Maybe you need her
Maybe you had her
Maybe you lost her to another
Nick stared at the bottle, and the bottle stared right back. Though he hadn’t drunk a single drop of it, he’d watched it for hours and contemplated opening it in order to erase the pain. He wanted to feel nothing. No pain, no sorrow. He wanted to stop thinking.
Shelby’s wedding was in two days.
He should be there now, he knew. He’d been invited, but he’d never sent her a reply. If she’d been expecting him to be there, he hoped she wouldn’t be too upset when he wasn’t. He just didn’t think he could bear sitting in a church pew and watching her promise her life and love to another man.
He’d come to a big, whopping conclusion in the nine months since he’d found her again.
Nick Carter loved Shelby Washington more than anything else in the world.
But she didn’t love him and never would. He needed to accept that and get over her. Maybe if he were given a few years, no more than three, really, he’d get past the overwhelming feelings that bubbled and boiled within him. He felt ready to explode with them and knew there was no place for them to go.
He ignored the ringing of the doorbell, imagining that it was one of his siblings. They had keys, didn’t they? They could let themselves in because he wasn’t their damn servant. He was busy dreaming about getting drunk. Dreaming but hadn’t actually started on it.
As he reached for the bottle, his cell phone rang next to him. Muttering curses, he flipped it open. “Hello?”
“Nick.” Her voice was breathless, and he could hear loud, crashing music in the background.
“Shelby?”
She giggled. “Hi, Nick! I just thought I’d call you and say a big thank you again. The dress is freaking-A gorgeous. Who knew you’d come through like that for me?”
“Don’t worry about it, Shelby. Just be happy.” He wondered if a man could die of a broken heart.
“You know what, Nick? I am happy. And I didn’t need to be with you to do it.” She sighed wistfully. “Can you believe that I actually thought of you when Logan first proposed to me? I guess I carried a fucking torch for you for thirteen years before I realized I’d been fooling myself.”
A fist squeezed his heart painfully. “Are you saying you wanted me all this time?”
“I didn’t say that, did I? Nope.” She giggled again. “Silly, Nick. You keep putting the wrong words in my mouth. I didn’t want you all this time. I loved you all this time. But now, I’ve got Logan.”
He swallowed the hot ball of regret lodged in his throat. “Shelby. Are you…are you drunk?”
“You’re so smart, Nicky Carter. It’s my bachelorette party, and I wanted the best of the best drinks. Gosh, I can’t be more than tipsy, though. I’ve only had…well, I can’t really remember.” She made a humming noise. “Did you know I listened to all of your music for the first time a couple months ago?” Her voice hushed. “But, shh, don’t tell Logan. He’s jealous of you.”
“Yeah?” He needed to hang up. He needed to not hear this information. It just made it harder to let go of her. Clean breaks were becoming impossible.
She laughed a little. “He thinks you’re going to steal me away, but that’s just crazy talk. I’m going to marry him, aren’t I? He’s already won.”
“Yeah. Yeah, he has,” Nick mumbled and hoped she wouldn’t remember this conversation in the morning.
Shelby sighed. “I should go, Nick. My head feels all light and weird. I think I’ll get some fresh air now.” She paused. “Hey, Nick! Guess what?”
“What?”
“I’m getting married! I can’t wait! Buh-bye, Nick. Love you.”
He held the phone tight to his ear. “What? Shelby, what did you say?”
Her voice grew dreamy and soft. “You’re so pretty, Nick. And you’ve got a fabulous voice. Lordy, I wanted to slurp you up in one big gulp that night you kissed me. I wish it could have gone on and on because I’m so in love with you. But I’m getting married to Logan because he loves me. Yes sir. He loves me, and we’re going to be sooo happy.”
“Shelby, did you just say you love me?”
“I think I’m going to go to bed now. ‘Bye, Nick.”
He snapped the phone shut and stared at it. The pain pounding in his heart was unbelievable, and he wondered how it was possible that, the one time she told him she loved him, she was drunk. She probably wouldn’t even remember it in the morning, and she probably hadn’t meant it.
Nick went back to staring blindly at the bottle. When someone pounded on his door then barged in, he didn’t look up. Leslie took one look at his face, forgot her anger, and shoved the bottle out of his sight. Then, sighing, she put her arms around him and held him when he broke apart.
