“Please, if anything happens…anything at all, give us a call,” I could tell Shelby was really hesitant to leave Lanie. I didn’t blame her, to be honest. I was hesitant to leave, too. But I knew we needed to. Both Shelby and I were mentally and physically exhausted.
“Mrs. Carter, we will call if we notice any changes in your daughter’s case. But right now, all she needs is sleep. And I can assure you that you’ll feel much better tomorrow if you get some sleep as well,” the doctor reassured us. Shelby nodded and pulled her hair back in a high pony tail. I sighed as we walked out of the hospital, making our way towards the hotel.
“How are we supposed to do this, Nick?” She asked me softly. The streetlights and headlights from the cars lit the sky so we could see our way to the hotel. At first, I didn’t understand what she was asking me.
“What do you mean?” I frowned.
“This. Cancer. How are we supposed to do this?” She questioned again. It was a valid question; I hadn’t really come up with an answer yet. Honestly, the whole day-by-day thing was working for me.
“I-I don’t know, Shell,” I mumbled and kicked at a rock on the ground. “It’s only the second day. I mean, I don’t really know what’s going to happen just yet. I think we really need to just stay strong for Lanie. That’s all I can think of.”
“Who’s supposed to be strong for us?” She managed to muster under her breath as we finished crossing the road. I glanced down at her sympathetically. Shelby and I had a rough relationship – one where we knew we needed to at least stay in touch for Lanie’s sake, but also one where (for some reason) we couldn’t stand eachother. I was thankful every day that Shelby kept me in Lanie’s life, but I wondered why Shell and I couldn’t work out our differences. Hell, most days I wondered how those differences even started in our lives.
“I’m strong for you,” I nudged her gently. “I know we’ve had a rough time the past few years, Shell. But I want you to know that I love Lanie more than anything. And you’re the woman that gave me Lanie. I’m going to be here for you forever…” So it may have sounded corny; it made have sounded cliché. But it was the honest truth.
In the small glow from a streetlight above, I glanced down and saw tears in her eyes. “Damn, I thought there weren’t any tears left,” she tried to joke. “Thank you…” she mumbled softly afterwards. It seemed as though there was more there she wanted to say, but instead we walked through the automatic doors and up to the front desk.
After getting the key to the room, we made our way to the elevators. “BJ said she’d bring us both clean clothes tomorrow morning whenever she came back to the hospital. So we can probably just shower then.”
“Okay,” Shelby nodded as we got in the elevator and I pushed the button for the second floor. “I’d really like to be at the hospital tomorrow right at seven…Lanie’s an early riser and I don’t want her to wake up and us not be there.” A smirk formed over my lips. “What?” She smirked back. I was glad she could finally smile – her smile was absolutely breathtaking.
“Nothing,” I shrugged. “I just think you’re an amazing mom. And I appreciate you saying ‘us’ and not just wanting you to be there…” I really did want to be apart of Lanie’s life more. Especially now that she was sick. What kind of a father was I to never be there for my own daughter? She was everything to me, and the past few days had honestly made that more clear to me.
“I’m not an amazing mom,” Shelby shook her head. “And of course I included you. Nick, to be perfectly honest with you, I’m really surprised you came back. I was worried you wouldn’t care because I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes…”
She was right. She could be a pain in the ass sometimes. But I knew I, too, could be quite a pain. As the elevator stopped, we lowered our voices so we wouldn’t wake anyone else.
“Shell, we’ve both had our faults together and raising Lanie, okay? But let’s just make a deal…” I began. She watched intently as I opened the door to the hotel room and closed it behind us. “Let’s work on ‘us’ as well as our relationship with Lanie the next few weeks. I think this will bring us all closer together, and that way we can stop blaming ourselves or each other for everything. Because nothing that ever happened was one hundred percent your fault or mine.”
She smiled and nodded. “I like that idea.” She said softly. I smiled and opened my arms to her for a hug. She stepped into them and held on tightly. “Just promise me something…” she whispered.
“Anything,” I whispered back.
“I really need you right now,” she admitted. “I can’t do this by myself or even with my family, because they don’t understand the situation like you and I do. Promise me you won’t leave?”
I smiled. She felt the same way I did. The two of us did have one thing in common at this point; our daughter was sick and needed both of us to be there for her. “I promise.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm back!!
So, I read over this story today [because I was really missing the characters] and I decided to return to it. I'm still working on BITL, as well. And that's my main focus. But sometimes it's nice to have another story to switch gears on.
So, R&R! Sorry it's been so long!
So, I read over this story today [because I was really missing the characters] and I decided to return to it. I'm still working on BITL, as well. And that's my main focus. But sometimes it's nice to have another story to switch gears on.
So, R&R! Sorry it's been so long!
