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It was raining, just like it had on the day she disappeared.

“Raining in fucking Kentucky.” Nick slammed his hand against his steering wheel as he made his way around the twisting cemetery road. “Stupid country place..” He was talking to no one. He was simply angry. Angry and, underneath, ripped to pieces. This shouldn’t have been happening. Nick stopped his SUV at the busy spot beneath a big tree.

“Nicky!” A young voice squealed as he saw the little girl break free of her grandmother’s hand and run toward him. A half smile crept across his face.

“Hello Isabella.” He would never admit that he thought that was the prettiest name he had ever heard. It would make him seem to girly, he thought. He crouched down and opened his arms, amazed that she even remembered him.

Nick smiled as he wrapped his arms around the littlest Littrell. He had never been a kid kind of person but she was different. She came from the two people that had meant the most to him in his life. He would never let anyone know how soft she made his heart though. “Miss daddy and mommy.” He heard her whisper.

“We’re going to find mommy, ok?” He kissed her head. “And daddy.. well.. he’ll always be with you.” What was he saying? He sounded like someone who said those sorts of things all the time. Truth was, he wasn’t. Hell, this was the first time he had even washed his hair in days. Why, all of the sudden, were words spilling out of his mouth that sounded like they should be coming from a responsible adult? Nick lifted her into his arms and slowly made his way to the crowd.

He had purposely missed the funeral, thinking it would be the hardest part, thinking that hearing all those things about Brian would break his heart more than anything. Remembering. He hated remembering because he hated crying, and that’s what it made him do. Nick was tougher than that. On his drive up to the cemetery though, his tough exterior was broken with every bit he drove and outside gave him an excuse to wear sunglasses. Stupid Kentucky with the sun shining while it rained.

Nick Carter watched as everyone around him was broken down. Why couldn’t he do that? God knows he wanted to. He slipped into a chair beside Kevin, who patted Nick’s back. Nick only shrugged away, wanting this to be over, wanting to get on with his life. Drink and forget. To be far away from here. Surely, though, he had missed the hardest part. No one would talk about him now… He wouldn’t have to remember Brian…

But as he watched his friend’s body being lowered into the ground, a unusually warm wind whipped around his blond hair and he could’ve sworn that Brian was there. But he wasn’t and the fact that he never would be again got to Nick.

“Dammit,” He muttered, leaning forward and covering his face with his hands as his heart broke into a thousand more pieces. Nick needed to find Sara. For Brian. For Isabella. For himself and his sanity.

As the rain mixed with his tears, he knew it wouldn’t be that easy.