Nick.

People in the corridor were staring and whispering when the four famous men entered the scene. Two young nurses giggled.

"Good morning ladies" AJ said with a chauvinistic smile that only he could muster. It wasnīt for nothing that he was the band's ladies man. Or more likely had been. Nowadays he was a married man and it was Nick that was handling the title now. Sometimes way too much. The nurses giggled even more.

"Hi" Howie smiled, following in his friends footsteps. The Latino had secretly admired AJ. His carefree rebellious attitude. This was something that the rest of the guys knew about and one time Nick had been allowed to dress Howie up. They had never laughed so much since he didnīt look cool at all. More like a worn out pimp. Howie smiled at the memory. Nick had been a real prankster.

"Whatīs so funny?" Brian wanted to know as they stepped into the elevator.

"Oh nothing. Just thought about something Nick did once."

"You mean that time when he stuck a Kit Kat in your mouth when you were asleep." Brian chuckled and suddenly their was a laughter filling the elevator.

"Yeah or that time when he put firecrackers on the toilet seat. Talk about bombing away." AJ belly laughed.

"Man that scared the shit out of me." The oldest man said with a grin.

More laughter was heard.

"Nick was such a prankster." Howie could have bit his tongue after uttering those words. Killing the happy moment in a second.

"WAS?" Brian looked ready to rip the Latino's head off. "What do you mean WAS? You make it sound like he is dead."

Feeling misunderstood and hurt Howie defended himself, "I didnīt mean it like tha.."

"What DID you mean then?" Brian sneered, interrupting his older brother. His eyes were cold. Ice cold.

"Cool it." AJ was coming to Howie's defense. " Man Rok you're way too tense. Chill, man!" He rubbed a tired hand over his face" I think we are all getting too worked up over this, like we're expecting the worst."

"I think maybe youīre right." Howie said silently, getting a glare from Brian. He quickly looked away, avoiding the eyes.

"Well, try to behave like adults when we get to Nick." Kevin said when the elevator stopped. All of the men went silent as they suddenly became aware of why they were
at the hospital.

Nick.