“Brian! Leighanne!” Shelby grinned from the doorway. “I’m so glad we got to have you all over. Hey Baylee.” She kneeled down to his level. “How are you, munchkin?” She winked.
“Fine,” Baylee smirked and peeked over her shoulder. As soon as he spotted Lanie, his smirk turned into a large smile. “LANIE!” He cheered and ran over to greet her.
“Bay, be gentle,” Leighanne commanded from the foyer. She smirked and hugged Shelby. “How are you? Is everything going okay?” She asked. Shelby nodded and smiled. Leighanne moved her way down the line to greet me next. She gave me a big hug as Brian stepped up to see Shelby.
“Thanks for having us over, Shell,” he kissed her cheek politely and gave her a tight squeeze.
“Oh, please. Thank you,” Shelby smiled. “Nick and I could really use this mini vacation, wherever it is he’s taking me.” She grinned back at me. “We’re just so appreciative we could have you guys come in and sit with Lanie for a day. We don’t trust many people with her.” She complimented.
“We’re honored,” he beamed. Shelby and Leighanne disappeared into the kitchen to set up for the dinner we were having. The plan was we’d all have a nice dinner, and then the next day Shelby and I were leaving.
“You wanna get a beer and sit out back for a little while?” I asked Brian. I knew I would need to confront him eventually about why he was being so insensitive about the entire situation. He nodded and smiled as he saw Lanie and Baylee walking towards us holding hands.
“Hi Miss. Lanie,” Brian greeted and knelt down to her level. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?” He asked as he gave her a gentle squeeze.
“I’m good Uncle Brian,” she smiled and kissed his cheek.
“I’m so glad, honey. You two play nice, okay?” Brian said as we headed towards the back porch where there was a mini bar. We sat down and started enjoying a drink. “I’m glad Lanie’s kinda hit a steady path right now in her illness…” Brian tried to be positive.
“Yeah, it’s great,” I nodded. “She’s really starting to get used to the chemo now. She doesn’t get as sick as she used to and she hasn’t had a high fever in weeks.” I smiled. It was so weird. The typical parent would be content knowing their child hadn’t gotten a fever in a year. With Shelby and I, we were thrilled to know Lanie hadn’t had a fever in a week.
“That’s great,” Brian nodded. He was being cordial, but the atmosphere was so thick. There was tension and I was so confused as to why.
“Brian, can I ask you something?” I put my drink down on the bar and turned fully towards him. He frowned but nodded.
“Sure, Nick,” he encouraged me to continue.
“Are you mad at me or something? Upset? Frustrated? Do you have any negative feelings toward me?” I questioned. He seemed shocked that I was asking. He set his drink down, as well, and focused on me.
“Why would you ask me that, Nick? Of course I don’t…” he trailed off. I frowned once more. Was he serious? He had been so angry with me it seemed and now he had no idea what I was talking about?
“Brian, ever since I told you guys I couldn’t work on the tour anymore, you’ve been completely unsupportive. I mean, yeah, you came with me to the hospital when Lanie was diagnosed and I still can’t thank you enough. But ever since…you’ve treated me differently…” I was expecting him to fly off the handle. I was expecting him to lose his cool. But instead, he glanced down at the bar and fidgeted with his drink a little. “Bri?”
“I-I…” he trailed off. “I was a little upset with you, Nick, I’ll admit. I guess not even upset or mad…or frustrated, even. Well, maybe a little frustrated,” he sighed.
“Why?” I frowned, curious as to what I had done this time.
“Nick, do you realize that there are times I’ve wanted to just take a break from touring to spend time with my wife and son? Sure, they come on tour with us a lot…but when they don’t, I miss them so much. I miss so much that happens with Baylee. Kids grow up fast. I’m so tired of missing things. And Leigh. God, she’s my wife…I’d like to get some quality time with her every now and then. But I’ve never been able to do that, Nick. I’ve never been able to stop because I’ve wanted to stop. When AJ went to rehab, yes, we were all able to work on our personal goals. And I came out with a son. But still. All of a sudden you decide your family matters to you and we have to stop touring,” he rambled off.
I was shocked. Somewhat insulted, but mostly shocked. “I never knew you felt that way.” I managed to mumble. “I don’t think you’re playing fair, Brian. How can you say that my family didn’t matter to me before all of this, huh? Lanie’s my daughter for Christ’s sake.” I spat. How dare he tell me I never cared about my family before Lanie got sick?
“Where was Lanie living before she got sick, Nick?” He shot back. “Were you even on speaking terms with Shelby? And now she’s pregnant?!” He exclaimed.
“You of all people should know I’ve changed by now,” I was starting to get angry. I didn’t even notice the tears filling my eyes until one pooled over the corner and cascaded down my cheek. “I love Shelby and Lanie more than anything in life. And you and your God shit should know that everything happens for a reason. And yeah, I pray every day asking why my daughter? Why my family? But you know what? I think I’ve finally realized…this sickness has pulled us all in closer as a family. I want to spend the rest of my life with Shelby and Lanie. I am so excited to have this baby with her. Can it be my turn now, Brian? Can I have my turn to experience what you’ve had with your family?” It was more a rhetorical question than anything, but I watched the expression on his face turn from anger and frustration to sympathy.
“I didn’t realize you felt so strongly…” he trailed off and took a quick swig from his beer.
“You didn’t realize because you never asked,” I muttered and took a gulp from mine. I shook my head and sighed. “Shit, Brian. I just…I thought you were one of my best friends. I used to be able to come to you whenever I needed advice or if I had a problem. I just don’t get it.”
“Nick, how would you feel if you and Shelby stayed married at this point in time and Lanie was perfectly healthy, but you were told we were gonna fly across the world to tour and promote an album and you wouldn’t see either of them for a while? Baylee’s about to start up a school program and he can’t just tag along as much anymore. You’d be missing so much. How would you feel?” He repeated. I looked down at my glass and turned it slightly on the table.
“I’m sorry,” I shrugged. “I didn’t ask for my daughter to have cancer so I could stay at home with her. What would you do if Baylee had cancer? Do you honestly think me, AJ and Howie would be pissed at you for having to stop the tour? Shouldn’t you be happy with me? Now you get to go home with them for a while,” I just didn’t understand where he was coming from with this one.
He bit his bottom lip gently and glanced back up at me with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Nick.” He said genuinely. “I never really thought about it that way…I could never imagine Baylee being as sick as Lanie.”
Yeah, I was pissed at him for being such a jackass. And yes, he didn’t have any right to turn against me the way he did. But no harm was done. And it seemed…fixed. “It’s alright, man.” I shrugged it off. “I just…I want us to be okay, ya know?” I mumbled and ran my fingers through my hair.
“Hey,” he caught my attention and nodded at me. “I really am sorry. And I do want us to be okay. I want us to be the way we were before…” he grinned. I knew he meant our goofy, silly selves. I chuckled and finished off my beer.
“I couldn’t agree more.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks so much for all the reviews! Here's the next chappy =] Keep the reviews coming!! I'm feeling kinda generous today since the album came out ;] Maybeee I'll post another chapter today if I get a bunch of reviews!
