“Angie, we need to talk.”
“Not now Sam. I’m very busy. Later alright.” She said without looking at him. Her refusal initiated more insistence in his voice, as he stood still behind her ignoring all the glares and whispering among her friends.
“No Anne, I want to talk to you now.” His soft voice became lower and sterner as he gave a sharp stare at her.
“Sam please! Don’t be such a pain will you? Can’t you see I’m having a group discussion right now? I said, I’ll see you later-”
“I said right now Anne! NOW!” The loud yelling startled almost everyone at the table. No one said anything, not even a slightest hiss of whispering as they turned and looked at their friend.
“Anne… is everything okay?” The brunette released a soft weak sigh as she looked down at the concrete floor, searching for excuses to avoid from having another row of dispute with him. “Anne?”
“Okay… everything is okay. I’ll go and talk to him… you guys go ahead with it. I’ll be back shortly.”
“You sure?” She gave a light nod as her eyes shimmered with strong protestation but what else could she do? He was not in a right state of mind to accept NO as an answer and saying YES came with a huge burden on her shoulders. “You know Anne, maybe you don’t have to go-”
“And what? Let him create scenes here? Or maybe to let him harass you guys again? No Josh… I’m tired of running away from him, maybe its time for me to settle it once and for all. Just like what you said, I can’t keep on running away right?”
“But Anne, don’t you remember what happen last week-”
“Its okay Josh… I’ll be fine, don’t worry. You guys will be here so I don’t think he dares to do anything stupid anyway.” Angela’s assurance did not seem to get rid of the worries on her close friend’s face. Two days ago, he saw them quarreling outside her locker area and she ended up having a cut on her lips. A fall she claimed but he was not a fool to believe that it was just being a plain fall. He had seen bruises on her arms before due to the ‘unintentional’ slapping and pinches but Angela never want to talk about it. She always kept it inside herself.
“Listen, if he tries to be funny, you know I’m here right?”
Angela nodded her head for the third time and grabbed her bag. The contortion on Sam’s face looked both scary and annoying to her. After what has happened on Friday, she tried to keep a distant away from him. Moreover, she has lost trust on him completely. His level of sensitivity and suspicious escalated over the past few weeks forcing her to be more careful with her words. He could easily be amused in one second and agitated the next whenever he was not satisfied with her reasons or explanation. He had the habit of finding loopholes in them then, he will twist and turn the facts to use it against her.
“Alright Sam… we are here now so… out with it.”
“Here?”
“Yeah… what’s wrong with it here?”
“No, no… I mean… I thought we’re going to… you know the park or something? Where we can really talk?” At the back of his head, he was expecting Angela to choose a more secluded area for a better privacy.
“No, here is fine.” Insisted Angela.
“You scare of me?”
“Is there a reason why I should be scare of you? I mean… apart from that slap, I think I’m fine.” The slapping incident that happened a few days ago remained afresh in his mind and since then, he was haunted by his own guilt-trip. “You just want to talk isn’t it?” He wanted to touch the cut on her lower lips but Angela pushed his hands away. “Stop it Sam… you said you want to talk so… what is it?”
“Well, at least have a sit Anne.”
“Its okay, I’m fine standing…”
“Suit yourself then.”
“So what is it that you want?”
“Well… I uhhmmm… I… gosh… this is harder than I thought. You know… I always get tongue-tied when I face you…”
“Please Sam… I don’t have all day for this so if you don’t mind, say what you want to say now.”
“Alright, alright… I want to say I’m sorry…”
“Oh yes you should!”
“Look Anne, I’m really, really sorry for what happened the other day… I know its my fault and I was being too emotional… you know things are getting a bit off-sided for me nowadays…”
“Right! Things are getting off-sided for you and there you are taking it out on me! I don’t think that’s fair on me Sam.”
“I know that Anne, and that’s the thing, that’s the reason why I want to see you today… I want to say I’m sorry… I promise I won’t do it again-”
“That’s enough Sam! I’m tired of your sorry, your promises and I’m tired of you taking it out on me, embarrassing me in front of my friends… everytime you say you’re sorry, I don’t think you’re even sincere about it because you keep doing the same old thing.”
“No Anne… this time… I’m really sorry… I know… I shouldn’t have done that to you… you know these voices inside my head… its… its very loud… and its telling me… telling me to-”
“Stop it Sam! Look… I don’t need any explanation from you. Is this all you want to talk to me about? If it is, then I would say our conversation is done!”
