“Brian, could you just shut up for two seconds, please?” I muttered and ran my fingers through my hair. “I could really use your support on this one instead of your complaining. Do you realize I’m freaking out here?” I tried to keep my voice low. Shelby was sitting with Lanie comforting her.
“Come on, Nick! How did you get her pregnant?” Brian sighed heavily. I could tell he was more than pissed at me. But honestly, I was starting to get pissed at him.
“How, Brian?!” I chuckled sarcastically. “Well, let’s see. How the fuck did you get Leighanne pregnant?!” I was losing my cool. I hadn’t lost it with anyone the past week and a half. But why was he being so insensitive.
“I didn’t mean how as in how. I meant how as in, how could you? You two aren’t anywhere near working things out and you go and get her pregnant?! How are you going to devote all your time to Lanie now? Huh? How are things going to get better, Nick?” All these questions and I didn’t have a damn answer.
“You don’t know what’s going on with Shelby and I right now, okay? You have no fucking clue so don’t start that shit with me,” I mumbled into the phone and stood up to pace the hallway.
“Watch your mouth, little brother,” I heard from behind me. I turned with a frown on my face to see the dark haired Kentucky man with a small smirk.
“Jesus. Brian, I’m gonna have to call you back,” I muttered and hung up. “Kevin? What are you doing here?” I walked towards him and threw my arms around him, completely happy to see someone from the outside. The past few days I had been around Shelby or the doctors or nurses, more recently even, her mom. I needed someone from my side there to support me.
“I heard you were having a rough time,” he hugged me back. Behind him, I saw Kristen and their almost four-month-old son, Mason.
“You could say that again,” I sighed as we pulled apart. “Hey Kristen,” I smiled and hugged her lightly, being careful not to squeeze Mason. “Hey little guy.” I smiled and played with his hand. “You really didn’t have to come all the way out here…” I sighed.
“We thought we’d make a vacation out of it,” he shrugged. “Kristen has some friends over here anyway.” He made it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. “Besides, I figured you could use some family support.” He winked. I smiled and nodded as we both sat down.
“Where’s Shelby?” Kristen asked as she bounced Mason playfully on her hip to keep him occupied.
“She’s in with Lanie. Lanie just got out of her chemo session and isn’t feeling too well,” I explained and nodded my head. Should I tell them? “Actually, uh, Shelby and I found out something today…” I trailed off. We all sat down in the hallway as I twiddled my thumbs in my lap. “Shelby found out she’s pregnant…” Kevin had no idea about anything that was going on, but I needed him to know. Even though I had always complained about him being the “father” of the group – always telling us what to do, how to do it and when to do it – I felt so much safer with him there.
“Wow,” Kevin’s eyes got big. Here it goes. He was gonna give me an earful, I could tell. “I’m…shocked. I didn’t realize you and Shelby were getting back together.” Okay, so that wasn’t as bad as I had expected. It could have been a lot worse.
“We’ve been talking about it the past two weeks and it just kinda happened,” I sighed. “I know I wasn’t smart to not use protection…it was an ‘in the moment’ kinda thing.” I muttered. “Shell and I don’t know what to do.” I looked to him for advice.
“Well,” Kevin sighed and looked down at the floor than back at me. “Nick, I really think you and Shelby have something special. Especially after you two can take care of Lanie together the way you do. Most divorced parents would give up. But, there’s also a reason you got divorced before. You’ve only been back around Shelby for two weeks.” He licked his lips and then continued. “I, also, think you’ve matured a lot since you and she split. You’re, obviously, proving that now.” He smiled.
To hear that from him really meant a lot to me. Sometimes I wasn’t sure if other people believed I had matured as much as I did. “Thanks, Kev.” I smiled and patted him on the back.
“I speak the truth,” he held his arms out and wrapped them around me in a tight hug. “I think you and Shelby should just take it day by day. That’s all you can do. You have nine months to think about what you’re going to do with a baby and how you’re going to handle things.” He assured me. I smiled and nodded.
“Thanks,” I sighed. “What about work? What should I do about the guys?” I mumbled. “That was Brian on the phone. They’re all getting really frustrated about not releasing the album.”
“Don’t take it too personally, Nick,” Kevin sighed. “The entire label is probably pressuring the guys to put it out – they want their money from the record sales. It’s not necessarily about you.” He started. “You know how I handled the situation…I left. But I don’t think that’s possible for you with the new album already being done.”
“And I don’t want to leave the band,” I sighed again. Being in the band was what I lived for…or it was what I had been living for before all of this. “The band is everything to me.”
“Sometimes you have to prioritize, Nick,” Kevin added. “Your family might really need you right now.” He was right, but did I really want to give up everything I had worked so hard for? “I’m not saying you have to leave the band…maybe you should sit down and talk to Shelby about it.”
“Include her in your decision,” Kristen piped up, continually bouncing Mason on her knee to keep him satisfied. I nodded and swallowed all my fear down. This would be a lot harder than I thought. I stood up and walked to the window to watch Shelby and Lanie. Lanie had her eyes closed and was resting in Shelby’s lap. Shelby was propped up against the wall, rocking Lanie back and forth soothingly.
“What’s more important, Nick? Your career or your family?” Kevin asked from behind me.
I knew what I would have said three weeks ago. But that was then and this was now. I knew what had to be done, but I also knew I’d be hurting so many people in the process. Either way I had to hurt someone. The question was, which way did I want to take?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was much later that night. Kevin and Kristen had taken Mason to the hotel across the street to get some rest and Shelby had gone to the cafeteria to get some dinner. I was proud of her. Today she had eaten all three meals. She really wanted to be strong for this baby and that made me want to be strong, too. “Hey, baby.” I smiled as Lanie opened her eyes slowly, waking up from her nap.
“Hi, daddy,” she yawned. “Is it tomorrow?” She frowned, looking around. I chuckled and shook my head ‘no’. The next day was her birthday. Every time she woke up from a nap she would ask us if it was her birthday yet.
“Not yet, baby. It’s still night time. Did you have a good nap?” I asked and crouched down closer to her to brush my hand over her forehead and check for a fever.
“Yep,” she smirked. “Daddy?” She asked me. “Why is mommy sad?” She questioned and cocked her head to the side. I frowned and kissed her forehead.
“What do you mean? Mommy’s not sad…” I tried to think of why Lanie would think that.
“Yeah she is,” she nodded. “She was crying. She said she’s scared, daddy. You should take care of her ‘cause I can’t. She always takes care of me. I think she needs somebody to take care of her,” Lanie said matter-of-factly. This kid continued to blow me away day after day.
“Oh, is that so?” I chuckled with a smile. “I’ll take care of mommy, okay. You don’t worry about it, though. She’ll be fine.” I assured her.
“Okay,” Lanie smiled and closed her eyes again. “Daddy, I’m sleepy. Sing to me?” She questioned. I smiled and nodded.
“Of course.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for all the reviews!! Unfortunately this is probably all for Saturday & possibly even Sunday. Family weekend is this weekend at my University and so I'll be fairly busy. But please keep the reviews coming!! I'll try to write in any spare time I find this weekend.
