“So…how did you figure out about the cancer?” I finally managed to ask. Shelby and I had been talking for about twenty minutes now, and I was curious as to how they had found out Lanie was sick.
Shelby swallowed all the sadness she had in her. “I knew you would ask,” she sighed. “And I definitely don’t blame you for wanting to know…it’s just…I’ve been dreading this moment.” She paused again and glanced down at her hands, almost for some kind of reassurance. “It’s been a few months, ago. I’ve been in and out of the pediatrician’s office so frequently, I swear I think my insurance has wanted to drop me.” She sighed. “She’s been having fevers a lot lately and she’s been nauseous. I was worried that she had a really bad case of the flu or worse, she was suffering from appendicitis or something. I read somewhere that with appendicitis there’s usually a fever and the patient is usually nauseous…” she trailed on.
“Shelly--” I slipped up by calling her by a nickname I had called her when we were together. My mouth hung open as she watched me turn red. “Sorry, it slipped. We haven’t really had this long of a conversation in a while…I guess I just let the memories turn into reality…”
“It’s okay,” she shook her head. “I know this is weird for us, Nick. I mean, for God’s sake, we haven’t been able to have a ten minute conversation civilly for years. Not only are we trying to get used to the fact that our daughter has cancer, but the fact that we have to talk to each other again.”
Her last statement kinda threw me. I didn’t feel like we had to talk to each other. I mean, like that nurse had said. We could have completely ignored each other and come in on separate days to spend time with Lanie. But no. Of course I drove in immediately to see Lanie, but I really wanted to be there for Shelby. “I-I agree.” Was all I could manage to say.
“I mean, this is all so new to me,” she sighed and shook her head. “And, to you, of course.” She nodded towards me. “I just…it’s been so long since I’ve talked to you.” She seemed so confused. I didn’t blame her…honestly. I felt the same way she did. “And things at home have been crazy lately. I think I’m probably losing my job at the hospital--” She began, but I cut her off.
“Wait, what?” I frowned. “Why in the world would they fire you? They need nurses more than ever now.”
“Ask them,” she sighed and shook her head. “I’ve been so busy lately. When Lanie started getting sick, I would constantly call in sick or need to come in late. I felt bad enough as it was always leaving her. My mom thinks it’s for the best because I can spend more time with her. But I just don’t know what I’m gonna do…” I knew she wanted to say “financially” but she wouldn’t.
“Here,” I pulled out my wallet to see what I had in it. She put her hand on mine and shook her head.
“No,” she pushed it away. “I don’t need the money, Nick. But thank you.” She smiled. I shook my head and tried to hand it to her again.
“Think of it as an early child support payment,” I shrugged. “You take care of Lanie most of the time. The least I could do was hand over some money, especially if you’re struggling.”
“I’m not struggling,” she shook her head to reassure me. I sighed and put the money away, determined I would get it to her somehow or another. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do.” Her shoulders slumped down and her face looked down at the table for support.
I squeezed her hand again. “I know I’ve said this already…but it’s going to be okay,” I said, not completely sure of myself. “Listen, let’s just take it one day at a time.” She nodded. “I know you’re worried. I’m worried, too. But we both need some sleep. How about tonight we go across the street to that hotel they were telling us about?” I realized after I said it how wrong it sounded. “I mean, we could get a suite with two beds and I’ll take care of everything.” I quickly explained.
“I don’t know if I can leave Lanie. But you go, Nick,” she, luckily, didn’t catch on to what I had said.
“Lanie is going to be fine,” I said firmly. “The doctor isn’t starting chemo until this weekend. You aren’t going to be able to take care of her until you get more sleep.”
She seemed unsure, but reluctantly, she agreed. “Fine. We’ll stay in the hotel tonight.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
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