“Alex… Alex… Alexander James McLean.”

I snapped out of my trance and had glanced over at my teacher, Miss Carlene, who had been calling me for the past couple seconds. “Yes?”

“You’re up next sweetie, are you ready?” she replied with a warm smile.

I gulped, I wasn’t ready but I nodded anyway. This week was Parent Appreciation week, and it was our job to put together a small presentation to share with the class about our parents and the different things we appreciate them for. I hadn’t done my homework, so the whole time my fellow classmates spent bragging about their parents, I sat there and tried to think of ways I could brag about mines. I knew exactly what to say about my mom.

I walked up to the front of the class, strangely feeling comfortable, a little too comfortable with the fact that all eyes were on me. Although I felt comfortable, I still found myself fidgeting with the bottom hem of my shirt. “My parents are…”

Miss Carlene interrupted me, “Why don’t you start off with introducing yourself.” I nodded as I continued to play with the bottom of my shirt. “Hands to the side sweetie.”

I dropped my hands to the side and began cracking my knuckles. “Hi… my name is Alex McLean. My parents are Denise and Robert McLean.” I paused for the longest, noticing that all the young kids were looking intently at me, as if intrigued by what I was saying. I glanced back at my teacher, seeing her smile all the while.

I took a deep breath in and started blabbering away, not even taking notice to what was flying out of my mouth. One thing I knew for sure was that I was solely talking about my mother, saying nothing but good things about her; talking about all that she has done for me and all the reasons why I appreciate her.

Just when I thought I was in the clear and was ready to make my way back to my seat, Miss Carlene had spoken. “What about your father my dear?”

My eyes widen upon hearing that. “My… my father?” I stuttered, glancing back at her to make sure I heard her right.

She simply nodded and continued on with a smile, “Yes. You’ve said such lovely things about your mother, but why don’t you tell us a little something about your father.”

“My father… is Robert McLean.”

Miss Carlene chuckled, “You’ve already told us that sweetie.”

What else could I say about my father, I had no idea who he was. Although I wasn’t really paying attention to the students that have gave their presentation earlier, I knew that they all had fathers and I didn’t want to be the outcast one and say that I didn’t know who my father was or where he is. So, since I didn’t know who my father was, I did what any kid my age would do… I made him up.

I started going off on the class, telling them everything and anything I thought a father should be. As I continued to ramble on, I was beginning to realize that I was liking this father that I was making up, and for a moment I felt as if everything that I was saying was true; that my father was this great man who did all these marvelous things and was filthy rich. I left the class staring at me in disbelief while Miss Carlene only stared at me in doubt.

For that moment I felt like I actually had a father in my life, but all that changed once I glanced at the disapproving stare from Miss Carlene. To my surprise, she started clapping, and the whole class followed suit. I released a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding and slowly made my way back to my seat. What kid would want to stand before a class and say that they didn’t have a father? Definitely not me.

~*~*~*~

“Hello Mrs. McLean, please have a seat.”

“Thank you.”

“Now Mrs. McLean, I know you must…”

“Please, call me Denise.”

“Denise… I know you must be wondering why I called you, and believe me, it’s nothing bad… I just wanted to talk a bit about your son and… your husband.”

Here I was, sitting outside of the classroom, listening to my mom and Miss Carlene talk. The door was closed but I could still every word they were saying. I heard the Miss Carlene relay to my mother everything I had presented to the class about my father. I stood on my tiptoes and glanced through the window in the door, watching as my mother’s brow knitted in confusion and began shaking her head. I turned away from the door and sat down on the chair that was situated outside, letting my back and my head hit the wall rather hard.

“You see Miss Carlene, my husband left us when Alex was only four. Even before he wasn’t really around and really in Alex’s life.”

I shot out of the chair again to peep in through the window, watching Miss Carlene’s reaction. She had one hand covering her mouth while the other hand was placed over her heart, and she just stared at my mother with wide eyes. I pouted as I flounced back down on the chair. Like I really needed her to start treating me differently because I have no father.

“I am so sorry to hear that Denise, I had no idea…”

“It’s really fine Miss Carlene. I’m sorry for the stunt Alex pulled today. He’s known to have a wild imagination.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed. The reaction I saw on Miss Carlene’s face began playing through my head, and it made me wonder what she thought about it, what she thought about me. Did she think I was an outcast because I had no father? Would she start treating me differently? What about when our class does activities for Father’s day, would she have me doing something else all by myself? I was already an outcast and felt all alone, I didn’t want to be treated any different all because I didn’t have a father.

My eyes widen with that thought, what if she told the class what my mother just told her. Everyone already thought I was weird and different, having the teacher announce to them that I had no father would only make the situation worse. I didn’t want to be treated differently, I was already looked at as different by everybody else. I felt my eyes well up with tears. As if my life couldn’t get any worse, the fact that people realizing that I was nothing but a bastard just did.

“Alex?”

I quickly rubbed my eyes, trying to erase any trace of my tears. After rubbing them rather harshly, I looked up and saw my mom standing beside me.

“Do you have something to say to Miss Carlene?”

“Oh really Denise, it’s not necessary…” Miss Carlene began to say, but I quickly interrupted her.

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out, intertwining my hands together in front of me, starting down at the floor all the while. “I’m sorry that my presentation was a fake, that everything I said about my father was a lie. I’m sorry for making it all up.”

Miss Carlene bent down to get eye leveled with me. She grabbed my hands, forcing me untwist them and grasp her hands as well. “Alex… your presentation was not a lie. Everything you said about your mother was simply… beautiful. I told your mother all the nice things you said about her and also told her that your presentation was focused mainly on her. I know all those things was not fake, nor was it a lie. And I had no idea about your father, I am so sorry sweetie.”

This time, I couldn’t and didn’t want to hold my tears in. I let them cascade freely, squeezing my eyes shut because I didn’t want to look at her. Suddenly, I felt a soft hand caress my cheek, wiping away the hot tears that was streaming down my face. I opened my watery eyes to stare at the sincere smile of Miss Carlene through my blurry vision.

“I didn’t want to tell you the truth because I didn’t want them to laugh at me… I didn’t want you to treat me different.” I said to her in barely a whisper.

“Honey, I wouldn’t have treated you any differently. And if only you would have told me what the circumstances were, I wouldn’t have pressed you to talk about your father. The class wouldn’t have laughed at you.”

“Yes the would’ve.” I pouted. “They all have fathers… they would’ve thought that I was weird.”

“Honey, you are not alone. And as for the other students, this is a very personal matter and they wouldn’t have known anything about it.”

“You mean… you aren’t gonna tell the class tomorrow that I have no father?”

I caught her by surprise with that question, “Heavens no Alex. It isn’t any of their business. But I do hope you realize that everything you’d ever want in a father is right there,” she pointed over towards my mom “right in your mother. She plays both roles in your life, and I’m so glad that you see and appreciate that. You are truly blessed to have her as your mother.”

I sniffed as I looked up at my mom, who was only looking down at me smiling. I smiled back and grabbed her hand in mines. “Yup, the best mommy in the whole entire world!!”

That caused them to both laugh and at that moment I have never felt so special. Miss Carlene looked back at me, “And when I have a son, I could only hope that he’d be just like you. You are so special Alex, so very special to me, your mom, and to everybody else… and I wouldn’t want you to change for the world.”

Miss Carlene helped me to realize two things that day. First one being that everything that I had ever wanted in a father was right there in my mother, for she played the role of both parents in my life. She also helped me to realize that when I get older and have a child of my own, that I would love and care for that child, give and be everything a father could, everything my father wasn’t to me. It was that day that I realized that I would be nothing like my father.