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I like to watch it rain
Teardrops from the sky
Falling, falling down
Crying from a bigger eye

I like to see the clouds
As the white ones flee the gray
I like to see them chasing one another
As the brightness starts to decay

It was on that Monday
That I laid my heart down
I didn’t see the harm in things then
My gasoline rainbow was starting from the ground

I like to see the lightning flash
Dance across the sky
It’s illuminating, blinding streak
Never seems to die

I like to hear the wind
It whistles as it howls
It dances sadly with itself
Reminding me somehow it’s okay to cry

It was on a Tuesday
That I didn’t know what to do
That’s when I saw the harm in things
My gasoline rainbow was in its brightest hue

I hate to hear the sirens
Ugly and piercing through the clouds
It screams to tell danger is near
I wish though, there was a siren for the heart

A heart’s more than a life source
It also holds our soul
People take risks that may hurt them
It’s not the pain of limb and bone

I like to walk in the puddles
To watch the cars go by
I like to stare into the water cupped
And watched the oil swirl inside

The oil that moves inside
Mixed with all God’s tears
My heart, in pieces on the ground
My gasoline rainbow all in bloom

A rainbow is a sacred thing
Gasoline, so ugly and dark
A gasoline rainbow is just an accident
Every rainbow just leaves another scar

One


He held her in his arms as she cried. She poured her heart into him as a confidante and it pained him deeply to see her cry. The sky was almost as dark as she felt inside. It was a never-ending ocean from her. To her, life was over and she would sit and wallow forever in darkness. For him, a possible window opened, one of love he felt deeply but felt he could not express.

‘It might ruin the friendship.’ His mother had said as he sat at home in his bed staring up at her when she pulled the blanket to the middle of his chest. He hated when she babied him but he was used to it. He was an only child with a single parent who was almost never there. So every second with him was beautiful and sad for fear or eternally parting. But those thoughts were in the back of his mind yet in the front of hers.

“What’s her name?” her mother had asked curiously raising an arched eyebrow with an inquiring grin.

“Ruth.” It was a simple name but that’s how she had been…in her own way. Her hair was dyed blonde and brown and her finger nails were a fire red which was starting to chip, like his feigned resolve he put on for her. He loved her and he ached for her; he ached more from inside than out. He wanted to, at that moment, blurt out that he loved her so much it hurt, physically. But saying things like that would only worry his mother, and although he trusted her with such information but decided she had enough on her mind and kept this hidden inside his heart.

“I loved him and…and…” her broken voice faded away under her shudders and sobs and he closed his eyes letting tears slip as he hugged her. She would occasionally let go of clinging onto his shirt to bang her fists softly into his firm chest.

“Are you in love with her?” she asked calmly. Her smile had faded and she just starred at him as he lay propped up by his pillow and elbows. His pause was what spoke for him. She smiled when he didn’t answer and he sighed smiling. He looked away.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you hate being away from her?”

“Yes.”

“Do you feel you need to protect her?”

“I guess.” He said with a pained look. It was almost as if he wanted to avoid the conversation but he wanted her to press deeper; to pull the words, like teeth, from his mouth.

“Yes or no.”

He sighed, “Yes.”

“You’re in love honey.” She said patting his leg. “Are you scared?”

“No.” he said quickly. It was a pushed, quickened ‘yes’ and she knew it was the complete opposite. She looked at him quizzically.

“Yes.” He said softly and he fell back on the pillow. “I don’t even know what love feels like mom, how-I mean-ah nevermind.” He sighed again. She smiled brightly. It was one of those smiles he saw when he was the one who scored a touch down on the field or did a definite slam on the tennis court. It was that smile he could not pinpoint exactly the meaning but he knew it deep inside it meant she was happy. Or was it a smile that meant that she was proud? This puzzled him for several seconds but he pushed it away.

‘I think too much.’ He thought.

“You think too much Kevin.” She said rubbing his leg.

“You’re in love baby. I know I said earlier it might ruin the best friend relationship but it’s a risk, it’s part of life.”

“But what do I expect out of it?”

“Nothing,” She sighed getting up. She turned and walked to the door. She stood holding the door open when she turned and looked him straight in the eye with a sad smile, “and everything.”