Kevin and Brian were in a cab and on their way back to the hotel after seeing their wives off at the airport when Nick called to tell them about Officer Bryant. Brian's phone vibed against his leg, and he jumped, "Oh! It's vibin' on my hinney again!"
"You really gotta set that thing on a ringtone," Kevin commented as Brian fished it out of his pocket. "It always makes you jump. People are going to start thinking you've got some kind of weird tick or something."
Brian stuck his tongue out at Kevin, then flipped the phone open. "Yellow, this is Brian!"
"Brian?? It's Nick," Nick said, as though Brian wouldn't recognize his voice. "Guess what happened to me just now?"
Brian covered the mouth piece, "It's Nick." Kevin nodded. "I dunno, what?"
"Me and AJ and Howie started to go to do the promo work," Nick started.
"Oh yeah? That's good," Brian replied.
"Yeah except we didn't get far."
"No?"
"No. I got kidnapped."
"What?" Brian sat up straighter, "When? By who? That's bad!"
"No, no," Nick said, trying to calm him down a bit, "No it's OK. Because it wasn't the bad guys that got me, it was a cop... Officer Bryant."
"Oh. That's good," Brian leaned back, nerves soothed for a moment.
Nick paused, "Well. Yeah, it's good I guess. Except they said that they've been following me since Saturday and know I'm involved with the mob."
"That's bad."
"No it's good, because they know it's involuntary because I was mistaken for their undercover agent," Nick explained.
"Oh. Well, that's good then," Brian answered. Kevin gave Brian a funny look, and Brian shrugged.
"Well, kinda," Nick replied, "Except that now they don't got an undercover agent in there... and the mob's planning to bomb the embassy building."
Brian's voice was grave. "Oh noooo.. that's BAD."
"No, it's OK though," Nick said, his voice gaining enthusiasm, "Because they found a new undercover agent they've already got in place..."
"Oh thats good!" Brian sounded relieved.
"Guess who it is?" Nick asked.
"Who?"
"Me!!!! I'ma saaaaave the day!"
Brian paused, then responded with an empathetic, "That's REALLY, REALLY bad!!!!!!!!!!"
Kevin grabbed the phone from his cousin, unable to wait any longer to find out what was so good...or bad... or good.. or.. what the hell ever it was now. "What the hell is going on, Carter?"
"I'ma be an undercover agent!!!!" Nick said, summarizing the whole story in one sentence to save time. Kevin stayed silent. "Kevin?"
He took a deep breath. "Ok. Now you've had your fun. What's really going on?"
Nick spoke slowly, emphasizing each word. "I.... am... going... to be... an under...cover...agent."
Kevin sighed, "You're serious. We're all gonna die."
"No, no, Officer Bryant and his people are gonna all up and train me - tonight. They're gonna give me a crash course on -- yanno, like.. policing and stuff..."
"Policing?" Kevin smirked, pleased Nick couldn't see him because it'd certainly spark some anger on his confused, blonde bandmate's part.
"Yeah. Policing." Nick paused, "Aw shit that ain't the right word."
"Not exactly," Kevin answered, "But I catch your meaning."
Nick continued, "And then I'm gonna single handedly bring down the whole operation."
"Single handedly?"
"Well..." Nick hesitated a bit. "OK, so not single handedly. But single handedly with a lil bit of help from a really big police squad, a SWAT team, and a bullet proof vest."
Kevin nodded, "Got'cha."
Nick sounded excited, "Dude I'm gonna save the day! Isn't that whacked?"
"It sure is, Nick... More than you know." Kevin paused. "Hey what about the release stuff tomorrow? We've got GMA, and Virgin, and the MTV release party..."
"I'll be there," Nick answered, "Don't worry. The album's important, too. Just - yanno, I gotta save the world while I'm at it is all."
Kevin took a deep breath. "Well, we'll be back to the hotel in ten minutes."
"OK," Nick answered, "I'm just chillin' with Gopher. AJ and D went to do the promo like they said. I stayed cos I gotta get sleep if I'm gonna train all night then work all day tomorrow. Even we super heroes need our beauty rest."
"Right," Kevin rolled his eyes, "OK, then, Super Hero. I'm hanging up now. See ya when we get there."
"Bye, Kev." Nick laughed, "Hey, think Stan Lee will make a comic about me?"
