“Brian, you can’t be serious.” My wife stood by the door, hands on hips, while I tried to find my other shoe in the closet. She’d been trying to convince me not to take the trip ever since she’d heard that I was going.
I found the shoe, buried way in the back under fifty others, and backed out of the closet. “Leigh, honey, I wouldn’t go if there was any way out. But I have to.”
She scowled at me, and I wished, again, that there was another way to take care of the problem without having her get angry with me. Things were never good when Leighanne was mad at me. But I had to do what I had to do. Shoving my feet into my shoes and grabbing the bag I had packed, I headed towards the door.
“Brian.”
“Leighanne.”
“I hate when you do this.”
I hated it, too, but there were some things in life that I was honor-bound to do. This was just one of them. “I hate leaving you and Baylee, too, but I’ll be back soon.”
“Look, I’m sorry that his fiancée left him, too, Brian, but I don’t think running out to see him is going to make the situation any better.”
“He shouldn’t be alone. You know it’s a bad idea to leave him alone when he’s hurting,” I reminded her. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she, too, remembered those early years of our marriage when the break had left him hurting and then gotten him into trouble.
Leighanne folded her arms. “Okay, fine. I’d rather you talk to him than hear about him being arrested again. Since Baylee’s decided he wants to grow up to be just like Uncle Nick, I’d rather he not see the bad stuff.”
“I love you, Leigh.” I kissed her and could feel her lips curve into a smile against mine.
“Yeah, yeah. I love you, too.”
Two hours later, after a short plane ride, I drove my rental car down the highway and took the exit for the bridge that I knew would lead to Clearwater. It had been a long while since I’d been down here—the last time was when we’d done a show on our last tour. Almost a year later, I was back. But the circumstances weren’t exactly happy.
At the age of twenty-nine, Nick Carter had finally found true love and had been engaged faster than we could blink. The rest of us really liked Jamie, too. She was down to earth, sweet, and had a good sense of humor. All qualities, Nick definitely needed. Their wedding was to take place in three months’ time.
When Howie called me three days earlier to say that Jamie had left Nick, I’d been shocked. I think all of us were. What could have possibly gone wrong? No one knew, and, I think, Nick hadn’t offered up the information. Instead, he’d holed himself up in his Clearwater home.
Kevin had called the day before to insist that I, living the closest to Nick, go down and see him. Honestly, I don’t think I’m the right guy for the job because Nick and I stopped being close years ago. Even though we’re still good friends, there are too many times where we get on each other’s last nerves. But the other guys were tied up with their own lives. Howie wouldn’t leave Leigh’s side because she was due to have their baby any day. AJ and Rachel were on their honeymoon in Tahiti, and Kevin was in London.
So, there I was, driving down the palm tree lined roads. I recognized Nick’s house the instant I turned onto his street, and pulled into the driveway behind his Range Rover. The shades were pulled on every window of his house, and, as I walked up the path to the front door, there wasn’t a single sound from inside the house. Which is odd because, when Nick’s by himself, he blasts music at a level loud enough to kill your eardrums.
I rang the doorbell once, then twice, then three times. Finally, I started pounding away on the door. I was seeing red by the time Nick actually opened the door. One look at his face had my anger disappearing instantly.
“Oh, Nick.”
He didn’t say anything when I stepped in and pulled him into a hug. I have to admit, he smelled, and I figured he’d been too busy moping to worry about personal hygiene. I guess if Leighanne left me, I’d probably do the same thing.
“I’m really sorry, Nick.” I kept an arm around his shoulders, awkward as it was for little old me to do so when he was half a foot taller than me.
He shrugged a little, but I could see the tears, glossy in his dull blue eyes. It hurt to see him like that. “Me, too.” His voice was scratchy, as though it had been days since he’d spoken. Which, come to think of it, it probably had been.
I glanced around his home as we walked towards the back of the house. Everything was surprisingly neat and tidy. There weren’t any dishes in the sink, but I could hear the dishwasher running, which meant, amazingly enough, that Nick was doing the dishes. I guess I just figured he’d throw things around and refuse to do anything. But he’s been surprising all of us lately.
Nick pushed open the back door, and we stepped onto the deck. The smell of salt water immediately assaulted my nose, and I could hear the gulls cry out as they flew above us. I studied Nick as he slumped into a chair at the table that was set out here. Where there was no mess inside, there was definitely chaos out here.
Masses of pages littered the wooden table and fell to the floor around it. The wind lifted and moved some of them around, and, when one floated near my feet, I knelt and picked it up. It was a pencil sketch of Jamie, a really good one, and I looked from the picture to where Nick sat, his eyes squeezed shut as though to keep anything from touching him.
“Nick. Talk to me.” I sat next to him and noted that all of the pages were either sketches of Jamie or scrawled notes. “I’m sorry about Jamie, but I’m worried about you. All of us are.”
“So you decided to come down and see me miserable?” His voice was bitter. “Didn’t you have anything better to do, Brian? I didn’t think I was worthy of your time and attention.”
I knew it was the pain talking, knew it wasn’t Nick saying these words. It had been a long, long time since I’d seen him this way, and I wondered how I could get through to him. “Don’t say that, Nick. You know I love you. I’m worried about you.” Taking a chance, I put my hand on his arm and was surprised when he didn’t shrug it off. “What happened?”
He was quiet for a long time, but I knew he’d heard my question. His body had stiffened, and more tears had slipped and slid down his cheeks. After a while, he shrugged and opened his red-rimmed, puffy eyes. The blue of his eyes was darkened with pain and stood out shockingly against the red. “I fucked up, the way everyone knew I would. Remember when I said that love wasn’t for me? Well, I was right.”
“No, you weren’t.” I shook his shoulder a little. “Nick, you know you weren’t wrong. Jamie was perfect for you, and you two were in love. Everyone could see that. God, Nick, we were all so happy for you.”
“Yeah, well, I screwed up.”
“How? What happened? What do you think you did that messed things up?”
Nick stared at his hands for a few seconds before he looked up at me again. “We got into a fight a month and a half ago, and I really hurt her. Things were weird for a while.” His voice began to shake. “Three days ago, she told me she was pregnant.”
“Nick.” I couldn’t believe it. Nick was going to be a father. My heart swelled with pride and joy for him, even as it hurt for him because things were obviously not right.
“It’s not mine, Brian.”
So much, I thought, for pride and joy.
Story Notes:
This is just another idea I was playing around with and decided to write. It's only going to be a few chapters long, but I hope you enjoy it!
