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Once again, the night seemed to drag on. Sleepless and lonesome, Nick spent the hours in between night and day fighting his dwelling thoughts that kept taking him back to the pain he knew he had caused Emily. After spending the entire previous day in her hospital room, he regretted his past even more, and with each passing second, the regret became harder to bear. It was one thing for Nick to absentmindedly hurt someone, but it was a completely different feeling of betrayal now that he realized all he had done. It was the kind of feeling with the kind of intensity that could drive a man insane. Still, Nick fought his conscience desperately to keep from breaking down. He had to be strong for Emily, and he intended to do just that.

After giving up on sleep for the second night in a row, Nick started his day early, somewhat enjoying the daylight. The bright light beaming through his windows quickly reminded him of Emily’s love for the sun. She hated darkness and always preferred the world to be bright and cheery. Nick, on the other hand, typically preferred the evenings and the two would sometimes clash between day and night.


“Nick, wake up!”

The motionless body before her incoherently released a foreign noise in the form of a grunt. Doing everything within her power not to laugh, Emily again attempted to awaken the man that lay before her.

“Nick, seriously. Wake up! The day’s almost over!” She exaggerated and she knew it.

Again, a grunt escaped his body as he rolled over to hide his face from the taunting woman in front of him.

“Nick?” She said more aggressively this time.

The body rolled over again, but this time onto his back. He opened his eyes, glaring at her in complete disgust.

“What do you want?” He asked in a complaining tone then paused in confusion, “And why aren’t you in your own room?”

Emily, without saying a word, climbed on top of the bed and straddled Nick’s body.

“Can I help you?” Nick asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

“Yes, you can get your big butt out of bed.” Emily smiled.

“Ugh, what time is anyway?” He groaned.

“It’s after seven.”

“What?! Seven? In the morning? Are you nuts?” Nick put his hands over his face in disbelief that Emily had awakened him so early.

“Oh, grow up, Carter. There’s more life when you’re actually awake. You should be thanking me.”

Nick grabbed Emily and pulled her down to his side. He wrapped his arms tightly around her body as she rested her head on his chest.

“No, I should be kicking your butt.” He smiled, but she couldn’t see it. “So what exactly are we doing today that I need be awake so early?”

“Whatever, Nick. I don’t care what we do. I’m just glad I get to be with you.”

Nick smiled again and Emily could hear the playful laughter in his voice when he replied, “You need to stop being so in love with me.”

“Shut up, Carter.”


“Nick, what’s with all the balloons? There has to be twenty in there?” Janet asked in surprise.

“I don’t know. Her room is just so depressing. It needs to be brighter and happier. It needs more life. And there’s thirty, actually.”

“Well forgive me,” Janet joked. “So you just spent a hundred dollars on balloons for a girl you aren’t even dating?”

Nick was caught off guard by the question. He wasn’t dating her, and he had already stated that it had been a mistake, but he also knew that Janet was trying to fish more details out of him; details even he didn’t have sorted out. He had to avoid the question and did so simply.

“Good-bye, Janet,” he said with a smile and went into Emily’s room.

This time, the trip from the front doors to Emily’s room was a little easier. It still pained Nick to know that this even had to happen, but it also comforted him knowing that she would be okay. He knew she would. Emily did things to her own discretion, and Nick never once expected her to change that feature she possessed, coma or not. When she was ready to wake up, she would, and Nick intended to protect her for the rest of her life.

Upon entering the room, Nick’s heart slowed down as the now familiar guilt entered his mind. He hated seeing her like this. There was nothing in the world he wouldn’t do to turn back time just forty-eight hours.

“Hi, Em. I’m back, just like I promised. I brought you some balloons. Thirty, actually,” Nick laughed at the ridiculousness of his own purchase. “I just thought you needed something to liven up your room.” He let go of the balloons, and they dispersed in every direction.

Silently, Nick stood in the room examining what was before him. He couldn’t help but see an innocent girl in pain, and all alone. He suddenly noticed how dark the room seemed, and his need to please Emily overcame him.

