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Jesse’s POV


“I cannot believe you talked me into this.” I groaned buttoning up the black shirt I decided to where today. Aaron grinned a bit, keeping his eyes on the magazine he was reading.

“Oh really? I didn’t think it was that hard.” Aaron chuckled. I glared at him threw the mirror and then continued fixing my hair. Aaron put his magazine aside and walked up behind me, starring me down through the mirror.

“What? Too much gel in my hair?”

Aaron shook his head, “Nah. But why black, Jess?” Aaron asked, raising an eyebrow at my attire, “Just asking by the way.”

I shrugged, “Well, you never know I may be going to a funeral and black looks better on me anyway.”

“You’re not going out to impress anybody you know.” Aaron said calmly. I washed my hands ignoring his comment at first. I tucked in my shirt and headed to the door. Resting my hand on the door knob I turned back toward Aaron and shrugged.

“You know I like looking good when I go out. I like to make people think that I’m a conservative guy and I care about my appearance. I don’t want dirty looks by people who think I dress like a hobo or a homeless person or someone who just doesn’t care about what they look like. Like their pants half way off their ass.”

Aaron threw his head back and laughed, “I know, man. It’s just that you take longer to get ready than all my sisters put together.”

Note to self, kick his ass later.

I pressed my lips together keeping my smart ass comment to myself, “I resent that.” I blurted out. I gave him a sarcastic smile as Aaron walked past me and out of the door. Grabbing my jacket off the bed I quickly followed him.

“So what is this chicks name again?” I asked, getting into the passenger seat. Aaron put the key in the ignition and started up the car. He put on his seatbelt, then looked at me.

“Cindy Garrett.”

I nodded, “She hot?”

Aaron narrowed his eyes and went to say something, but hesitated, “Well, yeah she’s….she’s pretty.”

“She single?”

“She’s married.” He said without hesitating. What the heck? Everyone is married these days! I snapped my fingers in defeat. It’s not like I wanted her number or anything. I was just thinking beyond my satisfaction. I tapped my fingers on the side of the door, looking at Aaron at the corner of my eye. Aaron was just sitting back in his seat looking at me. I looked around, before turning and looking at him.

“Are we going to go anytime soon?”

Aaron didn’t smile. Geez, what’s with him? “Aren’t you forgetting something?” As he said that I quickly patted all my pockets, and then dug my hand in my pants pocket.

“I don’t think so, dude.” I told him. Aaron still didn’t budge, “Dude, what the hell??”

Aaron finally smiled. Jackass. “Jess….click it, unless you want me to get a ticket.”

I looked at the seatbelt, then reached back to grab it. I grinned as I buckled myself in, “Happy brotha?” I laughed and rolled my eyes. I love it when he gets testy.

“Very.” He answered. Aaron put the car in reverse and pulled out of the drive way. He shifted gears and we were on our way.

“So how old is she?”

“Jesse, give it up.”

“I’m just asking…..”

*******

Aaron groaned from beside me, as we pulled up behind a Porsche. I poked my head out of the window and groaned out loud myself. I pulled myself back in and adjusted my seat belt.

“Great. Just great. Stuck in traffic. Sucks.” I said, rolling my eyes. I heard Aaron snort just then. I looked at him, my eye brows raised, “What are you snorting about?”

Aaron busted out laughing. He shook his head and then calmed himself, “When you said ‘stuck in traffic’, I automatically thought of Nick and AJ….” He said, laughing again. I blinked and then laughed along with him.

“Oh yeah, when they were stuck in traffic that one day and they were singing!” I laughed, recalling the video I once saw. I cleared my throat.

“We’re in hell…..” I sang in a low tone.

“….because, we’re stuck in traffic.” Aaron sang, joining in on the fun. We laughed, smiling upon that memory.

Aaron shook his head, “That was the best video ever.” He said. Aaron took a deep breath, his hand resting on his horn, “Come ooooooon!” He yelled out loud.

I looked at him, “Road rage much?” I joked. I don’t think he got the joke because when he looked at me, his eyes flared.

“You want to see road rage? I’ll show you road rage!” He yelled, unsnapping his seat belt. I moved away from the window and quickly grabbed his arm.

“Dude, don’t!” I said, my eyes wide. Aaron just stared back at me. Then I scowled when he started to laugh, “That was not funny. I thought you were serious.” I said, letting go of his arm and turning back in my seat.

