- Text Size +

Nick was shocked.  Hearing that Roxie was pregnant was the last thing he expected.  He was waiting for Roxie to say something because he wanted to know if it was a good thing that she was carrying his baby or if she was completely appalled by the knowledge.  When she didn’t say anything, he looked at her, trying to gage her reaction.  “You don’t seem shocked to find out that you’re pregnant.”  Roxie didn’t respond; she just looked at Nick.  It was in that stare that Nick realized something.  “You knew didn’t you?”  Roxie nodded and Nick looked away. 

The doctor returned.  “You ready to go home?”

Roxie nodded.  “Who isn’t?”

The doctor laughed.  “Good point.  You need to make a follow up appointment with your gynecologist.”

“I will.  Thank you doctor.”  Roxie stood up and grabbed her stuff.  “Come on Nick.”  Nick followed her silently, not knowing how to react.  Not only was Roxie pregnant, but she knew before the doctor told her.  She knew and she didn’t tell him.

They were halfway home before Nick finally spoke.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”  His voice was just above a whisper.

“How could I Nick?  You’ve been so different these past few weeks.” Roxie answered, her voice quivering slightly.

“When were you planning on telling me?” Nick asked, his eyes fixed on the road, his grip on the steering wheel tight.

“I don’t know.”

“So, if I didn’t drag you to the hospital, I would’ve never known?”

“I would’ve told you eventually.”

“How long have you known?” Nick’s voice grew stern, as if he were going to punish her.

“Only a couple days.”

“Is that supposed to make it better that you had no intention of telling me?”

“I couldn’t tell you.”

“Right, because I’ve been so different lately.” Nick scoffed and rolled his eyes. He took one hand off of the steering wheel and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I could never tell what kind of mood you were in.”

He pulled into the driveway and couldn’t get out of the car fast enough.  He walked into the house and continued until he got to the back door.  He sat down on his back porch staring out into space.

Roxie knew he was upset again, so she let him be.  She knew it was due to her actions, so there was nothing she could really do anyway but sit and wait. She took care of Ariel and made sure to distract Ariel long enough so that she wouldn't realize that her father wasn't coming back in the house right now.  Roxie ordered pizza for dinner that night.  She set Ariel up with her dinner then went outside to get Nick to come in and eat since he hadn't eaten all day.  "Nick?"  He turned toward her and she could see that he had spent his time outside crying.

 

“What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean Nick?”

“Well, you didn’t want to tell me.  It makes me wonder if you want to have my baby.  I know that I’m messed up and that I’m not always the best father, but I love you, and frankly, it hurts that you don’t love me enough to want to have a baby with me.”

“Nick, we’ve only together for 4 months.”

“So, are you going to carry it full term and set it up for adoption or are you going to abort it?” Nick asked, a little hint of fear of her answer in his eyes

“I’m going to keep it.”

“You are?”

Roxie smiled at him.  “Yes.  I’ve always wanted a baby, especially after I miscarried with my first pregnancy.  I love you Nick.  That’s not the reason I didn’t tell you.”

Knowing that Roxie was going to keep the baby became a reality check to him.  He knew he messed up horribly with Ariel and he knew that he needed to make some changes to make himself a better father for this new baby.  It was with that realization that he also realized that he needed to admit to Roxie about his relapse.  "I know why you didn't tell me.  I've been an asshole for the past month."

“I wouldn’t go that far Nick.”

“I would.”  He turned quiet again.  He knew he had to admit his problem to Roxie but he couldn’t seem to find the words.  Finally he spoke again.  “Roxie, I need help.”

“What do you mean?”

“I started drinking again.”

“What?”

Nick looked down ashamed.  “You heard me.”

“I can’t believe this Nick.” It was Roxie’s turn to grow angry. She clenched her fists at her sides and waited for him to continue. All of his most recent actions came to mind.

“I didn’t intend on it happening.  It just did.”

“I defended you to my sister.  I told her about your actions and she said it sounded like you were drinking.  I told her that you wouldn’t do that because you’d been sober for a couple years.  I’m very disappointed in you right now.”  Roxie said and walked back into the house to eat dinner.  Nick walked into the house from the porch and continued walking through the kitchen.  “Nick, are you going to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You haven’t eaten all day.”

Nick shrugged.  He continued to walk through the kitchen and stopped right before the door.  “I’m sorry that I’m such a disappointment.”  He said then left the kitchen.  He really wanted to go into the basement to get a drink but that would require him walking through the kitchen again and he didn’t want that.  He decided to just deal with the heartache that he was feeling.