Sam scratched his forehead. He realized that Angela was still mad at him. Her sarcastic tone and her expression revealed it all. To face her proved to be more complicated than he thought. All his fiery guys seemed to fade the moment their eyes met for the first time that morning. The same pair of eyes that used to glow with warmth and innocence had suddenly turned cold and distant. The new glow in them exposed the changes in her and the changes in the way she treated him made him edgy and all tensed up. Perhaps the meet-up was bad idea, he thought in his heart.
“Are you going to start talking or will you just stand there and keep quiet?” Her snappish voice brought him back from his daze.
“Sorry… actually I… I… I just want to know… why are you avoiding me Anne?”
“Excuse me? What do you mean I’m avoiding you?”
“I called you a few times last weekend but you… you don’t want to take my calls and when I go over to your place, you’re always not in… now, you’re giving me this cold shoulders, you’re not the same Anne I used to know… you’ve changed.”
“You know what Sam? I can’t believe we’re having this conversation and… as far as I’m concern, my conscious is clear. I’m not avoiding you, I’m not giving you any cold shoulders and I certainly am the same person. If there should be anyone who changed, that is you.”
“Me? You’re saying that I’ve changed? What do you mean I’ve changed?” Angela sighed. If only she could present him a mirror to reflect what he had done, then there was no need for any further clarification. Let him learnt and watched his own mistakes and changes, she thought.
“Just forget it Sam-”
“No! I want to know what do you mean I’ve changed! I want to know it Anne!”
“I said forget it Sam-”
“No! I’m not going to let it rest until you tell me what do you mean I’ve changed! Tell me Anne, what is it that I’ve changed? Tell me!”
“That’s it! You want to know how you’ve changed? You’re being too persistence Sam and I’ve had enough of your nonsense! You try to control me… my movements, my friends, can’t you see that? Whenever I’m not free to pick up your call or to see you, you accused me of flirting around even with my own close friends-”
“No I didn’t-”
“Yes you did! Don’t think I know nothing about your stupid confrontation with all my guy friends! Who are you Sam? You have absolutely no right at all to meddle in my personal life!”
“Of course I do! You are my girl Anne and I have every right to know all your friends especially those guys and I-”
“Wait, wait! Just hold it right there! What did you say just now? I’m your WHAT?” This time, Angela was too fuming to even care if her voice attracted unwanted attention from other students. She was too taken aback by Sam’s so-called self-declaration of their relationship.
“You are my girl Anne and as your boyfriend… of course I hate it when people start to talk bad about you, spreading nasty rumours about you… those guys, they’re just using you Anne and I’m only trying to protect you –”
“Stop it Sam! Stop it! This is so ridiculous… we need to get a few things straight here! First and foremost, I’m not your girl and never was. I don’t know where and what gives you the idea that we’re… having a relationship but as far as I can remember and as far as I’m concern… between you and I, we’re just friends. You are just a friend and nothing more!”
“No! You are lying!”
“Oh God Sam! What else do you want me to do to convince you that there’s nothing going on between us?”
“If there’s really nothing between us, then why do we always… hang on the phone, why are you always been so nice to me? Why… why are you still wearing the chain I gave you?” Sam asked in an almost teary mannered. Maybe the confession was too much for him to absorb but that was the reality. As much as she pitied him like she always did, she knew she had to straighten the facts in his head. In doing so, she had to be firm.
Angela shook her head lightly as she bit her upper lip. “Sam… why are you doing this to yourself?” She muttered softly.
“So now… you still dare to say there’s nothing between us?”
“Look Sam… I gave you my number because I thought you really need help in your schoolwork. I am being nice not only to you but to all my friends, furthermore I don’t see why I should be rude to you if you did nothing wrong to me but…”
“But what Anne?”
“What you have done lately… is simply ridiculous, the confrontation… and your controlling of my life… and this… you mean if I wear this, I’m automatically yours? Its what? A talisman to show to people that I’m your girl? Sam, you gave it to me as a present remember? There’s no indication or anything to show that once I wear this, I am yours. It’s a present and I’m taking it as one. Nothing more than that! Josh gave me this watch, are you saying that I’m having an affair with him? Danny gave me this bag, does that mean I’m his girl too? If ten guys give me presents and I’m using them, will that mean I’m whoring myself by being everyone’s girl? What do you think I am Sam? Gosh… I can’t believe this…”
“No Anne… please don’t say that... you know that I love you, I love you very much Anne… very much, I know… I know its my mistake, I didn’t get to give you all those material things… but please don’t do this to me Anne… please-”
“But I don’t!”
“What?”
“I said I don’t love you Sam so please stop this madness will you?” She tried to keep her voice under control. Afterall she only wanted Sam to know the truth without the need of any further tongue-lashing session.