“I’m just a good actor….” He said. I let out a sarcastic laugh and looked at him.

“Oh yeah?”

“Well….yeah! You know I auditioned for Summerland, you know.”

I laughed, “Uh….right….”

“Okay, fine. I was going to.”

I threw my head back and laughed, “Even if you did…what then?”

Aaron bit his lip, “You still would have beat me.”

“Even if I didn’t try out, somebody still would have beat you.”

Aaron shot me a look, “Are you making fun of my acting abilities?”

I took a breath and held it for a split second before letting it go, “No of course not.” I rushed, “You just need hel--I mean you need to pick better….um…roles.” I squeezed my eyes shut, holding my tongue. I jumped when Aaron clamped his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him.

“How did this conversation turn into how bad my acting is?”

I smiled, “Begin quote….”I’m just a good actor’’ end quote.” I said, flashing smile.

“Fuuuuuuck yoooouuu. Damn! I’m just so loved today!” Aaron replied. I gave a little laugh and looked back at the line of cars. I raised my eyebrows and turned back to Aaron.

“Dude, you just need to find the right roles. You know the more films or taking acting classes or what not…can go a long way. You’ll get better. Practice makes perfect. Or…you can----” I broke off, when Aaron interrupted me.

“Nope don’t you say it, McCartney!”

I blinked, “You don’t even know what I was going to say, dude.”

Aaron cleared his throat, then looked at me, “Are you sure about that? You were about to tell me to stick to what I do best…..singing!” He turned back in his seat for a split second, then suddenly turned back toward me, “I know this….”

“Holy shit your good!” I said, my eyes wide. Okay, something is seriously going on with this boy. How the hell did he know I was going to say that?? “ How did you know I was going to say that?” I continued. Wow, my thought actually came out of my mouth.

“I’ve known you my whole life, Jesse. “ He said. Aaron leaned toward me, “I can read your mind.” He whispered. I let out a small chuckle. Then, several loud honks filled the air, making both Aaron and I jump. We looked behind us, eyeing the traffic. I smiled and turned to my buddy.

“Dude, can I drive?” I asked.

“No.” Aaron quickly said.

“Then would you….”

“What---oh.” Aaron said, finally turning his attention back to the road. The traffic in front of us, started moving a hell of a long time ago!

“Dammit, why didn’t you tell me when traffic started moving again?”

“Because I’m a stinka.” I said in my famous bugs bunny voice. Aaron put the car in gear and pressed the gas. I glanced at Aaron, then started laughing. When I woke up this morning, I automatically assumed this was going to be a shitty day, just like the rest of my life. But….it isn’t. I don’t think I ever laughed this much before. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if me and Aaron Carter weren’t even friends. Would I find a friend like him in someone else? I don’t even want to answer that question, because right now I’m just blessed he is my friend now.

“What’s so funny?” Aaron growled, when I started laughing again. I calmed down at that point, but kept a smile on my face.

“Click it or ticket?”

Aaron quickly looked around, then rolled his eyes in annoyance, “Fuck.” He gritted through his teeth. He reached behind him and put his seat belt back on. I shook my head. The things we get into, then the things we forget. Oh good lord!

“I was wondering if you were going to notice.” I joked.

“Pardon my French; you’re an asshole! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Because I was to entertained while listening to you bitch?” I said, with a smirk. Aaron glared at me, and remained silent, “But I love ya brotha!” Aaron rolled his eyes and got the car up to its normal speed. Aaron looked at his watch, then groaned.

“Dammit. Our appointment is in five minutes and we’re still ten minutes away.” Aaron said, “And that is not my fault. Your fault!. All your fault you hear!”

“Okay!” I said with a grin, “will Cindy be mad if we’re late?”

“Oh yeah, yeah. She’s one of those chicks that don’t tolerate tardiness. She’s impatient, testy, and she’s a redhead so she gets angry very easily so watch it. Oh and always look up ’here’.” He said, pointing at his eyes, I smiled, knowing where he was going with this one. “Anywhere else is a no-no. No looking at her legs, or her fanny, or her-----”

“Tatas?”

“….her tat---Jesse this is serious.” He laughed. I threw my head back and laughed.

“She’ll like it if it comes from me.” I said, winking. Yeah….right.

“Yeah, if you want your smile knocked completely off your face, go right ahead.”

