Questions raced through her mind and she barely had time to comprehend any of it. Everything was a blur. Nick was here and now he wasn’t. That was cold hard fact. Where did he go? Where was she? Why was she tied down? Who was this woman?
She knew none of these answers and this harsh reality settled slowly into her thoughts, aiding her rise in panic. The woman by the bed only stood staring down at her with a mixture of pity and compassion.
Julia felt the bare, cold walls closing in on her. This inhumane room only made her more frantic. She began to fight against her restraints again, but now more forcefully. She needed to get free. She needed to get out. This couldn’t be right. All of this couldn’t be right. This can’t be real. She had escaped this. She had made a decision and she had escaped.
Didn’t she?
This subtle doubt that slipped into her thoughts made her heart freeze in terror. Did it not work?
She immediately disregarded the ridiculous thought. He was here. He was just here! It had to have worked.
“Where am I!?” Julia exclaimed, feeling her skin break out into a cold sweat. Her brown hair lied flatly against her scalp, wild and disarrayed. From an outsider’s point of view, she looked like a tired, broken woman. The beauty that was once there was now hidden beneath a blanket of pain and sorrow. She was merely a shadow of her former self. She was a woman that had degraded into this empty shell that yearned so much to be filled whole again, and all because of just one fateful night. One night and Julia Kiley’s life shattered into a billion miniscule pieces, never to be found again.
The woman with the clipboard pressed down on her hand firmly, “You need to calm down Julia.”
“Calm down!? How can I calm down!? Where am I!?” she yelled. “Who are you!? Where’s Nick!? Where’s Nick!?”
Julia found herself choking up almost instantly. She cried out, “Where is he!? He was here! He was just here!”
The woman barely seemed fazed. She watched as Julia thrashed about, yanking her arms as hard as she could, twisting her torso painfully to gain leverage. The woman was used to this. Every patient tested out the boundaries. In time, Julia would give up. What always varied, however, was how long it would take.
“I told you already dear. He’s not here,” the woman said calmly. “And you’re safe. You can’t hurt yourself here. Not with us watching over you.”
“Us?” Julia asked. This statement distracted Julia momentarily and she stopped struggling. Her wrists were red and raw from her distress, and though she couldn’t see it, the bandages on the palm side of both her arms were beginning to bleed through. Her body was already on fire or else she would have felt the heated throbbing of her wounds.
“We’re here to help you, not hurt you,” the woman soothed. Julia shook her head slowly at first and then faster until she was finally screaming. Julia opened her mouth and forced all her energy into her cry for help. Her throat was already raw and the pain seared through her throat, but she unleashed her screams anyway.
Julia couldn’t accept this. She couldn’t. Not when she’s gone through so much already. It wouldn’t be fair for this to be real.
Where was he? He couldn’t leave her again, not when she had finally found him. She’d been looking for so long, and then there he was. He was here. He was right here lying beside her. His crystalline blue eyes were staring into hers and she could see the smile in them. She could see the recognition and the memories and the life and the love. She could see it all because he was there. She could smell him. Not his cologne, not his deodorant, or his favorite shampoo, but him as a living, breathing human being. She could smell him because he was there. He was right beside her, looking at her, speaking to her. He was there! He was right there! He was real. All of that was real.
This is what’s fake. This woman isn’t reality. This room and these straps and this bed and the cold and the stink aren’t true. They can’t be, because no God is that cruel. Why give something so desperately needed and then take it away only moments later?
No, such cruelty couldn’t exist. He was here, he was real, and this is not.
Julia screamed, and screamed, and thrashed, and screamed some more. Her high pitched screeches filled the small, bare, empty room. It reverberated off the walls in waves of heartbreaking intensity.
The woman with the clipboard flinched and stepped back from the bed, trying to yell over Julia’s screams for her to calm down. She was safe now, there was no need to lose her control. Julia only screamed louder at this. She threw her body every which way, not caring as her limbs screamed their own pain for her to stop.
The door of the room flung open then and two men in white uniforms came rushing in. They lost no time in grabbing Julia’s arms and feet, pinning her down to the bed forcefully. Julia fought against them, but they were too strong. Her body resisted any further movement, but she pushed on anyway. She couldn’t give up. This was just a test. This was only a test. She had to get free!
She barely noticed that the woman had set down the clipboard and had taken out a needle from her white skirt pocket along with a vial of clear liquid. The woman calmly drew the medication into the syringe, pushing up slightly on the end to eject any air within the small tube.
