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It had been a week since Nick and Emily returned from Michigan. Since then, they had only spoken once, and Emily went out of her way to avoid Nick. She wasn’t upset with him for how the outcome of her confrontation with her parents turned out, but she felt uncomfortable around him. He saw a side of total weakness from her, and had Nick not been there, Emily was sure she wouldn’t have made it through. The realization of the whole situation scared Emily. When it came down to it, she needed Nick. He was her rock, and he got her through every hard time she’d ever faced and without him, she would fail. But trusting Nick to always be there was another story. Emily loved Nick and she wanted to be with him, but she was too afraid of getting hurt to take the chance. After losing six weeks of her life to a coma, she wanted to make sure that every decision was the right choice so her life would always be completely fulfilled.

Nick’s actions from the past caused so much doubt in Emily’s mind that no matter how much she loved him, she was too afraid to try. Still, Nick called every day, leaving message after message. He came to her house hoping she’d be home, but every day, she was conveniently gone. He tried and tried, hopelessly and endlessly, but his actions never gave Emily the security she needed. There were days when Nick felt like giving up. If he couldn’t convince her now, then she’d never be convinced. It was easier to walk away when he was being pushed so far, but his heart never seemed to let him go. At the end of the day, he was still leaving a message on Emily’s phone, confessing his love, revealing his own weakness to her, and pleading with her for just a chance.

Through the last few months, A.J. had been the one to step up the most for Nick to support him in any way he could. Consequently, he was the one Nick called when all hope seemed lost with Emily. After feeling like Emily was slipping away, Nick began to break down, eventually turning to A.J. for the support he was desperate for.

Ring.

“Hello?”

“A.J.? What’s up, man? It’s Nick.”

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Nothing good, Bro. I’m dying here.”

“Why, what’s going?”

“It’s Emily. I can’t do anything right with her.”

“What do you mean? I thought you guys were doing really
good?”

“We were in a lot of ways, but she won’t commit to me and now she’s avoiding me like the plague. I don’t know what to do. I can’t do anything right and she won’t talk to me and help me fix it. I feel like I’m losing her.”

“She’s scared, Nick. What do you expect? You hurt her
so much in the past and now you’re asking her to trust you with her heart. It’s not gonna be that easy.”

“I know, but I’ve changed.”

“Yea, but have you changed enough, and more importantly, have you changed enough for Emily?”

“How can I know when she won’t tell me?”

“Nick, life isn’t always simple. Some things… the best things, you have to fight for. I don’t know what you should do, but I do know that if you give up, she’ll be right.”

“Right about what, though?”

“You breaking her heart. She’s afraid you can’t honestly commit. So if you run now because it’s hard, she’ll be right. She has to be wrong in order for both of you to win. It’s not easy, Nick, and I’m not gonna sit here and lie and say it is, but sometimes you just have to deal with it.”

“I don’t mind dealing with it, A.J., I really don’t. She’s so worth it. It’s just that it’s really hard to keep fighting when she won’t tell me what I’m fighting for. I feel like it’s a losing battle, ya know? It’s like fighting for a prize you know doesn’t exist.”

“Your prize exists, Nick. It’s just hiding. She won’t stay away forever.”

“I really hope you’re right because forever without her doesn’t really appeal to me.”

A.J. laughed at the comment, knowing Nick was serious but finding it humorous anyway.

“The fact that you feel that way gives you the advantage. Just hang in there, Nick. She’ll come around.”

“It’s funny, everyone keeps saying that and she still isn’t her.”

“You know what’s funnier?”

“What?”

“Up until a few months ago, she was the one that kept hearing that. It’s karma, Bro. You just gotta deal with it. Hang in there.”

“Yea, I guess. Later, dawg.

“Later.”


It was obvious that Nick and Emily would be chasing each other in circles if they kept up their behavior, so on Nick’s behalf, A.J. took matters into his own hands.

“Hello?”

“Hey, you. It’s A.J.”

“Hi, A.J.! How are you?”

“Well, I’m doing pretty good, but I might know someone that isn’t.”

“Might?”

“Well, the thing is, I haven’t figured out if it’s you or Nick.”

She sighed knowing he was up to no good, “What exactly are you talking about, Alex?”

He laughed at the usage of his real name, “Well, you’re running from Nick, and Nick is falling to pieces. Who’s worse off, the one who can’t face fears or the one who can’t face loneliness?”

“And which one is which, oh wise one?”

“Mock me all you want, but you’ll be thanking me for this later.”

“I’m sure I will be,” she retorted sarcastically.
A.J. ignored the sarcasm feeling uninterested in the bickering it would lead to.

“I think in many ways, you’re both having issues with
each side.”

“A.J., what are you getting at?” She asked feeling annoyed.

“I told you Nick was different. You didn’t believe me. He’s gone out of his way to prove it to you, and you run. What more is he supposed to do, Em? You won’t consider his actions, yet you’re demanding so much from him.”

“Maybe I don’t want to get hurt, A.J. Did you ever think of that?”

“Yup, I considered it a few times. Wanna know what I came up with?”

“Not really.”

“Too bad. As far as Nick hurting you, yeah, he’s done it in the past, but has he done it since your accident? He was there for you in ways no one else has ever been. What he did for you all those weeks, and even all the weeks after is more than anyone could rightfully ask for, but you didn’t have to ask. He just did it. Why isn’t that enough alone? Then he keeps going, and he keeps doing more and more to try and prove his self to you and all you do is run further away. Emily, I understand you’re scared, but so is he. If you keep pushing him, eventually he won’t come back, and I really, really hope that that’s not what you’re going for.

