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Communication seemed to be nonexistent in Nick’s life. For the most part, he kept his feelings inside and dealt with his emotions in an emotionless matter. He never felt it necessary to dissect every detail of what he was feeling, whether it was good or bad. He never starved for pity and he hated having to explain himself for how he did feel. The best way to avoid the things he didn’t like was to keep to his self emotionally. He always thought that his plan worked, but now, he was questioning his way of handling his own pains.

Now more than ever Nick needed to communicate. He needed to talk to Emily about everything. He needed to talk to Emily’s parents about what happened. He needed to let the world know that he was in love, and he never wanted anything else for the rest of his life. But he couldn’t. Emily was in a coma, her parents were too bitter, and the world didn’t care. Nick’s whole life was falling apart before his eyes. He spent so much time building up the walls around him to protect himself from pain, he'd had forgotten how to feel. Now, suddenly all he could do was feel. He wanted to talk about what he felt and share what he felt, but he didn’t even know how to do that anymore. Emily was the one person he was always able to vent to, but even if she was awake, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to vent to her about the feelings he had for her.

In addition, he couldn’t help wondering if she would believe him. Nick always accepted Emily’s “I love yous”, but he never returned them. Even when he knew he loved her, he never said it. Commitment was not an option in Nick’s life. He preferred being able to do what he wanted when he wanted without having to answer to anyone. The only problem was that he always seemed to have to answer to Emily. At the end of the day, she was a fan of the Backstreet Boys, and she followed their every move, especially Nick’s. When rumors spread and theories started, she’d be drilling Nick for answers and the truth. She did that because she cared. She wanted to make sure her friend was safe.

Nick never told Emily how much her protection towards him really meant, but it always made him feel like he had someone in his corner. When the whole world was against him, Nick had Emily, and he always knew he could count on her.


The doorbell wouldn’t stop ringing, and the sleeping body was becoming restless. Apparently, whoever wanted to see Nick so badly wasn’t leaving anytime soon. He looked at the clock and groaned in frustration. It was 7:45 in the morning. It must be Emily, he thought, as he got up from his bed wearing only a T-shirt and boxers. At that point, he didn’t care what he was wearing or who saw him. He only cared about answering the door so he could go back to sleep.

As Nick made his way downstairs, the doorbell rang one last time before he finally opened the door. There she stood, looking panicked and worried, but grateful he answered.

“Emily… How did I know it was you?” He smiled at her and opened the door wider, inviting her in. She stepped forward, barely entering his house.

“Nick, we need to talk.”

The way she said the words without even saying “hello” first gave Nick the impression that this would be a serious conversation. For Emily, he would endure the torture of a heart to heart, but not without a proper greeting and some small talk catching up first.

Nick just looked at the girl in front of him, curious about what could have her so worried, but grateful she felt it. He reached out and pulled Emily into his arms and just held her.

“I don’t even get a ‘Hello’?”

“I’m sorry, Nick. It’s just that I really need to talk to you.”

He kept holding her, tighter and tighter with each breath. “You know you can always talk to me. But whatever it is, it can wait a few minutes.” He still held her.

Emily was dying inside. His arms around her felt more right than the air in her lungs. He had never held onto her so tightly and for so long before. She instinctively held on just as tightly and secretly hoped he’d never let go of her, knowing he would.

The moment felt so right. Everything felt right. Nick felt so right. The thoughts that were blazing through Emily’s head made her want to cry. She was there for Nick’s sake, and suddenly, she felt like she needed him more than he would ever need her. Against her will, Nick finally loosened his grasp around Emily’s body. As he did so, he looked down at her and smiled, knowing she was falling even more in love with him. He never meant to instigate the matter, but he did care about her, and sometimes, the only way he felt he could show it was to just hold her so she knew he’d always be there.

“Are you ok, Em? I don’t want you worrying about me. I know something’s on your mind, but I’m okay, so you really don’t have to worry.”

“But Nick, this really isn’t good news. And I’ll always worry about you. I love you. You know that.”

He laughed at her honesty, “I’ll just never know why. Come on…” He led her inside, and they sat down on the couch in his living room, never taking his left arm from her waist.

Emily rested her head on his shoulder and Nick let her. He loved the feelings she provoked in his heart, and the smile she forced on his face. He couldn’t help it. She just made him so happy. It was days like this that reminded Nick of why he treasured his friendship with Emily, even though he rarely admitted it.

“You know I hate doing stuff like this, but tell me what’s going on. I don’t want you getting ulcers worrying about me,” he joked.

She looked up into his eyes, knowing everything was untrue. All the rumors, all the accusations, all the negative media surrounding him; it was all untrue.

Finally though, she spoke up, “It’s about your ex-girlfriend…”

Nick laughed at Emily’s attempt to avoid the name. “Paris?”

Bitterly she replied, “Yea… her. You know about all the rumors going around, don’t you?”

Worriedly, he looked into Emily’s eyes, “Yea, I’ve heard them. But that’s all they are, Em, just rumors. You know I’d never do that.”

“I know…” she trailed off, wondering what she should say. She didn’t believe that Nick would ever hit a girl, but for some reason, she needed to hear it from him. “I guess I just wanted to make sure.”

He smiled, knowing she cared, “I know.” He stared into her eyes deeply, “I didn’t do it. I never would and you know that. You know me, Em. I would never do that to a girl.”

“I know, Nick. I really do, and I really do believe you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Everyone needs a friend sometimes.”

She kept making him smile, “I always have a friend.” He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

Emily blushed, and she knew it. He was acting so perfect and she didn’t want it to end. As much as she liked it, though, she wondered what was causing his sudden abundance of affection. After all, she had woken him up before the afternoon arrived, so there was no way his morning was “good”. Her curiosity got the best of her.

“Nick, you know I love how you’re acting right now, but what’s going on? You’re never like this; not with me at least.” She looked into his eyes, scared of how he’d react but desperate to know what was going on inside of his heart. “Are you sure everything is okay?”

“I’m positive,” he assured her, still smiling. “I’m just really happy to know I have a friend that cares about me so much that she comes rushing over to my house early in the morning just to know that I’m okay. It’s a nice feeling.”

Emily wasn’t sure what surprised her more, Nick’s honesty or his sincerity. Either way, they were both happy to be together, knowing each cared for the other when no one else did, and they always would.


Nick spent the next week doing exactly what he had done the previous weeks. Every day, he spent his time from eleven in the morning to nine at night with Emily. He would talk to her and smile at her, and watch her sleep. He was there for her when no one else was. When additional visitors came, such as Sam or the other Boys, Nick would do his best to keep them informed and up-to-date on her condition, and for the most part, he took full responsibility of her life while she lay helplessly in an unfair coma.

For the first time in Nick’s life, he selflessly devoted himself to someone and never questioned why or regretted a moment of his time spent worrying about Emily. With all the time he had available to spend thinking, it had begun to occur to Nick that he had been in love with Emily for a long time. He just never realized it. But when he really thought about it, he couldn’t find any rational argument against the theory. He was happiest with Emily, she made him feel more comfortable than anything else, he treasured her friendship, he trusted her like no other, she always made him smile, and for some reason, when Nick hurt Emily, it hurt him just as much. She was the one person that actually affected his heart and could cause him pain. Emily had always been in love with Nick, and now it seemed Nick had always been in love with Emily as well.

The frustration Nick was beginning to feel was overwhelming. He wanted to tell Emily everything that had processed through his mind in the last three weeks. He needed her to know that he was changing and would keep changing until she was satisfied with who he had become.

Right now, Nick was living for Emily, and for the most part, she didn’t even know it.