Julia stared wide eyed as the woman approached her, trying to squeeze between the two men that were strongly holding her down, diminishing Julia’s movements extensively. In only a few seconds, the woman’s hands were on Julia’s hips, pulling away clothing to reveal the soft flesh of her hip and thigh. In one swift movement, the woman plunged the needle into her skin, and almost instantaneously, Julia’s muscles began to weaken. She could feel the drug pass through her system at an alarming speed and in only a few seconds time, she had completely stopped fighting. She had completely stopped screaming. She felt her heart rate decrease substantially and the room around her began to blur. She fought to keep her focus, but to no avail. The woman with the needle and the two men stared down at her expectantly, but all Julia could make out were their blurred figures, until finally, blackness enveloped her.
4 Years Earlier
“Shit,” Nick breathlessly cursed as he slipped through the front door of Gucci on Rodeo Drive. The clicking of the photographers' cameras and the photographers' taunts were silenced by the barrier now between them, but the flashing of the lights could still be annoyingly recognized.
Nick slipped his sunglasses off of his face and hooked them to the front of his neck collar. His eyes swept the familiar, quiet store until he spotted where AJ had gone off too. He made his way past the tables full of bags and displays of watches before being able to elbow AJ in his side, “You owe me.”
AJ tore his eyes away from the display of shoes. He rolled his eyes, “Carter, you didn’t have to come.”
Nick grumbled, “I didn’t know the vultures would be out.”
“Neither did I,” AJ shrugged, turning his attention back to a nice pair of leather shoes. Nick glanced back behind him to the throng of photographers waiting outside. They were still feverishly trying to take pictures of them through the window, but they had substantially cooled off since the view was anything but spectacular.
The only reason why Nick was even here in the first place was due to his sheer boredom. Nick had been going crazy alone at home. The boredom was getting a little too overwhelming, so when he had called AJ to see what he was up to, he jumped at the opportunity to tag along while him as he went shopping. His excitement to just be doing something overshadowed his memories of just how intruding LA could be.
He was just surprised at the intensity of the photographers themselves. They were definitely not as popular as they once were, so Nick could only credit today's happenings to their new CD coming out and the hype surrounding it.
A couple of sales associates spotted the two of them from across the store and immediately made a beeline for them. Even if they didn’t know who they were from first glance, they knew they had to be important if the photogs were so interested in them.
“Good evening,” the blonde one smiled politely. Her eyes swept over Nick. They lit up with recognition, but she didn’t give off any other hints that she knew who he was. She was a professional. She worked with celebrities nearly everyday, and she knew damned well that they didn't want to be gushed over.
“Evenin’,” AJ said distractedly as he examined the shoe in his hands. The woman looked down at his selection and commented, “That’s one of our finest leathers. We also have it in black.”
AJ was definitely intrigued at this, “Really? Same price?”
She nodded, turning all her attention now on him, “Yep. I could go grab a pair for you if you want.”
“Actually, I was hoping to look at a few pairs,” AJ explained.
“That’s definitely no problem Mr. McLean,” she said happily. Nick smirked, standing off to the side to glance at a few shoes himself, though he wasn’t interested in purchasing anything. So she did know them. It’s sly how she slipped that in there.
She questioned, “What would you like to look at?”
AJ turned to the wall and did a large sweeping motion with his hand to encompass a good chunk of the selection, “All these. My dogs got a little frisky with my closet this past weekend. I lost a lot of good shoes.”
She chuckled lightly, “It happens from time to time. So, I’ll bring a few out at a time then and we’ll just eliminate the ones you don’t want. Got any preferences?”
“This,” AJ motioned at the shoe in his hands.
“Got it,” she said. She turned to the girl who silently waited patiently behind her. She whispered to her and almost at once, the girl was off to the backroom. The blonde turned back to the two of them, “Would you like to look at anything Mr. Carter?”
Nick shook his head, “No thanks, just along for the ride.”
She nodded in understanding, “Great. Can I get either of you a drink?”
“No thanks babe,” AJ said sweetly. She smiled once more before rushing after the girl who had left only moments before. Once out of earshot, Nick mimicked the girl to AJ, “Can I have your babies Mr. McLean? Can I service you in bed Mr. McLean?”
AJ retaliated, “Can I lick your face Mr. Carter?”
