Lanie had taken the treatment as everyone had thought she would – poorly. She was sicker than we had ever seen her before. The chemo caused her to feel nauseous and throw up all over the place. I had finally managed to get Shelby out of there and back to the hotel to get some dinner.
I watched as she sat by the window, watching the rain drops fall upon the glass. “Nicky?” She whispered. She hadn’t called me that in a while.
“Hmm?” I responded and made my way over to where she was sitting on the window sill. I took the seat next to her and watched her emotionless face.
“What if she doesn’t get better?” She whispered, finally making eye contact with me. I swallowed to try and rid my throat of the dry feeling there. I wanted so badly to reassure her that she would get better – that everything would be okay. But I wasn’t sure, myself. And the last thing I wanted to do was lie to her. “I mean…I don’t know what I’d do…” she couldn’t finish her statement, but I knew exactly what she was going to say.
“Hey, come here,” I sighed and pulled her in for a tight hug as she collapsed against my shoulder in a fit of sobs. “Listen, Shelly. As soon as we start doubting Lanie, she’s going to only get worse. Us being negative isn’t going to make it any easier. We have to stay positive.” I wasn’t just reassuring her, I was reassuring myself, as well. “Please eat something?” I sighed and turned towards the tray of food room service had brought us for dinner. I felt her shake her head ‘no’ in my chest and I sighed. “You gotta eat, Shelly.”
“I can’t, Nick,” her voice was muffled from my shirt. “You don’t understand.” She cried some more.
“Oh, but baby I do understand…” shit. I had called her ‘baby’. Hadn’t pulled that one in a while. I knew there was no correcting that. “Sorry, it slipped.” I apologized and kissed the top of her head.
“What happened to us, Nick?” She sighed and for the first time in a minute or so, she looked up to meet my gaze. “One day we were a perfect family; married and pregnant. Then after Lanie was born…it all fell apart.”
“We were never perfect, Shell,” I sighed. “A lot of it was my fault. I was young and didn’t understand what marriage was about. Things were a lot different back then…” I tried to explain. She nodded as it began to rain a bit harder. “I’m sorry I was an insensitive asshole.” I smirked, trying to form a smile over her lips. Much to my surprise, it actually worked.
“You weren’t the problem, Nick,” she smirked. “I was just as much of a pain in your ass as you were in mine. Especially when I was pregnant.” She laughed. She was right. She was a pain in my ass. Always complaining about her cravings. “But we had fun…at the beginning, at least.”
I nodded in agreement and ran my fingers through her hair. “I missed you, Shell. I mean, I’ll admit that the idea of coming back here seeing you guys again wasn’t pleasing at all to me when I first found out about Lanie…but I thought you hated me. So I wanted to keep my distance…”
“I never hated you,” she whispered back as tears formed in her eyes. “I was hurt that things had ended the way they did. And I was hurt because I know you thought I was using you for money. But money was never the issue, Nick. Never, I swear.” She repeated. I nodded and gently ran the pad of my thumb under her eyes to wipe away the tears.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. This was the perfect moment. Though we were both distraught about Lanie being sick and us not knowing what to do, it was this peaceful moment that I honestly can’t even begin to explain in words. “Let’s start over?”
At that moment, a huge grin found its way over her lips and she nodded. “I’d love that.”
My heart felt on fire. She was agreeing with me. I had apologized for everything and so had she. We didn’t hate each other, rather at this moment, it was quite the opposite. We were on the same page. For once in a long time, I felt like she could actually relate to me. She understood me better than anyone else right at that moment. And I didn’t know what else to do…so I brought my lips down to meet her’s in a soft, tender kiss. I wasn’t sure how she’d take it and if she’d reciprocate the feelings or not. She brought her hand up to my cheek and gently massaged her thumb over my skin. “I missed…this.” She whispered softly.
“So did I,” I smiled and placed my lips back on her’s once more. This time, I allowed my tongue to gently run over her bottom lip. She allowed me in and opened her mouth slightly. It was such an amazing feeling – so electric. It was like we had both wanted it for so long and we were finally allowing it to happen.
Almost immediately after we pulled back, a bolt of lightning struck down somewhere nearby and thunder boomed in the distance. “We should go…” she whispered and glanced down at her hands awkwardly. I placed my hand on top of her’s and gave her a curious look – didn’t she want this like I did? “I think this is perfect, Nick…” she mumbled with a small smile. “But Lanie hates thunderstorms. I don’t want her to be at the hosptial by herself…”
I nodded, understanding what she was saying. “Promise me you’ll eat something when we get back…” I saw how tired Shelby looked. I knew I was tired, too. But I knew if she didn’t eat anything, she wouldn’t have any strength or energy.
“Promise,” she winked and kissed my cheek gently before standing up and making our way out of the hotel room.
Author's Chapter Notes:
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