“Mommy?” Lanie squinted towards the door as we both walked in. Shelby smiled down at her. The nurses had been kind enough to shut the blinds and supply Lanie with her favorite stuffed animal – Beanie – which Shelby and I had given her at birth. It was a raggedy stuffed giraffe from the hospital gift store.
“Hey baby,” Shelby whispered and bent down to kiss Lanie on the forehead. “How ya feeling?” She tucked Lanie’s blonde hair behind her ear and sat down on the edge of her bed. I sat down next to her.
“I’m sleepy and my tummy hurts…” she placed her little hand over her stomach. The nurse had brought in a TV and DVD player for us with some Disney movies incase Lanie was interested.
“Wanna watch Cinderella?” I asked her, knowing that was her favorite. Her eyes seemed to light up even in all the pain she was in and she nodded. I got up and walked over to the DVD player to set it up.
“Can you lay with me?” Lanie asked. I turned to look back and forth between Lanie and Shelby. Who was she referring to?
“Which one of us, baby?” Shelby frowned and continued to run her fingers through Lanie’s hair soothingly. A grin formed over Lanie’s lips, as if she knew exactly what she was doing.
“Both of you,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Baby, I don’t think we can all fit in this bed,” Shelby smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “How about you and daddy have some time together?” I smiled. Shelby was being very generous. If this was a month ago and we hadn’t worked through our issues, I knew both of us would be fighting over Lanie.
“No,” Lanie pouted. “Please? We can squeeze…” she practically begged. Shelby sighed and looked up at me. I just shrugged. I wasn’t sure what to do. I ran my fingers through my hair and turned back to the TV as if it were a good distraction. After fidgeting with the DVD player, I turned back towards Shelby and shrugged.
“We’ll try…” Shelby muttered and situated Lanie on the bed so she scooted forward.
“Daddy can sit behind you, and then I’ll sit on your lap, Mommy,” Lanie explained. I smirked. I knew from experience (with Baylee) that whenever little kids were sick, they always used their parents in the sense where they could get whatever they wanted.
I saw the smirk on Shelby’s face, as well. “Let’s see if we’ll all fit.” She giggled. I walked over and slipped off my shoes, climbing around Lanie and Shelby. I slid my legs down either side of Shelby. It was a bit awkward…we hadn’t been in a position like this in quite awhile. She, however, managed to lean back gently against my chest. “You comfortable?” She asked.
“Mhm,” I nodded, not able to form coherent sentences. What was happening to me? To us? “Lanie, baby girl, you comfortable?” I asked.
“Yep!” Lanie giggled as the TV started playing the Disney classic. “Hey Daddy?” She questioned.
“Yeah?”
“Can we go to Disney World?” She asked me. Shelby giggled. Disney World was Lanie’s favorite place. Whenever she stayed with me I’d try to take her. We hadn’t been in a while. “It’s Mommy’s favorite place, too, and we haven’t been in a long time.” She explained.
“When you get better, I promise I’ll take both you and Mommy to Disney World,” I smirked down at Shelby. She glanced up at me with a smile. The movie continued to play on and Shelby began running her fingers through Lanie’s hair soothingly. Before we knew it, Lanie was out. “I should go turn off the movie. I can just sleep in the chair again and you and Lanie can have the bed.” I whispered down by Shelby’s ear.
She craned her neck towards me. “Don’t go…” she whispered. “If you get up, we’ll just wake her up. Besides, I’m comfortable if you’re comfortable.” She smiled. I smiled and kissed her forehead. I was very comfortable.
After only a few moments of closing my eyes, I was able to find sleep peacefully. It was the first time in the past few days that I could do so. Once I could hear Lanie’s soft, gentle breathing and feel Shelby’s body move with each peaceful breath, I, too, found sleep.
In the middle of my sleeping, I heard someone…crying? What was that noise? I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and managed to open them. “Lanie?” I whispered. In the dark, I could see her head hanging over the side of the bed.
“Daddy, I don’t feel good…” she sobbed. I gently shook Shelby and nodded towards Lanie. She was getting sick.
“Oh, baby,” Shelby whispered and pulled Lanie up so she wouldn’t fall off the bed. She picked up a pail by the side of the bed and held it for Lanie as she vomited. “Nick, can you call the nurse?” She asked me and pointed towards the call button next to the bed. I nodded and scurried around the girls over to the button. After pressing it three times, a nurse finally walked in.
“Everything alright?” She asked, as if Lanie’s throwing up was completely normal.
“Um, obviously not,” I shot back and looked back to where Shelby was helplessly cradling Lanie and pulling her hair back as she got sick. “Can you call the doctor?”
“Mr. Carter, vomiting is very common during the chemotherapy treatment,” she tried to explain rationally. How could this woman be so calm while Lanie was so violently sick? “Maybe try some ginger ale and crackers.” She smiled simply as if it wasn’t a big deal.
“Excuse me,” Shelby spoke up from the bed where Lanie was continually getting sick. “But I’ve researched chemotherapy time and time again. I know there’s an anti-sickness drug the doctor could prescribe. I understand that it’s 1:30 in the morning, but I’m sure you have a doctor on call. Can we speak with him please?” I was shocked, yet insanely grateful that Shelby had researched this like she did.
“It’ll be a minute,” the nurse replied rudely and stalked out of the room.
“Baby, we’re gonna have the doctor give you medicine to make you feel better, okay?” Shelby whispered into Lanie’s hair and kissed the top of her head. “Just take little breaths, okay?” Lanie nodded as we waited for the doctor to show.
How could this be happening? One minute Lanie was fine and now she has this disease inside of her that’s killing her, yet at the same time, the medicine is taking away all her energy, making her sick and hell, I had even read that her hair could be falling out. Why my baby girl? Why me?
Author's Chapter Notes:
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