“Lick my face?” Nick asked, staring at AJ oddly. AJ shrugged with a sly smile on his face, “Some girls get turned on by that.”
“Good thing I’m not really interested in the same girls you are,” Nick shuddered. AJ laughed heartily and punched Nick in the arm playfully.
It wasn’t long until the two girls came back out, shoe boxes stacked in their arms. They directed AJ over to a sitting area with a nice array of different angled mirrors and began showing him the different pairs, commenting on the type of leather and other small details that they thought he would be interested in knowing.
Nick watched this spectacle for only a minute or so before growing bored once more. Nick’s attention soon wandered from AJ and his shoes to the nice marbled floor to a display of wallets. Nick’s eye caught an especially nice looking wallet, so he turned away from AJ and picked it up to flip through it idly. He lost interest soon after, and he shrugged, placing it back in its original spot.
He continued to slowly make his way from table to table, stopping occasionally to inspect certain objects. He scanned the racks of men clothing with indifference. At one point however, he spotted a potentially worthy black trench length coat. He took it off the wall to examine it more closely when he heard the front door open once more. He could hear the photographers bustling about outside and just out of human instinct, he raised his head to look out of curiosity. An older looking woman with a pair of large sunglasses and a large designer bag waltzed in, looking completely exasperated. He barely noticed the petite brunette approach her when he began to lower his gaze back to the coat in his hands.
Where most people, men in particular, would have forgotten the scene nearly as soon as it was presented to them, Nick experienced something that everyone experienced at one point or another. With just one glance, without his initial knowledge, something had caught his attention. It wasn’t until he was looking away that this was made clear, and almost instantly, his head snapped back up to look over at the old woman and the brunette.
And just like that, he saw her.
He watched transfixed as the brunette greeted the woman. He had nearly forgotten that he held an article of clothing in his hands, and without a second thought, he absentmindedly placed the hanger back on the rack, not even caring to notice if he had put it in the right place.
He kept his eyes on the brunette, watching as she talked and motioned around the store. He approached a table of scarves and acted as if he were interested, fingering a rather grotesque looking pattern. If asked to look back on this moment and describe all that he looked at in between his sly glances to the girl, he would only just shrug and flatly say that he remembered nothing. Though he was going through the movements, his entire attention was fixed on her and only her.
He noticed the old woman lose interest in the brunette and ultimately shoo her off. He set down the scarf to move to a table closer to where the two women stood. He picked up a newsboy hat and acted as if he were examining it, but his eyes looked past it to the brunette who now was walking away from the old woman. Nick smiled when he saw how annoyed she was.
He lingered there, debating within himself to approach her or not. He knew the photographers were watching carefully and if he showed any kind of interest, they would resume their clicking in an instant. He shuddered to think of the rumors that would fly as a consequence.
He gnawed on the inside of his cheek, about to step forward, and then not. He continued with this absurd game, his eyes still transfixed on the girl now standing by a display of watches. She stood there, her arms crossed over her chest loosely. She looked just as thrilled as he was to be there.
With this thought, he found his legs propelling him forward unexpectedly. He made his way nonchalantly over to where she stood and commenced to glance down at the watches held within the display case. He smiled to himself when he saw that she hadn’t noticed him, but in only a few minutes time, she caught him out of the corner of her eye. She looked slightly surprised, “Oh!”
“Oh?” Nick asked, looking up at her innocently. She blushed slightly at the noise that slipped out of her mouth, “Sorry, I didn’t see you here.”
“It’s okay,” he smiled. He glanced back out at the photographers and was relieved to see that they hadn’t changed their behavior at this new development.
“Looking for a watch?” she inquired coming closer to him.
He felt his skin tingle as her presence radiated towards him. It was then that he noticed that she had deep green eyes. He had not expected this, only assuming that they would match the color of her hair. She saw him staring, unblinking, and she grew a bit puzzled. She raised her hand slightly to touch her face, “Do I have something on my face?”
Nick snapped out of his reverie, “What? No! No, of course not. Sorry.”
She looked relieved at this and lowered her hand to settle on the top of the glass. Nick cleared his throat, embarrassed that he had been caught staring, “It’s just that you have green eyes.”
She was amused by this comment, “Yep, since birth.”
Nick laughed sheepishly, “I guess it would have been cool if you could change your eye color to whatever you wanted every morning.”
“I guess I could. They have contacts for that nowadays,” she mused. Nick fought to keep from blushing. He cursed inwardly at how stupid he must be sounding, “Oh yeah.”