I shot him a look, “I was joking.”

Aaron laughed, “Okay. Anyway, that happened to Nick before so I’m just giving you a fair warning.”

“She slapped Nick?!”

Aaron threw his head back and laughed, “Yeah! After the session was over he went up to her and playfully smacked her butt and told her how hot she was in a business suit! No joke!”

My mouth opened in shock, “Are you kidding me?” Aaron shook his head, laughing. “That’s crazy.” I shrugged, “But it also reminds me of something that you would do too.” I continued.

“Well, I’ve learned not to. Sure Cindy’s an attractive woman….very very attractive. But this happened when I was like twelve so….”

I tilted my head to the side, “One very would have been enough, dude.”

“One word in front of Rose, I’ll kill ya.” He shot at me. I raised my hands in defense, but didn’t say anything.

“You’ve been seeing Cindy for that long?”

Aaron nodded, “Yeah, I have. After that day, Nick never went back. So he left her for me…..that didn’t sound right.” Aaron chuckled.

“I hear what your saying. How long has she been married?”

“Uh…I think fifteen years.”

“Wow.” I nodding, “How old is she?”

“Thirty-six and she’s a cougar.” Aaron said, flashing a smile. I laughed and slumped down in my seat.

“Are we there yet?” I asked. I pulled my head up off the back of the seat when I felt the car come to a stop. I looked out of the window and eyed a fairly tall building out in front.

“Yeah. Now come on.” Aaron told me, taking the keys out of the ignition.

“Nah uh.” I said, but too late for Aaron to hear. The boy was already out of the car. I took a deep breath, pushed the door open, and got out. Aaron walked over and stood in front of me.

“Relax, Jess.” I flinched when he said that. I haven’t realized that I was lost in my thoughts, so he kind of scared me a bit.

“Are you sure you don’t need to talk to her about anything?” I asked him, my voice low.

Aaron shrugged, “Probably. But today isn’t about me. It’s about you. I made this day for you, not me. Now lets go. We’re already 5 minutes late.” Aaron grabbed me by the arm and led me into the building. I pulled my arm away and walked behind him. I started to feel my stomach turn. I did not want to be here……

We stepped onto an elevator and I watched Aaron push the number ‘17’ button. I slid over to the other side of the elevator, while Aaron stood at the other end. I took a couple of deep breaths.

“I don’t want to do this.” I said, flatly. I slid my hands into my pockets and leaned my head against the wall.

“Don’t be a baby about this, Jesse.” Aaron said.

I rolled my eyes, “Dude, I’m not being a baby. I just don’t see the reason why I have to do this. Talking to a complete stranger about my problems is not going to solve anything.”

“You know what I don’t want. I didn’t want to come home and find my best friend trying to kill himself last night! That’s what I don’t want. Time is everything. You have something to say, say it through her. I’m trying to bust my ass to make sure that you’ll be okay. You can cry or even scream about not wanting to be here, but you know what it’s not going to work. You are going into that office and you are going to sit with her and talk to her. I’ll be in there as well. You need to talk, okay?” I bit my lip, listening to what he was saying. He had a point. I can talk to my family, him or any of the girls, but I know that won’t be enough. I guess sometimes talking to a complete stranger can seal the deal. But now? Can’t I wait a couple more days?

“Dude, can’t we do this later?”

“No. I already made this appointment for you and you’re taking it.” The elevator door dinged and opened. Aaron grabbed my arm and pulled me out. I felt resistant and pulled back. His grip didn’t cease, not even a little.

“What do I have to do to make you do this, Jesse? What do I have to do to be a good friend here? Tell me, because to be honest man, I feel like I’m failing.” My heart skipped a beat when he said that. Geez, he really knows how to make a man feel guilty.

“I’ll take it, Aar. But I don’t think my heart can take anymore heart ache.” I whispered. Aaron finally let go of my arm.

“You’re going to feel it a lot in your lifetime. Trust me, I’ve felt enough. Now come on. This is your day, not mine.” I follow Aaron down the hallway and then into another room.

“Hey Sandra.” Aaron said, greeting the white head woman sitting behind the desk. She looked up and smiled excitedly.

“Aaron, how are you?” She stood up, shaking his hand, then giving him a hug.

“I’m doing great. How are you?”

“I’m doing great. I got married again.”

“Wow! When did that happen?”

“About a month ago.”

