BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

I reached over quickly, nearly falling out of bed to turn my alarm off. I stared at the glowing red numbers, unable to comprehend their meaning. I felt warm arms wrap themselves around my body, pulling me into their comfort. I smiled contently, feeling safe and complete for the first time in years.

“Good morning, Mel,” Brian rasped into my ear.

“Good morning, Brian,” I sighed, wishing we could just spend the day in bed in each other’s arms.

“What time is it?” he asked, knowing that we would be pushing our luck if we didn’t get to the event on time.

“6:30,” I said, the anger I tried to hide seeping into my voice.

“All we have to do is get through today and then we can spend all day together tomorrow,” Brian reminded me, trying to be optimistic.

“We better get up. You still have to get home and change, but we can save time if you shower here,” I smiled sexily, teasing him.

“Well, we need all the time we can get, don’t we?” he responded back just as sexily.

With that we both dashed off the bed and into the bathroom, closing the door behind us as we started the shower and got lost in one another.

“Alright Roger, I’m here,” I announced walking through the venue gates and over to the congregation gathered by the main event table. “In fact, I’m early,” I cockily added. In fact, I was 20 minutes early, seeing as it was only 8:40.

“Where’s Brian? I thought for sure he would have beat you here,” Roger questioned. I just shrugged, as if to say, ‘I’m not his keeper.’

At that very moment, Brian decided to make his appearance. “I’m here, Roger. I just got held up by a couple of fans asking for autographs outside,” he smiled.

“Alright, we are opening the gates at 10 and we’re running behind, so we have a lot that needs to be done before then. Mel, can you help John set up the PA system for the main tent? Brian, I need you to help us with the banners,” Roger directed. As soon as all the assignments were passed out, we got to work.

“So, I haven’t gotten a chance to hang out with you in a long time. How have you been?” John asked as we started setting up the PA system.

“I’ve been great, John. I know we haven’t been able to do our usual lunch dates, I’ve just been so busy catching up with Brian. This week we will go to any restaurant you want, my treat,” I offered.

“You’re on,” he agreed. “How are things going with him, by the way? I keep forgetting to ask,” he inquired.

“Things have gotten a lot better. He knows he screwed up, and we’ve been working on getting our friendship back,” I admitted. John was one of my best friends. He was the only person at the station that I felt like I could rely on if anything were to happen. He was also the only one I spent any time with outside of work. In fact, John was the only one who knew my deepest, darkest secret. He was the only one who knew that I had been pregnant a couple years back, but that I had lost the baby due to a miscarriage. Even the baby’s father had never known. I was the only one who knew about John’s secret life too. Most people didn’t know that John was gay, and most people would never guess either because he had gotten very good at hiding it over the last few years. Plus, he was trying to break into the Christian music industry, and they didn’t take too kindly to homosexuals, which I thought was kind of ironic since they promote equal acceptance in every other aspect of life.

“Have you told him, yet?” he asked, referring to my miscarriage. Since that day in my office, I had gradually told him more and more about my past with Brian, even going as far as to tell him I used to be in love with him.

“Not yet. I still don’t know how he would react. Plus, he gave up his right to get to know all my secrets when he walked away from our friendship,” I stated slightly-bitterly. I still held some of the resentment from his disappearance, but with every day, it faded a little more. And after last night, I found it even harder to stay mad at him.

“I thought you two were getting along again,” he sneered. I could tell he was upset that I was spending less time with him because of Brian, but I also knew that he could never hold it against me.

“We are, but I’m actually kind of scared to tell him,” I admitted. “I just got him back in my life. I don’t want to lose him again because of my past.

“I understand,” he consoled. “I think we are ready for a mic test,” he added.

I grabbed the wireless mic we had sitting on the table and turned it on. I waited for John’s cue before doing my usual mic test procedure. When we were sure that the system was up and running, we headed over to the rest of the crew to see if they needed any help.

“Hey guys, need any help?” I asked as we walked up.

“Actually, we just finished,” Brian smiled at me, his eyes lighting up at the sight of me.

“Alright guys, Brian, Mel, the tent is already set up for you to meet and greet with the listeners. We are going to have you broadcasting until 2:00, and then we are going to have you move to the autograph tent for the next 2 hours before we start preparing for the show,” Roger instructed.

“Whatever,” I muttered under my breath, already walking away.

Brian exchanged a couple more sentences with Roger before joining me. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

I sighed, looking at him. “I’m just pissed that I have to be here, that’s all,” I said.

“You’re lying,” he accused, no hesitation at all.

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye before sighing in defeat. “I was just thinking earlier how hard it’s going to be not to let anyone find out about us. We can’t let our eyes linger too long, we can’t hold hands, we can’t kiss in public; we can’t even talk too loudly in case someone hears us. How is this ever going to work out?” I questioned, even though I knew he had as few answers as I did.