Nick turned his head away from her to mouth ‘Fuck’ to the air before turning back to her with a smile on his face. She laughed lightly, “So, watches?”
Nick’s eyes brightened at the change of subject, “Watches, yep.”
“See any you like?” she asked. Nick looked down into the case and frantically scanned the selection to make it seem that he had something in mind. He didn’t want to come off as if he were hitting on her.
“That one looks nice,” he said, pointing to one. She made her way around the counter and slid back the glass, reaching in to pull the watch out, “This one?”
“That’s the one,” he said dismissively, unable to stop himself from watching her loose curls fall over her shoulders as she bent over.
Man, she was beautiful.
She came back around the counter and handed the watch over. Nick took it gingerly, noticing her well manicured fingers, which was something he would have never noticed before. Small details like that didn’t matter to him. Usually if the girl was cute, had a nice body, and a nice personality, it was good enough for him.
She began to explain the features of the watch; where it was from, how it told the date, could be customized in a certain number of ways, etc. He barely heard a word, glancing from time to time from the watch to her face as she animatedly talked the watch up. It was amazing she knew all this in the first place, but he guessed she had to. Part of her earnings were from commission alone. She had to know her stuff if she had any chance of selling anything, especially around here.
He searched her face, taking in every detail he could. Her complexion was soft and creamy, her eyes were a stunning, sparkling green, and her lips, oh God, her lips. They were the most kissable lips he had ever seen.
In the middle of her spiel, he found himself interrupting her suddenly. He blurted, “What’s your name?”
She was startled at this, stopping suddenly in mid-sentence. She stared at him for a second, trying to regain her composure, “My name?”
He nodded, “Yeah, what’s your name?”
He grinned when he saw her blush slightly. She reached up and tucked some hair behind her ear, “Julia.”
“Julia,” he said softly. It was a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. She looked like a Julia.
He held out his hand then and she looked at it warily. He laughed, “Not a hand shaker?”
She took it sheepishly, shaking it lightly. Happiness swept over him at this, “I’m Nick.”
“Hi Nick,” she said with a smile.
“It’s nice to meet you Julia,” he said sincerely.
She bit her lip, trying to get back on track of what they were doing, “You don’t want the watch do you?”
“How’d you know?” he asked with a cute grin.
“Cause you weren’t listening to a word I said,” she explained. Nick handed back the watch for her to put back, “Sorry. It’s just that my friend is over there trying on a mountain of shoes. Saw you over here not doing anything, so I figured why not put you to work?”
She laughed lightly, “Well thank you. That was most kind.”
“I do my best,” he replied. He watched as she bent down to put back the watch. He cleared his throat once more, “So how long have you been working here?”
She closed the case and stood back up, “Uh, about 3 months now? I think.”
“Nice,” he commented, leaning against the cases comfortably. She drummed her fingertips against the glass. She was clearly amused, “What do you do for a living?”
“You mean, you don’t know?” he asked with a look of surprise. She scrunched up her nose, “Actually I do. I figured I should just humor you a little.”
Nick grinned, “Well, in that case, let’s pretend.”
“Alright,” she laughed.
“I’m a singer,” he announced proudly.
“Oh?” she acted surprised and highly impressed. “What kind of singer?”
“I’m not a solo act or anything. I’m in this group. We’re kind of on the pop music side. You may have heard of us,” he dramatically explained. “The Backstreet Boys?”
Julia looked thoughtful for a moment, “I’m not so sure. Would I know one of your songs?”
Nick liked that she was going along with his banter. It showed him that she had a playful side, and the fact that she really was unfazed by his career status impressed him as well. Most girls acted star struck, and though she was a little bit shy, she pulled off treating him like a normal human being very nicely.
“Ever heard of ‘I Want It That Way’?” he asked. Her eyes lit up playfully, “Is that the one where it goes ‘Tell my why, ain’t nothing but a heartache’?”
He nodded, unable to hide a goofy grin as she sang the last part softly. He continued on with the lyrics, singing back, bobbing his head lightly, “Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake, tell me why.”
Her eyes sparkled as she laughed, “Well Nick, I must say I have heard of you.”
“Who would of thunk it?” he joked. She smiled back at him and Nick took a deep breath. He opened his mouth to speak again, feeling brave suddenly. Unfortunately, before Nick could carry on with his plan, AJ bumped into him, wallet in hand, “They have the greatest fucking shoes here.”
