The closer we got to Brian’s house, the more nauseous I got. I couldn’t seem to control the thoughts racing through my mind. What if he doesn’t like me? What if he’s scared of me? Will he know who I am or will he think I am just another stranger? I sat there staring out the window wondering what I was doing. Why are you doing this to me?

“Doing what?” Brian asked. I hadn’t ever realized I had it out loud, but now Brian was waiting for an answer I didn’t have.

“Driving like a crazy person. The last I remembered, you were an excellent driver,” I covered quickly, not wanting him to know what was really on my mind.

He turned to me, his scrutinizing stare making me extremely self-conscious. I could tell by his facial expression that he didn’t believe me, but, luckily, he didn’t push the issue. “I’m just worried about Baylee. I’m usually a very safe driver.”

 I nodded, letting the subject drop. We rode the rest of the way in silence, but every few seconds, I could feel Brian’s eyes staring at the back of my head. I never once dared to turn toward him, though, because I knew he would be able to read me instantly with just one glance into my eyes. He had always been able to understand me without either of us having to utter a single word. It was what made us so great together. We could have an entire conversation with just our eyes.

When we finally pulled into his driveway, I refused to move from my seat in his car. I didn’t know what to expect inside that house and I was terrified I would screw up or upset Baylee in some way.

I watched Brian get out of the car and start to make his way to my side, but before he could reach me, Jenny was outside and crying into Brian’s arms trying to explain what was happening with Baylee. With one glance in my direction, I knew that he was trying to reassure me that everything would be alright and to convince me to follow them into the house. I took a deep breath before stepping out of the car and doing just that.

As soon as I was in the house, I immediately felt out of place. This was HIS house. This was the house he shared with Leighanne. I didn’t belong here. I felt like an intruder, and I had no idea where I was supposed to go or what Brian expected from me.

I followed Jenny and Brian into the living room where we saw Baylee curled up on the couch, silent tears falling down his cheeks as he tried to watch his Donald Duck videos. I smiled at Brian when he looked at me, his eyes speaking volumes. I finally understood why I was there. This was OUR son, and he needed his parents. He needed a mother’s touch because, truthfully, he had never had it before. Leighanne, Brian had told me on more than one occasion, still resented Baylee because he was a constant reminder that Brian loved someone else. She was never downright mean to him, but she was definitely NOT a mother to him.

“Hey buddy,” Brian greeted him, kneeling in front of the couch and feeling Baylee’s forehead.

“I dun feel good, daddy,” Baylee told Brian.

“I know, little man. Just hang in there, and we’ll make it all better,” he soothed, brushing his son’s curls away from his eyes. “Mel, come here,” he requested, turning his attention on me. I quickly made my way to where they were, kneeling down so that I was at the same level Brian was at. “Baylee, this is Mel. Is it alright if she stays with you while I go and get you something to make you feel better?” Brian asked.

I watched as Baylee’s eyes shifted from me to Brian and back again. “Hi Baylee,” I smiled at him.

Before I even had time to react, Baylee’s arms were around my neck and he was clinging to me as if his life depended on it. Brian gave me a proud smile as he watched me comfort Baylee. I looked at him, tears welling in my eyes as I rubbed Baylee’s back, trying to soothe his pain.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’m going to drop Jenny off at home and then I am going to get something for Baylee,” Brian explained. I simply nodded in response, not once taking my eyes off of Baylee.

Brian walked out of the room, and I turned all my attention to our son. “Do you want to lie down so you can still watch TV?” I asked. At his nod, I maneuvered the both of us so that his head was resting in my lap as he lay across the couch.

We sat there in silence, watching the television while we waited for Brian to get back. When I realized I hadn’t heard anything from Baylee for awhile, I looked down and saw a sight that made my heart soar. He was fast asleep, as comfortable as could be in my lap. I felt my eyes well up, looking at my beautiful little boy. As I watched him sleep, I noticed how much he really was a mix between me and Brian. While he had Brian’s curly hair, he had the exact hair color I had at his age. His eyes were purely Brian’s, but his smile was all me.

It hit me then that Brian had done this just as much for me as he had for Baylee. He knew how much I had missed Baylee and how much it hurt me to know that some other woman was raising the child Brian and I had conceived out of love. By letting me take care of Baylee, Brian was trying to show me that while Leighanne may have demanded custody, she had not had an influence on our son.

“Hey…” I heard him whisper behind me. “Are you okay?” He gently reached over and wiped my tears away with his thumb. His warm, caring smile brought more tears to my eyes, quickly replacing the dry paths with fresh tears.

“Thank you,” was all I could manage to get out, but it was more than enough for Brian to know what I was thinking.

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m sorry it took me so long to get my head on straight,” he apologized.

We sat there together, for the first time, as a family, Brian comforting me while I held our sick son. It was then that I knew what it was all for. It was then that I realized I had no other choice but to fight for what was rightfully mine. It was then that I vowed to do whatever it took to get my family back.

Two hours later, after Brian and I had managed to get Baylee to sleep in his bed, knocked out by the medicine, we found ourselves cuddling in Brian’s room, talking about what lie before us and what I had missed in our son’s life thus far.

“He’s a very energetic kid… but then again, we were both the same way,” Brian laughed, sharing a story about Baylee’s first trip to DisneyWorld.

“I bet you were right there with him running from ride to ride. You can’t fool me, Brian, I know you. You’re just a big kid in a grown man’s body,” I said, knowing that is exactly what happened.

“Yeah, well. He needed SOMEONE to go on the rides with him,” Brian defended. I just sat there laughing my head off at him, loving just being near him. “Besides, you know, I’m not a kid ALL the time,” he sexily growled, our innocent conversation suddenly charged with sexual tension.

“Oh… I don’t know about that. It’s been awhile since you’ve proved it to me,” I teased. “A lot can change in 3 years.”

“Not that much,” he told me, crawling over me and kissing me passionately.

Just as we started making out, a little voice called out from the room down the hall. “Daddy?”

He quickly pulled his lips from mine, placing his face between my neck and my shoulder in disappointment. “This is not over,” he commanded, telling me that I had a lot to look forward to in the near future.

“Daddy?” Baylee called out again.

Brian rolled off of me and slowly pulled himself up off the bed, quickly trying to clear his hair and his clothes of any signs of our previous activities.

“Daddy?” the voice called one last time, this time right outside the door.

“Hey buddy, what’s wrong?” Brian questioned, opening the door for his son.

“You lefted me,” Baylee said, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to get rid of the sleep that had accumulated in the corners.

“I know Bud. But I’ve been right here the whole time. I promise. Just ask Mel,” Brian assured our son.

“Can I sweep here?” Baylee asked.

Brian sent me a questioning look to which I responded with a single nod. “Of course you can, little man,” Brian agreed, swooping Baylee up in his arms and flying him to the bed as if he were a miniature airplane.

As soon as he had “landed” I tucked him in under the blankets and he snuggled up to my side as close as he could get. Brian followed his son’s path, getting under the covers with us and snuggling as close to me as he could get with another body between us.

 That night we spent our first night as a real family. As we drifted off the sleep, the same thought floated through both Brian’s and my mind: This is our family. We’re finally together.