Aaron nodded, “Wow, I did not know that. Congratulations!” Aaron gave her another hug.

“Yeah, it’s great. It’s going great. Come to think of it, just last year I said I wasn’t going to get married again.” Sandra laughed, “Well here I am! Married!” She said excitedly, while looking at her ring. She walked back around her desk and sat back down.

“So what can I do for you?”

“Cindy’s expecting me.” Aaron told her, resting his hands on the desk. I just stood in the doorway, my arms crossed in front of my chest.

Sandra nodded. “Okay. I’ll ring her in.” She picked up the phone and ringed Cindy’s office, “Cindy, Aaron is here. Okay…” She put the phone down and wrote something down in her notepad, “She’s coming. So when is your appointment?” She asked. Aaron looked at his watch,

“Oh about…..fifteen minutes ago.”

Sandra blinked, “Oh Okay.” Aaron smiled and walked back over to me. He nudged me in the shoulder and smiled. I looked him in silence.

“What’s wrong?”

I shrugged, “I’m fine, I guess. Ask me again later.” Aaron nodded. He straightened up when he saw Cindy walking down the hall toward him. Aaron nudged me again in the shoulder and nodded toward Cindy. I turned around and looked back behind me.

“Is that her?” I asked.

“Uh huh.” Aaron replied. He poked his head back into the office, “Have a nice day, Sandra.”

“You too, Aaron.” She replied, sweetly.

“You weren’t kidding, Aar. She’s hot.” I said, cracking a smile.

“Drop it.” Aaron said, brushing past me and meeting up with Cindy. I followed suit.

“Cindy, I’m sorry I’m late.” He said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“That is absolutely okay, Aaron. I’m just happy you made it alright. Come on in.” She opened up the door to her office. I followed Aaron in, staying behind him. Aaron glanced at me. His eyes were wide.

I frowned, “Dude…what’s wrong?” I whispered. Aaron turned around and leaned in closer.

“She’s not mad.” He said, “I’m confused. She’s always mad.”

I nodded and scanned the room, “Dude…maybe she had some amazing sex last night.” I said, raising my eye brows. Aaron covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. He sucked in a breath and turned back around.

“Agree?”

“Yes, now hush.”

“What can I do for you today, Aaron?” Cindy asked, with a smile on her face.

“Well Cindy, I’m not here for me today.” Aaron told her.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I’m here on the behalf of my good friend. Cindy, this is Jesse McCartney. Jesse, Cindy Garrett. The best person in the world.” Aaron introduced us. I stepped forward, giving her small smile and gently shaking her….oh so soft hands. STOP IT! I shook the thought that was getting ready to pop in my head.

“Hello, Jesse. It’s really nice to meet you. Have a seat.” Cindy pointed to the seat near the window. I glanced at Aaron. Aaron caught my eye and leaned forward.

“That’s the hot seat. I’ll be over here.” Aaron told me, nodding toward the couch a few feet away. I nodded and slowly sat down in the chair in front of Cindy. I watched as Cindy pulled out her clipboard and place it in her lap. She clamped her hands together and smiled back at me.

“So….what’s on your mind today, Jesse?”

I took a deep breath and situated myself in the seat. I sat back, feeling really nervous.

“Well…to be honest I didn’t really want to come today. I’ve never done this before.”

“There is nothing to scared of. And it’s understandable, Jesse. I get it all the time. No one wants to talk to a shrink because they don’t want others knowing they have a problem. Just talk to me like I’m a friend. I’m here for you, I’m here for everyone. I’m here to listen, Jesse. When ever you‘re ready.” I nodded, rubbing my hands together. That’s when I realized that I was sweating. I whipped my sweaty hands on my jeans and took another breath.

“ Well, a couple of days ago….my girlfriend…Katie… broke up with me.”

“Was it unexpected or were there signs in the relationship that something was wrong?”

“It was unexpected. Completely unexpected. I didn’t understand and I still don’t.”

“What was her reason?”

“Well…she’s an actress. And she’s just now at the height of her career. She’ll be soon leaving to film her new movie and she’ll be gone for six months. And she told me she didn’t want to be away from me for that long. So…..she ended it.”

“Just like that?”

I nodded, taking a deep breath, “Yeah. The longest we’ve been separated was for four months before. It seemed like she didn’t want to even try. Before we were fine.”

“How long were you two together?”