Nick silently cursed AJ’s interruption. He looked over at Julia before addressing AJ, “You done?”
“I better be. If I get any more, I’ll probably max this baby out,” he said, waving his credit card in the air with one swift movement. Nick felt his heart sink in his chest at the prospect of him having to leave. Here he was not really wanting to be here in the first place, and now he was disappointed to be leaving so soon.
“You pay already?” he asked. He noticed Julia shuffle uncomfortably, unsure if she should walk away or stay.
“Yeah, they’re packing them up now,” he said, following his gaze to where Nick kept glancing to. An evil grin spread across his lips then, and he turned his attention to Julia, “Hey beautiful, what’s your name?”
Nick rolled his eyes quite noticeably as AJ leaned over the counter slightly.
“Julia,” she announced, lightly taking AJ’s hand. AJ replied huskily, “AJ.”
Nick grabbed the back of AJ’s arm, digging his fingers into sensitive part of his flesh. AJ jerked back, cursing in pain, “Fuck man!”
Julia hadn’t seen what happened and her brow furrowed in puzzlement, “What?”
Nick hastily pushed AJ off to the side, “Oh nothing. He does that sometimes. Kind of a Turrets thing.”
This explanation didn’t help in Julia’s puzzlement. AJ interrupted, “Fuck you Carter,” before turning back to Julia, “I don’t have Turrets.”
“Of course not,” she laughed.
Nick was relieved to see the two associates who were helping AJ come out with two large bags in their hands. He pushed AJ in their direction, desperately wanting to get out of an embarrassing situation that was bound to present itself. Nick smiled at Julia, waving slightly, “It was nice to meet you, Julia.”
“You too, Nick,” she replied.
Nick pushed AJ once more to give him the clue to go over and pay for his things. He followed closely behind, feeling his cheeks heat up. When they got out of hearing shot and AJ was handing over his credit card to the blonde, Nick hissed, “Thanks a fucking lot for that.”
“For what?” AJ asked innocently. AJ then lightly shoved Nick, “That’s for pushing me around. I’m not a damn rag doll or your bitch.”
“I had to get us away somehow and I sure as hell wasn’t going to go ‘Hey AJ, we should walk away now, since you’re embarrassing the hell out of me.’”
AJ smirked, taking back his credit card from the blonde, “She doesn’t care.”
AJ glanced over Nick’s shoulder to see the brunette off greeting another customer. He asked, “Why don’t you ask her out?”
Nick sputtered at this question, “Ask her out?”
AJ raised an eyebrow, “To dinner, or I don't know, if you're feeling really brave, maybe even a movie? Damn Nick, it's not rocket science. Has it really been that long since you’ve been out on a date?”
“I can’t ask her out,” Nick said, ignoring AJ’s jabs at him.
“Why the hell not? She’s cute,” AJ said nonchalantly. He smiled at the blonde and told her thank you as he took his receipt. Nick grabbed the bags lying on top of the counter and shoved them at AJ, “Because.”
“Because?” AJ pressed, taking the bags into his hands.
“Just because alright?” Nick said exasperatedly. Truth of the matter was, he felt his pride had been stepped on because of AJ. He was about to ask what plans she had that night when AJ had so rudely interrupted. He now lost his courage and he knew he wasn’t going to get it back, not right now anyway. You’d think him being the famous blonde cutie Nick Carter would boost his ego enough for him to never be afraid of rejection, and normally he wouldn't be, but something struck him differently with Julia.
“Let’s just go,” Nick grumbled. AJ shrugged, “Alright man,” before mumbling, “Pussy.”
Nick punched his arm as they made their way toward the exit, “Shut up!”
AJ laughed, “I’m just kiddin’, I’m just kiddin’. You need to go anywhere?”
Nick glanced back behind his shoulder, seeing Julia engrossed in helping another customer. It took him a moment to comprehend what AJ said. He tore his eyes away from her, “Nah, not really. I know Bri wanted to play some ball, wanna come?”
"Sure, I got nothin' else to do," AJ said with indifference.
And with that, they left the store and stepped out into the excited throng of the paparazzi. To an outsider, Nick and Julia’s encounter seemed like a harmless meeting, but as fate would have it, this was only the beginning for them, for this was how they met. This was how they eventually fell in love.
This was the beginning of their eventual ruin.