"Not likely," Kevin replied. "Besides - he already did that."
"Oh yeah... That was fun, huh?"
Kevin's voice was stern, "Goodbye, Nick."
"Oh yeah. Bye, Kev." Nick hung up.
Brian raised his eyebrows at Kevin. "What do you think? Should we run now or stick around to watch the blood bath?"
Kevin laughed. "I think we're all in very real trouble. Obviously this Officer Bryant guy didn't look too far into who Nick was -- cos he is definitely NOT the man they want undercover."
"What should we do?" Brian asked.
Kevin handed Brian's phone back to him and rubbed his chin. "I don't know... I've got to think up a plan though, and fast. Otherwise we're going to get our asses kicked by all this."
Gopher's voice echoed in the hotel room. "Take that! DIE!!! Die!!!!!!"
"Oh! Oh!! God! You got me!!" Nick wailed. He kicked the floor, watching the blood splatter everywhere. "Come offen it, you keep winning." He threw the game paddle across the floor. "I NEVER lose at Ninja Warrior 5." Nick pouted.
Gopher laughed, "To think this is the first time I've ever played..."
Nick's eyes widened. "You gotta be shittin' me! I'm losin' to a beginner?" He leaped for the paddle. "Best out of 50?"
"You're on."
Brian, Howie, AJ and Kevin sat in the living room of the Richardson's hotel room, watching as Nick and Gopher battled on the PlayStation 2. Nick's face was corkscrewed tight, his tongue sticking out of his mouth, leaning this way and that way, as though moving his body might move his character on the screen. Brian rolled his eyes. "When are they getting here to take him?" he asked, looking at Kevin, "They've been at that all day. I'm getting sick of it."
Kevin sighed. "Hey, chuckleheads," he nudged Nick's back with the tip of his foot. Nick waved him off absently, focusing only on the screen.
"Not now... just.. one.. more..." Nick barely spoke, his mind on the game. Kevin repeated the offending foot tap, only harder and more insistant this time, and Nick squealed mournfully as his gaming character fell to the floor, defeated. "Hey!!! Not fair! Kevin was kicking me!"
Gopher laughed, "I won fair and square!"
Nick pouted and turned on Kevin. "What the hell was that for?"
Kevin smiled, "Relax. I was just wondering... When is Mr. Bryant supposed to come to collect you?"
Nick frowned. "Officer Bryant? He's coming tonight at..." Kevin gave Nick The Look, but Nick's voice was drowned out by Gopher interrupting anyway.
Gopher looked concerned, "Officer Bryant?"
"He's this really nice agent on the --" Nick started to explain but Kevin kicked him again to shut him up.
"He's a friend," Kevin ammended.
Nick gave Kevin a funny look, then shrugged and said, "He's a really nice guy."
Gopher looked over the five Boys suspiciously. "Agent? On the task force?" He laughed quietly, "You can tell me this stuff you know. I mean, I AM your friend, right?"
Kevin raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, you are."
A few moments later, Kevin pulled Nick into the hallway by his elbow. "We'll be right back," he called as they closed the door. He turned on Nick quickly. "Do NOT tell Gopher about this thing with Officer Bryant."
Nick's eyes widened. "Why?"
"Because..." Kevin shook his head, "I don't know, I just have a funny feeling about him after the way he reacted to all that in the room there."
"OK," Nick agreed slowly, "I can do that."
Kevin nodded. "Good."
Officer Bryant had checked and double, even triple and quadruple, checked the address for the hotel where his soon-to-be honorary agent was staying, but he still couldn't believe this was it. Someone famous, he decided, must be in town that he hadn't heard about. The lobby of the hotel was overflowing out onto the street with teenage girls who were screaming every time the elevator doors opened. He rolled his eyes -- the whole herd of them, like stupid sheep, waiting for their idol to emerge from the depths of the hotel. Really.
He pushed his way through them as they squealed and chattered excitedly, half of them with their face painted with writing all over their foreheads. He ignored them, trying to make his way to the desk. When he got there, somewhat maimed by all the excited pushing and shoving throughout the crowd, he leaned against the desk, winded, and relieved to have made it all that way.
The clerk smiled a stressed-out, plastered-on beam. "Good evening sir, how can I help you?" She winced as something on the other side of the lobby crashed to the floor - what could not be seen through the density of the girls gathered in the room.