“It’s dark in here. Doesn’t anybody open the blinds for you?” Angrily, he walked over to the window and quickly opened the blinds. He immediately squinted at the bright light that was now shining into the room. Despite his moment of discomfort, he was satisfied knowing that Emily would have been happy with his gesture. Her happiness was all that mattered to him.

“You know something, if you keep this up, you’re gonna get your wish. I’m gonna have no choice but to like the mornings.” Nick continued to make pointless conversations with the body he was watching over every day, and each time it made him feel closer to Emily. It made Nick feel less like she was slipping away, or that she even left. In some ways, it took the seriousness of the situation and just made the moments feel right.

He didn’t want to treat Emily like she was unaware because he had this feeling in his heart that she was very aware of everything that was going on around her. It was the test; the test that Sam had mentioned the night before. There was no telling when Emily would wake up, but while she was asleep, she’d be watching over Nick the same way he was watching over her. Every mistake he made or fault that occurred, she would see it and she’d never cut him any slack for it. She never had, and he knew she never will.


“Ugh!”

Emily could hear the pounding on her front door and she knew she did not want to answer it. She also knew, however, that until she did answer, it would never end.

Angrily, Emily got up and rushed to the door. The pounding was consistent and seemed to be getting louder as the time passed. As she neared the door, she could hear a voice yelling, “Emily, open the door!” She wanted to kill him.

Forcefully, Emily swung the door open and yelled, “What?!”

The man before he froze, staring blankly into her eyes. She looked shattered and hurt, and it was his fault.

“Can I please come in?” He asked softly.

“No, Nick. You can’t!” She was nearly yelling. “Why are you here? You don’t care about anything but yourself. You have no reason to be here.” She didn’t mean to sound so hateful, but he hurt her. He hurt badly.

“I’m sorry, Em. I swear to God, I’m sorry. If I wasn’t, do you really think I’d be here right now? If I didn’t care about you the way you think I don’t, would I be here? Just please let me in,” Nick pleaded with her.

After considering his argument, she pushed the door open and walked into the kitchen, thus granting Nick permission to enter her home. This conversation was one Emily dreaded beyond belief. Usually, she could handle Nick’s behavior, but this time he really hurt her, and she knew it would eventually break her. She didn’t want that to happen, though. Nick knew that she was in love with him, but she still hated it when he saw her so vulnerable and so fragile. But now he was there, and it had to be dealt with.

“Em? I’m really, really sorry. I know it’s no excuse, but I honestly just forgot about our plans. I’m not gonna lie to you about it, and give you some logical explanation. I just flat out forgot.”

“How could you forget I was flying in from another state to see you, Nick? Do you have any idea how bad that hurts me? Do you know what it feels like to be so unappreciated by your best friend that he can’t even remember to stay in the same state to see you? For the first time in your life, Nick, you’re right about one thing. It’s no excuse.”

Emily could feel the tears building up and she turned her back to Nick to hide it. Against her will, he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and gently rested his chin on her head. Emily wanted to scream. She hated this man unfathomably at this moment in time, yet she absolutely loved him, and never thought twice about it. He was healing her pain and ripping her apart at the same time. To no surprise of her own, she felt the tears begin to stream down her face.

“I appreciate you, Em,” he said softly. “Sometimes I think you’re the only thing I appreciate. For some strange reason, you’re always there for me, no matter what I do.” The sincerity in his voice caused her heart to break from the guilt. How could she hate someone she loved so much?

Through the tears, Emily quietly replied, “Sometimes you make me feel like I’m completely expendable in your life.”

Her words hit Nick’s heart forcefully. She couldn’t be more wrong.

With a slight laugh, Nick reassured Emily of his feelings for her. “You’re the only thing in my life that’s not expendable. You’re completely irreplaceable.” Nick turned Emily around so he could look her in the eyes. He stilled her head with his hands, “I really am sorry, Emily. I really am.”

“I know you are, Nick.” She confessed, “It just hurts so much.”

He pulled her into his chest again, holding her tightly and close to his body. She hated when he’d let go of her. Every time, she felt like her safety was gone, and her protection from the world was weakened.

“Do you forgive me?” His saddened voice asked.

“No,” she answered firmly and meant it. “But I won’t hold it against you.”

He knew it was the best he’d ever get out of her.