I had been so lost in thought, that I hadn’t even realized that Brian had returned and was now sitting on the couch beside me. When I did notice him, I saw that he was in a similar state as me. His eyes clearly revealed the inner-war he was waging. I knew what I had to say to him wouldn’t help his state, but might end up making it worse.

“How did rehearsal go?” I asked, trying to ease into the conversation.

“It was okay,” he softly responded. “We need to talk, Mel.”

“I know.”

“We can’t take our frustration out on each other. We have to stick together if we’re going to get through this,” he preached, sounding remarkably like John.

“I know that, Brian, but I can’t just let what we said go without discussing it. We may have said it out of anger and frustration… but if we said it, there was some kind of truth behind it. We must have believed it to some extent if we thought it,” I argued.

He sighed loudly, running his hand through his hair like he always did when he was frustrated. “Damnit, Mel. I’m trying to put all this behind us so we can concentrate on everything else,” he ranted.

“But we’ll never truly get through it unless we discuss it. If we keep everything bottled up inside, we’re going to destroy any chance we have of being together. Don’t you get that?” I asked, getting aggravated with his logic.

“I’m scared, Mel. I don’t want to lose you because of a stupid fight,” he admitted, finally revealing his true source of fear and pain.

“Then we have to actually talk about it and not just ignore it,” I softly instructed. I saw his shoulders slump in resignation, letting me know he wasn’t going to fight me on this matter anymore.

There was a quiet knock on the door before a stagehand stuck his head in. “Brian, we need you for the meet and greet,” he said, leaving as quickly as he had entered.

“I have to go. Tonight, on the bus, we’ll talk,” he said, rushing off to meet the lucky fans who got to come backstage before they show. I opted to stay in the back room during the concert, trying to gather my thoughts. I had the TV turned down low, and I wasn’t even paying attention until I heard Brian’s name mentioned. I immediately grabbed the remote, turning up the volume on the program.

“It seems that there is trouble in paradise for Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell. Brian Littrell and wife, Leighanne Littrell, were married on September 2, 2000, in an intimate wedding ceremony in Atlanta, Georgia. Two years later, she gave birth to a son, Baylee Thomas Wylee Littrell. From day one, Brian and Leighanne appeared to have the perfect marriage. But appearances can be deceiving. Leighanne stopped by the studios today to talk about her upcoming blockbuster release, No Way Out, and ended up giving us the scoop on her matrimonial discordance.

“Brian and I have been dealing with some unresolved issues lately… or rather, they started shortly after the beginning of our life together,” she said, pretending to look down in shame.

“What kind of problems?” the interviewer, Kat Daniels, asked.

“Fidelity issues, mainly,” she blushed, seemingly ashamed to be giving away such personal and private information.

“On your part or his?” Kat pushed.

“Both,” she admitted.

I was shocked that she had admitted to it on her part, but then I realized that she was trying to appear the victim, while not leaving anything for us to retaliate with. She was spinning the story her way, and she had the advantage since she was the first one to come forward with it.

“Both?” Kat asked, leading Leighanne to elaborate.

“I met someone a few years ago that I just connected with. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was short-lived though, and I told Brian about it and we moved on. I’ve always been a little hurt, though, that Brian has always carried this love for someone else during our entire relationship. And during Brian’s hiatus in 2002, even though we were married, Brian and his former flame from high school, Melanie Davis, reconnected. We’ve both made some mistakes, but with the sudden re-emergence of Melanie in his life, I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I left the tour. I don’t know how things will work out, but I can’t handle knowing I’m his second choice anymore. Things just aren’t going well right now,” she confessed, pretending she was so upset by the events and that she was innocent in everything. “Most of all, though, I’m worried about the effect all this will have on our son, Baylee. I don’t want him to get caught up in the middle of this, and I know Brian will try to keep Baylee with him. I’m worried this will be too much for Baylee to handle.”

“So there you have it. Leighanne Littrell and Brian Littrell are in for a bumpy ride over the next few months. Stay tuned to E! for all the latest news involved in this story. Reporting for E! News, I’m Kat Daniels.”

