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I knew that the sun had just risen because the house was still pretty dark but you could see a tinted glow seeping through the blinds. I looked to my left and the clock read, 5:48am. I sighed and realized I rarely slept in anymore.

I decided I'd might as well get up. I kind of liked those mornings where I could just sit by myself in my frickin' underwear and not having to worry about anything or anybody.

I got downstairs and started to make the coffee for the morning.

I loved the smell of coffee in the morning.

I heard claws tapping along the kitchen floor and saw Daisy circle around until she found a spot to lay underneath my feet. I reached down and patted her head real quick before getting up to make my cup of coffee.

I took a big sip of it and let the hot coffee slide down my throat. It was weird having Addy wake up so late... the whole reason I started waking up so early was because of her and now I'm up at the freakin' crack of dawn and she wakes up around 8. Except for some occassions... if she wets the bed or has a bad dream, she's usually up before me.

And I think this morning might be one of those occassions.

The pitter patter of her little socked feet jogging across the hardwood floor could be heard from the kitchen and I just smiled, waiting to see her arrival into the kitchen.

"Daddy!" she came and crawled into my lap, "I was so scared!"

I knew it. Bad dream.

"Aww... what happened, baby? It was just a dream."

"They took me away from you in my dream!"

I hugged her tightly. She dreamed about that? I had dreamed about those exact same things. I hated those... nightmares. Where I would be in a courtroom and they were dragging her away from me. I always had nightmares about that.

"Daddy's right here, baby," I kissed her forehead, "Let's get your mind off of it. You need a bath and then we'll go to the park, okay?"

She still looked upset but she nodded, "'Kay."

___

"Do the voices, do the voices!" she screetched from the tub as I sat on the floor, holding two Barbie dolls.

"Hi, I'm Barbie... wait a minute," I cleared my throat and started speaking in a high pitch voice, "Hi, I'm Barbie."

Adelynn started giggling.

"There we go. That voice is better, right?"

She nodded and continued laughing at me.

In a really low voice, I said, "And I'm Ken."

I went back to my regular voice, "Did you wash your toes?"

"Uh-huh!" she giggled and held up her foot to prove what she did.

I acted like I tried to think about it, "Did you... wash... your... butt?"

She started laughing ridiculously hard and pointed to her butt, "Yeahhh!"

I just smiled at her and gave her a 'knuckle sandwich.' "Then let's get you out of this tub... and go to the park!"

"The park?!" she asked excitedly.

"The park," I confirmed.

I helped her out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her, "Go to your room and start getting yourself dressed. I'll be in my room getting myself dressed," I grinned.

She disapeared down the hallway into her bedroom.

_______

I loved watching Adelynn play in the park. It made me feel like such a normal person and not this big celebrity everone made me out to be. Sitting here, watching my daughter run around and interact with other kids, was probably the highlight of my life.

I wasn't AJ McLean, the Backstreet Boy, around Addy. I was just Alex... I was daddy to her. I didn't have to please anyone but her. I was good being in the public eye, because I was good at faking smiles and pretending like everything is okay. I'm a social butterfly, as Brian calls me.

That's not really me, though. I get pretty insecure about myself... alot. But when it's just me and Adelynn, it's like everything is okay. Even when we have fights... she is my daughter, and she is only four years old, so there's always temper tantrums.

That's why I get scared when I'm in a relationship. I get scared accepting Amanda into my life, because I do love her. I just don't want anything to happen, or anything to change. It scares me.