I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
Sitting in the middle of the overly large group, Hannah nervously bounced her right foot against the floor while the chorus of her single flowed through the stereo system. Her entire body went rigid as she glanced amongst all the faces; unnerved had how expressionless they were. The chorus was fading and the passion of her voice had already peaked. Now she kept with the spirit of the song, needing to express the fervor that burned her soul wherever music was heard. It was almost over and yet no one had managed to say a single word. Instead, everyone that had come to Charlotte’s party was concentrating on the large stereo system in the living room. Silent. Unmoving. Even Charlotte and Baylee were sprawled on the floor; the large coloring books and endless crayons sprawled over the carpet. Untouched. Biting down hard on her bottom lip and surveying the group once more, she realized that the single was not as wonderful as she had originally thought. Nor was it as beautiful as Howie had led her to believe during all the studio time. And when her song ended with a sweet and soft crescendo, it seemed as if everyone had gulped in his or her breaths, refusing to let them pass while silence encased them.
Why did she ever believe that she could excel in the music business?
Having every intention of excusing herself from the party, running outside, and hailing a cab back to Kentucky, Hannah shifted in her seat and braced her hands on the cushions to boost herself. But when a soft sigh escaped from Joanne’s painted lips, she stopped. Taking another glance around the room, she noticed the smirks and grins begin to widen while Howie leaned back with the utmost pride. He looked as if he were a father at his daughter’s first ballet recital, knowing in his heart that she was the best performer to ever grace the stage. Charlotte was even quick to hop up from the carpet and skip over to where Hannah waited with baited breath. The little girl crawled onto her lap, looped her arms around Hannah’s neck, and sighed dreamily. “It was so pretty! Just like you! You’re better than all the Disney princesses combined!”
“Thanks Charlotte,” Hannah breathed with a surprised smile, never expecting to be compared to a princess, let alone a Disney princess.
“Charlie,” Charlotte insisted, squeezing Hannah in a small hug. “Can you tuck me in? Sing me a pretty song tonight? Please? For my birthday?”
“I…Are…Me?” Hannah questioned with surprise, hastily looking toward Nick for confirmation that she was allowed. When he shrugged with a good-natured smile, she looked back to see Charlotte waiting for an answer. Nodding hastily, she jerked in surprise when Charlotte squealed with delight and went about chasing Baylee once more.
“Damn, does Charlie love you or what?” AJ whistled with amusement, draping his arm over Joanne’s shoulders to bring her closer. He had posed a lot of questions about Hannah throughout the party, particularly toward Howie and Nick. Though, Nick not knowing much about her besides she was pretty had hindered his ability to continue in the conversation. And, he couldn’t help the jealous flare that ignited, though AJ seemed satisfied and almost deliriously happy with his long-term girlfriend.
Joanne’s cornflower blue eyes sparked with interest at AJ’s comment and she lovingly patted his thigh. “Of course she does, Aje, it’s a natural reaction to a woman of that caliber. Hannah reminds me of Catalina, of course. So bright and beautiful. Very lovable. The Regency Era absolutely adored her as the heroine. She was infectious from the first chapter. She almost wrote herself—”
“Jo, cut it out,” AJ groaned, cupping a hand over her mouth before replacing it with his lips.
“As adorable as those two are… I’d like to know more about the song,” Kevin murmured, leaning over the engaged couple so he could catch Howie and Hannah. He had been mulling over the single since the song had ended. It always took him several minutes to gather his thoughts and come to a conclusion. He never wanted to speak out of turn about someone’s music, which had a direct connection to the person’s soul.
“Well, the artist is here, so I’m sure you’ll get all your questions answered,” Howie approved, nodding toward Hannah. He always loved to get feedback for his work, especially from those knowledgeable about the business. No one was more knowledgeable about the music industry than his friends, so Howie naturally assumed Hannah’s talent would feed on any potential criticisms. Positive or negative.
“And you’re looking for an honest opinion, Hannah?” Kevin asked, glancing to the young woman for confirmation. He wanted to make sure that the discussion was legitimate. That she wouldn’t be offended by their evaluations, not that he could find a flaw within the song.
Hannah immediately fidgeted when everyone’s eyes turned upon her and she found herself blushing furiously. She hated to be the center of attention in small groups, wanting to just melt into the background and enjoy the conversation instead. “To be honest, I didn’t even know Howie was going to play it… But, I’d rather someone critique it now before he releases it to the media… They’re probably not as kind as y’all are…”
“Kevin, Nicky, Brian, and J are extremely capable of critiquing a song, Hannah. When each of us has dabbled in a solo work, the others were always on speed dial for various brainstorming sessions. I think it’d be an excellent idea to get their opinions,” Howie encouraged softly, hoping to soothe her anxiousness.
AJ nodded with the utmost agreement, “Yeah, we don’t bite—”
“Hard,” Joanne finished with a melodious giggle.
