It’s officially my first night in prison, and I’m already pulling my hair out and climbing the walls. Me and Big Blue (I didn’t know his name and he just seemed to match that “prison” name) avoided crossing each other’s paths at all costs. Sure, since we talked it made things a little… easier, but we haven’t said anything to each other since. Speaking of the big guy, he’s gone as of right now… has been for a while. Not sure what happened to him, just remember lying in my cot and rising up to see the those two jackass guards come to take him away. But that was earlier this afternoon; night has fallen and he hasn’t returned yet.

I tossed onto my right side on the cot, I don’t know what the hell I was doing thinking about him when I should be thinking about how the hell I’m gonna get myself to sleep. It was hard though, hearing voices screaming out from the different cells and the sound of the guard’s boot clonking on the hard floor. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping I could shun out the noise somehow, but it seemed to be growing stronger, drowning out everything else inside my head.

Just when I felt myself begin to drift off into a fitful slumber, I was jarred awake by the sharp noise of jingling keys and clanging metal. I refused to turn around to see what the ruckus was about, instead I pushed my head further into the flat, stale pillow and had kept my back facing our cell door.

“Keep it up… the next time you could be baby boy’s accidental death.” I heard the guard whisper.

The door was opened and heavy feet shuffled around right inside. Everything remained quiet, except for the sound of the cell door closing and the keys locking it up again. I didn’t turn around just yet, I was waiting for the guards to go away. Once everything fell silent again, I finally rose from my cot and slowly turned to find Big Blue sitting down on the edge of his cot, head in hands.

I stared at him, looking him over through the darkness. It’s funny, this was the same man I jumped earlier for his rude comment, the same man that had me in a chokehold because I refused to apologize, yet I was concerned for him. It could’ve been for the conversation we had earlier (about this prison killing all it’s inmates and whatnot) and I felt a sense of guilt knowing that I’d be able to walk out of here alive, leaving behind a whole bunch of innocent people who will be killed.

“What happened?” I finally broke the silence with a whisper.

“I thought I told you not to talk to me unless it was to apologize” came his gruff reply, never lifting his head up from his hands.

“That didn’t stop you.” I fired back. I waited anxiously for him to do something to me for my smart remark; to get up and yell at me, to get in my face, hell to even pin me up against the wall by my throat again, but none of that came. He remained where he sat, still holding his head in his hands, refusing to even look up.

“Why does it even matter to you what the hell happened to me?”

I shrugged, “Because I heard that asshole say baby boy, and I know he was talking about me.”

A slight sinister chuckle was released from him. “Of course… everything is always about you huh?” What the hell did he mean by that? “You don’t even fucking care.”

“If I didn’t fucking care, I wouldn’t have asked you what happened.”

You know, for a big guy, he’s really quick. As soon as I ended my sentence, he was up and off the cot and in my face before I could even breathe.

“You don’t fucking care.” he seethed. “You only care about you… you asked me what happened because the guard said baby boy… and I guess that’s his nickname for you. So cut the bullshit kid, you only asked what happened because that fucking guard mentioned a pet name he has for you.”

I was taken aback, not because of the way he approached me, but because of the fact that I could finally see his appearance within the dim light. His bottom lip was bust open, blood oozing out the crack and a trail dried blood dribbling down his hairy chin. His left eye was purple and bloodshot while his right eye was swollen beyond recognition. His cheeks were enflamed, making him appear as if he was a chipmunk storing food in his mouth.

“Why did they do that to you?” I asked in a whisper, not being able to tear my eyes away from his brutalized face.

He let out an exasperated sigh and turn his back on me, walking away. “Fuck kid, please cut the bullshit and stop acting like you care.”

“Why won’t you answer the questions?” I blurted out, letting my anger override my concern. “Do you want that apology, cause if so I’ll give it to you right now. I’m fucking sorry for what I did… okay?”

He stared at me long and hard through the darkness. “I don’t accept it… cause I know it doesn’t mean shit.”

I chuckled manically, “Okay… you know what? Fuck it. If you wanna sit here wasting your time saying how much I don’t care and how my apology doesn’t mean shit, go right ahead, cause right now I don’t fucking care anymore.” and with that I had turned my back on him and had laid back down on my cot.

Everything fell silent once again, and for a moment I thought Big Blue was gone again. The heavy sigh that was emitted minutes later reminded me that I wasn’t alone.

“I wouldn’t fucking tell them.”

His voice was so soft this time around, almost barely audible. I didn’t rise from my cot, I just stayed where I was, my back still facing him. I knew he would continue his story, whether I turned around to face him or not.

“They knew I told you something… don’t know how the hell they did, but they knew. What they didn’t know exactly was what I told you… and I wouldn’t tell them what they wanted to know. They started to… they thought that they could get answers from me, but I remained silent and I took all that they dished out. They want to know what was said to you, they want to know how much you know… and they won’t stop at anything to get their answers. Once they find out, they’re going to kill you and charge me with murder… the cause of your death.”

My heart stopped beating, literally. The words of the guard came to mind, of him saying that Big Blue would be the cause of my “accidental” death. I rose from my cot once again and turned to face him, finding him to be seated on his cot right across from me, head in hands.

“So I’m telling you right now kid… you don’t know anything. I don’t know what they’ll do to you, but whatever they do you don’t budge, you stand your ground, you hear me?”

I briskly nodded, feeling my heart start to beat once again, but it was painful, it was pounding too hard and too loud within my chest. We both sat there in the darkness for a while, my eyes staring at him while he refused to lift his head from his hand, his eyes boring into the ground.

“Why?” I whispered, finally breaking the heavy silence that surrounded us.

He lifted his head from his hands to look at me, his eyes answering my question with another question.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“You wanted to know, didn’t you?”

I nodded, but that wasn’t the answer I was looking for. “I mean… you told me what to do, to protect myself… and you refused to tell them what they wanted to know and took a beating… for me. Why?”

I heard him chuckle, but it wasn’t sadistic or maniacal. “You always think everything’s about you kid.” I fell silent, waiting for him to explode at me again, but none of that came. “Without them knowing, we’d both be better off…” he said as he laid down on his cot.

I soon followed suit, sighing heavily when my back met the harsh stiffness of the cot.

“and because I’m not a monster people paint me out to be.” he finished after a brief moment of silence.

I glanced at him and noticed that he was laying on his back too, just staring up at the ceiling of our cell. Everything had fallen quiet once again, and I know I wanted it quiet so I could sleep earlier, but now the silence was killing me, it was too quiet for my liking, and I just couldn’t sleep now.

“Blake.”

I slightly jumped at hearing his low voice all of a sudden, thankfully ridding me of the quietness. “What?”

“The names Blake.”

Well, at least I didn’t have to refer to him as Big Blue anymore. “Nick.”

“Think I’ll stick with kid…”

I smirked.