The meeting had been going on for hours by the time Nick's belly began to growl loudly. It seemed like it'd been decades since he'd eaten breakfast, and he was sure his body had begun to enter starvation mode. Actually, it'd only been like three hours since they'd eaten a really large breakfast at iHop, ordering like almost everything on the menu basically, but he couldn't help it if he was a growing boy and had the appetite of a horse with worms on a breezy day, could he? He listened as his tummy rumbled it's complaints once again.
He sat in the fancy-shmancy lawyer-like office on the 21st floor of the BMG Corperation's building in New York City, listening to a grey suited man from Jive Records speaking numbers and figures about the Boys' latest album being released pretty soon. Projected numbers, Nick decided, were even more boring (and hunger provoking) than numbers that had already happened. Although, in all honesty, he wasn't sure which the man was talking about and when, because they were all just jumbled numbers to him. Who cared? Write it on paper in English in a big felt tipped red marker and he'd read it himself and maybe care then, but right at the moment all he wanted in life was something to stick in his mouth and chew. Glancing around the table, he noticed his bandmates were equally bored with the man's tirade. In fact, the only people seeming to be following a thing the guy said was Kevin (he always was a kiss-up) and Johnny (that was his job). Howie was doodling on the canary yellow legal pad that sat in front of him, pretending to take notes, but really just drawing little faces over all the numbers the man said. AJ seemed ready to begin drooling he was so bored, and Brian was studying the pattern on the wallpaper intently.
Nick sighed. The office was intense. The wallpaper was dark, dark, dark wine red, with even darker swirlies like some sort of weird gothic crest. It was the sort of paper that if you stared at it long enough it would begin to move about on the walls, crawling along, making you get all creeped out. The table was a way-too-shiny-to-be-naturally-that-way mahogany monstrosity that Nick could picture King Arthur having banquets at. The feet even curled into the shapes of lions heads at the bottom. The chairs matched, their cushions upholstered in the same print as the wallpaper.
Then Nick spotted it. In the center of the table was a bowl of plastic fruit. Anger rose in his gut. Plastic fruit?! PLASTIC FRUIT!?! Who on the earth wanted PLASTIC FRUIT to sit on their fancy-ass table? Certainly nobody of their right mights. Certainly this was a ploy - a plot - a plan to make him go absolutely insane (and to think he didn't have far to go!). Mr. Evil Jive Suit Man must've planned it like this. Surely the guy knew -- HAD to know -- that Nick was simply starving, and therefore would want food, and what better way to torture a boy than to display what LOOKS like food in the center of the table for him to stare at during the hours and hours that they spoke about numbers? Forget racks and chains, all they needed to torture him was a bowl of plastic fruit! Nick all but glared at Mr. EvilJiveSuitMan with hatred upon the revelation of the fruit. Damn the scheming bastard, Nick thought bitterly in his direction as his stomach growled again loudly.
A tap at his side refocused his attention. Nick turned to look at Brian on his left. Brian's lips were pursed up into the SHH face, and he gave a slight nod to signal Nick to look down. When Nick looked down, he thought he might crap with excitement. In Brian's hand was a caramel bulls eye. Nick grinned, vowing to thank Brian profusively after the meeting was over, and snatched the candy from Brian's palm. Brian turned back to studying the wallpaper.
Now came the tricky part.
Nick pinched the ends of the crinkly wrapper and pulled slowly outwards, the candy spinning and unraveling from it's packaging. It seemed unbelievably loud, and he stopped every time it made an especially loud popping sound to examine everyone's faces and make sure none of them had noticed the sound, but every time he did, even Brian seemed oblivious to it. It was tedious work, but finally he got the wrapper completely off the candy, and discreetly dropped it to the floor, holding only the caramel now. He kicked the wrapper under the table. Some unsuspecting maid would find it and wonder who was the inconsiderate asshole who threw it under there. He'd blame Mr. EvilJiveSuitMan, of course, he decided vengefully.
Slowly... carefully... Nick began to stretch his shoulders, the candy concealed in his palm. He rolled his arms out behind him, and stretched them out to their full length. Brian glanced at him, his hypnosis with the wall having been broken by nearly being smacked in the back of the head by Nick's hand as he stretched, and watched with a smirk on his face. AJ's attention diverted, too, and he raised an eyebrow. It was as though moving were a federal offense. Nick faked a yawn, opening his mouth wide, and curling his arm inward, covering his face, and depositing the caramel inside. Mission accomplished.
Brian bit his lips to keep from laughing and looked down at the table's edge, running his finger along the intricately carved woodwork. AJ leaned back and closed his eyes.
The caramel felt warm and heavy as it rested on Nick's tongue. He could taste it as the powdery center began to melt. Now, he wanted to chew it.
Stealing a stealth glance about the table to determine that Kevin, Johnny, and Mr. EvilJiveSuitMan weren't looking, he flexed his jaw. The caramel slid between his teeth, and he bit down, squishing it delectably. The flavor filled his mouth, and he was sure he was now in heaven. He began chewing more and more confidently as the Axis of Numbers continued to chatter away at the end of the table, unnoticing of Nick's chomping.
He'd just managed to get the caramel to that point of gooey tastiness, all stuck up in his teeth and impossible to spit out, when it happened. The Axis of Numbers turned to the other guys, their eyes focusing right on Nick, it seemed, and asked a question.
"What do ya'll think?" Kevin asked.
Brian blinked and looked up from the woodwork, a clueless, puzzled look on his face. Howie smiled stupidly at the end of the table, and AJ's eyes remained close. Nick felt sick, and tried to swallow as much of the caramel as he could as quickly as he could.
Kevin raised a wooly eyebrow. "Well? Nick?"