“Four years.”

Cindy looked up from her clip board, “Really?” I nodded, “So besides being a part for long periods of time, how was your guys relationship when you were together? Where both of you weren’t away and working somewhere.”

“It was…..” I trailed off, when I felt a lump forming in my throat. I wanted to get through this session without crying. I’m going to fail. Cindy handed me some tissues. I thanked her and took them, “It was amazing. Everything was perfect. She was perfect. We never talked about our job. We never had any secrets between each other. I always listened to her when she needed someone to talk to. I rushed to her side everything time she needed me.”

“What about her? Did she return the favor?”

I hesitated for a few seconds, “Not as much as I did. I was there everything she needed me.”

“And she wasn’t there for you when you needed her?”

“When I say that I was always by her side whenever she needed me, I was literally there. If she called with a problem, while I was across the country, I would jump on a plane and get to her. When she needed me I was there no matter where I am and no matter what I was doing.” I shook my head and dabbed at my eyes, “I loved her so much. I gave her my heart, I have gave her my soul, but…..it seemed like she wasn’t returning the favor.”

“She never dropped what she was doing and ran to be by your side when you needed her the most?”

“Most of the time, no.” I said, shaking my head, “But I never thought that much about it. I always forgave her about it. I talked to her about my problem over the phone. But it was never the same as if she was with me. And when she gets home….I don’t bother telling her about it, because I feel like we already talked about it. She never asks me about it either.”

“It seems like Katie showed you unconditional love when she was home with you. But when she was away on location, it seemed like she pushed you to the sideline. Is that how you felt?”

“Absolutely. I felt it all the time. Aaron, even knew that.”

“Have you ever confronted her about the issue?”

I shook my head, “No. I was so madly in love with her, that if she ever told me to get down on my knees for her I would.”

“Or maybe you knew…but you were in denial.”

I shrugged, “On the night she broke up with me…..I was planning on….um….” I let my head fall into my hands, as I choked back a sob. Cindy reached forward and put her hand on my knee.

“What were you planning on doing? Jesse, it’s okay.”

I sat back and took a shaking breath, “I was going to propose to her that night. I went over to the house to surprise her. I told her that I had something to tell her or to ask her, and she said she had to tell me too, so I told her to go first. Sometimes I think if I went first, it would have been different, but I wouldn’t know. I can’t turn back time.”

“Did she seem different that night? Like something was bothering her?”

“If there was….I didn’t notice. I feel so stupid….”

“You are not stupid. Love is blind. You loved Katie and you didn’t regret any of your love that you gave her. What you need to do is talk to Katie. Confront her, demand a better explanation on why she broke it off. Ask her if she was not happy during the relationship. Find out why it didn’t work out. Have you tried calling her or reaching out to her since the breakup?”

“I tried calling her yesterday morning. But all I got was her voice mail.”

“So she’s not answering her phone?”

“No.”

“Don’t give up on that. Keep on trying. Jesse, I want you to come back and see me, okay. I’m am here to help you and I want to keep on doing that. Keep trying to get a hold of her.” I nodded, “I will see you again soon and I want you to take care until then.” I nodded, drying my eyes. I stood up and gave her a hug.
“Thank you for your time, Cindy.”

“Anytime, Jesse. It’s my job to be here for you and that’s what I’m going to do.” I shook her hand and walked over to Aaron.

“Meet me outside, okay.” Aaron told me. I nodded in silence and walked out the door.

“Aaron, thank you for bringing him today.”

“Well, he needed it.” Aaron said, giving her a hug.

“Aaron, I can tell how hurt Jesse is when I saw the look in his eyes when he sat down. I feel like this is going to be a really long process before he starts to heal and understand why this had to happen, and don’t back down. Don’t back down, do your share of helping him and I thank you again for bringing him in.”

“I’m never going to back down. I’m going to be there every step of the way.” Aaron told her. He shook her hand again and left the room.

I pushed myself off the wall, when Aaron came out of Cindy’s office. He walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

“How you feeling?”

I sighed and shook my head, “A little better. It just feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, just by talking and thinking of explanations. But I know this is going to be one hell of a ride, man.”

“I told you it’ll work. And don’t worry about it. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” I nodded, as a tear escaped my eye and slid down my cheek, burning through my skin. Aaron slipped his arms around me, bringing my close. He gave me a hug, only a true friend could give.