“No, no… I don’t believe you… its all because of him isn’t it?” His voice stirred with jealousy and anger as he moved up closer to her. Voices of his unfounded suspicious seemed to subdue his cool. Right from the day he saw the changes in the way she treated him, having those rumours deafening inside his ears and the sights of them together in school swayed his trust on her. By then, he was totally convinced that there was something going on between the two of them. All he needed was time to catch them red-handed but he never thought the time came sooner than he had expected. Angela’s acknowledgment of her secret affair was more than enough.
“Great! Who are you accusing now?”
“Kevin.”
“What? Are you nuts? He’s my -”
“I’m not blind Anne! The way you treated him… both of you… have something going on isn’t it? He went to your house yesterday to sugar talk you to leave me right?”
“What? How did you know he come to my house yesterday?”
“I’m your boyfriend Anne and its my job to protect you wherever you are…” Her mouth gaped with disgust. She was aware of him tailing her in school and she had caught him doing that before. A couple of times to be exact but she simply brushed it off sensing nothing worst could have happened. Nonetheless, the spying part came as the last straw for Angela.
“You… you were spying on me? I can’t believe this-”
“Anne, Anne… listen to me… whatever he said, don’t trust him alright. He is only making use of you-”
“No Sam… I think its you that can’t be trusted now…”
“What?”
“You follow me everywhere in school and I keep quiet about it but now, you’re telling me that you actually spy on me… at home? You’re sick you know that?”
“I told you Anne… I just want to protect you-”
“Enough Sam! Not another word! I’ve had enough of all these from you Sam! Listen to me Sam and listen it good, there is nothing going on between us, not now, not before and not ever… you have no right, no right at all to interfere in my life and you have no right to control me or to stop me from making friends with whoever I want even if its Kevin, Kenny or whoever it is. From today onwards, I don’t want to see your face again! You got me?”
“Anne-”
“You got me? I said I don’t want to see you again!”
“No Anne! No, listen to me! You’re not breaking up with me aren’t you?”
“Sam, don’t you get it at all? What… what is there to break when we have no relationship at all in the first place?”
“Look Anne… look, look… look… you’re not doing yourself a favour by doing this you know…”
“Let go of my hands Sam or I’ll start screaming.” Angela tried to break away from his grip but Sam refused to let go of her hands. He did not mean to impose any harm on his loved one, he only wanted her to see things the way he did. In his point of view. He just wanted to knock some sense back into her head, how others were simply taking advantage of her but he was puzzled at how Angela reacted to his concern.
What is happening to you love? What did I do? Where did things go wrong now? You know I love you Anne, I love you so much, how could it be possible that I want to hurt you? Why are you being so mean to me Anne? Why?
Its all his fault… I knew it! Its all his fault!
“Please Anne… don’t do this to me… please… please!” His pleadings were getting more and more persuasive. As if Angela’s retaliation to break free from him was not enough for him to deal with, those voices in his head kept irritating him to the extent that he did not realize he had actually squeezed her arms tight.
“Let me go! You’re hurting me Sam! Let me go!” Angela’s cries alerted her friends who rushed over to her aid.
“Hey let go of her!” Josh’s sharp screaming from behind broke the struggle.
“Oh God… oh God… what did I do? Anne? Anne, listen to me, it wasn’t me alright… Anne-”
“Look pal, I think its best that you get your ass out of here before things start to get nasty!” Josh said as he pushed Sam away and by now Anne had sought for safety behind her friend, still massaging her arms.
“Look Anne… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“Did you hear what I say? Get your ass out of here-”
“I’m not talking to you! I’m talking to Anne!”
“Oh yeah? If you want to talk to her, you’ve got to do it through me! Now, get fuck off!”
“Anne please listen to me… Anne-”
“Enough Sam! That’s enough! You are sick you know that! You are sick! I don’t want to see you again!”
“You heard that? She doesn’t want to see you again so fuck off man!”
“You’re going to regret this Anne… you will-”
“Oh! Now you’re threatening her? You actually have the balls to threaten her? You think she’s going to give in to your stupid threat? Listen here and listen good, before things really get out of hands, I want you to leave her alone. You copy that? Leave her alone or else you’ll be in deep shit!”
“Don’t push it too far my friend or-”
“Hello? Did I just hear a bee buzzing around? Look, I’m not your friend alright! Furthermore what will you do? Kill me?”
“I will… but before that I will hunt him down Anne… heard that? I will hunt him down-” His threat came with a slight cut on his lips, just the way he did to Angela when Josh threw a punch on his face.
“That’s enough guys… that’s enough! Come Josh, let’s go! Let’s go man!” Interrupted AJ from the side as he tried to break the two of them.
