As soon as Lanie had drifted off to sleep, I found my way downstairs to the cafeteria to see Shelby. She was sitting at a table for two sipping coffee and staring straight ahead. Her beautiful chocolate colored hair was thrown up in a messy bun. She had on an oversized sweatshirt with sweatpants. The way she was slouched over the table showed me just how much pain she was going through. I sighed and walked over, sitting across from her. “Hey.” She sighed and glanced around, woken out of her trance. “Sorry, it’s probably my turn to sit with Lanie, right?” She glanced down at her watch.
I put my hand on hers and shook my head. “That’s not why I’m here. Lanie’s sound asleep. I wanted to check on you.” I sighed and massaged the top of her hand with my thumb.
“Nick, I’m fine,” she sighed with a small smirk playing on her lips. “I’m going to make this work, okay? We can do this. We can take care of Lanie and raise a baby. It’s all going to work out.” I could tell she had done a lot of thinking. “Yeah, I’m scared about how I’m going to make it all work, but I think a baby’s good for me right now.”
“Shell,” I muttered and brought her hand to my lips to kiss it. “I agree, I think we can definitely pull through this and make it all work. We need to communicate a little, though…” I trailed off. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to talk about the album.
She frowned and cocked her head to the side in curiosity. “Communicate? Nick, I think we’re doing an amazing job communicating.” She laughed softly. “I never thought we’d communicate this much to tell you the truth.”
“There’s something I need to get off my chest,” I muttered. She became much more serious and straightened out a bit, waiting for what I had to say. “I’m not sure if you knew this or not, but the band’s putting out another album on October 30th. It’s a pretty big deal…I mean, we’ve been in the studio writing and recording ever since we finished touring for Never Gone. The album’s done…all they need from me is to tour…”
“T-Tour?” She stuttered and instinctively pulled her hand away from mine.
“Shell,” this was the exact reaction I was hoping I wouldn’t get but I knew would, evidently, be the one I received whether I liked it or not. “Please don’t get upset. I’m not telling you I’m going…because I’m not sure that’s what I want or need to do right now. I just need you to know and I need your opinion.”
“My opinion?” She scoffed. “Nick, are you fucking kidding me?” I could see the tears filling her eyes…I figured they were tears of anger. “Our daughter is battling cancer and I just told you I’m pregnant with our second child and we aren’t even married! You want to leave me now?” She shook her head. “You promised.”
“Baby, I’m not leaving,” I shook my head as she stood up from the table to walk away. “Shelby, I’m begging you to please sit down and just hear me out.” I said firmly. “Please.”
“Why should I?” She muttered and folded her arms over her chest. A solitary tear slipped down her cheek and she hastily reached up to wipe it away. She sighed out of defeat and plopped down. “I just can’t believe you, Nick. I trusted you again. I defended you when my mother told me I was getting myself into trouble again. You’ve changed, Nick. A lot. Don’t let these stupid temptations pull you back in.”
“I swear to you I’m not going back to that lifestyle,” I quickly defended myself. “No matter what happens, Shell. My life is for you and Lanie right now. Baby, I just don’t know what to do.” I rested me head in my hands as my elbows were propped up on the table. She was pissed at me and I didn’t blame her. I couldn’t believe it when I felt her reach over and place her hand on mine. I brought my head out of my hands and looked up at her curiously.
“Nick, I’m not going to control you,” she muttered. She was upset. I had only stressed her out more. “But I’m also not going to stand here and watch you walk away. I need you. But I know you, and I know you need your music. Maybe…maybe we can work something out.” She swallowed and looked down at the table. “Maybe you can go tour for two weeks and come back or something.” She shrugged. “And take shifts or whatever…” I could tell she wasn’t fond of the idea, but she was trying to accept it. Part of me felt happy she was actually considering, and the other part of me felt guilty for asking her to consider.
“I-I don’t know Shell,” I sighed. Before I could continue, she cut me off.
“Are you kidding me, Nick?! What? Do you want to disappear for longer than that or not come back or something?” She asked defensively. I didn’t blame her, to be honest. But I quickly interrupted her before she continued to get the wrong idea.
“No, no, no,” I shook my head quickly. “I wasn’t saying no to that…I was saying no to the tour in general. I mean, what am I thinking? There’s no way I would be able to tour right now and even focus on the music. I just don’t know what I’m going to tell the guys.” I gnawed on the inside of my lip and sighed.