Roxie entered their room a couple hours later, after putting Ariel to sleep.  Nick was lying on the bed hugging her pillow to his chest.  “Ariel’s asleep.”

“Okay.”  The tremor in his voice confirmed what she already suspected, that he was crying.

“I’m sorry Nick.”

“You don’t have to be.  You’re right.”

She sat down on the bed and attempted to pull him close to her but he resisted.  “Nick look at me.”

“I can’t.  I can’t look into your eyes and see how disappointed you are in me.  I can’t handle that right now.”

She wasn’t sure what she could say to make him feel better.  “When did this start?”  She asked, hoping that if she got him talking he’d feel better.

“The day Ariel fell out of the tree.”

“Where did you go that night?”

“A bar.”

“And every night after?”

“The same bar.”

“The day you yelled at Ariel about wanting to watch The Little Mermaid?”

“Drunk.”

“The bottles of water that you were drinking?”

“Vodka.”

“The day you woke up feeling sick?”

“Hangover.”

“When you threw up the night before you woke up feeling sick?”

“Too much alcohol.”

“You’re guitar?”

“Drunk.”

“Today?”

“Hangover.”

“How bad is this?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re relapse.”

“Only alcohol.  No drugs.”

“And it’s been going on for about a month?”  Nick nodded.  “Okay, show me where you hid your alcohol.  You’re going to dump it down the drain.”

“Tomorrow.” 

“No Nick.  Now.”  Finally he stood up and led Roxie to the basement.  “Okay, where is it.”

“The water bottles by the couch.  Most of them have vodka in them.  The rest of the vodka is in the TV cabinet.”

“How many water bottles have vodka in them?”

“They have ripped labels.” 

Roxie started to pick up the water bottles with ripped labels.  She carried them to the bathroom and made Nick open the bottles and dump the alcohol down the drain.  When he dumped the vodka out of all the water bottles, Roxie went to retrieve the bottles of vodka that were under the TV.  There was an open bottle that was almost finished and five full bottles.  She managed to grab the six bottles and give them to Nick.  Nick hesitated and that gave Roxie the impression that he didn’t want to give up his alcohol.  “If you didn’t want my help, then why did you tell me you needed help?”

“I do need help.  But you have to understand that I’m an addict again, and that makes it very hard to dump it.”

“The sooner you dump it, the better off you’ll be.”

“I know.”  He took a deep breath and dumped his remaining vodka down the drain.

“I think you need to go to bed now.  You probably haven’t had a decent nights sleep since you started drinking again.”

Nick nodded in agreement.  “I want to check on Ariel.”

“I’m sure she’s fine Nick.”

“It’s something that I need to do.”

“Nick?”

“My little girl is afraid of me now.  I need to fix that.”  He left the basement and headed upstairs to Ariel’s room.  He sat on the side of her bed, just watching her sleep.  “I’m so sorry Ariel.  You deserve to have a better father.  I’m going to try and get better.  I just hope that it’s not too late.”  As he looked at her, he could feel himself get choked up.  “I love you Ariel.”  He said as he lied down to hold Ariel.  He ended up falling asleep in that position.

Roxie looked in on Ariel’s room and discovered Nick fast asleep on Ariel’s bed.  Roxie smiled knowing that in the morning, Ariel would have a nice surprise when she woke up.

The next morning, Nick woke up before Ariel.  He reached out and began brushing back her hair gently.  Eventually she woke up and looked up at Nick.  Nick smiled at her.  “Hi baby.”

“Daddy.”  She said excitedly.  She jumped up and threw herself into his arms. 

Nick chuckled.  “Whoa, what’s this for?”

“You’re not being mean?”

Nick was amused.  “You just woke up, how do you know?”

“Because if you were still mean, you wouldn’t be in here.”  Nick pushed Ariel back so he could look at her.  “I’m really sorry that I hurt you.  I never meant to."

“Can we do something today?”

“Like what?”

“Can we go to the zoo?”

“We might not be able to go today, but we’ll definitely go some time soon.”

“Why not today?”

“We need to make sure that Roxie is up to it.”

“It can just be the two of us.”

“You don’t want Roxie to come.”

“You haven’t spent any time with me this month, and you promised that you’d always find time for me.”

“You’re right.  I did promise you that.  Okay.  We’ll let’s go tell Roxie that I’m taking you to the zoo.  Would you like to go out for breakfast too?”

“YEAH.”  Ariel said excitedly. 

Nick smiled and nodded.  “Okay, pick out what you want to wear, while I go tell Roxie.”

Nick stood up and went to his room.  Roxie was already awake.  “Hey.”

“Hey Nick.”  Roxie said with a smile.  “How do you feel?”