“But Anne… we are not done yet-”
“It is now. I want you to get this straight in your sick head alright… don’t try to call or see her again or else, I’m so gonna bash your face! You got that?” Sam’s defiance to Josh’s warning set hurdles to the already intensity at the study corner as Sam was taken and held up against the wall by the collar of his shirt. “I don’t like your face so better be sure you don’t ever come across my path or else I will definitely let you have another taste of my fist!”
“Cut it out dude! Come on stop it! Just let him go!” Despite of his small-built body, AJ managed to persuade Josh to release his clutch on Sam and pulled him back to his side. “Stop it man! You’ll only make things worse now!” He continued in an almost whispering mannered as he slapped Josh on his chest.
“He’s asking for it!”
“Yeah but still dude! You think beating the fucker up will make him stop?” AJ was right.
“You’re right! Maybe I should just kill him-”
“No man! Stop it!”
“Let me go Jay! Let me teach him a lesson to respect others!”
“Stop it man! You are not making things easier for Anne too and if you keep doing this, you’ll get us all in deep shit man!” Josh pulled himself away from AJ and released a strong punch in the air. AJ swallowed his saliva down and turned to his other friend. “You alright there girl? Anne?”
“Huh?”
“You alright?”
“Yeah… I’m fine…”
“Good… let’s go then… Josh let’s go!”
Anne please don’t leave me… please Anne… please…
“Wait Jay…” Angela unhooked the gift and walked a few steps forward. “Here… you can have it back!” Instead of placing it down on his palm, she threw the silver chain with a star-shaped pendant right on his chest. Without a second look at him, she walked away with Josh and AJ. Although she managed to display a composure expression on her face, deep inside she was both shaken up and disgusted by his acts. Finally, it was over. She could now sleep peacefully, she thought.
Sam on the other hand, was still on the floor with both hands on his stomach in enduring the effect of Josh’s kick. Though Angela saw his lips bleeding, yet she was insensitive about it. That was contrary to the first time they met a year ago. She was the one who reached out her hands over to him when he was beaten up by those bullies in school. She was the one who helped to clean up his cut and she was the one who gave new meaning in his life.
His eyes were red and watery. Not sure if it was caused by the twirling pain inside his stomach, or due to the arising vengeance boiling up inside his heart. Perhaps the reason could just be that he had lost her for forever.
How could you do this to me Anne? How could you?
That’s it Sam! You’ve lost!
No, this is not the end! Not yet. I will not give her up. Never. She can walk away but she never hides from me. I will kill whoever tries to take her away from me, I will. And I swear I will make them pay for doing this to me. To us.
You are so confident Sam! Look, where is she now? She has walked out on you Sam, in their arms!
I hate them! I hate them!
So? What can you do? You sure you want to be a killer? Kill them all?
Of course! I will kill them all!
Even Kevin?
He is in my top list, after that I will get that son of a bitch down for hurting me. Blood for a blood.
Good, then you must kill Anne too!
Kill Anne? No! She’s my love, how can I kill her?
She hurts you remember?
Hurt me? No… its not her fault! Its them… they’re the one who must have instigated her to say all those things! She loves me… she wouldn’t be saying all those things. Its NOT her!
Right! You’re living in denial Sam. She has said it right to your face that she doesn’t love you. Not now, not before and maybe not ever. You have threaten in front of her, she can even testify against you in Court for killing them and… since you’re so keen in doing the dirty job, might as well finish it up.
Shut up!
Then I guess she is right afterall!
What?
That you’re sick!
I’m NOT sick alright! Who said I’m sick?
Prove it then!
I will prove it to them! Oh yes… I will.
Watching Angela leaving him was like having half of his soul departing his body. It was more agonizing than those punches and the pain was excruciating than the cut on his lips. He took the chain and clutched it firm in his palm, so firm that he could feel the sharp pointing star pendant slicing through his skin. His palm was bleeding, so was his heart. Her words were like venom that quickly spread in his ached heart and in a way it was affecting his brain. The past that he buried years ago emerged as if it has been excavated back from hell. The love that once upon a time he had for her so soon replaced with umbrage and hatred.
He was hurt and the hurt was too deep.
I love you Anne but you left me with not much choice…
The incident perturbed him so much that he was too distraught to attend any lessons that morning, and decided to rest in his rental flat, which he shared with few other students. The throbbing jab in his head became wilder as he tried to refrain himself from getting too emotional. He knew he was on the tendency of doing something stupid but it was too late. There was no turning back. She had chosen that path and he will lead her till the end.