“I honestly don’t mind,” Hannah assured, noticing AJ’s coloring change to the faintest pink, though he didn’t seem too agreeable to the coloring. As if he was never allowed to be embarrassed. Though, when he leaned to whisper something to Joanne, Hannah turned her gaze upon Nick, surprisingly, hoping for some kind of help. Usually she would look to Howie for help, but something about Nick’s gorgeous sapphire eyes soothed her in a manner Howie could not.
“If Howie says it’s a winner, trust me, Hannah, it’s a winner,” Nick concluded, feeling an air of pride settle when he realized he was rescuing her. As if he were some brave knight hoisting the lovely damsel within his arms for a romantic kiss after a harrowing ordeal. But, when her turquoise eyes began to burn into his soul, he realized she was waiting for more. That she truly valued his opinion. So, uncomfortably clearing his throat, he shifted once more before speaking, “But, I’ve got to say, it’s a wonderful song. Your voice is amazing. I’ve never heard a woman reach such a range of vocals before… And you’re obviously versatile. Howie can market you in country music and pop music… The lyrics are so powerful and moving… You can tell that there really was some heartache before deciding that it was best to move on… Did Howie write it for you?”
“…No…” Hannah trailed, seeming to squirm underneath the attention. She hadn’t expected the group to be so interested in the song. She figured it would be a few ‘great job’s’ and they’d move to another topic. “…I wrote it myself…”
“You penned the song?” Kevin asked, his voice touched with awe.
“Yes, I did,” Hannah confirmed once more, debating if she should be more defensive about their incredulous expressions. It wasn’t as if she was trying to exude a clueless personality… At least she hoped she seemed somewhat intelligent…
“Oh! Hannah, no! We don’t mean to act so suspicious. It’s just amazing that you have such a talent for lyrics. Not everyone can turn a song into a beautiful story that’ll pull in a listener. We were very fortunate in the beginning to have the best songwriters working with us… They taught us the art and then we branched out to writing our own stuff. It’s just an amazing feat,” Brian hurriedly explained with a carefree smile, shooting Kevin a frown for being so thoughtless.
“She’s writing almost all the songs on the debut CD. We’ve been working on a few during the week. But it’s just amazing. She has some beautiful ballads and then her up-tempos are so catchy. She has this binder filled with every song she’s ever written and most have their own melodies. It’s a rarity that I have to sit down and work out the notes—”
“Howie, you’re embarrassing me,” Hannah interrupted with a fierce blush.
“You should be proud, Hannah,” Howie chided lightly before turning back to his friends. “She even played the guitar for the single and I’m sure she’ll be playing it for every other song. She’s far better at it than I could ever hope to be—”
Hannah groaned, “Howie—”
“Is that the only instrument you play?” Nick questioned with amusement, watching Howie wrap his arms about her and press a playful kiss to her cheek, insisting that she learn to accept a compliment.
“I’ve been working on the drum, but I’ve had my share of difficulties,” Hannah answered, though she looked to Howie before she emphasized, “I’m not perfect.”
“Nick would be the one to talk to about the drums,” AJ suggested. “The rest of us act like toddlers with a set of pots and pans when we get around the drums.”
“Hey! I play a mean bongo!” Brian contradicted.
“Sometimes being a solo artist has such benefits,” Kevin sighed quite loudly, though he smiled toward Howie and Hannah. When AJ and Brian opened their mouths to protest, the eldest immediately took the opportunity to steal the conversation. “You’ve got quite a bit of talent. A creative songwriter. A gorgeous singing voice. A knack for playing the guitar. You have certainly struck gold in the genetic lot—”
“It’s not just about talents,” Hannah hurriedly objected, though her voice was soft and filled with intimidation when Kevin raised his thick brows with confusion. She didn’t want them to think of her as a one-hit-wonder. She wanted them to understand the depth at which music had physically touched her life. She didn’t just decide to become a singer during one afternoon. No, she had dedicated herself from the very beginning to achieving what she hoped would someday be a powerful career. “I mean, yes, God has given me several gifts. But everyone in the music industry is allotted those same gifts. Beautiful voices. Creative minds. The ability to play an instrument. But I also worked hard to get where I am… All my extracurricular activities were focused in music. I sang in the school choir each year and also participated in my church choir. I made sure to incorporate several dance classes as well, just to become well rounded. I did various part-time jobs so I could hire a vocal coach… And I went to college and got a Bachelor’s in Performing Arts. I didn’t just fall into this and decided, hey, maybe I could sing… I just… I love music so much… I wanted to live and breathe it from the very beginning…”
“Well, it’s official, D,” Nick decided softly, watching his friends’ faces light with appreciation. “You’ve got a singer that the whole world is going to fall in love with.”