“Eh.  Okay I guess.  Ariel wants to go to the zoo today with just me.  Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.  You two need some alone time together.  I was going to call around and tell people that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, did you need me to stay for that?”

Roxie smiled.  “No, that’s not necessary.  You go have fun with your daughter.  I’ll call my family and they’ll be ecstatic.  When you get home, or tomorrow, we’ll call your family.”

“Sounds like a plan.”  He walked over to Roxie and kissed her.  “I love you.”

“I love you too.  Now go have fun with your daughter.” Roxie smiled against his mouth and kissed him quickly again.

“Thanks, but first, I need a shower.” Nick said, walking towards the bathroom and pulling off his shirt.

 

~*~

 

Later that day, Nick led a hyper toddler into the house.  Ariel ran right up to Roxie and started talking really fast.   Roxie laughed and looked at Nick.  “How much sugar did you give her?”

“None.  I wasn’t dealing with an overly hyper toddler by myself.”

Roxie chuckled again.  “Well, apparently you still had to deal with an overly hyper toddler.”  Roxie turned to Ariel.  “Daddy says he didn’t buy you sugar.”

"He didn't."  Ariel said as she bounced around the room.

“Then why are you so hyper?”  Roxie asked in amusement.

“Because I got to spend time with Daddy.”

“So you liked going to the zoo with Daddy.”

“Yep.”  Nick sat on the couch as Ariel threw herself on the floor to play with the puppy that had started to attack her feet.

“You look tired.”

Nick nodded.  “She’s been hyper since we got to the zoo.”

Roxie chuckled and leaned into his chest.  “Apparently you’re like a drug to her.” Nick groaned.

“Please don’t say drug.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.  So how did your family react?”

“Well, my dad was a little upset at first, but not about me being pregnant.  He was upset that he hasn’t met you yet.  So I invited him over to dinner next week.  That’s okay right?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“And Amanda went crazy.”

“What do you mean?”

“She started going through lists of things that I need and things that need to be done.  I think she’s more excited than we are.”

“Are you excited?”

“Yes I am.  Even more so now that I know you are stepping off the path that got you into trouble in the first place.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“I know you are Nick.  But it’s good that you stopped before it got any worse.”

“Yeah.”  Nick’s voice trailed off.

“So, are you ready to call your family?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“You’re nervous aren’t you?” Roxie asked against his chest.

“Well yeah.  It’s still very awkward with my family.” Nick answered and ran his hand through her hair until it rested on the small of her back.

“I know.  But it’ll get better.”

“I hope so.”  He paused for a minute.  “Hand me the phone, I’m going to get this over with.”

He dialed the number for his parent’s house.  “Hello?”  Bob answered.

Nick hesitated.  “Hi Dad.”

“Oh, hello Nick.  Are you feeling better?”

“Excuse me?”

“Roxie said you were sick yesterday.  Was she lying?”

“Oh, no.  I was sick yesterday.  I just wasn’t aware that you knew.”

“I called to invite you two over for a family outing.”

“Oh.”  Silence fell over the two on the phone.  “So, is Mom around?”

“Yes.  Do you want to talk to her?”

“Well, I have something to tell both of you, so can you put the phone on speaker?”

“Sure.  Hold on while I get your Mom.”

Moments later, his mother’s voice came across the line.  “Hi Nicky.”

“Hi Mom.”

“So, what do you need to tell us?”

“Roxie is pregnant.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful son.  Congratulations.”  Bob said

“Thanks Dad.”  He was waiting for his mother to say something.  “Mom?”

“You’re going to have another baby?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you really that stupid?” Her voice dripped with anger.

“What do you mean?”

“Roxie doesn’t love you.  She’s only trying to trap you.”

“What?  That’s not true.”

“I thought you would’ve learned your lesson by now and have better taste in women besides whores who get pregnant to trap you in their grasp.”

“I thought you liked Roxie Mom.”  Roxie looked up at him confused by that.

“She’s not good enough for you.  You need to tell her to get an abortion.”

“No.  I won’t.”  He heard a click on the other end.  “Hello?  Mom?”  Nick sighed.  “She hung up on me.”

“I’m sorry Nick.”  Without warning, he stood up and grabbed his car keys on the way out.  “Nick?  Where are you going?”

“Out.”  He said and slammed the door behind him.

 

~*~

 

Later that night, the phone rang, waking Roxie.  “Hello?”  She said in a groggy voice.

“Roxie?”

“Nick?  Is that you?”

“Yeah.”

“Where are you calling from?”

“Um.”  He hesitated.  “County Jail.”  His voice was soft, almost inaudible.