Nick glanced at Brian. Brian bit his lips. Nick took a deep breath, "I think --" caramel juice sprayed out of his mouth, and he swallowed saliva wrong, and choked. Hacking, he looked at Kevin, whose eyes were steely and squinty. Nick swallowed hard, then squeaked, "It's the shit."
Kevin groaned. "Excuse him," he told Mr. EvilJiveSuitMan, "He's acting immature." He said the words pointedly, and glared at Nick at the same time. Nick glanced down at his hands. Brian kicked him under the table. Kevin turned to his next victim. "Brian?"
"I think it's really interesting, and I trust you a hundred precent to handle all our accounts," Brian said robotically, obviously it was a statement he'd been practicing mentally all morning, and had spent some of the time staring at the wall orchrastrating it in his mind. He bared a shit-eating grin at Kevin, and then looked back at the grainwork on the table.
Kevin seemed satisfied, and moved on. "Howie?"
"Yes." Howie's voice was firm, decided, and eager. "I think yes."
"Yes?" Kevin looked confused, he paused, trying to figure out what that could possibly mean.
Howie smiled. "Yes." He looked back down at the legal pad and rested his pen down. "I definitely think yes."
Johnny and Mr. EvilJiveSuitMan both lookedas confused as Kevin did, but finally Kevin accepted that answer, even though he had no clue what it meant, and moved on. "AJ? .... AJ?" Kev poked AJ in the gut, and AJ sputtered.
"What? Huh?" AJ leaned forward, and rested his hands on the table, regaining sense of where he was, and spoke smoothly, "Yes?"
Kevin raised his bushy eyebrows at AJ. "What do you THINK, AJ?"
AJ smiled slowly, looking around the table for some clues of what to say. Finally, "I think there's some plus sides, and some negative ones. Over all, I must say I agree with everyone else's answers." Kevin sighed, and turned back to Mr. EvilJiveSuitMan. AJ looked at Nick, Brian and Howie with panic written on his face. Howie shrugged in response.
"Thank you for your time today, sir," Kevin said shaking Mr. EvilJiveSuitMan's hand, "We ALL appreciated your help." He glared at Nick and AJ meaningfully. AJ rolled his eyes in Nick's direction the moment Kevin's back was turned.
"It wasn't a problem," Mr. EvilJiveSuitMan replied, smiling. "I wish you all good luck, and hopefully the numbers will return the same as I'm saying." Lifting his suitcase, they all watched at he exited the room, leaving them alone.
The moment the door closed behind him, Kevin turned to look at the Boys sitting at the table. "I hope you two are happy with yourselves."
AJ shrugged, "I'm good."
Nick's jaw dropped, "Dude, you sooo cannot be singling us out on this. We were sooo not the only ones not paying attention. Mr. 'YES' down here, it wasn't even a yes or no question."
"And how do YOU know?" Howie snapped defensively, "It might've been. You weren't even paying attention to the question."
"What WAS the question then?" Nick retorted, sounding very black-diva-from-Queens with his emphasis. He even did the head bob.
Brian rolled his eyes, "Oh please. None of us except Kevin was paying attention. We NEVER pay attention, Kevin. We don't understand this crap like you do. You're the only one that gets it. So don't complain. At least someone in the band understand what's being said, and we all trust you, so it's not a big deal."
"Not a big deal? It's your WORK, you guys, your WORK," Kevin's voice was adament. "Maybe ya'll should start caring a little bit more about what was being said. It does effect you, your jobs, your futures, your paychecks ---"
Johnny held up his hand to stop Kevin midsentence. "Ok, ok. Relax there, Kev. The Boys here will make more of an effort next time to listen, but for now we'll let it go. We've got a photoshoot to get to, and the way Nick's stomach has been growling he's going to want to stop to eat first."
"You could HEAR that?" Nick asked, incredulous.
"Dude, CHINA could hear it!" AJ cried.
Johnny nodded. "Great theatrics with the candy, by the way. Next time make the yawn more realistic. Or rather, just know that nobody's going to saw your head off if you're caught eating a caramel during a business meeting."
Nick felt profusively stupid at this point.
"Ok, let's go," Johnny decided, "I'll meet ya'll at Central in an hour." After Johnny left, a momentary silence filled the room, during which all 5 of the Boy stared at each other uncertainly.
Kevin shrugged. "With only an hour to get it in, I'm thinking something quick."
"How about a slice?" Brian suggested, "Or we could grab a few pies and head to central with them, eat it on site..." he smirked, "Then we won't be late, like SOME of us were for this meeting..."
Howie's head snapped to attention, "Why are ya'll always pickin' on me for?" he whined, "I was only late because I couldn't hail a cab, OK?"
"It's OK, D," AJ injected, "It's not your fault you're so tiny they think you're an oversized pigeon..."
"Why I oughtta..." Howie stuck out his jaw to look tough and elevated his head. "I'll keel you." Nick laughed quietly.
Kevin held up his hand to stop the friendly bickering (and Nick's snickering), "C'mon you chuckleheads, knock it off. We've only got an hour - do you really want to spend it arguing about stupid shit?" The other guys shrugged in unison.
"Howie started it," Nick mumbled childishly.
"I did not!" Howie cried.
Kevin silenced them once again before they could get any further in the argument. The Evil Brow was beginning to rear it's ugly head. "Let's figure out who's getting the pies, an dthe rest of us will go to central." He paused. "Volunteers?"
Silence.
"OK then. Let's do this the adult way..." He took a deep breath. "Eenie - meenie, miney - mo..."
Saving the Day for Blondes (AKA How Nick Carter Became Involved in a Terrorist Mob, Quite By Accident Really!, And Thereby Managed To Save The World For The First Time Ever, Much To Kevin's Surprise.) by Pengi
