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 "Dearest MamaI want to apologize for leaving the way I leftI wanted to hide form all the pain that I had inside of me that I didn't know what to do and how to react, and I am sorry for that. I wanted to say my goodbyes before I leave but the things that happened that night made it crazier, I never expected Alex to tell Kevin everything, I didn't expect Kevin to hit Alex, I didn't expect Alex to have a child, and I felt cheated betrayed and alone, I should have talked to you more about it but I wanted it to be my little secret and I am sorry. I was offered to join this international dancing group earlier this year and I meant to tell you, but I kept postponing it , and then I was informed that I have to respond asap. I wasn’t sure about my decision but I wanted to dance all around the world. When I told Alex , well he confronted me that he was married and he had a child, what hurt me the most that he introduced us to each other and never bothered to tell me that she was his ex, I thought that she was his sister. And he never even had the courage to correct me , that wasn't fair of him.  And Nick, he knew it already and never bothered to tell me about it, I felt like all those years I trusted him went in vain, he was my friend, buddy and teacher, yet he never told me about something that meant the world to me, ,maybe I shouldn’t have made this big a deal out of it, but you know that I can't stop using my heart instead of my head, I always follow my heart no matter what. I was coming home when I saw AJ and Kevin talking and I was shocked to see Kevin's reaction, I never expected him to hit Alex that bad, I swear I could hear his knuckles smashing Alex's face. I hope they are not still mad at each other. I miss you a lot and I have lots of things to tell you but I don't know if you are mad at me or what? I can't stop thinking about you all, and I love you all, but I did need that time to go away, I wanted to breathe. Right now I am having a good time traveling around the world and people like our dances, I dance and sing as always, though my parts are minor one but at least I am doing the things I love the most. We are staying here in Berlin till the 4th of april , I would love to send you pictures of me, please don't hate me I love you sooo much Amy Ps don't tell Kevin or Alex about this letter please mama I don’t think I am ready yet to see them , still I love you"