- Text Size +
He watched the snow fall steadily, wondering when, or even if, it was ever going to stop. It wasn't that he minded; just a thought, really. Snow was one of those things that was unpredictable, despite what any weather person says. Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're way wrong. It was awesome to watch, too. Even in a horrible storm, the flakes seemed to fall so gracefully. Most people seemed to underestimate just what snow could do. They feared hurricanes, and floods or tsunami's, as well as tornadoes or earthquakes. But how often did you REALLY hear someone say, "Oh no! Not the snow!"? Avalanches are common in many places, and they're just as devastating as any other national disaster.

"Hey, Aje. You still in there?" He jumped, startled out of his thoughts, and looked at his friend.

"Hunh? Oh, yeah. Just thinking." Brian smiled and looked out the window.

"Thinking about your snow theory again?" AJ smiled and looked out the window as well.

"You know me so well." Brian patted his friend on the shoulder and turned to leave him to his thoughts. "Hey, Bri?" Brian turned around, but AJ froze. "Um...When are we leaving tomorrow? I forgot." Brian smiled and shook his head.

"Sometimes I think you're worse than Nick with your forgetfulness. We're leaving here a little before noon, so we can make it to the airport on time. We should be in the air by 2 or so." AJ nodded and looked back out the window once more.

"Okay. Thanks." Brian nodded and left him alone. That's the one thing he didn't want, though. He was more lonely than he had been in awhile, but he just couldn't voice it. He'd started getting more comfortable with drinking again, and it scared him. But he refused to go to anymore damn AA meetings, and it was too hard to speak up. He feared that it would take him over again, but he had to keep telling himself it wouldn't. He'd get control over himself again.

He had to.


********************************


"YO! AJ!" Nick yelled, throwing another pillow at the sleeping man's head. "Get up! We're gonna be late!" AJ shot out of bed, tripping over the mess of blankets he'd thrown off during the night.

"Shit shit shit," he mumbled, trying to find his stuff. He'd already packed, knowing he'd most likely sleep in again, but now he couldn't remember where he put it.

"Your stuff's already in the van, bro. Just get dressed and stuff." AJ breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, Nicky. I'll be out in 5." He ran to the bathroom, grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, and simultaneously relieved himself while brushing his teeth. 'I really am falling apart, aren't I?' he solemnly thought to himself.

A few minutes later, he emerged from his room, ready to go. The others were finishing up breakfast, so he felt better. Then realization dawned on him.

"Y'all woke me up earlier than normal so I'd be on time, huh?" They all grinned and nodded. He flipped them off, smiling, and grabbed a muffin and some coffee.

"Alright, let's go!" one of their bodyguards called out. They all hustled to get their things together and headed out.

When they got to the airport 20 minutes later, they were informed that their flight was delayed by an hour due to a snow storm. AJ took this chance to sneak away to find a bar for a drink. He was grateful when no one followed him, though his conscience wasn't shutting up. He knew having a drink now was just proving his fear, but he tried to ignore it. 'I'm stronger than the alcohol. I just want one for the hell of it,' he thought, trying to convince himself that nothing was wrong.

After he'd finished a couple beers, he ran to the restroom to brush his teeth and check himself over again. Howie came in and saw him brushing his teeth, but thought nothing of it.

"You and your hygiene. You'd think you were a germophobe or something." AJ grinned and put his toothbrush back in his carry-on.

"Gotta keep it clean and everything for the ladies, D," he joked as he passed his fellow bandmate on the way out the door. Howie turned around, sniffing the air.

"Wait." AJ froze. 'He knows.' "Do you smell that?" He turned around and sniffed the air for effect, though he really didn't smell anything.

"No...I think you're losing it, Howie," he teased. Howie frowned and shook his head.

"It must've been your toothpaste or something. What kind are you using?"

"Aquafresh. I switched brands. Wanted to mix it up." Howie made a disgusted face and covered his nose.

"Oh yuck. I knew it smelled funny. I hate that brand." AJ laughed and turned to leave.

"I'll see you back at the gate, weirdo." When he was clear of the bathroom, he let out the breath he'd been holding. He had almost been caught. There weren't going to be many more off-chance instances like that again. He made a mental vow to give it up, again, and talk to the guys later that night. Hopefully he could keep this promise, since he never usually did with himself.