“Shell,” I whispered softly and shook her shoulder gently. She began to stir a little, and then her eyes flew open.
“Is everything okay?” Her voice was raspy from sleeping. She leaned up on her elbows. Since we didn’t have any clean clothes yet, she was in what she had been for the past two days. The Shelby I used to know would never allow herself to go more than one day without clean clothes.
“Everything’s fine,” I reassured her and tucked a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear. “It’s 6:30. I know you said you wanted to be at the hosptial when it opened so we can see Lanie.” I reminded her. I was surprised, myself, that I had gotten up voluntarily. I wasn’t usually the earlier riser, but I wasn’t able to get a real full-night’s rest. So that made it harder to sleep and stay asleep.
“Oh, right,” she nodded and threw the sheets off her body. “This is the longest I’ve ever stayed in the same outfit.” She giggled. “Except for when Lanie was born…” she smiled, thinking back to those days. “They made me stay in that ridiculous gown for three days straight.” She shuddered.
I chuckled. “I remember…” and I did remember. I remembered every moment from that day.
3:03 am. “N-Nicky?” I heard her soft, worried voice for about the fifth time now. I frowned in my sleep and slowly opened my eyes.
“What is it?” I yawned, somewhat frustrated that I was being woken up. I had to work the next day.
“I-I think I’m having the baby…” she whispered softly, her eyes full of tears. Her hand was gripping her large stomach and she slowly tried to roll out of bed.
“You think? Or you are?” Okay, so maybe it was an asshole comment to make, but he and Shelby hadn’t really been getting along lately.
“Nick, now is not the time to fuck with me,” Shelby cried. “I’m really scared and if you’re not going to be here for me, then I need you to call my mom so she’ll be supportive.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled and rolled my eyes. “Come on, I’ll get the bag.” I rolled out of bed. It still hadn’t really hit me that Shelby was giving birth to our baby. “Okay, do you need anything?” I watched her slowly make her way to the stairs.
“Just help me get down the stairs…” she mumbled as she concentrated on each step. I put an arm around her to steady her and then held her hand with my other to lead her down the stairs.
“Just breathe, Shelly,” I whispered. It was all becoming more real. With each step she took, she squeezed my hand harder. “We’re gonna get through this.”
Through the pain and the fear, she smiled up at me.
“I think I’ll probably just shower after I get some fresh clothes from BJ,” Shelby interrupted my thoughts. I nodded and agreed that I’d probably do the same. “They start her chemo today…” she whispered. As I watched her in the mirror, I saw the tears glisten in her eyes.
I walked up behind her and gently tugged on her hand for her to turn towards me. “I know how hard this is, Shell. I’m feeling the same way…” I began to explain. “We have to look at the big picture. We can’t dwell on the fact that she has cancer because that’s not going to go away. She has cancer. We both know that and we need to come to terms with it.” I couldn’t believe, myself, how mature I sounded right there. But I knew I had to for Shelby and Lanie’s sakes.
She nodded. “I’m sorry,” she whispered once more and brought one of her hands up to her eyes to dab her tears away. Her other hand was still connected to mine.
“Don’t apologize,” I quickly added. I wasn’t looking for any kind of an apology, I just wanted Shelby to understand where I was coming from. “I just want us to both be strong during this. I want us to lean on eachother so we can stand tall for Lanie. She doesn’t understand.” I didn’t want to see Lanie sick. I knew the chemo would, on the outside, only make her worse. Shelby and I would have to take it one day at a time. “Just remember what chemotherapy can do to a person…” I tried to add in slightly.
Shelby nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I know.” She sighed. We faced the door of the hotel and glanced around the empty room, our hands still connected. “You ready?” I asked, not daring to let go of her hand. She nodded. Neither of us wanted to let go.
Author's Chapter Notes:
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