“I’m ready!” Charlotte declared loudly, taking some effort to climb onto queen-sized bed decorated in what seemed to be a custom-made pattern of Disney’s The Little Mermaid. The background of the soft comforter was a deep aqua blue, complimented with the cute nautical symbols of light purple seashells and various bubbles, and Ariel, the beautiful mermaid of the movie, was pictured in the center. When Charlotte grunted in an effort to turn down the sheets, it was obvious that there were no maids taking care of the Carter mansion, because her sheets were not matched with the comforter. Instead, they were imprinted with dozens of colorful dinosaurs and slightly wrinkled. Nick had obviously decided to do all the housework, though his attention to detail was that of a usual man. The large bedroom with adjoining bathroom was somewhat tidy and decorated to match the bedspread. Beautiful sea creatures were even painted over the aqua walls. Most of the toys somewhat put away were not those of a typical four year-old girl, however. Dinosaur figures, animal figures, and racecars replaced the dolls. Dozens of art supplies were settled in a small corner, which looked to be used often. A variety of worn books were piled on the nearby bookcase, looking as if they had been read frequently. Stuffed animals seemed to explode from everywhere. She was a lucky little girl. “Hannah?”
“Sorry, Sweetheart,” Hannah immediately apologized, pulling herself free of her thoughts. The party had ended a while ago and most of the guests had left. Charlotte had been in desperate need of a bath since her birthday cake battle with Baylee. But when Nick hoisted her into his arms for a trip to the bathroom, she furiously squirmed away and demanded that Hannah be in charge. Both adults had seemed to freeze at her insistence, but Nick reluctantly allowed her to steal Hannah upstairs. And the bath had been quite interesting, considering she should have probably just jumped into the tub as well considering how soaked she was. Now, waiting in bed, her flaxen curls looked to be in a tangle of knots. “Can I brush your hair before I tuck you in? Maybe braid it?”
Charlotte’s sapphire eyes widened in delight at Hannah’s suggestion, hurriedly kicking off the covers to plop in the middle of the bed. She pushed her damp locks behind her shoulders and arched her back in attempts to sit up straight. She strove for perfection, not wanting to upset Hannah and potential ruin her offer. “You can braid?”
Hannah smiled and nodded in confirmation, taking the brush off the nearby nightstand. “Can’t your Daddy?”
“He just gets knots,” Charlotte explained, clutching the stuffed monkey that Hannah had gotten her.
“We’re just going to have to teach him how to do a proper braid,” Hannah laughed, easily moving the brush through Charlotte’s curls. She made sure that when she found a knot that she was careful to comb it out, not pulling on the child’s scalp. When she was sure that all the knots were gone, leaving her long, silky strands of hair that began to curl, she parted them and created a simple French braid.
“We are?”
“Well… I can teach him if you like…”
“You will?”
“If you want me to.”
“Oh, I do!”
“Then I’d be glad to,” Hannah promised, pulling off the extra hair-band from her wrist to secure the long braid she had finished. Patting Charlotte’s back to signal she was done, she had to laugh when the little girl turned and immediately crawled into her lap. “We’ll buy him a bright pink Barbie and tell him to practice when he has free time during recordings.”
“Daddy’s never bought a Barbie before,” Charlotte giggled, allowing Hannah to hoist her upward to the top of the bed. Linking her arms around Hannah’s neck, she waited for the covers to be turned down before hopping in the middle. Making sure the monkey was tucked underneath her arm, she helped Hannah pull the covers up and tuck them beneath her chin. Snuggled quite tightly, she grinned when Hannah perched on the side of the bed.
“I’ve never bought a Barbie before either,” Hannah admitted softly, tucking away a few curls that had loosened from the girl’s braid. “I never liked them much. I was happier playing with dinosaurs and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… But I absolutely loved My Little Ponies—”
“Is that why you bought me some for my birthday?”
“Yeah, I figured I couldn’t go wrong with a stuffed monkey and some My Little Ponies. Did you like them?”
“I loved them!”
“Then you’re welcome, Sweetheart.”
“Do you have brothers or sisters?”
“Nope, I’m an only child, Darlin’,” Hannah drawled, smoothing the covers over Charlotte with a wistful smile.
Charlotte fought a small smile as she played with her monkey’s ear. “You a Mommy?”
“Nope, I don’t have any kids.”
“You got a boyfriend?”
Hannah laughed with astonishment at the round of questions, though she obliged with an answer, “Not right now I don’t...”
“Good!”
“Why is that good?”
“’Cause…” Charlotte trailed vaguely with a large yawn. “…Are you going to be here lots, Hannah?”
“I’m not sure… I mean, I’ll be with your Uncle Howie a lot. I have to record my songs and stuff. But, I’m sure he’ll let me out once in awhile—”
“So you come play with me?”
“If your Daddy says it’s okay—”
“He will! You can come play with me and Daddy! He likes you.”
“Does he now?”
“Yes’m,” Charlotte assured sleepily.
“How do you know?”
“’Cause him’s eyes are sparkling ‘gain.”