I turned off the TV, unable to believe that she had told the world about Brian and me. It was only a matter of time before people discovered that I was the one Leighanne was talking about and then all hell would break loose. And now that she had told the world about her and Brian’s problems, I was scared that her next move would be telling John’s secret. Plus, I couldn’t believe she dragged Baylee’s into this. She didn’t care about him… she just cared that he could make people feel sorry for her and possibly gain her some extra support.

Just when I thought matters couldn’t get worse, she had to pull this. By the time the show was over and I was being rushed to the bus, I was fuming with anger for this woman. Who the hell did she think she was to be telling the whole world our business? How dare she involve MY son in her scandal. I couldn’t even begin to believe her nerve.

I started breathing heavily, unsuccessfully trying to calm myself down. That was how Brian found me 20 minutes later when the Boys boarded the busses and we started our journey to Arizona.

“Mel… is everything alright?” he asked.

“THAT SNEAKY BITCH!” I screamed, letting loose of all the anger I had been holding in. “Who the HELL does she think she is? She thinks she owns the world and that everything has to revolve around her. How DARE she involve OUR son in her life. She had NO right to do that. And how DARE she try to blame everything on us,” I kept ranting, unable to stop now that I had started.

“Mel, what are you talking about?” Brian asked.

“Leighanne did an interview today discussing your marriage and your ‘fidelity issues’,” I explained, still seething.

“She did? When? What did she say?” he asked.

“Here,” I said, pulling up E!’s website and opening the story for him to see.

I watched as his anger grew with every second. Leighanne had gone too far. “That BITCH!” he yelled. I had never heard Brian so angry before, and honestly, it scared me. I had never heard him curse like that, and I didn’t know how to react.

“I’m sorry you got dragged into all this, Mel,” he apologized, his hand running through his hair.

“It’s not your fault Brian. We were both the blame. We should have come clean about it in your interviews this morning,” I sighed.

It was like the mention of this morning brought back the memories of the fight we’d had that afternoon. “Mel…” he began.

“Brian…” I said at the same time.

“You go first,” he offered, smiling lightly at me.

“Brian, I’m sorry about what I said this afternoon about not trusting you. I do trust you. It’s just that no matter what, I have this underlying fear that one day you are going to decide that I’m not worth the trouble and leave me stranded again. I’m so afraid of losing you that it’s disrupting my ability to let my walls down completely around you. I’ve been hurt by you twice before, and I just can’t seem to allow myself to take the chance of losing you again right now until all this stuff with Leighanne is done and out of the picture,” I explained. I loved Brian dearly, but there was a part of me that warned me to be careful. The fear and the hurt were still too raw for me to get over them yet.

“I understand, Mel. You have every right to feel that way. I have made more than my fair share of mistakes when it comes to us. It just felt like a slap in the face to hear it out loud. I’m sorry, too, Mel. I know that we belong together, and I said what I said because I was hurt and I wanted to hurt you back. I was wrong, though. And I know that you have a life. I shouldn’t have just assumed anything or pressured you into staying. I know you love me and that you’re with me everywhere I go. I understand that you need to get back to John,” he countered.

“I’m not going anywhere, Brian. I know where I need to be, at least until all this is over… and that’s by your side,” I smiled.

He returned the smile, hesitantly grabbing my hand. “So is everything good between us now?” he asked.

“Yeah… it’s good,” I nodded. He took that opportunity to lean in and give me a short, but effective kiss.

“I love you, Mel. Nothing will change that,” he told me.

“I know. I love you, too,” I responded, looking into his eyes. I maneuvered myself on the “couch” we were sharing so that he could wrap his arms around me and I could lay down in his arms.

The feel of his warm arms around me, the exhaustion from the day’s activities wearing down on me, and the steady lull of the busses engine were enough to put me to sleep almost instantly. The last thing I heard before drifting into oblivion was the sound of Brian’s honey-sweet voice telling me “Goodnight,” and that he would do whatever it took to prove to me that he was not going anywhere.

*the next day – Arizona*

News had spread quickly about Leighanne’s confession the day before, and by the time we reached Arizona, everyone was talking about it. It was so bad that Brian’s management came to me, requesting that I do a few interviews with Brian to try and do damage control. Knowing there was no way around it, I agreed.