Angela’s photo that was nicely pinned up on his personal notice board reminded him of their earlier conversation. Her charming smile added more salt to his wounded heart. Her laughter that used to be his sweet lullaby suddenly sounded like an evil mockery, mocking him for being a fool. He should have known better than to carry a torch for her. She was afterall, the school’s top student gifted with brain and beauty whereas for him…
He was just a nobody.
The way she raised her voice at him that morning, the way she tried to defend her new lover and the way he was humiliated by her friends triggered a new wave of rage inside him. Those voices kept adding pressures in his already baffled head. How it tried to influence him to teach her a lesson and above all, he has to prove to others that he was neither sick or was he a weakling. He will execute his words, even the killing part. The only question he had in mind was, how?
Using a knife was not effective and satisfactory enough. To poison them will need proper planning and planning itself requires time and patience.
Time and patience? Do you really have them?
No, I don’t have the time and patience. Not anymore. I just want them to die now! They deserve to die and will die in the most horrible way.
That’s my boy! That’s what I’m talking about! Kill them, and kill them all even Angela…
How many times do I have to tell you? I will not kill Anne! Get that!
He shook his head strongly, protesting to the suggestions voiced out in his head. In a way, the voice right. Time was and has never been kind on him and because of that, his patience had totally drained out. He wanted something fast, fatal and less hassle. While he was cracking up his head, shaking it vigorously to find other ideas, he then remembered the precious object that he kept all his life. How he had hidden it well and safe in his wardrobe. He had seen how his father used it before. How it instantly ended all miseries in just one blast.
Without wasting time, he scurried his way to his wardrobe. The entire wardrobe was ransacked. Almost everything was thrown out and scattered on the floor. His eyes went high and low searching for the chest while his hands kept digging underneath the thick pile of clothes. He was on the verge of going crazy when he finally saw it from afar. The wooden chest.
The grin on his face sparkled with utmost admiration on the newfound beautiful plaything in his hands. He walked back to his bed, oblivious to all the mess on the floor that he had created because he knew he was close to having his mission accomplished.
r this, no one will dare to separate us again… no one.
It was almost two o’clock when he sneaked back into the school premises. The plan was simple. No complex drawing or formula to come up with. All he had to do was simply to return to school the soonest as possible on that very same day to carry out the task.
So far no one noticed him yet. Actually, it was not like they had ever noticed him before in the school, but sometimes it was good to be invisible. At least, when it came to major projects like the one he had in mind, no one will ever find anything amiss. Not even a bit. Of course, being invisible came with a price. Isolation, rejection, anger, self-pity, pathetic were some of the emotions that he had to deal with but soon,erything will be over he smiled to himself again, adjusting his cap.
Once in a while, he heard voices talking to him inside his head. They were praising him for being brave, for being a man and how proud he should be, and at any other times, the voice seemed to be controlling him and he hated it. He hated to be controlled and he hated to be treated like a small kid.
Shut up! I know what I’m doing! After this, no one will mess up with me now. I told you, you will be sorry for this!
Taking a wary step one at a time, he walked up to the third floor without looking at anyone. Then he gently lifted up his cap to get a better view of his target – the last classroom at the other end of the corridor. The lights were still on, indicating that he was on time. Though most of the classes were still occupied, he was not at all bothered by it. In fact, he was not interested about the others because in his mind, the only concern was the last classroom. As his steps got closer he could feel a glorious victory in hand, a victory that went way beyond everyone’s wildest imagination.
“What the fuck was that?”
“I don’t know… some kind of explosion I think…”
“Duh! I can hear that… but here?”
“Don’t worry Anne… I think its coming from the Science Lab, you know all those smart-Alec Scientist-genius future to be is like-”
“But Carrie… it came from upstairs.” Angela frowned at her friend. Out of a sudden, her heartbeat started to drill fast and hard. As much as she really hoped it came from the Laboratory but deep inside her, her intuition was telling her otherwise. Shortly after the loud noise, she heard students screaming and rushing down the stairs in heavy footsteps.
“Quick run! Run! Someone has gone mad!”
“Hey! Hey! What’s wrong?” Angela managed to stop one of them from running by grabbing her hands.
“Anne? What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean what am I doing here? I’m having a class after this… what’s wrong? Why is everyone running?”
“Anne, its best that you leave the school now-”
“Leave the school now? But why?”
“Cause Sam just went mad! He shot Mr. Richardson in his class!”
“What?”
Author's Chapter Notes:
This story is purely based on my imagination and is definitely not related to anyone who is still alive or who has passed away, any similarity are purely coincidental. This is my 2nd Backstreet Boys AU and i know there's a lot more for me to improve in my writing and i hope to get kind reviews from the readers here, your reviews are highly Appreciated, thanks!