“We have to, Mel. I’m a married man. I’m supposed to be the good boy of the Backstreet Boys… the one who always does the right thing. But there is no way I can live without you, either. I need you. You give me a reason to smile and look forward to every day. Just bear with me for awhile, and we’ll figure something out,” he begged me to understand.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I half-smiled. I had a bad feeling that things were going to end badly for me. I just felt deep down that I was going to be the one that got hurt through all this, but still, I held on to the hope that Brian would prove me wrong.

We spent the next 4 hours broadcasting live from the event, interviewing concert-goers, and just plain having fun being together. Before we knew it we were being ushered to the autograph tent where we were too busy to do much of anything except take pictures with fans, sign autographs, and talk briefly with each person that came through the line.

“Alright guys, it’s time to get ready,” Roger said, relieving us from our autograph-signing duties.

We quickly packed up our stuff, waving to the people we had been talking to since we had finished going through the line 10 minutes prior to Roger’s arrival and headed backstage to get ready for the show. Brian and I were going to be hosting the show, being MCs onstage, and interviewing the stars backstage in between performances. It was going to be a long night for us, but this is what I lived for. I loved being on stage and getting to talk with the celebrities. Obviously, Brian loved it too by his career choice.

Five minutes before show time, Brian took me into his dressing room, locking the door behind him and pulling me into his arms. “I love you, Mel. I just needed to hold you, and I’ve been dying to kiss you all day,” he unnecessarily explained.

“I feel the same way,” I breathed just before our lips touched.

His kiss was full of love and passion. I could feel both of our desires increase with every second, which is why I pulled back before anything else could happen.

“I love you, Brian. I’ll never stop,” I whispered into his chest as he held me close. We both took a deep breath before pulling apart and walking out of the room, ready to get the show on the road, as they say.

We waited behind the curtain for our cue before I made my way to the center of the stage. “How are you doing, Atlanta?” I called, getting a huge response. I gave them a disappointed look, shaking my head. “Now, I know you can do better than that. Atlanta, are you ready to PAAAAAAAAAAAARTY!” I screamed, imitating a famous live recording of the Backstreet Boys that had been on the Burger King CDs they had released. The response was almost deafening as I smiled at the crowd. “That’s better. We have an amazing show planned for you all today, but before we get into that, I want to introduce someone from my past who I am sure you are all very familiar with. We grew up together in Kentucky, and now, he is my Friday morning co-host on the morning show. You know who I’m talking about,” I teased the crowd. “For those who don’t know, maybe I should give you a hint. ‘You are, my fire… my one, desire…Believe when I say,” I sang to the crowd, causing them to erupt in screams.

Then Brian stepped out onto the stage and finished the verse, “I want it that way.”

We both smiled as the crowd sang along. I watched Brian’s face as he watched the crowd. I knew that he was so grateful to have such amazing fans. To hear them singing his song back to him, it made him feel like the luckiest man on earth. I could tell just by looking at his face, watching his eyes light up that he felt like nothing could ever compare to the feeling he got being on stage. Suddenly it made sense why he had left all those years ago. He would have never been happy just singing to a small church congregation. He was born to perform for millions. He was destined for greatness, and I had been selfish for holding resentment for him following his heart. Suddenly, I felt so guilty for holding a grudge.

“Well, enough talk. Let’s get the party started with Pink,” we both said, running off stage.

As soon as we were clear and our mics were switched off, I turned to Brian, sincerity and regret shining in my green eyes. “Brian, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” he questioned, clearly confused by my sudden outburst.

“All this time, I’ve been mad at you because you left, but I just realized I was being selfish. You were following your heart. You were destined for this life. Watching you on that stage made me realize I was being stupid for holding a grudge,” I confessed.

“Mel! Don’t be silly! You had every right to be mad. I was so stupid for not calling. I just abandoned you after I promised I wouldn’t. I broke my word and your trust,” he soothed. Still I couldn’t help but feel bad about being mad at him.

“Still, I’m sorry,” I said.

“Me too,” he repeated.

“Guys, we need you in the interview room for No Doubt,” a crew hand directed us.

We went through the interview quickly and easily, and were back on stage before we knew it. The show went by extremely quickly, between being shuttled back and forth from the stage to the interview room, but the one part that stood out was the part where Brian brought me out on stage during his mini-set and had me sing a duet with him.

As soon as we were done with the concert, Brian and I made our way out of the venue, heading back to my house to watch a movie. Fifteen minutes into it, we were both asleep using one another for pillows. As badly as the day had started out, it had ended with a surprisingly good twist. Just being near Brian all day had made the entire ordeal ten times better. When I finally realized that the next morning, I knew exactly how much I loved him and how I could not lose him again. If I did, I was afraid that next time I might not be able to move on with my life. Before Brian woke up, I sent a silent prayer to God, praying that our love was enough and to keep me strong in the event that anything did happen.