Maybe it’s all you’re running from
Perfection will not come
“Dude, I’ve never seen you like this over a chick before.” Aaron plopped into a chair at the kitchen table and studied the way Nick sat with his head resting on his hands. “She’s one woman, Nick. It’s not the end of the world.”
Nick sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. Thousands of thoughts had been buzzing around in his brain for days. He hadn’t been able to sleep and kept seeing the ring on Shelby’s hand, hearing her voice say she was engaged. He couldn’t believe it, but he couldn’t change it either. Not that he wanted to marry her or anything, either, but still…
“She’s not just any other woman, Aaron. It’s Shelby. You remember her don’t you?” he asked as he raised his head to meet is brother’s eyes.
Aaron nodded. “Sure. Yeah. She was pretty cool. She’d come by the house for a while after you left and ask how you were. After a year or so, she quit coming. I think she realized you weren’t really coming back.” He frowned. “I felt sorry for her and told her I was still there.”
“And then, of course, you weren’t.”
“Yeah, well, that’s in the past. Maybe you and Shelby should’ve stayed in the past, too.”
“Are we talking about Shelby Washington?” Angel and BJ entered the kitchen. Angel sat next to Nick and laid her head on his shoulder. “What’s wrong, big brother? Missing her? Hasn’t it been years since you saw her?”
Nick shrugged but ruffled her hair. “I found her a couple months ago. Turns out she’s getting married soon.”
“Wow. Is she still the same Shelby that she was before?” BJ wondered, pulling out a skillet and vegetables from the refrigerator. “I always thought she’d marry you, and I’d get to be the maid of honor. Then again, I was, like, eight.”
Nick shut his eyes as the pain stung at him again. He couldn’t believe how badly she’d tied him into knots. “I thought I’d marry her way back when, too. But we’re all grown up, and I feel so twisted up over seeing her twice.”
“You kissed her, man,” Aaron reminded him. “Sometimes, that’s all it takes. That’s how I knew Kaci was the one.”
Nick barely disguised the groan at the thought of his brother’s girlfriend and AJ’s former girl toy. Angel, though, didn’t. “Look, we’re friends and all, but I really don’t want to hear about her, Aaron. We’re talking about Shelby, right now.”
“You’re just jealous,” Aaron retorted.
“Of what?” Angel shot back. “A style-less Abercrombie worker with no career? Yeah, that’ll be the day.”
“Children.” BJ’s voice prevented Aaron’s comment from being verbalized. “Let’s help Nick out, right now. You can argue later.”
Nick sighed. “Don’t worry about it, guys. I don’t even know why it’s bugging me so badly. It’s just…”
“Just?” Angel prompted when he grew silent.
He shook his head. “I can’t stop thinking about her. At first, I thought maybe we could get together and have maybe a long-distance thing going. She could fly out here, and I could fly over to Tampa and whatever. But she’s got a business she runs, so she couldn’t keep coming out here, you know. So then I thought that we could just be friends.”
“What changed your mind again?” Aaron wondered, sliding a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and fiddling with the lid.
“Don’t smoke in the house,” Nick said mildly. “I think it was seeing her again and realizing there’s no way in hell that I could just be friends with her. I can’t stop reliving that kiss, hearing her voice in my head, seeing that face in my mind. Damn it, I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking about her!”
Angel wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back soothingly. “Nick, I know it sucks, but can you blame her for having a life? You’ve had more than a few women pass through your life, too. She couldn’t have just sat around and twiddled her thumbs for thirteen years, waiting for you to come back. It sucks that this is going down the way it is, but it’s just the way things are.”
And he had to live with it, Nick thought. It was either her happiness or his. He wished her all the joy in the world and realized he’d have to figure out how to be just a friend.