It was just before our first interview that another hot story broke that concerned our situation. Brian and I were in the green room, watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air when a news announcement broke through.

“This is Kat Daniels, coming to you live from a press conference called by one half of the Christian songwriting and production team of All In Faith. John Williams and wife, Melanie Davis, started the team just months after their marriage in Nashville, Tennessee 2 years ago. Melanie Davis has been in other news recently when Leighanne Littrell confessed that her husband, Backstreet Boy’s Brian Littrell, was still involved with his high-school sweetheart, Melanie. It appears John Williams has just walked out onto the stage,” she introduced the story.

“Thank you, ladies and gentleman of press, for coming out here today. I have an important announcement to make in light of yesterday’s discoveries involving my wife and Brian Littrell,” John told the audience. “I will take some questions from the audience before making my announcement.”

“Is it true that your wife is involved with Brian Littrell?” one reporter yelled out.

“Yes, the rumors are true. Melanie and Brian share a rare kind of love that only happens once every few hundred years. Their love is the kind of love we read about to this day. Romeo and Juliet. Antony and Cleopatra. Buffy and Angel,” he said, chuckling at the last one. “They have spent their whole lives fighting to get to the point they are at now, and it’s a shame that someone like Leighanne Wallace can just come in and try to take that away from them. They are both two of the most amazing people I have ever met, and they deserve the happiness and love they’ve found in one another more than any two people I have met in my entire life.”

“Are you telling us you’re not even the least bit upset that your wife is cheating on you?” another reporter asked.

“That is exactly what I am saying. My wife and I have a very unique relationship. First and foremost, she is my best friend, and I want nothing more than to see her happy. If Brian makes her happy, than who am I to get upset?” he defended.

“What are your future plans now that the truth is out? Is a divorce in the future?” someone else shouted.

“Hopefully there will be a divorce in the near future. I don’t want to keep Mel tied down in a relationship with me when she has him. They deserve the chance to get married and have their own life, just like everyone else,” John continued to knock down the questions one by one.

“How long has their relationship been going on?” another reporter ventured to ask.

“That is a question you are going to have to ask them. It’s not my place to give out that information,” he said, refusing to answer the question.

“What do you think about how this situation will effect Brian and Leighanne’s son?” another reported called.

“I don’t really know how to answer that question, having only met Baylee once. I do know, though, that Brian will make sure Baylee is taken care of and understands what is going on in the situation. He is an amazing father, and his son is one of the most important things in his life alongside his relationship with Mel and the Backstreet Boys. I have no doubt that Baylee will be just fine,” John supported. “I don’t have much time left, so I’d like to go ahead and make my announcement. It’s something I probably should have done a long time ago, but fear is a funny thing. I’ve been hiding my true self from the world for far too long. I’ve done everything in my power to try to ensure that it doesn’t get out, but I now find myself in a situation where I need to come clean. It’s time the world knew that a lot of the things you think you know about my life are lies. My marriage is not what it seems. Even I am not what I seem. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m gay.”

At his confession, the entire room gasped in shock and astonishment. Questions were flying around the room, ending up a jumbled mess as John stood in the center of it all.

I turned to look at Brian, both of us thinking the same thing: he did this for us. John had just made the ultimate sacrifice so that Brian and I could be together. I had never been prouder to have John as a part of my life. And as I watched John answer more questions and talk to the press like a pro, I saw a weight lifted from him as he finally shared the secret he had spent his life protecting. It was like he was suddenly able to be himself. He had no more chains holding him down and trying to pull him under. He was free.

“He’s an amazing man,” Brian said.

“Yes he is,” I agreed, resting my head on Brian’s shoulder as we continued to watch the conference until the very last question had been answered.

It was right at that time that there was a knock on the door signaling we were needed on set. With one last look at the TV, we turned it off and walked confidently out the doors. There was nothing holding us back anymore. With John’s confession, he had not only freed himself, but he had also freed Brian and I. With huge smiles, we faced the world together for the first time, a new hope shining in our hearts.