“Ugh, A.J., you know it’s not.”

“No, I don’t, Emily. All I see is this guy who fell madly in love with you to the point that he dropped every bad characteristic he possessed just to please you, and every night he’s in pain because you won’t even talk to him. He can’t do more if you don’t tell him what to do, Em.”

She didn’t reply for a moment, thinking about A.J.’s words. It was then that she realized how reversed her and Nick had come. Now, he was chasing her, and she was the one afraid of commitment. She wanted Nick, and she did love him. The thought of completely losing him scared her more than the thought of Nick hurting her.

Finally, she replied, “Ok, I’ll go talk to him.”

“Good luck,” A.J. wished her.

“Thanks.”


Nick heard the sound of knocking on his front door, and he quickly hit the pause button on his video game so he could address his visitor. As he made his way through the hallways, he curiously wondered who was waiting to see him. When he finally made it to the door, he was surprised to see Emily standing in front of him.

“Hi,” he said, unsure of what more he could say.

“Hi, Nick,” she shyly replied then continued, “Can I come in?”

He smiled at her insecurity, “Of course.”

They walked into his living room, the site of many deep conversations and boundless one-sided love confessions.
As Emily remembered the moments she’d shared with Nick on his couch in that living room, the guilt within her soul became more prominent and more painful.

“I’m really sorry, Nick. I’ve been stupid, and I know I was wrong. You’ve been so great to me, and I haven’t done anything to deserve it. I’m really, really sorry.”

“Emily, you don’t have to apologize. I know this has been hard on you. It’s ok.”

“No, it’s not, Nick. Maybe it’s okay for me to be afraid, but it’s not okay for me to run from you when all you’re trying to do is help me.”

“But I understand. Emily, I ran from you for years. I know how you’re feeling.”

“I’m just so afraid of getting hurt, Nick.”

“I won’t hurt you, Emily. I couldn’t if I tried. I love you way too much to ever hurt you again.”

She didn’t realize it, but she was crying now.

“It makes me so happy to hear you say that, Nick. It really does, but you’ve only been this new and improved guy for a few months. What if you slip up and hurt me? I couldn’t take that, Nick. It’s so hard to take such a chance with so little support behind it.”

“You know, in some ways I think your coma affected me more than you.”

She looked at him puzzled, “What do you mean?”

“A lot of people, when they almost lose their life, their perspectives change. You know, they become more open minded and they take more risks because they're so afraid of missing out or losing the chance to experience that they want do everything and try everything whether it’s good or bad. Even if they know it might turn out bad in the end, they’ll do it anyone because they don’t know if they’ll ever get the chance to do it again. That’s how I feel with you. All I ever did was screw things up between us, and I took what we had for granted, but now I’m so afraid I’ll never get the chance to show you what kind of person I can be for you that it’s all I really want to do. I just want to be right for you and make you happy, and I’ll take any risk to prove myself to you. You’re the opposite. You’re so afraid of that risk turning out bad that you’re refusing to take it. You’re willing to pass up the one thing you always wanted so that fear can get the best of you. Is it worth it?”

His words were circulating through her head repetitively. The deepness of Nick’s observation impressed Emily, but it also scared her. He was right, but she was still afraid. She feared that his faithfulness would relapse, and she’d find herself surrounded by the familiar pain and tears he’d caused her so many times before. She loved this main with all of her heart, but her heart feared him in every way. It seemed like there was nothing Nick could ever do or say to make Emily trust him, but still, he would try and he would continue trying until she gave him a chance.

“I’ll be right back,” Nick abruptly said before Emily could respond. He got up and walked away with no explanation for his departure. He was only gone a few minutes, but when he returned he had Emily’s undivided attention.

“What are you doing,” she asked, surprised to see him holding his guitar.

“I want to sing you a song. Just listen.”

Remembering his similar actions in the hospital room, Nick began to strum his guitar. He sang the lyrics to the song he’d written intensely and full of emotion. He hoped the words would strike a nerve in Emily’s heart, and she’d see Nick for what he really was.

Emily listened carefully, the words reigning over her head tauntingly.

And I know that you can’t trust me right now
But you know you have to try some how

She wondered if it was irony or intentional, but for some reason, those words alone made her feel more like she was making a mistake than anything Nick had done or said since she’d woken up. As Nick kept singing, Emily kept doubting, but this time, she was doubting herself.

Ooh You’re sleeping your life away
Because you’re too afraid (too afraid)
And you’re running from the pain
That I once made (I once made)
But I promise I’ll love you like that (love you like that)
Yea and I promise I won’t take it back (won’t take it back)

Nick’s voice was soothing and sincere. His words were beautifully presented to Emily, and for some reason, she couldn’t help but believe him.

When Nick stopped playing, Emily was distracted by a strange feeling of remembrance.

“That was really good, Nick. I think I’ve heard it before. Who wrote it?”

Nick looked at her mystified, “I did. I wrote it for you while you were in the hospital.”

Now Emily was bewildered, “But I remember it. I’ve heard it before.”

“I played it for you.”

“Oh,” she said, not meaning to sound ungrateful, but still unsure of what just happened. “I like it a lot. It was really beautiful.”

“I’d only do it for you.”

She smiled at him, realizing exactly why she loved him.