"I'm looking for a particular guest's room - he asked me to meet him here where he was staying for a business meeting, and obviously as you can see we're going to have trouble connecting here in the lobby." Agent Bryant nodded back to the girls.
The clerk smiled tighter. "Of course. However, I'm not really privvy to give such information out..."
"If you call him, he'll come down then, how's that?" he asked.
She sighed. "Name?"
"Nick Carter," the officer stated.
The girl looked up with a smile. "Sir, I'm sorry. You're a creative man, and I must say an odd candidate for a Backstreet Boys fan, but nonetheless, you're going to have to go join the others and wait." She pointed at the girls behind him.
Agent Bryant shook his head, "No I'm not looking for the Backstreet Boys, miss. I need Nick Carter."
"Right, and so do all of them," she motioned with a pen and started to turn away.
Suddenly some stuff clicked into place for Officer Bryant and he wondered how he'd ever been so blind so as to not notice that he was dealing with an internationally recognized popstar. He shook his head at his own stupidity. "Miss," he called her back before she'd walked away. She stared blandly at him as he fished through his pockets for his badge. "I need Mr. Carter." He tossed the badge onto te desk for her to see.
She looked at it, then raised her eyebrows at him. "Look... I could have you arrested for impersonatinan officer," she said smoothly, handing the badge back to him, "But you're in luck. I'm in no mood to create MORE hassle than is already going on here tonight. If you go, I won't call the cops. OK?" she forced another grim smile. "Go."
"Ma'm..."
"I said go," she said, reaching for the phone, "Or I'll call them. The Boys security guards have not informed me of any of this -and I'm thereby not authorized to even call them right now."
Officer Bryant shook his head, "They wouldn't know becauyse it's Top Secret ---"
She laughed, "Oh you ARE a kook. Please back away."
He sighed and backed away, planning to go to the sidewalk to call Nick himself. He started to bumble along through the thrashing crowd, but found it nearly impossible to get through. Suddenly he heard a shrill chorus of screams, as the elevator doors across the lobby opened slowly. A rush in the crowd caused him to lose his balance and he fell against a young girl. "Hey watch it mister," she cried, her Brooklyn accent thick.
"Sorry," he apologized, righting her. He eyed her a moment. She was dressed in jeans and a Backstreet Boys tour shirt with the sleeves rolled up at her shoulders. She was carrying a bag with a tiny chihuahua puppy peeking out. "Are these functions always like this?" he asked.
She nodded, "Oh yeah. Backstreet fans are intense." She popped a wad of gum that'd been stuck in her cheek a moment before, and eyed him. "You a dad here?" she questioned.
He shook his head, "I'm here for Nick Carter."
She laughed, "You're old AND a gay fan, that's great."
"No- no, I'm --" he paused, and thought better of it and shut his mouth. She continued giggling. "They won't let me in, though," he explained.
The girl stuck out her hand, "I'm Stacey," she introduced herself, "And you know, I think we just may be able to help each other out here."
"How so?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Stacey smiled. "I've been looking for someone to help me out with a plan I've got.... If you can get me in, I can get you to Nick's room... or at least to his floor."
Agent Bryant glanced at his watch -- he was already ten minutes later than he'd planned. He glanced at the girl. "You've got a deal."
"What on earth could be keeping your friend?" Kevin asked upstairs.
Nick shrugged, "Maybe he got lost."
"Or maybe he was full of crap," AJ intoned. Nick's eyebrow shot up. "I meant Bryant, not you."
"OK, good."
Officer Bryant approached the desk again. "You know what," he said, greeting the same clerk, who looked anything but amused. "I can't get back out, I'd like a room."
The girl yawned, "Rooms aren't cheap here, sir. There's a Comfort Inn in Times Square, I can call a taxi cab for you if you'd ---"
"No, no," he said, shaking his head, "Here. I've got cash."
She raised her eyebrow. "Two fifty a night."
Bryant reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Are twenties OK?"
Fifteen minutes later, Bryant and Stacey were crouched on the floor in a room, a toilet paper diagram of the hotel's layout lay before them, carefully constructed by Stacey. She pointed with a pencil with the Boys faces printed on it as she spoke. "So here's the deal. I'll go up in this elevator to the fifth floor. You'll take these stairs. I'll distract the guards at the elevator - and you meanwhile sneak through the door to the stairs, very quietly, go to room 517 and get Nick to come get me before security beats the crap out of me." She looked up at Officer Bryant, "OK?"