“Wait a second…” Shelby closed her eyes and her brow creased in confusion. “You mean to tell me you’re actually considering telling them no? Just for me and Lanie?”
“No,” I shook my head. “I’m telling saying no for sure, I’m not considering. And no, it’s not just for you and Lanie. It’s for me, too. I can’t do it, Shell. I know I can’t.”
“Baby,” she sighed and brought my hand to her lips and kissed it. “Thank you.” She smiled. I smiled back and walked across to the other side of the table and pulled her up so I could hold her in my arms. “Really, I can’t thank you enough. I don’t know how I’d make it work.” She sighed and buried her face in my chest.
I kissed the top of her head. “You could do it…I have faith in you. But I should never ask you to do that by yourself.” It was strange, it would feel so weird having the guys release the album without me. But at the same time, I felt so great about the decision I had made. “Now I just need to call the guys.” I chuckled as we pulled away and started to walk back towards the elevator to get to Lanie’s room.
“You can do it,” she smiled and kept a hold on my hand. “I have faith in you.” She repeated what I had said moments before and squeezed my hand with a wink.
“Thanks,” I smirked. As soon as we got to Lanie’s room, I dropped her hand. “How about you go in and sit with her while she sleeps? I’ll give the guys a call…” I sighed and she nodded. She leaned up and kissed me softly.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you…” she started softly. I hushed her with another soft kiss and pulled back.
“You don’t have to,” I said softly. She smirked and walked into the room to check on Lanie where her mom was sitting. I pulled out my cell phone while I tried to think of what to say, exactly. After the first two rings, Kenneth, our manager, picked up.
“Hello?” I heard his voice.
“Kenneth, it’s Nick,” I said and sat down in one of the chairs in the hallway. “By any chance, are the other guys there?” I asked.
“Yeah, they are,” he said. “I’ll put you on speaker.”
“Thanks,” I licked my lips and sighed. After I heard them all say ‘hello’, I decided to continue. “Hey guys, I just wanted to check in with you and let you know what was going on. Uh, Lanie’s feeling a little better, I guess. She had a really bad fever the other day, but the doctor told us it’s all normal. I think we’re going to try and take her home tomorrow morning.” I decided to give them a little bit of background info.
“That’s great, Nick,” Howie spoke up. “We’re glad everything’s okay.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off. “I know it’s just about five o’clock over there,” I glanced at my watch. I knew the guys were in Florida at the moment with Kenneth at the studio in Orlando. “So I know you want to get out of the office…but I wanted to let you know where I stand with the album release. Listen, I’ve talked to Shelby and I’ve decided that I don’t want to leave her side right now. I’m not sure if Brian told you guys, but Shelby’s pregnant. I just can’t leave right now. I don’t want anything to happen to Lanie, either. I want you guys to release the album without me. Maybe we can put off touring for a little while…” I sighed and ran my hand over my face.
“How long, Nick?” Brian asked. Why was he the one so upset with everything? He seemed to be the only one that didn’t understand.
“Long enough until I can make sure Lanie and Shelby are okay. Maybe someday soon Lanie will be well enough to travel with me on the road…but right now, she’s still getting used to the chemotherapy,” I tried to explain.
“We understand, Nick. You guys waited for me when I went through my addiction,” AJ spoke up. It brought a smile to my face just knowing that he understood. “It sucks that we need to put it off, but I’m sure everyone will understand. The fans were there for us when we had to put off the band for five years. I’m sure they’ll wait around for a few more months.”
“Thanks, Aje,” I sighed with a smile. “You guys have no idea what it means to me just knowing you’re okay with this and you’re supporting me.” I tried to hint at Brian.
“We’re there for ya, man,” Kenneth said. “We’ll still plan on releasing the album October 30th. Brian, AJ and Howie can make an appearance with E! or something and explain what’s going on. Maybe you can put an article out with a magazine?” He suggested.
“Absolutely,” I nodded.
“Alright, man. Hang in there. Give me a call every now and then letting me know what’s going on. Congrats to you and Shelby,” Kenneth responded.
“Thanks, man,” I smirked. “Bye.” After we hung up, I felt relieved. This would all work out.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks so much for all the reviews!! Keep them coming =] I'll post more soon!