He nodded. "Stairwell, room 517, Nick, you. Got it."
"Good." Stacey smiled. "Hey you're pretty cool for an old guy."
Agent Bryant laughed. "Thanks, Stacey. Now let's get this show on the road."
When the elevator doors opened on the fifth floor, all five of the Boys security guards rushed to it to make sure no intruding fans were emerging. They, of course, found Stacey and her little dog, too (cue evil laughter). "Miss, this floor's off limits," announced one guy, stepping forward as though he were the leader of the pack.
Stacey's mouth dropped open, "Oh.. oh.. I'm so sorry," she faked, peeking between them at the stairwell door. Officer Bryant was peering through the skinny rectangular window. She touched her hair, which was their signal, "Really I am..." The security guys watched her closely even as she began to back into the elevator, "I really am." She discreetly unbuckled the velcrove holding her dog into his bag. As soon as the velcrove was undone, the puppy promptly leaped from the bag, dashing into the hallway, through the legs of the security guys, and pandamonium struck. "BRODY!" she screamed as the dog rushed down the hallway - thankfully NOT the direction Agent Bryant was tiptoing down, "Oh my DOG!"
All five burly guys rushed for the dog, all at once, tumbling about over each other like a group of uncoordinated football players. She covered her mouth to stop from laughing. "Brody!" they called, each trying to get the dog. She watched, then stole a glance as Officer Bryant banged on room 517. Nothing. He looked at her with a questioning glance, she appeared puzzled. She motioned for him to try the next room. He knocked, nothing still.
"Here dog! DOG!" Suddenly Brody rushed past Stacey, and down the hall towards Officer Bryant. The security guards turned around, spotted the offender, and rushed down the hall, the dog and it's owner old news. "Hey! Stop right there!" they cried.
Bryant banged urgently on the next three doors as quickly as possible before security got to him. The third time he heard a faint voice yell from within, "Coming!"
"Hurry up," he grumbled.
Security reached the door before whoever was inside did, and grabbed Officer Bryant quickly, pulling him away from the door. Suddenly Brody raced back between the guards legs, tripping the head security guard, and leaped back into Stacey's arms. Kevin and Nick stepped into the hallway as their head security guard landed on the floor of the hallway with a bang, pulling the federal agent down with him. Nick braced himself, half expecting an earthquake to ensue.
A weird silence fell over the hall as the two men laid on the floor and the dog sat trembling from the excitement of the past few minutes in his owner's arms. Stacey's eyes were wide because the Backstreet Boys (the ACTUAL Backstreet Boys!) were in the hallway, mere feet away from her, and Nick stared down at the officer. Kevin cleared his throat as the other security team members trotted up the hallway, looking a bit sheepish.
"Good evening," Agent Bryant stuck his hand up in the air, and Nick promptly bent over to shake it. "How are you tonight, Nick?"
"I'm aiight, you dawg?" Nick answered like the entire scene was natural. Kevin blinked at him, and shook his head. Nick motioned to Stacey. "Who's that?"
Officer Bryant looked, "That's my partner in crime," he answered, "And her little dog, too. Stacey," he added, "She helped me get in."
Nick smiled warmly, "Hey Stacey!" She waved weakly, and opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Nick toddled down the hall to give her a hug, while Kevin helped Bryant and the security guard off the floor. Nick reached Stacey's side and looked at the chihuahua. "You got a rat dog."
"His name's Brody," she said, her voice in a daze, staring at him, "After your part in Hollow..." her eyes were wide with petrified fear.
Nick laughed, "That's cool." He leaned in and hugged her. "Thanks for comin' out..." He paused a second. "Wait.. wait right here." Jogging away, Stacey watched him retreat, and a moment later he returned holding up a CD. "Here you go," he handed it to her, "Advanced copy of the album -- thanks for helping Bryant up here."
Stacey squealed and hugged the disc to her chest, "Oh my Gooooodddd!"
Well, Nick thought, even if I don't save the world, at least I made one person happy today.
Saving the Day for Blondes (AKA How Nick Carter Became Involved in a Terrorist Mob, Quite By Accident Really!, And Thereby Managed To Save The World For The First Time Ever, Much To Kevin's Surprise.) by Pengi
